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- Hide Preview | 65 Comments | submitted 2 years ago by awalt_cupcake [Post Locked]

I was homeschooled. At 14 I taught myself programming. In college I found contract gigs or tutoring that paid for everything. I've never been in a financial rut, besides student loans, but never had lots in savings. Got hired full time for a local company but I'm not graduated yet. I don't plan on sticking with this company; I'm only in it fo some more experience on paper and I'm saving up for a move out of my college town.

I started programming as a hobby. In highschool, I stopped being homeschooled and was public schooled, coding was my escape from a shit home life. Even in college I wanted to be a game developer, but as I grew older I realized the game career market was as volatile as being a successful small town rock band. Though i do have the desire to make small games as a side project, it is not my immediate concern. I didn't buy a car until 19 when I had a place of my own i could afford in college. I admit I'm self made and am proud of that but people don't see that right away. Never been in a wealthy social circle but I've always taken care of myself. I am lacking in the feminine understanding department which is where TRP steps in. (Handful of LTRS and hookups)

Point is computers will always be a part of me. I can keep going forward with it and I plan to but I've no clue how to make it appealing to women. Even coding is being feminized with stuff like Girls of code. Men respect it and the financial stability I've given myself for all these years but women don't fucking get it. Theyd probably get it if i had a big truck. I don't see myself getting into cars as a masculine hobby (besides repairs). It's expensive and quite the learning curve. I am considering fighting and firearms as my masculine hobby. I am lifting. My physical changes in appearance has turned heads since starting TRP.

My question: Any ideas for masculinizing programming and being a male programmer in the modern era?

[-] RemyPrice 32 Points 2 years ago

"If you've used an iPhone today, you've probably seen my work."

This line has gotten me laid an embarrassing amount of times.

[-] JamEngulfer221 6 Points 2 years ago

Is it embarrassing because it's zero?

[-] RemyPrice -2 Point 2 years ago

I'll give you a hint.

Over the weekend I turned down sex because I was too exhausted from sex.

[-] JamEngulfer221 2 Points 2 years ago

Mhm, yeah. I totally believe you there. What did you actually work on?

[-] RemyPrice -4 Point 2 years ago

Does it matter?

[-] SickSadWorId 1 Point 2 years ago

"If you've used an iPhone today, you've probably seen my work."

"what work?"

Now it matters

[-] RemyPrice -3 Point 2 years ago

You don't matter to me.

[-] SickSadWorId 2 Points 2 years ago

Great mentality. The community will go far with that thought. Doesn't disregard the fact that any bitch will call you out on your flawed corny one liner.

[-] awalt_cupcake 0 Points 2 years ago

I completely see why /u/RemyPrice's retorts are disproved of or disliked for the blatant cockiness and doubt-able authenticity of his suggestions.

But it's the sheer audacity of his IDGAF attitude that appeals to me. /u/RemyPrice is the embodiment of whipping out one's dick in front of a female prospect and saying "dinner's ready".

[-] JamEngulfer221 1 Point 2 years ago

Pro tip, don't take that attitude to heart. You're actively dashing your chances with it.

EDIT: Seriously, anyone with half a gram of self respect would pass over someone acting like that.

[-] RemyPrice 1 Point 2 years ago

But it's the sheer audacity of his IDGAF attitude that appeals to me.

If you care deeply about anonymous people and internet points, you basically have no chance in the real world.

[-] RemyPrice -4 Point 2 years ago

I don't need to prove anything to you, in order to contribute what works for me.

PS> Go fuck yourself.

[-] JamEngulfer221 3 Points 2 years ago

Yeah, I don't buy any of that. If that line is actually getting interest, the logical reply to that is "that's interesting, what did you do?". You don't just drop that line and have people instantly trying to have sex with you.

[-] notmyusualreddit 1 Point 2 years ago

I have no idea what happened below where people turned against this line. As you said, its not like they hear it and instantly want to blow you. But it counts as one more clever things said. One more diversion from their actual question. Anything that side steps their direct question while actually still answering it gets women interested. They're entertained.

OP gives you one line. Don't get upset that he didn't give you the next 5 also.

[-] RPthrowaway123 1 Point 2 years ago

Damn son, that's a good one.

[-] throwawaymatthew 15 Points 2 years ago

Try lifting weights and being a human tank, I think they will get the picture.

[-] H3lius 7 Points 2 years ago

Hey fellow homeschooler! Glad to know I'm not alone ;). We have a lot in common it seems. I'm also a giant nerd myself and work as an architecture/linux engineer for a major corporation.

You cannot masculinize computers or IT. Nor should you. First, work and life are separate things. What you do does not make you who you are. Second, programming is an intellectual occupation. If you're worried about looking like a pussy when you tell someone what you do, you're in the wrong mindset. Change your mindset bro! intellectual occupations are in right now. It's cool to be a nerd/geek these days.

It's not about gaining acceptance for what you do. Accept yourself for the kick ass shit you've done in your life so far and how much of a boss you'll be in 10 years if you're still working on self-improvement and TRP.

Read: "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" (book on amazon)

If you're ever in Northern Virginia/D.C., let me know and we'll sync up.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

DM'ing u

[-] 1NV0K3R 6 Points 2 years ago

There's a lot of good shit in here.

When girls ask what I do:

"I work for the government. With computers. That's all I can tell you."

Boom. Instant mystery + social status (he has clearance, is a big shot, whatever).

While I'm lying out of my fucking ass (I work for a shit emergency management software company), these plates wouldn't fucking know the difference.

The only problem is when you accidentally bump into a girl who actually does the same shit and starts drillin you...

[-] Myrpl 5 Points 2 years ago

The thing is, unless your goal is to go for something long term, girls won't bother with how you're getting your income (unless it's something blatantly obviously immoral like being a criminal). I've had a guy who was taller than me, was working out, had green eyes and all the pack that gets girls wet and he was a programming wizard, the type of "my distro is Arch Linux because I care about my computer's performance" kind of guy. But when he was talking to girls he had the "air of abundance" the kind of "I'm going to be me and I don't care if you stick around or not". He ended up having a relationship with one of the hottest girls in the university.

My point being, experiment with different hobbies. Buy a bicycle and get into a bicycle club where they go to the countryside every weekend. Get into rafting, swimming, play basketball/football with others etc. If somehow nothing clicks to you, just make sure you socialize and workout often. Don't force yourself to grab hobbies for the sake of having hobbies, unless you like them.

[-] FrameWalker 4 Points 2 years ago

Let me tell you what a programmer is. It's a man that makes his living creating ideas that travel the world at nearly the speed of light. He can sit in a cafe anywhere in the world and type away at his macbook, wearing his chinos and tailored Oxford cotton button down. He's a man with the power to be free. Nothing more masculine than that

[-] SkorchZang 3 Points 2 years ago

Set aside some time every week to plant yourself into "wild nature". IT work has a way of draining the spontaneous serendipity that is such a boost to Game. Even in cases where you have very little else going for you, the spontaneous vibe wins the day. I have no idea what does it, the sitting posture, the screens, the abstraction, but something's going on. And you can counteract it, by planting your naked ass in a raging ant hill, then running with the tarzan scream and just swimming in some lake for a while. You come out a different man, now it doesn't matter what your job title says. Those eyes have fire, and suddenly its like "omg the way he said Software was soooo sexy".

[-] aguy01 3 Points 2 years ago

The ideal candidate for a long term relationship is Alpha Bucks. If you are an alpha personality that lifts and does MMA, but you program for a living, you will have a super easy time leading women on and having long relationships. Your own morality determines how you lead them on, but the physically alpha programmer is a great way to get long term pussy from multiple women who think you will be the perfect guy to golddig.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

I've always had LTRs with very attractive women. Since TRP, tho, I don't want the LTRs anymore if I can spin plates. Spinning plates has proven to be difficult. With LTRs I had a window of time to seduce a woman and then date her. With plates I have to sell what I have quickly.

So I can't say that I'm struggling because at some point in time there is always a girl interested, but I'm not surrounded by fantastic looking options at all times either if that makes sense.

Alpha Bucks is something I can def aspire to be.

[-] aguy01 1 Point 2 years ago

Being alpha bucks helps with plate spinning as well. You can give a women a sense of security and commitment without actual commitment and spin 'plates' for years, sometimes. It won't help with ONS, but it helps with retention.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

Spinning plates sounds like a better prospect than several ONS. The supply is reoccurring. I'm ok with this.

[-] notmyusualreddit 1 Point 2 years ago

I have played this card before, being a top salesperson in the country for my industry, thus being able to talk to women and also had good money, while being lucky with genetics. It's honestly still pretty annoying once you are red pill aware. You realize that you aren't TRUE alpha fucks. You're never sure if they'd still be there if you didn't have the bucks behind it. I really did start hating myself because I hadn't internalized it yet well enough and was still winning them over with betabux bullshit, even though I was CLOSE to alphafucks. I think they eventually saw through it. Don't use the bucks as a crutch.

[-] aguy01 1 Point 2 years ago

Do you really give a shit? Would you feel more validated if you were born with a bigger dick? At least you worked for your money. You 'deserve' the attention more than a Chad who just stumbles his way into pussy with genetics and a role model. If the women aren't giving the right sexual response it's because your alpha isn't alpha. Dan Bilzerian has fuck loads of money and would be a great beta bux but his personality is too alpha.

[-] Asoka11111 3 Points 2 years ago

If you're really struggling with this, research and strive to embody the brogrammer archetype. True, the tech scene has expanded to (somewhat forcibly) include women, but you know what else it brought? Alpha males. No longer can programming be classified as an interest/hobby/obsession solely for the meek.

As someone who is also delving into this, FUCKING LIFT. Some other things you can do:

Make sure to do some reading on social dynamics. The sidebar is the bar minimum, but head over to redpillbooks for further reading.

Of course, redpillcomedy and redpillmedia exist for leisure time, but it is preferable if you spend that time either honing your craft to esoteric levels or engaging in other masculine interests.

To keep it simple, just actively strive to break the beta STEM male archetype that a lot of people (especially girls) will try to box you into as an effort to be intellectually efficient (read:lazy).

[-] ghostCanape 2 Points 2 years ago

I can definitely relate to the question as a fellow ex-homeschooler in IT. Being a bit older than OP, programming wasn't quite yet 'cool' in the way it has now become when I was in university.

However as I moved into the real world and gained responsibilities, I found that selling programming as a creative profession that does important shit became notably easier. Improved physical fitness certainly helped. Business networking and continued partying expanded on the social skills honed by my time as an active Fraternity member. And it didn't hurt that I dressed and talked like a graphic designer, rather than some Bucky Beta nerd.

In other words, I had become a brogrammer. If you'd like an archetypal answer to your question, this is the one. Any difficulties I've had with the opposite sex since I first approximated it have been strictly due to my game or personal incompatibility, literally never once my profession. Moreover, I've absolutely been able to use my ability to discuss aspects of my profession coherently as a demonstration of my intelligence or influence without projecting incongruence since I never cover up that I'm a bit nerdy.

My advice to you would be to loosen up about it a little bit and acknowledge that your nerdery is the source of your worldly influence. Clearly you've got other things going on in your life, so talk about those instead. "Oh, computers? Those are just how I make my piles of money. Now, can I freshen your drink?" You may also find investigating the Sigma archetype worthwhile. I realized that being a natural Sigma rather than the Beta stereotype of the profession or a Alpha better explained my outlook and attitude, including my ability to project low-level Dark Triad.

Feel free to DM me, I'm always open to advising juniors.

[-] H42 1 Point 2 years ago

The less specific you are about what you do, the better. Be careful to avoid causing her perception to shoehorn you into perceived "provider role". Just joke about what you do for a living in an oblique way.

[-] alpha-game 1 Point 2 years ago

i honestly would worry about it, and would focus more on being able to join the 1K club for lifting.

How much can you squat? How much can you deadlift? How much can you bench?

By virtue of being a masculine man, you can have a super technical hobby, and that makes you a walking juxtaposition. But don't be concerned or embarrassed about this, walking juxtapositions confuse the hamster, and it makes the pussy tingle.

[-] notmyusualreddit 1 Point 2 years ago

You mentioned things from a few angles. First off, I also recommend you get a motorcycle. It's cheap, and if you respect it, safe enough. For $2k you can get a grungy but cool bike. For $5k you can get a bike that looks brand new. There is nothing as cool as not having to worry about parking. And showing girls the city on a bike is very different than seeing it from a car. A bike ride is a cool date on its own. You get to teach them things. You make fun of them for not knowing how to strap the helmet tight. You do it for them which amounts to pretty much holding their face with your hands close to their neck. At that point they all want to kiss you soon after the helmets are off. (imagine the equivalent of a woman tying a tie for you) (EDIT: you could even get a dualsport thats half dirt bike, and combine it with a real hobby of going off the beaten path and camping and all that)

With regarding your job, go 'App Developer' if you can BS your way around what apps. OR, go Project Manager and talk about you spend your days trying to get people as good as you were. Whatever.

What area you from? In the SF Bay Area everyone knows exactly what you do because theyve heard about it form 99 other people. You cant spin it too much because their friends have told them about the industry, or hell, even they are in it. Somewhere random, you might as well make up an entire fake job around it.

Also, depending on your age, I think youll find women respect freedom a lot more than high salary. Since you want to be dating younger girls anyway I hope, they much rather date a guy that makes 'good' money and can do whatever he wants almost anytime he wants, vs a guy that makes great money but is stuck at work 6 days a week and always talking about how tired he is and is at the mercy of his boss slave driver.

[-] Microfuzz 1 Point 2 years ago

I've got 2 suggestions.

One: kick ass at your job. Regardless of your field, if you are an ass kicking, name-taking, meeting leading, opportunity taking kinda guy, men and women alike will respect you. Don't be the douchy fake guy looking to "get ahead", just be the best at what you do and take opportunities when they come to you. Also, use your skills to volunteer in the community. Coding camps, makerspaces, robotics workshops, etc. etc.

Two: women love men who can build, fix, solve problems, and do stuff they can't. Think sexy mechanic, not nerdy computer geek. Take pride in your skills and demonstrate that you're a knowledgeable son-of-a-bitch. Don't go building her an entire PC on the third date, but take opportunities to help her with small things. If you're not a grovelling wimp about it she'll love it, especially if you try to teach her to fix it herself instead of you doing all the work.

[-] Hunter2isit 1 Point 2 years ago

A program architect at google makes $150,000 A MONTH I am sure you can find a way and not be a BB

[-] 3rt41 1 Point 2 years ago

Dig into the character of Joe Mc Millan from the show "Halt and catch fire"

[-] ThrowingMyslfOutther 1 Point 2 years ago

My question: Any ideas for masculinizing programming and being a male programmer in the modern era?

[Serious] Why?

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

It repels conversations and doesn't get the ladies wet like being a tattoo artist would.

[-] fx-115es 1 Point 2 years ago

Who cares?

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

I want to maximize my efforts.

[-] fx-115es 1 Point 2 years ago

what is your goal?

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

Become better at game and have more options with women. Get in shape. Be happy with my life.

[-] fx-115es 1 Point 2 years ago

why do you think, that being popular among bitches could contribute to your happiness?

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

I don't think that. At all. Far far from.

[-] ThrowingMyslfOutther 1 Point 2 years ago

That's my point. I wouldn't bring it up. And if asked, I'd just say, I can't tell you. And I've had a "can't tell you coding job before", so I know that works.

Seriously, it's really no one's business unless you are about to co-mingle money.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

Gotcha. I'll do this.

[-] ScottRikkard 1 Point 2 years ago

I dont think it's as important as you think it is. Careers are not relevant until you turn around 25 and become a prospect for beta buxing a bitch. And even then never brag about your income or disclose it to anyone especially women.

What is important with women are appearances. If you dress well, act well (prizing yourself above everything), you will be alright.

I never thought programming is considered not - masculine. It's a great paying career and as a way of thinking it's even more awesome. It seems to me you are searching for your style, when you find it, profession will not matter.

You are still in an age bracket where sex comes easy with a right attitude even if you're a junky.

[-] redpilldude 1 Point 2 years ago

Dude, who gives a shit that you're into programming?

Just lift, get ripped, and learn game. Become an Alpha.

If you become Chad Thundercock, women won't give a shit that you're a programmer.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

Or I could learn how to sell my intellectual career correctly too

[-] redpilldude 1 Point 2 years ago

Dude, read the fucking sidebar. Women are not attracted to programmers. They're attracted to ripped Alphas, such as football players.

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

No shit hence why I made this post. Did you read it?

[-] kireol 1 Point 2 years ago

Women will care more about your income and your status in your job, way more than what you actually do. Dont focus so much on being a "programmer". Don't bring up in conversation how much you make or your status. But dance around that you are a man of power in your work.

[-] fx-115es 0 Points 2 years ago

Cars are for bitches. Try motorcycles

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

Because I can transport my belongings on a motorcycle. Makes sense.

[-] fx-115es 0 Points 2 years ago

No space for baby seat for sure

[-] polyethene -1 Point 2 years ago

Call yourself an app developer not a programmer, and definitely not a computer scientist or software engineer

[-] PliskinRed 6 Points 2 years ago

Call yourself an app developer not a programmer, definitely not a computer scientist or software engineer

I'm a total noob, so I could be talking shit here:

I'm 6'1", I lift and am 'conventionally good looking'. When girls ask what I do I usually go with something like: "I'm a computer geek..." grin "Can't you tell?/Isn't it obvious?"

I think this is one of those things you should 'own' rather than try to mask/hide.

To me, this is kinda like a cross between 'Amused Mastery' and 'Agree and Amplify'?


Edit: for readability

[-] polyethene 1 Point 2 years ago

The problem is most people especially women don't understand computer geeks the way we do, they typically picture a neckbeard fedora wearing overweight guy with cheetos dust on his shirt who plays World of Warcraft.

So it helps to use descriptive language which is more familiar. Everyone knows what apps are and calling yourself a developer sounds more respectable. I often throw in the fact that I built my own tech startup (a big DHV) also, which highlights my creative and energetic character.

Amused Mastery and Agree & Amplify are advanced techniques which are more suitable for plates/LTRs not first interactions, which should primarily focus on DHVs.

[-] PliskinRed 5 Points 2 years ago

Thanks for your response.

they typically picture a neckbeard fedora wearing overweight guy[1] with cheetos dust on his shirt who plays World of Warcraft.

Which is exactly why I follow up with the grin and "Can't you tell?" line.

They already have that picture in their mind... yet right in front of them is a decent looking, well presented guy.. who is giving them his time. Kinda fucks with them a little, no?

[-] tag2man 1 Point 2 years ago

It's still a little self deprecating. My 2c

[-] awalt_cupcake 1 Point 2 years ago

This. As much as I've been told self-deprecation should be attractive in a humorous manner, it has always backfired. Being cocky is the surefire road.

[-] TitsAndWhiskey 1 Point 2 years ago

That's what I do. Kind of a joke between me and my buddies. Usually one will jump in and say "he's a computer nerd"

[-] xwm 1 Point 2 years ago

I do what I do and I'm proud of it, why the hell should I care what other people think about a respectable well paying position that I enjoy doing

[-] polyethene 1 Point 2 years ago

That's your choice, nobody is forcing you to be socially integrated.

[-] Gamezob -1 Point 2 years ago

Makes lots and lots of money