I hear it all the time on TRP how it's not a good idea to plate single moms. Was curious what the negatives are and what the positives are and if it's even worth the trouble.
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karmasutur3 10y ago
One of the reasons that it's not recommended:
If you have a kid, you know the unbelievable amount of work, time, and resources it takes to raise a kid without being shitty.
And when you take one of the people out of that equation (the man) the weight of it on her is doubled.
If you don't have a kid, or before you have a kid, you think something along the lines of 'Well, cmon, how hard can it be?"
It's way, way, way, way harder than you think if you give a fuck about your kids, especially at first.
Why would this matter? It puts the woman, in many cases, into an extreme 'find a beta bux NOW mode'.
Lying, faking everything, using every single trick she's ever learned to convince you that she's an angel on wheels.
She'll be taking anal like a pornstar and bringing women home for you to have threesomes with one minute, but often after you're on the hook all that shit will vanish in an instant.
Non-single-mother women don't really have a motivation often to go to insane lengths to convince you that they are amazing, especially in this feminized society. But a woman who is sick and tired of being late on the car bill, and getting 3 hours of sleep a night because her 3 year old still wakes up and freaks out every night, and then going to work for 50 hours a week as a waitress - only to spend all that money on childcare - that's a desperation you are maybe not familiar with.
The night you met her out? That was probably the first night out she's had in two months, and she paid a sitter for it - and that's if she's a good single mom. The party or fun lifestyle is usually long dead in these girls. If she seems way fun with a couple kids at home, she's either got you fooled, or she's a shit mother.
In addition, they have already been through at least one guy - either an alpha or a failed beta provider. So you KNOW that's she is some combination of alpha-widow, or is willing to drop a beta and move on. This means you cannot expect any quarter in the future if you're not on point.
She's also usually broken marriage vows to someone, which means she lied about essentially the biggest promise you can make, and thus you can't really trust her. There are some exceptions, but it's too rare.
But maybe you're not looking for a relationship, just a plate? If any type of woman was prone to the extremist things you hear horror stories about in the news, like getting herself pregnant from a thrown away condom, or false rape accusations, well.... it's desperate women. Dude, if she can get you on an alimony/child support hook, why not! Chad thundercock left her high and dry with a kid, and he is living out of a van and left her in this horseshit situation, so fuck all men, right?
And as much as feminism portrays the image of the strong single mother who really doesn't need a man, it's almost never reality.
Lets not even get into stretch marks / hormonal changes / changes in sex drive / changes in monthly cycle/ other things that come to some women post- pregnancy.
So, you wanna plate a possibly secretly desperate, already used up, beta bux charging, lying, alpha widowed, frigid girl?
You go right ahead man. Wanna LTR or marry her cause she's 'the one'? Enjoy dumping resources into raising chad's kid who was fucked up before you even arrived because the right male figure wasn't in their life in critical developmental stages.
Niiiiiice.
Uh, FUCK no.
loin_fruit 10y ago
This is exactly the type of answer I wanted. Thanks man. I appreciate it a lot. Great advice!
unknowncitzen 10y ago
Pretty good advice here, however, assess the situation.
I am currently in an LTR with a single mom, before we hooked up I set up some very clear rules.
She stays at my place when the kids are with their father every second weekend. The weekend that they are with her, I go over after the kids are in bed and leave in the morning.
We fuck like animals, she is fun to be around.
I have established friendship with the kids but:
The frame I have projected and maintain is: I am the guy to be with when she wants a break from her kids.
So in the end just assess the situation and establish rules and safe guards to protect yourself, its not impossible but it can really test your beta behavior sometimes but it also allows you to stay in an alpha frame on hard mode.
PM_ME_UR_GRUNDLE 10y ago
These seem like very fair boundaries
Villaintine 10y ago
If your intention is to keep her a plate and you maintain that boundary honestly then I don't see the problem. I plate single moms all the time. Just stay away from the kids.
Eventually all plates fall, they either drop on their own or you drop them and the kids don't deserve that loss.
On the other hand, the main benefits I find are that they tend to be way, way less picky and they have busy schedules so you don't have to spin them as much as women without kids.
loin_fruit 10y ago
Hmm interesting. Do you ever have the single moms try and pull some shit and say you knocked them up or find other ways to turn you into bb/provider?
I know this girl liked me in the past but then she got knocked up with two kids by this dude she was supposed to marry who's in the navy. They broke up and now I see she's thirsty for dick all the time.
I matched with her on tinder so now I'm just trying to figure out if it's worth it and if so, what to even say and bring up through there.
Villaintine 10y ago
I got a vasectomy years ago- best money I ever spent (I'd known for years before that I didn't want kids) although I'd never tell them. It's my own way of checking their integrity. But yeah, they always try to push into relationship. Just maintain your boundaries.
Always protect yourself first and foremost. You can't trust a woman but you can trust a woman to be a woman.
GuitarHero07 10y ago
The negatives have been covered quite well already. There is one advantage to some single moms. Because they are so exhausted, stressed and deprived of male attention, sometimes they really want a good corn holing. Because their time is limited, many will often put out early and they will do their best to get you hooked.
I recently fucked a single mom I met off Tinder. We banged the first night we met and it was pretty much effortless. Yes, the effects of raising 2 kids did take its toll on her body but she made up for it with pure gusto. She gagged on my cock, took it in the ass and rode me like a pornstar. She even offered to let me raw dog because she was on the pill...yeah right! I used my own condoms. We did 4 rounds but I never met up with her again after that.
The key is to never get hooked. As others stated, she is desperately trying for a beta bux so she will put on a great performance for you. They're good for a hit and quit. Not event plate status IMHO. Just bang her out and then next her. Otherwise she will try to play on your heartstrings and do her best to convince you to fix her shitty decisions.
fnordsnord 10y ago
I lost a real good friend to a single mom. It was a classic case. The ex was a literal bad boy. Scheduled to do time he made like a hole the air, leaving her with two mixed-race boys to raise and educate.
She was pretty, charming, and, while not too bright, cunning. She hung out with us, shared our hobbies, traveled with us, and we go on great. I stood at their wedding.
And as SOON as she had him locked in she started driving wedges. ANYTHING that diverted resources away from her family got cut out. Eventually, EVERYTHING from his old life was gone, including me. I saw what was happening and faded before she could cut me out. So I keep in touch via email. But that's it.
I hate single moms.
PM_ME_UR_GRUNDLE 10y ago
Then single moms complain that they dont have any hobbies or friends anymore now that theyre married and have kids, after they do this shit. WTF
lookbeyondtheobvious 10y ago
People make a ton of overly analytic points about single moms but really, there's just one thing to say that'll make you realize dating single moms isn't worth it. They won't make a lot of time for you, and you'll never be her #1 priority. Good luck making dates where it's just you two alone for long, the kid is waiting to get picked up from the daycare/ex/parents. Go ahead and see for yourself, that was just my experience that made me realize it sucked.
loin_fruit 10y ago
Yeah I'm assuming that it'll be hard to just get alone time or her kids will be a great escape goat to get out of sex or dates and other shit. Which you won't be able to call her out for without looking like a dick.
I feel like they'll be cock hungry as fuck and that'll be fun but I don't want to have to meet their kid right away or have them say I got them pregnant and try and lock me down so I can become the provider. Fuck that shit.
Epicureanist 10y ago
"Playing" is when you lead someone on to think you're interested in a monogomous relationship.
As long as you tell them you're seeing other people, nothing is wrong.
loin_fruit 10y ago
Haha I fucked up and meant plating but for some reason my phone put playing
[deleted] 10y ago
They fill out a roster quite nicely. Due to their limited available time you know exactly how long they can stay for and then they go (mainly due to kids).
Beautiful_Idealism 10y ago
One of my life goals is to plate a single mom (or not single, I don't really give a shit) who has a kid older than me.
On topic, it depends how old she is and how old her kids are. If her kids are too young its probably not worth it.
justskatedude 10y ago
Depends on the context but always remember to wear a condom and pull out. Don't fuck with women who want to be married.