I don't feel comfortable doing this. My only response to her text so far is 'lol' She said that she plans on getting naked but won't go without me for safety reasons.
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shooter212 10y ago
I think if you're confident in your body, then why not...
But I have a related question for some of you. What is the point of a nude beach besides exhibitionism and voyeurism? This idea that it's no big deal, "nobody is even looking at other people," etc... then why are you there?
People check each other out and guys hit on girls at the regular beach, so how could removing the swimsuits possibly reduce this? I'm sure the nonchalant, indifferent attitude that some of you describe is seen as the "cultured" approach, but to me it sounds like something that would not be out of place in a feminist nude beach rule book: no ogling, no hitting on girls, this place is strictly non-sexual.
It's like that rationalizing girls do when they go to the club, "I'm not looking to hookup or meet anybody I just love to dance..." You can dance at home for free. "Stop looking at my tits, my eyes are up here..." You chose to display all that cleavage exactly so that guys would look. "I just want to go to the nude beach so I won't have tan lines..." Lay out in your back yard then or hit up a tanning salon.
TL;DR - It doesn't make sense to me to say the point of a nude beach is anything other than exhibitionism and voyeurism. Which is fine by me, I'd probably like to go to one... but it would be explicitly for that purpose. I won't pretend to be indifferent to naked girls rubbing themselves with lotion! lol
clear-sight 10y ago
Dump her, and find a girl who doesn't act like a slag.
drqxx 10y ago
Go dont be a pussy. She wants you to join her. Who cares everyone else is naked.
aguy01 10y ago
This should help you relax
Tell her you can't wait to see all the naked hotties. Bonus points if you get a shameless boner.
vandaalen 10y ago
Why does she want to go there? Why do you have issues with it?
Being German I don't really understand the problem since being naked when going to the sauna is mandatory and there are many naked beaches and even whole camping parks or special days at public swimming baths reserved for going fully naked.
I personally wouldn't have any problem with that because swimming with my balls floating free must be one of the best feelings there are.
I_Cum_Blood_666 10y ago
As an American who's sat in German saunas with an SO, I can second this. It's not awkward at all because everyone else is naked too and they're strangers. Don't worry... there's going to be a massive orgy on the beach just because some people see your GF naked. That being said, if you don't want to do it, then don't. You're a grown ass man. Do what you want.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
She wants to go because I like the outdoors/parks and swimming and we stuff like that often. I like my balls floating freely as much as the next guy, but my issue is being naked in public. It is something neither of us have any experience in. I feel that I will not enjoy it. Hell, she may not enjoy it either once we are there.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
It's a different culture. I went to a nude beach once and after 10 minutes felt like it was normal. Nobody stared at my tits. Out of the 200 or so people who were there, only one guy was a creep and nobody in the nude community condoned his behavior. Chances are it will be the same wherever you go. If clothing is optional, keep your suit on. Nobody says you have to take it off. You probably won't be the only one.
Edit: just make sure you wear A LOT of sunscreen...things that don't see the light of day for many years tend to be prone to instant sun poisoning. Please, please, wear sunscreen.
vandaalen 10y ago
There is no way to find out if you don't try it.
Remember that everybody else will be naked too and it's therefore no big deal. The majority also isn't there to see other naked people but to enjoy themselves. There always exceptions of course.
But be prepared to see some ugly people there. Landwhales, grannies, etc. pp.
captshady 10y ago
Entertain the idea that she just wants to enjoy being naked in nature. It might be the case.
Walktillyoucrawl 10y ago
Sounds to me like you are a little insecure. You should work on this before trying to place blame on someone else
derp_pills 10y ago
Here are two things to consider:
She shouldn't make you do something you aren't comfortable with. She can't make you do anything you don't want to do, right?
Also know that this may establish some precedence in the relationship.
If not going is truly a big deal to you then you need to be prepared to tell her to go by herself. You can say 'no' to her going, but consider how you will react if she goes solo against your desires.
DO NOT make this into some sort of beta trade ("If I do this for you then you do ___ for me"). Weak.
If you have abundance you can always next her. If you don't have that mentality then you aren't RP and this paradigm won't work for you.
Recommendation:
Maintain frame, whatever you decide to do. This shouldn't faze you. Nothing fazes you.
Go to the beach. You're confident in yourself, right? You've been naked in front of plenty of chicks before (you may want to slip that into the conversation when you say 'yes' to going). Dudes shouldn't be an issue since they shouldn't be looking at you anyways except to admire your alpha poise.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
I appreciate the lengthy response. No it truly doesn't faze me in the slightest. I am not scared to next her at all and she knows it without me ever having to say the words. I am confident in my own skin always, I basically deflected the conversation so I could make a gameplan. I never let her make me doing anything I don't want to do and she knows not to even try. Maintaining frame and being rock solid is second nature to me. I had no intentions of telling her 'no' to going alone as she has stated her fear of going without me. I have my reservations about the whole idea because as much as I love how she looks naked, as do other men, I don't like that she is just so carefree about getting naked in front of strangers. If that makes sense? She can never get a read on me and how I am feeling in almost all situations, but her enthusiasm for wanting to go has me questioning her as LTR material. This is 3 weeks away. Anymore input?
james_fapfield 10y ago
If you don't like her being naked in front of other guys, tell her that.
derp_pills 10y ago
The issue is that you don't like how carefree she is about getting naked in front of people at a nude beach and it makes you question whether she is LTR material.
For something this specific and this much of a personal preference only you can determine whether it's an LTR deal breaker.
theozoph 10y ago
Are nudist camps/beaches associated with loose morals in the USA? Because in Europe, apart from a few very select places (like Le Cap d'Agde in France), they're really not.
I woudn't think anything of a GF asking me to go to a nudist beach. Why are you putting this in the "cons" column?
aguy01 10y ago
Going nude to a nude beach for recreation is considered a slutty indulgence in the US. Attractive women rarely go there, except those looking for attention.
gg_s 10y ago
Americans are uptight about public nudity in general. American TV is a perfect example. Gratuitous violence is standard fare but an exposed nipple almost canceled the Super Bowl.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
It is/was in the cons column because of the uncertainty of it all. I like doing all sorts of new things with her, this is actually small potatoes to some of the stuff we do in the bedroom. I'm just split 50/50 because neither of us have done anything like this. I wouldn't feel good if I say "yeah let's go!" and then she has a bad time, ya know? There are quite a few places throughout the US that nudist camps/beaches are common.
[deleted] 10y ago
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mr_kat 10y ago
I don't see why you'd have any more shit tests than usual. Man you Americans are so conservative.
asd1100 10y ago
I'm Eastern European. In general new experiences are fertile ground for doubt to set in, and when that happens her instinct is to push your boundaries.
aguy01 10y ago
Never heard that before. I've noticed this now that you mention it. That's a great observation.
[deleted] 10y ago
As far as I know, people don't try to pick up girls at nude beaches.
thepillwastaken 10y ago
Ive gone. Its fine. Most people there were older and looked at my girl friend a lot, which was weird, but whatever.
Honestly didn't care about being naked in front of people after a while.
Being naked in the ocean is pretty awesome, but also felt like my cock was bait for a fish. lol. That was the most anxiety I felt the whole time, so all in all pretty much nothing but a unique experience.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
Haha yeah I was thinking the swimming part would be the most pleasant part until you said that. I think if we bring some beers and just relax it would be fun.
theozoph 10y ago
You're apparently not comfortable with your own body, and/or insecure about letting other people see your girl naked. In both cases it's something you should want to work on.
One is lack of self-confidence, to be conquered by getting your ass to the gym and building a body you're proud of.
The other is insecurity in your ability to keep your girl from other suitors, which means your frame is weak with her. You fear losing her, you fear you're not good enough to keep her, you're too invested in her and therefore in the weaker position in the relationship. Go over to TRP, read sidebar material, and become a stronger version of yourself.
As to the current situation you're in, propose something better you're more comfortable with (mountain climbing, rafting, tree surfing), and tell her you're not interested in spending your free time being eye-raped by grannies and their floppy tits.
But work on your hang-ups, and next year propose to go to the nude beach yourself. If she is the one reluctant to let other girls ogle you then, you'll have changed the dynamics of the relationship in your favor.
pheonixignition 10y ago
No, it has nothing to do with insecurity about other suitors. How many posts do you guys screen shot here all the time of "Girl asks if she can get naked, predictable break up happens blah blah blah." Its a legit thing to say no in these instances. I'd say, no fucking go depending on where and how.
theozoph 10y ago
She's not asking to dance on a pole, post naked pictures on the Net, or become a cam girl, she's asking that they go as a couple to a place where everyone is naked. People in nudism camps do not ogle you, whistle at you or throw money at you for being naked and hot. Believe it or not, mostly they ignore you, practice sports, sunbathe and fuck their SO. Not a bad way to spend your summer.
Maybe she's into it because she thinks of it as an adventurous thing they could do together, maybe she wants to have that perfect tan, or maybe she wants the bragging rights with her girlfriends for having gone outside her zone of comfort, who knows?
But whatever her reasons, it's not to flaunt her bits at other men or shit-test OP.
It's obviously OP who feels discomfort and either he's making the same assumptions as you which shows insecurity through paranoia (she's looking for someone else!), or he's uncomfortable with exposing himself even in a safe environment (nudists are not judgmental, if what I've seen is any indication), which indicates body image problems and fear of comparisons.
My advice stand : postpone nudist beach, and resolve underlying insecurities.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
Thanks for saying that. She most definitely is not wanting to flaunt her body to meet other men or trying to shit test me. She sees it as a new experience to do together. She feels safe with me and figures I'm the outdoor adventurous type, so why not. I have read everything there is on TRP pill for over a year, so I have my game and frame with her locked down. She does what I want, when I want her to. I am leaning towards going because we are very sexual and from the responses here it doesn't seem like a big deal...all I wanted was to hear some advice.
mr_kat 10y ago
Nude beaches are super pleasant. Is it a full nude or more clothing optional? If it's clothing optional, you could still wear trunks.
The nude beach here in Vancouver is clothing optional. Most women are topless only. Some are full nude. The whole thing is pretty non sexual. I wouldn't worry about it. Go, you'll probably have a good time.
4RedPillUseOnly 10y ago
You can be fully nude or wear clothing. It doesn't matter.
pheonixignition 10y ago
I don't know about other beaches, but in CA, from all the stories I hear from people its usually old guys and ugly women. It'd be a more of a boon for her, but that's just my two cents.
LukeMooney 10y ago
Just say no. Hold frame. If she kicks up a real fuss about it, MASSIVE RED FLAG - downgrade to plate or soft next.
LukeMooney 10y ago
Are you lot insane??? who is down voting this, and why???