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- Hide Preview | 32 Comments | submitted 2 years ago by Anomagnus [Post Locked]

And I already feel like breaking. Quick back ground. At 36, I am the fucking poster boy for the blue pill. I have lived my life according to what i was told were the rules. Be a nice guy. So many women would be glad to have you.

I realise now what utter bullshit that is.

I came to the red pill after my latest unicorn/oneitis blew up again. And i NEED to change.

I'm three days in. Started No More Mr Nice Guy. Have started my monk mode. All social media shut down, video games out, and have put a plan together of things I need to do to improve myself physically, intellectually and spiritualy.

But I feel exhausted, like I'm fighting myself constantly. And today, after ignoring my oneitis for just three days, I just want to text her. Not that she would even reply, but i am dying to get scraps from her table.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice. How do you handle that transition from one state to the other? Did anyone else feel like they're fighting with their own mind?

[-] Gadsden1776 26 Points 2 years ago

Hunger is a spice for any meal. When you look back a year from now, it will have been a necessary part of the single greatest event of your life.

[-] BowlOfCandy 5 Points 2 years ago

Hunger is the best spice.

[-] Whisper 20 Points 2 years ago

And today, after ignoring my oneitis for just three days, I just want to text her. Not that she would even reply, but i am dying to get scraps from her table.

She is gone from your life. You will never be with her. You need to accept that now. Nothing I can teach you will undo the way she already thinks of you.

She thinks you are a loser. She holds you in contempt. This is will not change. This will not ever change. You could become dictator-for-life of the solar system, with a harem of a thousand gorgeous women, and an army of billions of fanatical worshippers, and she would just think you are "really good at faking it".

She doesn't love you. She doesn't even like you. You will never get anything worth having from her. What you are hungry for is forever beyond your reach. Reach for something else.

[-] Archwinger 11 Points 2 years ago

Older, dumber people than you figured this shit out much later in life and turned out happier for it.

You can't unlearn this. It's done. There's no going back to being ignorant.

Right now, you're probably angry. Frustrated. This is the fork in the road.

You'll either say fuck it, and devote yourself to a life of beer, porn, video games, and doing as little work as possible to get enough of a paycheck to keep your habits going.

Or you'll say fuck it and devote yourself to a life pursuing physical fitness, professional success, acquiring useful skills and interesting hobbies, and developing the social aptitude to chat up anyone, anywhere, and have a great time with whatever's going on.

One foot ahead of the other. Lift heavy shit, focus on excelling at work. Forget all about women. That'll come later.

[-] The_Turbinator 3 Points 2 years ago

Can you elaborate more on the following point;

You'll either say fuck it, and devote yourself to a life of beer, porn, video games, and doing as little work as possible to get enough of a paycheck to keep your habits going.

That is me right now down to a T. Literally down to the letter.

[-] Archwinger 3 Points 2 years ago

A long time ago, the American dream used to be to arrive at the dock with two dollars in your pocket, knowing six English words, get a job as a janitor in a factory, work your ass off, and in fifteen years after working your way up from the guy who mops the floors, you'd own the place. For a lot of social and economic reasons, things don't happen that way any more, though a lot of people still start at the bottom in a business, learn how it's done, then go out and start their own.

But for most people, the American dream has changed. Instead of working hard as a janitor and crawling your way up, the dream is to find a really easy, cush job as a janitor that still pays okay, but where you can take naps in the supply closet without getting caught. To do as little work as humanly possible while still collecting a decent paycheck, and to stay at that humdrum job for as long as you can without getting found out, living for the weekend, when you can drink beer and play video games all day.

Confronted with a shitty system, I almost can't blame guys for just throwing their arms up and saying, "You know what? Fuck this. Fuck the government, fuck corporate culture, fuck women. I'm just going to subsist on minimal effort, enjoy my creature comforts, and be happy." You can see some of that going on in Japan today. Probably some MGTOW people fit that MO as well. Probably quite a few fat gamers in their dingy apartments and mothers' basements, too.

That's honestly not the Red Pill way. TRP would tell you that if you can be better, you should be better. Not for appearances' sake, not for women, but for yourself. Because there is no truer happiness than being a badass man. When you look awesome, feel awesome, and wake up every morning knowing that you're a badass, that's so much better than beer and video games that you're almost disgusted that you were ever satisfied that way.

[-] AFPJ 9 Points 2 years ago

I'm asking for is advice. How do you handle that transition from one state to the other?

Unless you were already fairly RP to begin with, you don't. Right now you're a bitch. Bitches can't handle the truth nor do they want to; you're a bitch not because you can't be a man but because you've been coddled, lied to and you've never had to be a man before: that necessity, that opportunity, hasn't arisen - our society generally makes sure of it.

You let yourself break back down into primordial ooze, a tadpole, at which point you have material worth sculpting.

[-] Anomagnus 2 Points 2 years ago

I love that video.

[-] vandaalen 3 Points 2 years ago

Did you already start lifting or a full contact martial art? If the answer is "No": There you go.

[-] Anomagnus 6 Points 2 years ago

I've been lifting for four years, and doing muay thai for 2. I can see where you're coming from in your question. If i'm honest, up to now, I have not been taking care of myself for me, I've been doing it for others, and because I believed it was what I was supposed to do to win girls. I recognise that is the wrong attitude

[-] NidStyles 3 Points 2 years ago

When you lift, just think about how mad she made you, and how embarrassed you feel for having been abused. That should help you work that shit out.

[-] intelcorei5 1 Point 2 years ago

Monk mode isn't easy. It's not required. Changing your mentality is required.

Changing yourself overnight is hard for the brain. Especially if you're going cold turkey on several things. Building new habits takes time and concentration.

I'm not trying to talk you out of monk mode. I'm making you aware: you chose a difficult path. It's worth it, and it gets easier.

[-] redpilldude 1 Point 2 years ago

How do you handle that transition from one state to the other?

You need to lift, get ripped, lose weight, and learn game. That will take time. In the meantime, you need to get over your oneitis. You need to realize that women are all the same; there is nothing special about the chick that you were dating.

The best way to get over your oneitis is by going balls-deep in another pussy. Get a FWB or spin plates. Even if you can't get HB9s, you can still get your rocks off with 4s and 5s, for now. After you improve your SMV, you can start gaming HB8s and 9s.

[-] Merwebb 1 Point 2 years ago

Take it easy, you already started the path to your own freedom, and thats way more than you used to have.

Open your mind and accept your flaws, work towards a better you

[-] blacwidonsfw 1 Point 2 years ago

Use the frustration to fuel your lifting. You are lifting right?

[-] Modified_Hackware 1 Point 2 years ago

Don't give what you want the most, for what you want now.

[-] Code_Bordeauxx 1 Point 2 years ago

Changing your mentality is one of the hardest things to do. It certainly can be done, but if you want too much at the same time you'll be disappointed and eventually give up.

Small steps, reasonable goals, clear priorities. For example: merely limit social media and video games at first so you can focus more on ignoring your oneitus. Keep a diary to track your progress and setbacks, be honest with yourself and evaluate.

[-] thefisherman1961 1 Point 2 years ago

How do you handle that transition from one state to the other?

You can't expect immediate results. Right now you're still in the Denial Phase. It's going to take you some time to fully accept it. The only thing you can do to speed up the process is lift and keep reading /r/theredpill.

[-] Authority8 1 Point 2 years ago

it gets much easier once it's all Cemented in your brain. The lifting, the diet, the removal of instant gratification, the realization of all the bullshit society feeds you, the extroverted activities. All of it becomes fun once it's part of who you are.

And you can still enjoy girls one at a time of that is your thing. I am seeing 5 or 6 now but all but one is on back burner (once every other week). Totally falling in love with this one and it's a ton of fun. But at the end of the day, I keep my frame and I know she's AWALT. That's why I have the backups. You can still enjoy the sensation and emotion even though the veil has been lifted.

[-] brokensuitcases 1 Point 2 years ago

I'm 26 and I've been in the anger phase since October.

[-] Frdl 3 Points 2 years ago

I don't think the anger phase ever goes away.

[-] brokensuitcases 1 Point 2 years ago

Never thought of it that way. My point is that I'm younger than the OP and it's been rough. I am the most feminized man on the planet, though.

[-] sodainthewatercup6 1 Point 2 years ago

I'm over 18 months in... You have to make the decision to stick with it every single day. Enjoy.

[-] NidStyles 1 Point 2 years ago

Have you started lifting yet?

[-] dogs-not-cats 1 Point 2 years ago

Life is a one way street, there's no u-turn and there's no going back to re-do things. The good news is you are still above the ground and not old, and you have become enlightened.

You want advice? OK: Don't be mean to yourself. The past is over, you cant change it. It's in the rear view mirror.

Take it slow. 3 days is a start, but this is going to a marathon, not a sprint. It's going to take years, not days.

Continue to read the side bar. Then read it again.

Get in shape. Lift. Eat right.

Dress better.

Lurk in here. A lot.

Observe the red pill in everyday life. Now that you know about it, it's everywhere, you will see it in your friends, co-workers, TV shows, movies, advertisements, random people's comments, etc etc.

Dont talk about the red pill to people outside these subs

Dont go to other subs and raise shit.

Put yourself first. Dont be selfish but do make yourself your #1 priority

[-] SexistFlyingPig 1 Point 2 years ago

So, go out and talk to a different girl. Any girl. Doesn't matter who, just approach and talk to her.

You will discover that the things that made your unicorn so special aren't that unique, or special, or worthy of your everlasting praise.

[-] TRP7203 1 Point 2 years ago

Become disgusted with yourself, hate yourself. That's what I did. It wasn't just that I wanted to change, I HAD to.

[-] fuccboi9000 1 Point 2 years ago

at least you weren't bluepilled til death.

[-] Interversity 1 Point 2 years ago

I found the best way to handle it to be getting really fucking pumped about the new mindset and how much you can improve. If you can see it as the best thing that ever happened to you, you'll find the strength to continue.

[-] thor_away92 1 Point 2 years ago

I feel like I am fighting myself.

You are, keep going. . . .

I'm asking for advice

One thing that is commonly overlooked on TRP is habit breaking. "Hold frame, be a man, blah blah." Okay the reality of all of this is that, your vices (social media, coffee, video games) are a major speed bump and can be difficult to break. Shift your focus on yourself instead of women for now. . .

The reason I am bringing up the habit breaking and its difficulty is this; These are habits that have had years to develop and WILL NOT be easy to break free from. You have stated that you quit all your vices cold turkey and feel exhausted. This is why it's so draining, your normal you has came to a halt and is being reprogrammed. Hence the whole "fighting myself". . . . TRP is a lot like lifting and fighting. Take it easy, take it slow, and learn technique before you go balls to the walls. Otherwise if you don't you're gonna hurt something and be out the game even longer. . TLDR: Take it easy, little steps are okay. And the whole unplugging process won't be so god damn painful. (Progress is progress. Fuck anyone's opposing opinion on that matter)

Also ignore the periods I'm gonna learn how to paragraph break now.

[-] Anomagnus 1 Point 2 years ago

Thanks for all the solid advice guys. A lot of you asked about lifting, and i went back to the gym owner who I am pretty friendly with, and we agreed I was just going through the motions. He's gonna put me under the wing of one of the other gym members who I know is a monster, and we're gonna work on doing things differently.

I'm also switching out the kickboxing for something else, maybe mma. I need to change things.

As for everything else, including the oneitis, and holding my self together, all solid advice. I'm determined to make this work. I dont want to have wasted any more of my 30s. Thanks everyone.

[-] CptJackSwallows 0 Points 2 years ago

get tinder, text game random girls. it will keep you occupied and can help with calibration