Year into my LTR, and this was the first time I had to set a firm boundary on her - she didn't take it well.
In the past, her and some of her friends would do blow and when that was disclosed to me, I made it subtly clear that I didn't want a LTR that did it. Since getting into a LTR with her, she stayed away from it until recently when she went out with her friend. I know this friend of her does it quite a bit, so after they went out I asked her if she ended up doing some as well. She was honest and said she did, and that she was sorry.
From there I told her "I don't want a girlfriend that does cocaine , I'm drawing the line on that. Don't do it anymore". Her response was okay, however she thinks that I'm being controlling.
Blackhawk2479 4y ago
I think she’s missing the point - she heard “we’re going to stay together and I’m going to keep telling you to stop doing it because I’m controlling” when what you actually said was “you’ll no longer be my girlfriend when it happens again”.
You need to be prepared to follow that up and ditch her though, because she is going to defy you.
Big_Red_suppository 4y ago
If she hangs out with people that do some burger sugar occasionally, shes gonna do it when the opportunity arises. This doesnt mean shes gonna be a coke head or start smoking meth. It does mean she just isnt going to tell you about it anymore unless she wanted to see what you're gonna do about it, since you already put those cards on the table.
The best way to be around people you want to be around is to lead by example and live life the way you want to live it. You arent to change someone by telling them something they have to make the choice or eventually its going to run its corse.
blackkzeus 4y ago
You’re perfectly fine. Don’t worry about it. Secretly she likes the fact that you’re firm with your boundaries and don’t allow her to do whatever. Just make it clear that you won’t tolerate her cocaine usage and if she continues, she’ll be single.
mrpthrowa 4y ago
Well of course you’re controlling, you drew a boundary, she blew it, and rather than dropping her as an LTR you’re trying to control her behaviour . That’s confusing as fuck
priapula 4y ago
sounds like a fair boundary. Who tf wants a crack whore?