Hi,
Nothing to long about this one, just looking for suggestions..
Long story short, asked this girl who I've met if she wants to come and join me for a coffee tomorrow as I'll be out in the city anyway, more of an invite without being direct, just inviting her into my space..
She's replied with that "she may have to work tomorrow"
but lets say in general, if someone were to say "sorry I can't"
What's a better approach than "ok another time" or "when are you next free then?" to me it just seems to beta, would like more of an alpha approach
TheBigO420 10y ago
"Ok, well if you change your mind..."
And move on.
tepper2 10y ago
This is such a horseshit response. A grown woman, even if she does work different hours, knows when she's working tomorrow. She's blowing you off, not interested.
Your approach should be aloof. Who cares that she can't make it. "Another time," then reestablish contact in a few days. If she does it again, GFTOW.
zenRP 10y ago
Alpha response is no response. You don't have time to keep rearranging your life for one girl. Ideally you have plans with other women.
If she doesn't text you in a week you can try again with the same approach, inviting her along to an activity that you're doing. If she declines and doesn't try to work out other plans then she isn't interested. On to the next.
Archwinger 10y ago
Wrong approach. You are getting coffee anyway. She was just invited to tag along, right?
So send a text saying that you're about to grab a cup of coffee at X. Meet you there.
Don't ask. Don't have a date. Just tell her where to be and when. Three possible outcomes.
1 - she comes. Initiate, escalate, game, score.
2 - she says she can't come but proposes an alternate time. Tell her you'll let her know. Then go get your coffee. Catch up with her in a week or two. Game other women during that time.
3 - she says she can't but doesn't propose another time. She isn't interested. Go silent. Forget about her. Game other women instead. Only contact her if she reaches out to you again.
I guess four possibilities. She might just tell you she's not interested. In which case you should skip the coffee and hit the gym.
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jonewman 10y ago
"no problem ill be over at blank around this time shoot me a txt if youre off"
Archwinger 10y ago
Why the fuck are you having a text message conversation with a woman. Your texts should be short and used to communicate vital information. Not a lengthy blog post trying to paint a picture of your life to try to impress a girl.
Seriously. Unless you have a magic cell phone and your dick can reach through it and fuck a woman, cut that shit out. Texts should average around six words each, less if you can get away with it. You should be texting her once for every two times she texts you, with a few exceptions like answering questions to set up logistics.
The content of your texts should be logistics. Time and place. Just enough color so she knows sex is a possibility.
Text message conversations validate women for zero effort. They can spend five minutes texting 20 guys at a bus stop and the rest of the day basking in the attention and validation. Then go fuck someone else she just met who isn't begging for attention on her phone.
yaaa_gunners_yaaa 10y ago
Ahh I see this often cropping up on TRP and I'm pretty blasé about it. The reason why it keeps cropping up is because is people are so bad at competently messaging in an engaging way that they keep fucking up into the realm of blandness.
Not be able to send a few playful messages to a girl is a massive sign that you're creatively and verbally limited. You don't need to go full military speak.
3rt41 10y ago
I typically go with something like calling her and saying "we are going out thursday at 9pm."
If she says ok, atta-boy
If she says no, and adds a reschedule, it's still a good sign
If she says no, and gives a flaky response/excuse, soft next
It all comes down to this.
anonlymouse 10y ago
Move on to the next one.
If you can't, then you see why she's not interested. Time for gym dates instead of girl dates.
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tepper2 10y ago
You should remove this.
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RidleySmith 10y ago
What's her incentive to go on a date with you? Are you challenging, cocky-funny, assertive and overall... Tingle-inducing? She wouldn't be too busy to meet up with brad Pitt. The "alpha-ness" of your response is not the problem, your SMV is.
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RidleySmith 10y ago
Can't play YouTube where I am. So, what's her incentive? Being an English traveler... Isn't an incentive.
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RidleySmith 10y ago
That's still not actually an incentive, but it's closer. So the incentive would be that you can provide fun, specifically adventurous and spontaneous excitement to the girl.... Does she know this? Does she expect this from you? How have you demonstrated this to her? (telling someone you're adventurous isn't much of a demonstration) what would she be thinking you'd talk about on the coffee date?
No one is too busy, we all have exactly the same amount of time. They're just de-prioritising you.
BinglesTRP 10y ago
Try this one:
Here's a simple version. If you say "You. Me. X. 9PM" and she says "Sorry, I can't". You just don't say anything else. Ever again. If she reaches out to YOU after this and tries to reconnect, you can give her one more chance. "You. Me. Y. 9:30PM".
If she does it again, you delete the number and never answer a text from her again.