high value guy

So why commit

It's quite possible that although she's ridden the CC you have set the new high point for her and are more Alpha to her at least than all of the other guys.

I feel like I've been that guy with several women myself. Not meaning to brag but I've been a lot of women's firsts in the bedroom with stuff and have raised the bar for them as far as I could tell. My problem used to be getting them into the bedroom but never not knowing what to do once I got them there. If this is the positing you're in OP then you have less to worry about than most. Good on you.

There are studies to suggest that women who ride the CC are less likely to be capable of having a stable LTR and if marriage is on the table leads to greater divorce rates. But you're ahead of the curve by already being aware of TRP. Stay on top of your game and you vary well may never run into significant problems with her.

If she doesn't have any other glaring personality flaws it's possible (albeit rare) she could be reformed RPW material. Only really you can be the judge of that.

Studies and observation from this sub are against you but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions.

My last significant gf I fell in love with her. Yes she was hot and the sex was fantastic but she was kind of crazy. Luckily I wisened up and broke it off before things really got out of control. I was able to see things more clearly after the breakup that I wasn't able to see in the relationship. Let that be a lesson to you that you might be missing some things because she's so hot and the sex is so good.

Stay frosty brother.

Just enjoy fucking her while she's around and then move on. Story time. I also went to a elite school in the NE. I had a lot going for me, athlete, solid career options, 6'3, ripped, good looking, you name it.

I had plenty of options when it came to females and enjoyed my first two years in school. Then I met a "great" girl, "S" and after a couple months we settled down into a LTR. She was inexperienced sexually, had only slept with one other person in a relationship. I believed her, based on the inexperience. If it was a con, it was a damn good one.

Over time we worked it out, she learned how to give bj's etc. and we progressed to an awesome sex life. I vetted her friends (not sluts), my parents loved her, I thought S was a great girl to have a serious LTR with.

Well, she goes abroad her senior yr for a month, a specific portion of study important for her major. She meets another dude there, from another elite school real close to mine, also an athlete, in my same sport, in my same conference. She mentions his name casually on a video call, asks if I know him. Yup, I say I played against him. Whatever.

She comes back from her trip a couple weeks later, breaks down and says she kissed him (right...), I press, she explains she slept with him. I ended things immediately.

I wish I could say that I crushed tons of pussy and forgot about her and moved on. Yeah I did the first part, but it did nothing. I began to hate the sport that I loved growing up because it just reminded me of him railing her thousands of miles away. It reminded me of the fact that he was better than me, had better stats.

This wasn't about wanting her back. Nope, I am disgusted by her. I graduated soon after and noped her the fuck out of my life, blocked her from my phone, fb, everything. But I literally thought about her fucking him everyday for over a year. Hell, I still think about it, hence this post.

I've never told my parents what happened because I am too ashamed. They still say things like "why'd you leave S? She seemed so nice." I just say, "It didn't work out." I never told my friends either because...same deal. I'm sure they have figured it out by now though.

So why did I write this? I don't know. Maybe this will finally provide some sort of closure to something I have held onto for so long. I guess this is letting out the beta/oneitis/whatever you guys fucking call it for the world to see. It took me a long time to commit to one woman, and I went all in. This is how it ended up.

In case you all were wondering, this didn't change my life trajectory in any way other than what is internal. On the outside, I am doing well. However, I often question whether or not I will ever be able to take that plunge again, and now 2.5yrs later after the fact, I would have to say no.

I have tried and will continue to try to "let it go." I don't want to live as the bitter person I am right now for the rest of my life. Perhaps as more time passes it will drift further into the rear view, but I doubt I will ever truly forget about it.

So I guess the only constructed advice I can give to the op is to be very careful with your commitment and your "love." I'm not here to say what is alpha or beta or whatever. From the sounds of it, you would be taking a big risk turning this girl into a LTR. With that said, however, you can seemingly do everything right and still get shat on, so take that for what it is.

They're all alpha widows after a certain point. In your case she's definitely in that category. /u/KyfhoMyoba hit the nail on the head.

This percentile way of thinking is what fucks you up. In your mind you are constantly trying to find reasons as to why you are better than most men.

Your way of judgment is based 100% on what she might perceive superior as a male which makes you value her perception a little too much.

Instead, you should accept that you are a member of the "disposable sex". And to a man's eye you are nothing but a pair of dick and balls. Just like all the rest of men she fucked who were no less men than you.

Let your ego aside and live by your own standards.

seems genuine in her desire to commit

They all seem genuine. They're amazingly good at believing their own emotion driven fantasies. The problem is the "desire to commit" doesn't last any longer than a burst of emotion.

This is why you get so many girls who claim to be monogamous but have a list of boyfriends a mile long. They love the feeling of having a guy commit to them, but then they get bored of the guy after a few months and dump him.

we matched on Tinder and had sex the first time we hung out.

Bro, she's a slut.

She claims that they were fun, of course, but that they were painfully basic and that she would never want to date any of them.

You have to consider her motivations in telling you stuff like this. The truth is, these guys think she's a slut. They used her like a slut and they would never commit after she gave it up that fast.

If you get into an LTR with this girl, these guys will be laughing behind your back about how they double teamed her at that late night. Even worse, there is a good chance she will cheat with one of these cocks from her past.

Does AWALT apply here?

Fuck, dude. AWALT always applies. "All Women" is the first part of the acronym.

Alpha Widowing is the least of your worries in this case. You need to think about what sort of mental health issues and emotional baggage would lead her to seek validation by whoring around to that extreme degree. This wasn't just a few random hook ups. I believe you used the term "prodigious numbers".

If anyone cares, Kate is super cool and I kind of love her.

You've got oneitis. If you're having a good time, why not keep enjoying it. You need to manage your expectations though. Many relationships seem perfect for a few months but fall apart once the novelty fades. Expecting a girl with a history of extremely promiscuity to be faithful over the longterm is a bad bet.

So have your fun, but don't pencil her in as your future wife just yet.

Man, reading this post was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I read the entire thing even though it wasn't necessary past the third paragraph where you basically asked us if you should commit to a girl that you met off tinder who fucked you on the first date.

You say you're no slouch in the SMV department, but then talk about her being pumped and dumped by guys in the 95th percentile. Well, it doesn't matter if you're SMV is good, because those guys' SMV is great and they are the ones you're competing with. AF/BB is relative, in that environment you are most definitely BB.

Your entire post is a checklist of exactly the kind of girl to not commit to. People don't advocate against committing to women like this because of some 1000 year old cross cultural conspiracy to oppress women, they do it because women like these are terrible bets for commitment.

Do you want to know what the number one thing a man wants most from a woman? It's not looks, or good sex, it's not even youth, although you'd think it would be, it's loyalty. Your problem is your dopamine addled brain has got you confusing beauty with loyalty. Literally the only positive thing you've mentioned about this girl is that she's smoking hot. Everything else she does that you think is positive, like fucking your brains and saying she wouldn't date guys who already pumped and dumped her is textbook. She's on her best behavior because she's trying to reel you in. She torpedoed her reputation with her promiscuity and now in one of the most classic fucking moves of all time, she's switched strategies to try to nail down a lower status male because she's essentially been excommunicated from the aforementioned 95 percentile.

You know what the smart man does with a girl like this? He fucks her. Alot. He fucks her as much as he can for as long as he can. And if he's really smart he parades her around social venues and uses her for social proof and preselection to establish new social connections with new girls that can be accessed later. What the smart man doesn't do with a girl like this is commit to her. Because it doesn't matter how hot she is if she eventually divorce rapes you. It's like robbing a bank and getting shot and killed by the cops outside. It doesn't matter how much money you grabbed, you can't spend any of it if you're DEAD.

If you're trying to be good enough for her, she has already flipped the script.

Of course things are going to be wild. She's fishing for your commitment.

Also all you've given us is a description of her physically as your basis for judging if she's not the stereotypical AlphaWidow. So what? How do you think a girl becomes an AW in the first place if not for being physically attractive?

Face it you're trying to save a ho. Don't be that guy. Or do. Who gives a fuck anyway. It's your life.

"She doesn't belong to you. It was just your turn."

Since 1968, if she decides that she wants to slurp some more athlete cock, she will do it and you can not prevent it.

Your pain is that it's bothering you. Maybe you need to become a fatalist or pessimist (Pessimism is a state of mind in which one anticipates undesirable outcomes or believes that the evil or hardships in life outweigh the good or luxuries). There is freedom from emotional burden in this, you know, loosing all hope.

Your advantage is that you know TRP so you will smell when something is wrong. It's the naive men, who get fooled. They were not dumb, they were just uniformed of what can happen, so they did not see this signs.

If she is objectively higher than you, this will end, so enjoy the ride while it lasts. Or maybe she decided that she is satisfied with as much as she had of the 'fun phase'.

I feel like half of RP is managing your own emotions, quirks, and expectations...

hooked up with several VERY high value guys

we matched on Tinder

She claims that they were fun, of course, but that they were painfully basic and that she would never want to date any of them.

She would never want to "date" any of the "fun" guys, just fucked them raw.

OP, I can't read minds, but it looks like that she views you as "stable" and not "fun" which means that in 2 years or less you will be down to starfish duty sex. Her SMV is very high. She has ridden the CC. Remember that men will fuck that which they will not marry. Men with higher SMVs than you fucked this girl.

Your prognosis is not good.

1. You don't know what Alpha Widow means. Alpha Widow is when she finds ONE DUDE who is so uber-tastic in her mind that she stays with him until he dumps her. She will hold him above all other men no matter what. Riding the CC does not make one an Alpha Widow.

2. She's 20, you're 23. Although she can get started early, the Cock Carousel applies more to those hitting the wall at 30, who have had a plethora of guys and by that point "LTR" means something a lot different to them. She is just starting her days on the CC.

3. AWALT always applies, by definition. And, all that you're describing doesn't break that pattern. What you need to say to yourself is, what are you trying to justify exactly? And second, you need to look at what MAKES her LTR material. of which, there doesn't seem to be a whole shit ton going for her, since you haven't said anything at all that explains how she has strong maternal, family or other instincts.

First "AWALT" refers to hypergamy. ALL women will "fall out of love" if they FEEL that you are not the best man they can get. ALL women cave when Chad Thundercock rolls onto the scene. That's all that means.

An Alpha Widow is a woman who has had her whole world so rocked by Chad Thundercock that ALL subsequent relationships suffer by comparison. NO man can live up to Chad.

Your average Carousel rider may very well NOT have Chad on her backtrail. Maybe she just likes attention and learned you can get lots of it that way.

Yes, you can have a stable LTR as long as you remain the BEST man she FEELS she can get. And that applies to all women.

Let me just give you some logic here:

She claims that they were fun, of course, but that they were painfully basic and that she would never want to date any of them

Considering she probably wants you to commit to her, would she say anything different? Would she confess she loved alpha cock pounding they gave her and lusts them to this day? It is obvious that she would not, therefore it is obvious this input from her cannot be trusted.

This is where it gets tricky for me. Standard RP knowledge seems to suggest that I should absolutely avoid Kate, since her days on the CC make her poor LTR material. But when I read through blog posts and gilded TRP posts about alpha widows, there are huge inconsistencies between Kate and the archetypal alpha widow, and between me and the archetypal beta savior.

Why do you feel you need to distance yourself from theory? I know you can find points and details - theory is never precise, it's never exact, because it's a generalisation. Reality is always more detailed and quirky! But general consensus is that riding CC means not LTR material, period. It does not matter if you do not SEE the results of her doing it - they are there. She's used goods, she's critically flawed.

You can say "I'm going to say fuck it and LTR her, disregarding what RP theory says" but don't lie to yourself. Theory applies, AWALT applies. You could go against it and you COULD get successfull. That's another thing about theory. It works over distance, meaning, over a lot of scenarios. You may be lucky and be an exception. However, it's like joining a lottery hoping you'll be the one to win the million. Sure, you can, but over a long distance, you will get less money back than you put in by buying lottery tickets. Meaning it's not worth it hoping to be an exception.

What you are getting from her is good sex. That does not require an LTR. If you think you have to LTR / marry her to keep her around you're still socially conditioned - you don't. If you're "alpha" she'll stick around you for quite some time, then dump you for a beta bucks then come back to you every now and then to get fucked by you anyway.

Finally this is grave: "not necessarily being the best of the best she’s ever had".

Thing is, you have to for her to truly appreciate you. Hypergamy. She has to think she's with the best guy there is to truly lust you - otherwise she will start looking to the side. And since she rode the CC and fucked you on the first date she showed that she's not really willing to control those urges in herself (she gives in to temptation, instead of resisting it).

I met Kate last year when we matched on Tinder and had sex the first time we hung out.

These two reasons alone disqualify her from exclusivity at any point ever. MLTR also not an option. Your LTR commitment is extremely serious, its the highest honor, the highest you can bestow since you're not getting married. Sluts are wonderful but not for LTRs. LTR is loooooooong term. Not 1-2 years, 30+ is the attitude.

Seriously enjoy Kate. Keep doing what you're doing, she can be a fun part of your life. No need to complicate things by going official on her or your fleeting whims.