Hey guys, I have this compulsive need to gather phone numbers of girls. It's not what you think. When I meet girls at a social setting I am able to obtain the phone numbers of most girls because I follow all the rules of seduction like teasing and taking risks while talking to them. It comes naturally too me because psychologically I perceive them to be beneath me (I have a lucrative career in law and I am reasonably Ok looking) But once I obtain their number I do not feel the need to escalate and relationship. I text them when I need their validation and will not schedule dates. I usually move on to the next girl and manipulate her into giving me her number. I fear that I am turning into an asexual person like Todd(Bojack reference) or worse an Instagram thot. I currently have more than 300+ numbers of women in my phone and no scheduled dates. I only go out with them when they trap me into it because they get tired of my bullshit over the phone and text (or when I get scared that the woman may not reach out anymore if I decline the date) Then we end up having sex because the woman is frustrated by my aversion to scheduling dates with her. The problem is, a this point my phone is a glorified Telephone book. I try to source phone numbers from where ever I can get my hands on (bumble, tinder, social settings, my job etc). I even decline their offer of talking on Instagram or fb and insist on her personal phone number. Most of the time I never even get in touch after I get the number. It gives me an unusual high. Like I have achieved something when I know it has no value. A hoe would give her number to literally anyone.
Help me guys. How do I get rid of this mindset?
FereallyRed 5y ago
You've moved your goalposts so that getting the number is your finish line.
Which makes me feel that you are actually afraid of women.
Getting the number is not an achievement. Noting to be proud of, it means absolutely nothing.
Like pornhub commenters. So sad it's pathetic.
You're making yourself feel good because you got up, showered and put on clothes today.
That's not an accomplishment... that's what people do.
Aim higher.
_Ulan_ 5y ago
Do you fap ? Try stopping that until you close the deal
usernameishardtomake 5y ago
Lol if you don't really care about sex too much, then it's just a fun game! Stop stressing
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Yeah, sex is ok. Who doesn't love getting oral. But the real achievement I feel is when they surrender their phone number. I don't even feel like sleeping with them. I just feed off the validation when they send me horny texts. I feel like a thot.
The_DailyDrive 5y ago
Are you trying to build a phonebook? Collecting numbers without closing is a waste of your precious time that you could be spent working on yourself.
TrolsMan2 5y ago
They don't surrender their phone number. You thinking you can fuck all the bitches because you got their number, because some of them text you horny. Seems like you just go for low value| girls you have no interest.
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Xerexes3869 5y ago
Maybe you are right man. Some of them do keep pushing for dates. Those are the ones who volunteered to go back to a hotel or my place. I think I have overdone with the abundance mindset philosophy.
usernameishardtomake 5y ago
You sir, are a thot. Who cares tho right? Hahaha
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Hahaha. Looks like it but it seems unhealthy. I feel unhinged. I literally unmatch women on bumble if they give me their insta Id. I'd rather spend my time cultivating new prospect.
bonersNlaughs 5y ago
Homo & hetero men prefer hanging out with men. You don't wan't to spend time with they broads, cos rly it's just a cunt.
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Lol. What logic is that bro. Really?
bonersNlaughs 5y ago
Its a joke. My bad not posting under automod.
Tim-Ashcraft 5y ago
What's your end game? Know that and you'll know why you are making the number getting the trophy.
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Bro there is no end game. I just like drawing it out of them. Sex is just a byproduct. If it happens naturally I guess it's fine . But I don't like to spend a lot of time with these chicks listening to them bitch about life and shit. If they force my hand I guess I'll go out with them.
Earthonaturtle 5y ago
It’s possible you a narcissist and getting #’s for you is a form of supply, giving you a cheap validation based emotional high.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
This is the correct answer. OP just cares about getting validation, and that's it. There's narcissism, and then there's malignant narcissism.
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Maybe bro. Good catch. How do I know for sure? I certainly do feel validated when they subtly bring up stuff to do together. I usually decline their advances until the absolute breaking point.
Earthonaturtle 5y ago
Just ask yourself how it would make you feel if you stopped being able to get the numbers. Ideally you don’t want your self worth to be dependent upon something external how many phone numbers you can get. If you feel the same about yourself regardless of your success rate with number closes, then great you don’t have a problem. If the behavior is validation seeking going on then you should work on becoming more self aware. Meditation has helped me with that personally.
Xerexes3869 5y ago
I fear I have become an Instagram thot. I need these girls hovering around me to feel worthy. I work more harder to break their walls and get these numbers than I would ever work to sleep with them. Need to make some changes. I felt this was wrong this is why I ask on asktrp.
Tim-Ashcraft 5y ago
I recall doing the same when I was your age. Call it ego reinforcement. It's the hunting part of it that is the challenge... THAT was the fun part... Primal, basic caveman behavior here. You're not odd. Sometimes just knowing that you CAN fuck them if you want to is good enough, case closed.
Xerexes3869 5y ago
You get it man. It's just so exhilarating sometimes. Just knowing they'll give it up if you want it. But you don't want it because who wants to be with someone who actively wants to be with you. You only want someone who isn't into you.
usernameishardtomake 5y ago
I guess you are addicted to the abundance of women. Which is fine i think as long as it doesn't affect your daily stuff like work, family, etc. If it gets to a point where it's ruining your life, then I might worry about them. Is it ruining your life?
Xerexes3869 5y ago
Nah. Bro. But I feel left out when I read you guys talking about your closing rate. Which obviously means sex. But I just feel great knowing that if I wanted to I can fuck them . I don't have to. But I could. I like them hovering around me. Trying to understand how my mind functions. I can say anything I want and they seem not to care because I don't actively pursue them.
Tim-Ashcraft 5y ago
Bingo. And ultimately, no such woman exists.