We are both 23. I got the talk last night, now we've both gone to work and will see each other again tonight.
She's my only plate/relationship. I did what TRP suggests and did not go LTR, even though it maybe would be the best thing for me right now because she is great and I know that my peak pussy slaying days are yet to come.
I have no real reason not to go LTR with this girl except that I want to spin plates in the future.
I also fear that while committed i would have to miss opportunities to upgrade. I want my freedom if my dream girl appears in front of me.
She is all green flags and its a really convenient relationship for now.
I am ok with having a girlfriend but i dont want it to last forever. She knows this now and Im not sure how to give commitment a timeline.
I said I wanted to just remain an unlabeled relationship but she took this as personal rejection and got sad.
If we make it official i have to break her heart one day, instead of soft nexting when the time is right. She also told me that polyamory will not work for her.
What can i do from here?
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
Red pill does not tell you not to LTR.
All this talk about upgrading makes me think if there's a male version of hypergamy. You only date one girl for 6 months, you look for green flags, you're ok with an LTR but you want to keep your options open. Sounds like any young woman's sexual strategy.
If the only reason you don't want an LTR is to spin potential plates, either dump her later when you do or be clear about living a non-monogamous lifestyle. That's the real conversation and concern you should be having.
RedLegendx 5y ago
Your way or the highway, just tell her you want to keep your options open. If she doesn’t want to go with it she’s always free to leave.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
I dont think that emotional brutality will work. Does it always work? I think the spark of the relationship will go totally cold if she knows im constantly looking for the next girl.
My other factor is that i dont want this plate to drop because when i stay at her house my work commute in the morning is 15 minutes instead of 1.5 hours. I really enjoy that.
900_year_old_vampire 5y ago
it does if you also occasionally feed her slivers of hope. they'll ride that emotional rollercoaster forever. if/when she actually walks, cool. allow her to come back around whenever she wants to hop back on. thats just how it works, because they are a slave to it
Blackhawk2479 5y ago
She’s not a plate dude, she’s your girlfriend, whether you want to accept that or not.
What is this bullshit you’re spouting about your dream girl coming along? You sound like an idiot.
You’re either spinning plates or not. If you’re not gonna shit, get off the fucking pot.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
I dont disagree. Nothing will change if it becomes official except i will be banned from picking up another plate if the opportunity comes by.
I already treat her like i would a girlfriend, so does that mean I have to label it so?
Blackhawk2479 5y ago
It doesn’t matter what you label it, if you’re exclusive and treating her like a girlfriend, then she’s your girlfriend.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
We've been "dating" until now. Something changes when I accept her request for commitment.
boy_named_su 5y ago
you okay with her bangin' other dudes, while you bang other chicks?
23 is young for an LTR (for a male)
you could LTR her if you wanted, and if you meet someone better in the future, drop her. might be emotionally painful for both of you though
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
I used to open-date a slut who was a sex worker and cam girl so i have already eliminated all my ability to feel jealousy in relationships.
So yes, I am okay with her banging other dudes. I told her this, but she said that the part of her that usually seeks for mates, has shut off while she is with me, and doesnt want anybody else.
For this reason is also why she said she cant do polyamory, she only needs/wants to maintain one person.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
I prefer to let girls go proactively, they are on a timer and I encourage they work on finding a more suitable mate.
0io- 5y ago
Since you're not seeing anybody else anyway, you can tell her without lying that you're happy to be exclusively with her "as long as we both are willing." If you meet someone else that you want to fuck you can always tell her that, and try to make a threesome out of it first. If she doesn't want to go for that or if you're getting bored with her you can always legitimately tell her that you think it's not working out and that you should see other people.
You don't have to lie or cheat or make any false promises. Just stay exclusive to her until you're bored with that and it's not working for you anymore. Then give her an opportunity to keep you happy by being less boring and doing whatever you want, or part ways.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
This is helpful thankyou