I had a girl insisting about taking care of me after a minor surgery, which I ultimately declined. Needless to say she got angry but she'll come around, girls are like that.
I'm aware of the dangers of attraction loss if I appear too weak/vulnerable in her eyes because women are inherently attracted to healthy genes and repulsed by "weak" individuals (no matter how caring they can be while taking care of you).
Is this all in my head or there is some basis in this? I declined her help because I didn't need it (went back to work the day after) but does this mean I'm better off not mentioning any health-related problem to her unless it's contagious?
RedLegendx 5y ago
Not really, unless you’re constantly complaining and moaning about how sick you are. Women are nurturers, if they’re into you they’ll love to take care of you, but again, not if you’re acting like a baby.
JosephBosa 5y ago
True. Physical weakness, no big deal. The mental weakness is what truly repulses them: complaining, whining, crying, and even being depressed or "negatively affected" from the surgery. Thats what is viewed as weakness to women, not a broken leg
nofilmynofucky 5y ago
Yep.
I had a couple minor surgeries a few years back - I worked from home during recovery which drove my girl a little crazy as she felt I ought to be resting more, tho she didn't say anything the entire time she was staying with me.
A while after things were back to normal, she confessed that it was a huge turn on to see how little I'd been effected, and I once heard her bragging to her friends that 'even surgery can't keep my man down'.
Lmao it's not like I had a fuckin bypass you know? But she basically wrote an internal script that I was some sort of hero just because I didn't whine or pity myself.
jm51 5y ago
All those old movies where their man ignores his wounds and fights off the enemy. Battle won, she tends to him. He howls like a baby when the Iodine is applied.
She witnessed you be tougher than John Wayne.
RP0986 5y ago
Imo they don’t lose attraction but they do lose arousal, which is bad.
I think this depends on a few things, like if you’re temporarily sick and you make a game of her being your nurse maid then it’s good.
If you’re in pain and weak and start leaning on her for that maternal type support then you’re gonna dry her up in my experience.
I remember one post in the main sub about a guy in an LTR who had an AutoImmune disease and after recovery he had to deal with the loss of arousal.
On the flip side women are usually quite fickle immediately after so if you did lose a little attraction/arousal it shouldn’t be too damaging imo.
Depends on the girl and on how you are when suffering I think.
The women I date in general enjoy the caring side and “looking after her man”.
Goldcoast1992 5y ago
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Nightingale_effect
[deleted]
RedKnightTime 5y ago
No, not unless you're whining and complaining.
You can think of it as a frame issue.
WindIsMyMusic 5y ago
Short answer: no.
Long answer: fuck no.
TheRedPillRipper 5y ago
u/GGrub8 most here have it right but the truth is it's contextual. The main bearing factor is the severity of your ailment. If it affects the value she derives from the relationship in any way it affects you.
Personally I go by the kredo; NEVER LET EM' SEE YOU WEAK. I've had serious thyroid issues previously and my answer to my partner whenever queried; for years; has been "I'm fine."
In the end it's up to you. If you're confident you can accept help without it diminishing her perceived value of you than that's your choice. I think you chose correctly to recuperate without her. Hope you're back to full health soon.
Godspeed and good luck!
MrAgamemnon 5y ago
Depends on how quickly you recover.
There's a novelty to taking care of someone, perhaps a brief maternal instinct kicks in. It makes them feel good and useful.
But this wears off and it wears off very fast. A day or week is OK depending on how big a bitch you are. More than that is asking for trouble.
archaic-guy 5y ago
I would say it is kinda the opposite , you have awakened his maternal/protector intinct wich is one of the purest expresion of love + maybe her sexy nurse fetish
Unless you are always ill or acting like a child there shouldn´t be any lost of atraction
Sleep022 5y ago
It's a good thing to take care of someone.
pridebrah 5y ago
No. Don’t complain and show eagerness to get back to work/your purpose. The latter can put a woman in a position where she has to “hold you down so you can recover” and makes her feel needed and important in a non-needy way. Women losing attraction because of a surgery or sickness recovery is one of the dumber theories I’ve seen. If that actually happens, next them immediately. That is beyond the general shallow female nature we discuss here regularly.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
I think you made the right decision. I don't buy the widely held belief that women are these great nurturers. Maybe to their kids but not generally. I've often sensed a degree of contempt by women for men who are sick or temporarily incapacitated, and I've experienced this personally. The "man flu" thing women joke about is a reflection of it. Women say every man turns into a whimpering baby at the first sign of a runny nose, but I've never observed men being overly sensitive to illness compared to women. In fact, I've observed the opposite. Women are the ones always complaining about minor health problems, and users of pain meds for chronic pain are disproportionately female. Go to any urgent care center and you'll see the waiting room full of women there for trivial issues that don't really call for medical attention.
There was no real upside to having her around while you were recovering, so you made the right call. If she had, she may well have later complained to her friends what a big baby you were and lost some attraction for you.
MandingoMaasai 5y ago
Fuck what you heard, the answer is yes. Broke my knee two years ago. LTR took care of me. She left just before I fully recuperated. Thing is, while I am sure I did some shit wrong, I was still pulling lasses every other day (still partied with the crutches et al). I had 4 other plates which logically tells me I was still more dominant than most men but because I was no longer my strong self in her eyes, LTR got bored and found someone else. Actually, she and another of my LTRs did -simultaneously. One is back. The other sends her friends to check up on me.