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- Hide Preview | 17 Comments | submitted 2 years ago by BrotherBloodAngel [Post Locked]

Trying to find the correct course here. Recently had sex with a oneitis that was plaguing me for a long time. After that, she nearly wanted to see me every day, complained over the phone she hadn't seen me in three days, and visited me at work. Saturday afternoon I deliberated as I had lost a lot of the feelings I had for her.

She told me she had Sunday off and I blew the text off. She knew I was at a party and stag, but when I tried to follow up Sunday she ignored me. I saw she was actively diddling on facebook so I knew it was intentional. I waited a bit longer after the gym and having had enough, I simply said "Enjoy your day off" knowing I wouldn't see her. Cue twenty minutes later "Sorry I was running errands!!! My phone was dead"

She asks me what I was doing, I was short and evasive. Didn't much care as I was being lied to. Once she felt her lie worked she had a bit of attitude. I told her I needed to make plans soon. She tells me she "forgot her cousin had a grad party. I guess I better go to that :(" but asked if I wanted to know when she got home. I said "you can". Of course she didn't.

Monday she asks me how my day was, bantered briefly and she snapped a pic of her smiling. I ignored it. Im of the opinion of being true to your internal feelings on a situation. I had nothing to say about it. She hasn't tried to reach out since, and tomorrow she's supposedly still coming to my party. Should I reinitiate today or ignore until tomorrow?

[-] CopperFox3c 21 Points 2 years ago

A man who is truly outcome-independent can wait till the end of time. Patience, my friend, is a lost virtue these days.

Why do you feel the need to strategize so much about your communication with this girl, or try to read meaning into her every text? It seems like you're dramatizing everything here. Leave the drama for the women, that's their thing.

Go do other shit, focus on your mission, your goals. Men lead, and the women will follow. You cannot negotiate desire. Go be the man she wants to follow.

[-] BrotherBloodAngel 3 Points 2 years ago

True, copper fox. I forget about outcome independence sometimes..I preach it a lot. I just didn't know if it's dumb to go completely silent when I can foster The Feelz for her up to my birthday. The last time we were out she looked like she was borderline in love with me.

[-] CopperFox3c 4 Points 2 years ago

A women gets the feelz for a man who is truly willing to walk away. You know you will see her again (your birthday), so let it simmer. Let her internal hamster do the work for you ...

[-] Jack_Sophmore 1 Point 2 years ago

Outcome independence is to some degree a unicorn. If you truly didn't care it wouldn't even need to be a strategy. You do care about what happens. Unless you are cool with being a buddhist monk that never gets laid.

[-] BrotherBloodAngel 1 Point 2 years ago

Is this more for him or me?

[-] Jack_Sophmore 2 Points 2 years ago

anyone. I think the saying "A man who is truly outcome-independent can wait till the end of time" highlights how absurd the idea of true outcome independence is. A man who can wait till the end of time doesn't have any testosterone or libido.

[-] CopperFox3c 4 Points 2 years ago

I can wait till the end of time, cause I'm busy fucking other chicks or accomplishing other goals in life. Take the pussy off the pedestal.

[-] Jack_Sophmore 1 Point 2 years ago

But what if the other chicks start expecting you to wait as well. How long can you wait?

[-] BinglesTRP 2 Points 2 years ago

Yeah, as in - "I can wait until the end of time for THIS WOMAN to message me, because I'm gaming and fucking other women".

You've somehow gotten it confused with some quasi-oneitis scenario here. The entire idea of OI is that you don't care about the outcome, because you know that the next one is right around the corner, that you're going to be fine regardless.

[-] BrotherBloodAngel 1 Point 2 years ago

Generally agree with that. So do you disagree with his stance? What would you do in my position?

[-] allcapsisyelling 5 Points 2 years ago

You lost feelings. Once you got your nut, you could see clearly and realized she was worthless. Even as a plate, she sounds like too much bother. Was the sex fantastic? I'm betting not. Next. Unless by "hooked up" you didn't mean "had sex," in which case also next.

[-] BrotherBloodAngel 6 Points 2 years ago

No, we did. It's just that she had been coming at me hardcore since. It wasn't bad, I just wasn't fully invested during it. I found myself asking why am I doing this during the act. I put myself thru a lot of bullshit (drug experimentation, etc) not directly because of her but partially a catalyst.

So it was kind of "all that for this?" It was also partially a realization that sex will not give me the fulfillment I'm searching for in life.

[-] allcapsisyelling 3 Points 2 years ago


[-] marty2k 3 Points 2 years ago

The biggest (and almost final) realization you make on our path is that pussy is really not worth too much effort. Sure you still like sex, but first you only start fucking women you are really attracted to physically, 9s and 10s. Then you only start fucking the ones that aren't a huge hassle to deal with and drop them as soon as they are. Then you only fuck women who you enjoy as people, who you enjoy spending time with, those you'd hang out with if you were a eunuch. And as your standards get higher and higher, you'll find you have more and more options.

You're entire life you've been told sex is the biggest thing in your life. It's what defines you as a man, it's what makes you feel like a good person, that if you don't have a lot of sex and are attractive to women you're worthless. Most guys don't go out to get laid because they actually enjoy sex, but because it makes them feel like a boss and boosts their ego. Women are told their sex is extremely valuable, worth all of a man's money, time, and effort. Seeing men doing anything and everything to get that only confirms that for them. But it's all bullshit, sex is awesome and feels great, but it's not worth putting up with a lot of the hoops women try to force you to jump through to get it and keep getting it.

Imagine if all men in the world realized this at once. Imagine what it would mean for women. Imagine the gigantic shift in gender dynamics we would feel as a result of it.

[-] [deleted] 4 Points 2 years ago

Sounds like she wanted to spend time with you on Sunday, but because you took too long to respond/were indecisive about making plans it didn't happen to logistics.

If you want to see her at your birthday party and have fun with her, text her something telling her to bring/wear something special for the party.

Try to get out of your head, too much overthinking here.

[-] SheCallsMeBae 1 Point 2 years ago


Next her. She's more into other things than you

[-] BrotherBloodAngel 1 Point 2 years ago

When she was fiending to see me every day and only stopped when I snubbed her? Okay then