I'm in an drug rehabilitation program, long term, and for me the girls there are off the table. Not something I would consider sexually or romantically.
If I see em around, could I just act towards them in the same way I wouldn't care about asking a dude to hangout? I'd ask a bro to something, and if he said he was busy but still receptive, would I have to worry about seeing them next time and seeing if they're up for some fellowship?
I figure if I'm not gaming them, some rules go out the window, but I really have no idea how this works. I'm not sure if their hypergamy applies to friendships as well.
Merwebb 8y ago
Been there done that.
Enjoy the time, it can be fun! but AWALT and dont get angry when she uses you. She will.
Let her and this friendship go (to hell) when that happens.
favours_of_the_moon 8y ago
If you give a girl attention, she will think you are INTO her.
If you say hi as you walk down the hall, she will think you were IN THAT HALLWAY, because somehow you KNEW she was gonna be there and were scheming to get 3 seconds of her attention, because after all, SHE is the center of THE universe.
We call this the "Female Ego Quantum Singularity." No bitch can get over herself. You need to work around that.
Whisper Moderator 8y ago
♂
That is some top-shelf, finely aged, flavourful artisan misogyny right there. Mods, please point this dude.
RocketManV 8y ago
Yea, that's definitely the feeling I was getting. Shit sucks, guess that's why they say guys stick with guys and girls stick with girls. I'll let 'em do their own thing. Thanks man.
Metalgear222 8y ago
how do you work around something so certain?
favours_of_the_moon 8y ago
You adhere to TRP principles, so that it works in your favor.
f3yleaf 8y ago
Having female friends you dont want to fuck is great, treat her like a male friend.
Hypergamy does not apply to friendships lol, awalt does tho.
RocketManV 8y ago
Gotcha.
mr_nate_ 8y ago
This is certainly a gray area, but not too big of one.
First look at /u/favours_of_the_moon's advice - all relevant.
But one thing you should understand is that women are not your bros. You can tell your bros anything and receive honest assistance back. Your bros are down for you anytime.
Not to paint this girl as some sleaze bag, but women in general are always attempting to work some angle in order to profit. It's not her fault, they've learned to and evolved to. This is how women survive.
Sure, you can and will have fun with her as though she's a friend, but never allow her to attain that "bro-status." Something may/will backfire. Remember that women have an entirely different way of thinking than men (emotional vs. logical). Because of this, you can never really let her in.
I just read this thread an hour ago, and I think a quick read will give you an idea of what I'm talking about. TLDR: Woman goes bat-shit on her long time guy friend after she can't profit.
In the end dude, don't overthink your situation with her. Have fun with her whether it's sexual or not, and focus on self-improvement and your rehab. If she helps you improve yourself, dip your toe in, just don't dive in like you would with a bro.
favours_of_the_moon 8y ago
Hahaha, it's not her fault!
RocketManV 8y ago
Huh, its crazy to learn how their adaptation has affected them outside of the sexual arena. I did read that post though, so it makes sense to always keep a level of distance in there.
To a certain degree, in meetings when I'm sharing I have/need/want to be completely honest about where I'm at and what I'm going through, even with women present. But I'm learning that in one on one situations with women in the context of recovery, you need to have that guard up.
mr_nate_ 8y ago
A final "good luck" to you - if you try hard enough you'll get what you want.