If i am with a girl who in the past has mentioned having a bf, but things start to escalate between us, what is the best response if she drops the line "I have a boyfriend"?
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oldredder 10y ago
"I don't see him"
or
"so you want me to call him to join in? That's new... (sort of)..."
tyrannosaurus_J 10y ago
My go to is an immediate "oh so when's the wedding?" Usually the shock of that question will help loosen the mood and show how serious she is about her SO or if she's just using it as an excuse to get you to fuck off.
thenotorious88 10y ago
best is saying "Thats a shame" while looking her in the eyes with a shit eating grin
bm2l 10y ago
Me too
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
blackhornatnight 10y ago
Her: "He's at rugby practice. He's captain of the team."
You: <gulp>
Gotta be careful if you know nothing about the guy. You could look like a chump in that situation if you act too arrogant without knowing shit about him. You're going to look hella thirsty and hella creepy.
zyk0s 10y ago
I think you're missing the point. He might be at a martial arts tournament, the important part is that she is there, flirting with men behind his back. The only thing to check for is her responsiveness, and to figure out if she really wants to branch swing or is trying to set you up for a fight to relish in the drama.
cruyff8 10y ago
Rugby being the game of barbarians, played by gentlemen, you mean? I play football, the game of gentlemen, played by barbarians; guess he should be careful.
Espada18 10y ago
Judging from your choice of username, I bet you're quite good. Huge fan?
cruyff8 10y ago
I used to be good, before I injured my knee, but remain a pretty big fan.
T_H_E_T_R_U_T_H 10y ago
I always say I have a don't ask, don't tell policy when it comes to boyfriends
favours_of_the_moon 10y ago
Ask if he's the jealous type.
ToddSD 10y ago
"So do I"
seedang 10y ago
"What's that have to do with me?"
BrutusVeritas 10y ago
Yeah that is my go-to as well
DaftOdyssey 10y ago
I usually go with '' Don't worry, I'm not the jealous type. ''
sehns 10y ago
"Damn, i’ve only known you x mins/hrs and already you're telling me your problems."
wakethfkupneo 10y ago
Yes, her having a boyfriend is exactly the reason why she's grinding her ass against your crotch and giggling at every sentence of yours that remotely resembles a joke. Understand that young girls (while still young and excluding landwhales) have options and crave commitment ... really, they have it easy when it comes to luring a guy into exclusive relationship. It's a given. Always assume she has a boyfriend unless you know from outer sources that she's just broken up no longer than few days ago.
What is really happening here is that, yes, it's a test of your alphaness. But not only that. It is also her asking you to take responsibility for what's about to happen ("it's not my fault ... one thing led to another"), to give her hamster easy time justifying cheating and give her guarantees that you know how to keep your mouth shut i.e. that you know the rules of how the fuckbuddy game is played. As highly dependent creature by design, her reputation is her top priority, (excluding uber sluts) and even top alphas will end the night with only dicks in their hands if they push too hard while her reputation is at stake. These are the goals you must accomplish.
Just giving random A&A answer, while serviceable, might be hit or miss. One elegant response that accomplishes all the goals is "Good! He'll listen to your emotional problems and take you to romantic dinners, while I'll use you for sex/fun/<whatever you find appropriate that alludes to sex>". You get the idea.
Of course, always use common sense. If you start hitting on her and get the unemotional "I have a BF" response, she's basically telling you to fuck off. That's a simple concept but some guys still don't get it. But if things are escalating, like in your case - she's telling you the truth and it means one of two things: 1) you have quality mix of alpha/beta traits and she's looking to upgrade (aka branch-swinging) or 2) she wants pure alpha fucks, no strings attached. Either way, you should play the game by the rules: pass the shit test, 'take responsibility', 'sign the NDA' and it's game on.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
Humankeg 10y ago
Yea, short and sweet, not long and drawn out responses (cringe worthy).
gu4po 10y ago
"Only one?"
[deleted] 10y ago
I have a Rottweiler, oh I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter
sparta126 10y ago
"Me too"
Oh_FuFu 10y ago
"Me too" Her: "what?" "Oh I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter"
Espada18 10y ago
Y-you too.
bubbleki 10y ago
" What? I don't want to be your boyfriend." Stolen from Johnny Maddick.
prodigyx 10y ago
"Me too, but he doesn't know I'm straight so this will have to be our secret" then continue escalating.
i3unneh 10y ago
Say "okay see ya" and don't enable a cheating whore.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm with you. If they're going to cheat, they will. But it doesn't have to be with me.
Logically I don't owe every random guy loyalty. But I keep picturing myself in his position.
But to each their own.
2mars 10y ago
She's going to cheat weather is with op or not. You don't make a woman cheat she chooses.
GRRMkills 10y ago
Although, if she finds a man with higher SMV she will swing to him if the new guy wants her and newGuySMV - boyfriendSMV > socialPenaltyForWhores. The only difference between girls is how high they set the social penalty, which is effectively the difference in SMV required to cheat. All women will cheat given the right set of circumstances, they do not exactly "choose". AWALT.
The reason why I say this is because if the girl has a man who she views as high SMV, it is reasonable to conclude that she would probably not cheat on him. However, along comes Mr. Redpiller who lifts, has ambitions and a career, knows how to handle shit tests, etc. His SMV is through the roof. Will she cheat with him? Almost definitely if he pushes for it. Would she cheat if he didn't come along and meet her? Probably not, since she already had a man she thought of as high SMV.
What I'm saying is yes, you certainly can make a woman cheat who would probably not cheat otherwise.
i3unneh 10y ago
'Enable' means just that. Yes she will cheat anyway but if no one allows her to, she won't. You're giving her power.
BhiQ 10y ago
That's not the world we live in.
RedPillAccount69 10y ago
Something tells me you don't get much pussy.
i3unneh 10y ago
Says the one who made an actual account specifically for browsing and commenting on the red pill in secret because he is too scared of what people will think of him.
RedPillAccount69 10y ago
total non-sequitur.
NotQuiteRedPill 10y ago
"I'm not tryin' to hear that, see..."
Or
"What's your man got to do with me?"
Lyrics. They're just lyrics. :P
brujon 10y ago
"I won't tell if you don't."
"Don't worry baby, i'm not jealous."
"I know. kisses passionately"
"I'm so going to steal you for myself."
"What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel."
blackhornatnight 10y ago
Everyone assumes that her bf is some beta-bux. I don't understand that assumption in these threads. For all we know the guy could be Chad Thundercock, and if you drop any of those lines you're going to look like a thirsty creep because she is already getting the passion and excitement she wants from the relationship with Chad. Then you will be known in her circles as the thirsty-creepy dude.
"OMG, I was having coffee with OP, and I said I was dating Chad, and all of a sudden he said, I know, with a creepy grin on his face, and he tried to KISS ME. GROSS!"
oldredder 10y ago
no, if her BF is chad thundercock she's on his cock and not even telling you.
Or... last time I fucked a girl who had her own Chad Thundercock he was there too and since we were bros I took her pussy while she blew him. Good times all around. Bros know how to respect each other over fun times like xbox, sharing a slut or a pitcher of beer.
blackhornatnight 10y ago
If I fucked my friend's girlfriend I'm pretty sure he would punch me in the face, but if your bro consented to that, more power to you brotha'.
oldredder 10y ago
2 different bros consented to it in 2 different situations.
One of those girls I want another taste of. She's since learned how to do midair acrobatics with silk ropes and that means she's gotta have skill in the sheets like never before. Fit as fuck.
brujon 10y ago
Then you know what you do? You keep those responses in your mind and use them when the timing is right. Did you not get the memo about "things start to escalate"? That's right there on the OP? OP asks for good responses, i give great responses. When and how to use them, that's something to figure out in a case by case scenario. Do note that i didn't say when or how to use them, so you're just nitpicking.
zyk0s 10y ago
If the girl is in a happy relationship, wtf is she doing flirting alone with OP? Unless she's setting him up for a cock fight, this is just a shit test like any other, maybe just a bit stronger because she's ready to branch swing.
The fact the girl invoked the boyfriend excuse means she's fully aware that OP is trying to get in her pants. If she wasn't interested, she would have mentioned the bf and then got the hell out immediately.
blackhornatnight 10y ago
We don't know that she is flirting with OP. OP says "what if" it escalates. I take that to mean it hasn't escalated yet. For all we know, OP is just a beta orbiter.
zyk0s 10y ago
In the comments, he mentions they've been hanging out alone. Still possible OP is orbiting and not telling the truth, but that's on him.
blackhornatnight 10y ago
OP is a man of few words apparently. Kind of hard to give him advice when he doesn't respond to anyone in his own thread.
rangamatchstick 10y ago
"Sure you do" as in "thats cute and I call bullshit".
blackhornatnight 10y ago
What kind of escalation are you talking about? You could be misinterpreting her. Give us some details.
EliteDragonSlayer 10y ago
I think its pretty obvious what type of escalation I'm talking about
blackhornatnight 10y ago
My bad. I thought things had already started to escalate. You're asking a hypothetical.
I guess a follow up is: why are you still hanging around this girl if things haven't even escalated yet? It seems like you could be making more progress with someone else who doesn't have a BF.
EliteDragonSlayer 10y ago
This is a hypothetical just so i can be prepared for similar situations that i could run into
blackhornatnight 10y ago
I wouldn't rely on canned one liners, personally. If she does say she has a bf, you just have to act like you don't care. What you say isn't terribly important. You have the option of not saying anything. Don't ever feel like you're obligated to respond to people, unless you're in front of a judge. I'd define what I'd like to do with this girl, and then go from there. I wouldn't be hanging out with a girl just to see where it goes potentially, especially if she has a bf. If you want to try and sleep with her, go ahead, just maintain that frame - fun, exciting, confident, and care-free guy who isn't going to say a thing to anyone - and escalate with her. Don't wait for the moment to happen. You have to make it happen.
secret_barber 10y ago
Are you "with" her in an elevator ...on a dance floor ...in a bed?
EliteDragonSlayer 10y ago
Hanging out alone
Mike29401 10y ago
"Bring him with you, I can fuck him second while you watch" is my go-to line.
Cyralea 10y ago
"That's fine, you could use an upgrade"
Or better yet, ignore it altogether.
K3R3G3 10y ago
Well, I don't see him here...
ThatRedPiller 10y ago
'So?'
Seriously, if shit's escalating, it's really, really not that important to her. It's basically just some LMR. If you're cool with getting with a taken girl, then just dismiss it and power through - it doesn't matter.
If you're not, then just politely tell her to GTFO and then you can go find somebody else. Shit, you just almost 'stole' a chick from another guy. Pat yourself on the back, player.
ShekelBanker 10y ago
Had a similar situation like OP which I played the same way as you have written in this comment of yours. There is this girl which is in her early 20s, confirmed virgin, but at one point when I tried to escalate (while talking to her I had no idea she was with someone) she mentioned that she has this "ex that can never get over him", so she wanted to go back to him. Being a TRPer I smelled the bullshit, not only because of the things I know and read, but because this ex story has a high degree of unreliability: scouring through her social media I found no pics of him, no info, no cheesy messages that could hint to anything, not to mention that she moved in the country a bit over 6 months ago, not to mention that even if her parents are divorced (for a little under 6 years) she lived with her dad, which is a hardline conservative that I believe he can beat the shit out of any guy who looks to trick his girl into sex, even more since she's a virgin, and where I live ALL want that.
Since I found nothing on the ex, I can reliably assume that, since he's also in his low-20s he's without a doubt blue-pill and naive. Without a doubt he doesn't know about me, and if he does he wouldn't know of the fact that I tried to escalate with his ex.
Any advice would be appreciated, and just to note, without any sort of bias this girl can be programmed into either very long LTR material or even wife material, because she presents the signs that I haven't seen in anyone else until now: untainted by feminist/SJW cancer, lives and wants to continue living a simple life, likes cooking/housework (but studies marketing at uni) and, most importantly, not a CC bouncer, which is why this is one of the very few cases where I pay a lot of attention to this girl (but without her knowing it so I don't come off as clingy). ♂
ThatRedPiller 10y ago
Honestly, if I were you, I'd post this in its own thread. Could do with a few more details about the relationship (as in, if there is one & if there is, how long has it been going on, etc). It's always is useful to get the views of as many people as possible.
My gut reaction would probably be something like 'let me help you try [to get over him]' with a playful tone, or something along those lines. If she giggles or seems satisfied with that, escalate without another word. If not, play it carefully - if she's a virgin, it might be easy to give off the feeling that you just want sex, which makes dread/silence risky. I've never really been in a situation quite like that and am not particularly brilliant when it comes to trying to build LTR's - if somebody gives me more hassle than I can be bothered to deal with, I generally just next them. However, if this girl is as good as you say she is and is genuine LTR material, I'll assume that's not something you're willing to do.
ShekelBanker 10y ago
Spot on, I'm not trying to hint anything at sex (been so many times years on end without any, somewhat got used to it) and so I've made up a very well-laid plan on things to do/things to not do/things that should be done once certain conditions are met.
At this moment, we're currently just friends but we both expressed interest for a relationship; the only problem comes from her side and "her ex that can't get over him", so, like even you said, I had a similar gut reaction, but I'd with an addition of marketing myself as the much better option, one to play it safe in case she did, and two, why the hell not be like I am.
ParfaitPubes 10y ago
You seem like the kind of girl that could use two.
joe_bruised_ego 10y ago
"He sounds hot"
"How cute, you're in love."
"That's nice."
"Good for you."
"He sounds like a keeper"
WishfulTraveler 10y ago
Grab her hand and ask her if she's married. If she says yes or if she has a boyfriend ask her "how long have you had that headache?"
Espada18 10y ago
"And?.." or "So?.." tends to put them on their toes and make them feel uncomfortable; one thing I've learnt from interacting with girls is they hate feeling uncomfortable. Answers like that only work if you're outcome independant though, saying otherwise would make you come across as a chump.
speed3_freak 10y ago
Wouldn't you like to upgrade to a manfriend?
muthafuckabra 10y ago
You can leave her alone you thirsty guy. Plenty of fish in the sea, no need to go and make a woman do what got you into this shit in the first place. You can easily do better.
EDIT: You niggas make me laugh, hope every woman you're ever with gets fucked by a guy who looks exactly like you haha.
FinallyRed 10y ago
She isn't yours, it's just your turn. If you think a girl that's considering cheating on her boyfriend wouldn't do it with another guy, you have a lot to learn.
It's a case by case basis, but if you don't know the BF, you have little to lose. If you think it's immoral and couldn't live with yourself, then follow your gut, but that doesn't make it true for OP (doesn't sound like it to me).
muthafuckabra 10y ago
That makes sense.
TitsAndWhiskey 10y ago
I don't bother with these girls any more. If she TELLS YOU she has a boyfriend but keeps pushing up on you, she is a drama whore. You will have to deal with bullshit. She gets off on it.
Fuck that, plenty of others.
speed3_freak 10y ago
If a woman says she has a boyfriend but is showing you interest she is either looking for an upgrade, lying about having a boyfriend, or has some alpha guy banging her who she wishes was her boyfriend. Unless you know this dude, boyfriend doesn't have any claims to a girl. Fiancee or husband, yeah I'll respect your claim, but if your gf is showing me ioi's then you should have done a better job.
muthafuckabra 10y ago
Well said.
balalasaurus 10y ago
Sexual strategy is AMORAL. Why the fuck don't you guys get this already?
If he had qualms about fucking a girl with a bf then his post would be 'how to not feel guilty about getting with a girl with a bf?'
Clearly that's not the issue so stop peddling your morality on to others. Whether or not he wants to fuck a taken girl is an issue for his own conscience.
TreePlusTree 10y ago
Fucking girls with bfs is not a sexual strategy. Not sure how you got that impression.
It's like martial arts. The acts themselves have no morality, but using them against, say, a crippled kid who did nothing wrong, that would be immoral as fuck. And jumping disabled kids would never be considered a martial art, just like fucking a taken woman is not a sexual strategy.
It is not the techniques that hold morality, it's how you choose to use them.
floppymammarygland 10y ago
It's always nigga this and nigga that. NIGGA YOU TRIPPIN!!!
don't be gay
muthafuckabra 10y ago
No sexual strategy is sexual strategy. You can still make the choice who to fuck obviously. Are you a blind, mute man with a dick? If not, then shut up. You just say amoral to make you feel better about your seemingly tough situation you say you need to be amoral about. Life in general is amoral then, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY. WELL, LIFE IS TOUGH BUDDY. OR LIFE GOES ON. Use your brain.
balalasaurus 10y ago
Nigga you don't what the fuck you're talking about. I'd suggest you read the sidebar again. In addition this post
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2qbxpu/sexual_strategy_is_amoraleverything_is_permitted/
should help you. If you want to be helped that is.
redpillthrower 10y ago
Just because some of the dudes say some shit in this subreddit does not mean that it is so. There is all sorts of philosophies on morality, and here on the red pill use a somewhat misleading argument. They say "sexual strategy is amoral", which is true. What that means is the tools and methods and strategy one would employ in their pursuit of sexual conquests is amoral. NOT that banging whoever you want and feel like whenever you want is amoral. Now is banging a random chick who has a boyfriend morally ok? probably not for most people, is it morally grey? probably. But grey does not mean "amoral". The most important advice on this reddit is to question everything and i wish people would follow it more, especially when the real world implications are huge. Even if its morally grey, you can still get your ass kicked for it at the very least, and theres always the chance you know someone that person knows if its a regular club or bar you go to.
balalasaurus 10y ago
That decision is ultimately subjective. To have people come on here and say do this or don't do this misses the point. This askTRP not askmorality. We can't make the decision for you. We can only tell you what to do from an RP perspective. What you do is on you.
muthafuckabra 10y ago
I read what I like. I say what I like. You're right, you can think what you think too. Shouldn't have tried to change your mind, the fault was not just letting you learn naturally.
edit. words.
balalasaurus 10y ago
Ok
Mastros34 10y ago
While redpill is amoral I will say going after a girl with a boyfriend can cause two problems. 1. If she gets caught she is more likely to use the "he raped me" to absolve her of guilt. 2. If you start to get feelings for her, or she has all the qualities you want you'll never fully feel trusted if you go a relationship route (if she'll cheat with you she'll cheat on you).
balalasaurus 10y ago
I'm not making the claim that doing such a thing will not have consequences. But those consequences are up to the actor to weigh. TRP doesn't make that decision for you. It simply gives you the tools to decide what action to take. What you do is entirely on you. Not for someone to tell you "this is right" or "this is wrong".
The-Pussy-Whisperer 10y ago
Life isn't so black and white. lol.
Plenty of people who have cheated in one relationship never cheat in subsequent ones. You have no idea what's going on in these people's lives.
The relationship between the girl and her bf (obviously a beta if she's fixing to cheat, given she's relatively sane) might be shit. If the bf is on the way out, she's likely just branch swinging. AWALT, remember?
If both the OP and this girl fuck, then they have justified it to themselves. OP should take precautions against day-after-regret (texting after the act to illicit a "I had a great time being fucked by you" response usually does the trick), but other than that, the feelings of her current bf shouldn't even cross OP's mind, other than thinking about consequences (bf getting aggressive).
It's not immoral for OP to chase and bed her. It is immoral that she cheats on her bf, but that's on her and none of OP's concern.