Look I know this is TRP, and in all honesty looking back... in my relationship I lost alphaness. I didn't feel it at the time, but I feel as if we have all be there, slowly but surely, without you seeing it....It wasn't anything drastic like going into my feminine, but the guy I turned into, lack of motivation, complacent in life, just chilling in my house with her on the weekends, and so on.
I'll try and make this short. My ex and I dated for 5 years. She broke up with me out of no where. No other guy involved. Mainly because she wanted me to WANT to get married to her and that I never brought it up. She asked if I would go to counseling with her I agreed (see beta) but she texted me the next day saying she thinks it's best if we just split. Devastated I just said ok. 2 Weeks later I hit her up and we talked again (see beta) but I really wanted to tell her that I do want to marry her and I do see the future with her (see purple pill). I was crying a bit too (beta) and wish I didn't show so much emotion, but I felt so weak.
Fast forward about 1.5 months ago I was on a date with a girl and her friend sees me, tells her, and then my ex contacts my best friend. (see alpha as fuck) She cries to my best friend asking him how I could be moving on so fast. He then asks her "well if you miss him so much why don't you ask him to meet up?" She then goes on to say that she doesn't want to give me any false hopes of getting back together because she doesn't know if she can...It has been a total of 4 months now since we broke up. I have been going no contact and haven't spoke to her in 4 months. In that time I have been working on myself and did some pretty big things but I still do miss her a lot. Even after going on multiple dates and doing big things in my life, I still see myself with her. I know it's not the healthy thing to do, probably best if I just acted as if she were dead and move on but can't believe after this long it's still so hard.
Do you think I should ever reach out to her or do you think she NEEDS to come to me first? A lot of youtube coaches have the "you should never reach out let them come to you" mentality. But there are some that say that they have seen success with hitting them up casually...Just wish she could see this new me, I could see where I was going wrong in the relationship
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
It's only been four months. More time will make it easier. Plus it's obvious that she had another guy on her mind when she ended it. Hard next.
stt816 5y ago
she told my friend that she knew I'd think there was another guy but she said she hasn't even been on a date yet...I think it was foolish of her to tell my friend that and I know nobody here is going to believe that she hasn't been on a date, but I do believe it.
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Believe me I know how women could be most have a guy lined up before they break up with their current bf and I'm not trying to claim THIS girl is so different but I can say with 99% certainty I don't think there's another guy that was in the mix and it was just the lack of alphaness and showing her that I do want to marry her that turned her off
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
A girl who's in a LTR of half a decade expects marriage to at least be in the cards, I promise you the breakup wasn't because of your willingness to put a ring on her. After that long of a relationship, no other reason than there being another guy she has in mind, even if she hasn't pulled the trigger on him yet. Trust me.
stt816 5y ago
She would have atleast gone on 1 date with him though...she is the one who specifically brought up that she hasn't been on a date yet...I really think its the lack of alphaness and she thought she could do better, not that there was another guy...I just want her to see the new me who really has changed for the better
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
You don't follow her around constantly, there's no way for you to know for certain that she hasn't.
Again, even if she hasn't, it means she has someone in mind but is waiting to pull the trigger on them. Given that she ended a half-decade long relationship, she's probably waiting to get with the new guy to show she's not the type of girl that just goes from one relationship right to the next, she's attempting to demonstrate value to the new guy by putting space between the relationships. She's just surprised by how fast you seem to be getting over her. Move on.
stt816 5y ago
Yeah I guess anything is possible, I just didn't understand all the crying she did to my friend, would think she would be over all of it
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
She's surprised that you've moved on so fast, and not waiting around to get back with her, that's it.
stt816 5y ago
Wouldn’t that be a good thing though in my case?
BigFeetBigDick 5y ago
Can u stfu with the (little faggot) remarks
BigFeetBigDick 5y ago
Do not reach out, and do not reciprocate if she does. Forget about her.
forsaken_in_the_dark 5y ago
Why don't you start lifting and read books?
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Why do you want to give up all your options to her?
Why do you see yourself with her? When you see yourself with her, do you see a beta faggot servicing his princess?
Is her vagina very special?
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> how I could be moving on so fast
she thought you had so low SMV that you wouldn't be able to date in months and surprise surprise her beta provider lost shackles and realised there are other vaginas out there...
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why would you care what she thinks?
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stt816 5y ago
I read the rational male and I see myself with her because she never gave me any problems, no fights at all. She was submissive, just felt right. I never felt once even looking back that I was a beta servant. I just felt like I lost a little alphaness.
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forsaken_in_the_dark 5y ago
But she wanted you to get married. Marriage in western society give disproportionate advantage to women over men. Did you ask why she would want you to do this?
stt816 5y ago
It was all because she started a new job with slightly older people and she was seeing everyone was married but her ...she also saw us hitting that 5 year mark and I wasn’t pushing for it
forsaken_in_the_dark 5y ago
I am in a LTR of 10 years now and we never got married. At 5 years I'd say we were okay given that I was a beta and a faggot all that time. But internally I knew marriage is something I never do. We had that conversation actually somewhere 5 year mark too as I remember. I just said no and if she needs marriage she would have to find someone else. Now if I got married I would have been properly fucked right now. I am so glad I didn't fall for that. I am looking to end this relationship at some point this year.
stt816 5y ago
Good to hear from another ltr perspective...I think it I really think about it an ltr would limit me on the goals I want to achieve as well
iLLprincipLeS 5y ago
Oneitis. Move on, she already fucked other guys by now.