There's this guy I know who will always poke fun at girls, playfully insulting them, etc etc. Girls fall for him like crazy (this is a short guy I'm talking about)
I've also noticed for myself personally that when I take a playful jab at girls they have always reacted better than when I'm "friendly" with them. The reaction is always the same - that gasp with a half smile, followed by a giggly tone.
What is it about teasing?
NiftyDolphin 10y ago
As long as you're not overtly insulting them it's entertainment. It's a lightweight dominance engagement(drama) with playfulness, as opposed to a heavier, nastier shit-test or rejection that may escalate.
Think of wrasslin' with a five year-old child, but understand that both sides think that the other is the five year-old.
nicethingyoucanthave 10y ago
I heard a theory that it's because they're used to having guys kowtowing to them, which they perceive as fake. Teasing seems like you're "keeping it real" or whatever the kids say. If you've ever known a girl who had a gay best friend, watch how he talks to her.
If you prefer an evolutionary psychology explanation, it actually takes quite a bit of social competence to tease a girl without outright insulting her. For a social animal like humans, that skill is most certainly useful elsewhere in life, which means there is selective advantage to it, which means it's probably attractive to the sex that does the selecting.
goldenturk 10y ago
Have an upvote, this evol. psych. angle is fresh to me and rings true.
redpillshadow 10y ago
Why does "keeping it real" nonsense get upvoted? Damn close to the default blue pill answer of "just be yourself".
https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/37nh88/why_do_girls_love_being_teased/crockhh Here are some good examples of teasing. None of that is keeping it real. It is playing a game which is arguably the opposite of real and not fake.
Teasing is about being mysterious, keeping them on edge via them not knowing if you are serious or joking.
It is about being above them, portraying higher value than they are. Women are naturally submissive so they react positively to an attitude of "I'm above you, I'm allowed to do that to you".
nicethingyoucanthave 10y ago
"keeping it real" in this context means telling the truth.
"just be yourself" would actually great advice if you're already attractive. The reason it's bad advice is that if someone needs advice, they aren't attractive.
I don't see any other connection between the two.
redpillshadow 10y ago
And that is horrible advice
Renzokuken47 10y ago
Keeping it real is just how they perceive it, not how it actually is.
redpillshadow 10y ago
Well giving we also have that nugget of wisdom in the post I have problems with giving the post the benefit of the doubt.
I for once don't try to become the gay best friend of a girl.
nicethingyoucanthave 10y ago
You're not hearing me.
Men lie to women all the time in an attempt to flatter them. Gay guys are blunt with women because they aren't trying to get in their pants.
I'm not suggesting that you be gay or a best friend. I'm telling you to be blunt and truthful.
SlippyToadsWildRide 10y ago
Because in most of their interactions with men, the men are super nice, agree with everything they say, and try really hard not to piss them off thinking it will get them laid. Women see right through this. The men are basically signaling "your approval is very important to me", which women see as pathetically weak.
Now, along comes a guy who playfully teases them. He stands out from the sea of loser men, since men barely ever talk to her like that. On top of that, being able to effectively tease a woman is a display of social intelligence, which women find attractive. The guy is basically signaling "I don't need your approval, because I know I can get a woman with a similar or higher mate value than you."
Notice I say EFFECTIVELY teasing. You can try and tease a girl and come off as completely incongruent, socially. Have you ever read a woman on Reddit saying "some guy tried to neg me and I saw right through it. Stupid PUA."? Well that just means he sucks at teasing.
The-Pussy-Whisperer 10y ago
Lmao
Fucty_Artsy 10y ago
What about shy and insecure girls? Seems like effectiveness of teasing is also dependant on these factors and thus not completely in our own influence.
Or is this rather tied with social skill - to read the person and adjust the teasing accordingly? But then again with the shy and insecure I find the teasing completely inappropriate. I feel like making her even more insecure and uneasy.
SlippyToadsWildRide 10y ago
Teasing works better on 8s and 9s, or girls who are confident in their SMV. With insecure girls, you have to tone it back a little. You CAN tease them lightly, once they've gotten a little comfortable with you. If you're just starting to talk to them and you tease them right away, they might misinterpret it as you making fun of them. But if you already have a little rapport, and she feels somewhat comfortable, you can slip the occasional effective tease in and she'll respond positively.
BetaMaleFeminist 10y ago
I think this is a solid observation, Fucty. If a woman is offering me no shit tests and seems interested in my approval, I don't really tease her very much. Insecure and shy women are usually very eager to please (even if they don't express it right away), so I spend my time with them creating a relaxing environment where they feel free to open up. Once coaxed out of their shells, they're more open to being teased and things become a bit more normal. IMO.
cmiovino 10y ago
I'd chalk it up to mostly just being different. Most guys supplicate, compliment, blah blah. She's heard it all. "Nice eyes", "you're beautiful".
Terminal-Psychosis 10y ago
It is proof that he has his own mind and don't give a fuck.
If he can neg on her, he can neg others too, and get his way.
Shows his value. This is attractive.
beerthroway 10y ago
To add on to this, if you treat them like they are lower than you, they'll believe it. Women want a man that's better than them.
atob123 10y ago
We do, we want to feel like we're earning the approval of someone better than us, which is why you can't just give it but have to make us work for it. The minute we earn it, it's kind of like game over. My fiancé tells me all the time "you wouldn't like me if I was always nice to you" and it's true, women just don't want to admit it.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
Terminal-Psychosis 10y ago
Of COURSE they do. If SHE can kick his ass, how is he suppose to be of any use to her?
This also applies to psychological warfare.
RemyPrice 10y ago
100% - best explanation in the thread.
Terminal-Psychosis 10y ago
Yup. 100% the real reason why they test us so relentlessly.
It is in their best interest to know their chosen partner can stand up to the tests of the world.
If THEY (the woman) can kick a dude's ass, of what value is he to her? This is why so many 'men' are deregulated to Orbiter status. She gets hers... he gets??? Only the best men win the full prize.
The ones that stand up and do their own shit without hesitation (especially with her) will induce tingles. Mostly this is a subconscious for women. VERY few actually know they are built like this. This is a constant, consistent state though. A woman might relax once you win her respect, but she will never, ever stop testing.
This is evolution. There is zero use worrying about it... all we can do is realize and be prepared to do our very best. This means getting our own way in the world FOR US. This lets her know INSTINCTIVELY, for her too.
I know I'm preaching to the choir with you here Mr. Price, but I thought I'd explain more in detail for the newer members.
RemyPrice 10y ago
Fantastic explanation; it reminds me of the story "Of Rocks and Men" which explains this in further detail:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2y4eox/of_rocks_and_men/
Terminal-Psychosis 10y ago
This is a good strategy for ALL people in our lives.
People can be unstable, and are prone to false pretenses.
(each sex in their own way)
Better to kick people a little before fully trusting. And continue to from time to time.
This is what standing up to shit tests entails, and why men should also test people they would trust.
Everyone they (might) want in their lives, and ESPECIALLY women.
Cryocasm 10y ago
Not being a boring cunt.
thepillwastaken 10y ago
Some of the analysis in here is over the top, I wouldn't overthink it too much. It is true, but have fun with it.
I would say that besides teasing, exclusion is a really good way to dominate a girl. For example I went up to a girl I knew talking to a girl I did not know (she was hotter). For some random reason, I fired this one off "Hey, we should go rob a bank later after we finish these drinks".
Of course they were all in to that concept, so I asked them if they could handle guns and defend themselves..could they look a man in the eyes and kill him in cold blood?..just stupid stuff. Anyway, I told the girl I didn't know "hey listen, I don't know you and I haven't seen how you handle pressure. I'm afraid you can't come".
This was all me just being silly and acting like an idiot, but damn if that girl didn't tell me multiple times that night that she wanted in and was qualifying herself over and over. It was a running joke I made that is in line with this thread.
So don't just tease - pretend to exclude them from things that are exciting.
RPAlternate42 10y ago
I was working as a volunteer at a race and a girl asked, generally to the group, "are they going to feed us?"
"Well, if you walk over there," I pointed to the vendor stands, "you can bring me back a sandwich and then I can think of a plan for the rest of us." (TEASE 1)
She just looked at me up and down and gave some IOI with her hair play. "A sandwich? I need some meat."
"Well if I get some meat in you, I'm definitely going to need a sandwich afterwards." She clearly blushed at that one. "But something's going to have to be done about that terrible haircut." (TEASE 2)
She swatted at me (kino) and giggled and then made effort to stand inside my personal bubble until the guy assigned our tasks. Unfortunately I never saw her afterwards.
It's not just teasing, but the context of that teasing.
If I just came out and said, "Your hair cut is terrible" she'd take that as an outright insult. However, coupled with the line about getting her some meat, she takes the innuendo and entendre from that and applies it to my teasing. Now it's playful.
The first example involved a smirk and some facial and body language that clearly says I'm joking. In this case, the body language serves as context.
To compound /u/nicethingyoucanthave 's explanation: it has everything to do with social cues and demonstrates your ability to communicate in complex ways.
Of course... she has to find you attractive to begin with. In my above experience, that girl was already showing some eye-contact IOI and had made a joke about me "stealing" a water from the pallet. That was my opening to escalate the conversation.
Diabolo_Advocato 10y ago
2 obvious negs I gave my current fiancée when we were still in the dating phase.
We were in my room hanging out and relaxing. I was doing something on my computer and she leans close to my face and says "tell me I'm pretty", in a mocking tone i say "look at me, look at me, tell me I'm pretty" she gasps and laughs at the tease. I didn't insult her, I wasn't condescending. I just make fun of something she was legitimately doing.
She liked that I called her out on her BS and didn't just roll over for her, she even said as much in a few different conversations with her. She loves it, the key is that I don't insult her or treat her like an idiot. I just call out her nonsense.
This is a skill I learned from TRP.
redpillshadow 10y ago
Both your examples go in the "mimicry her/ ape her" direction and you soften the blow by the tone of your voice.
I'd advice to mix it up a bit and go for more playful teasing some times. In the first example "mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the prettiest of them all" does work with a lot of different tones cause the origin of the quote already has a context.
VirgoRooster 10y ago
I mean, people in general are attracted to playful, witty people. I mean, I find that with guys (and actually girls too), the few up them that I enjoy hanging out with are the ones with good banter. Novel, fun, charismatic people have the world at their fingertips.
stickfiguresk 10y ago
People go on autopilot throughout the day. They just hit cruise and go through their routine. With women that are used to getting lots of attention, they do this through hordes of men that want them.
But women still crave attention from the highest value males. And a bump in the road can make them turn off cruise control and evaluate, "does this mean I've arrived??" This can either make them very happy, or homicidally mad, depending on your SMV.
Carbone 10y ago
The end goal of a woman in life is to be aroused.
StripperWhore 10y ago
Because guys compliment us all the time and it's lame as fuck. Girls don't like to be worshipped, it's submissive behavior.
Teasing is playful but there's a sexy dominance factor to it. Like you're confident enough to take us. Also there is a certain level of intelligence and wit to teasing that's on display.
SilentForTooLong 10y ago
Why is it such a turn off to have a man be attracted to you?
NiftyDolphin 10y ago
It's the saturation of that attention that causes them to raise their standards and pay attention to the signal vs the noise.
If your baseline signal is that everyone is attracted to you, you'll eventually become with that and only pay attention to the signals that stand out. The stand outs being very attractive men or men interacting with you in unconventional ways.
gg_s 10y ago
It's not. However, a man conveying his attraction by acting like a groveling peasant is a turn-off, as was just explained to you:
SilentForTooLong 10y ago
Same shit.
If you bury your face between a woman's legs, that's worshipping her.
So...what are you to do?