TRP tells men to be the best version of you that you can be. If you have to question every little thing that you do and wonder if it's 'Redpill' or not, then you are doing it wrong and you need to read the sidebar materials on /r/TheRedPill and brush up on that knowledge.
While you are improving yourself and becoming the man you want to be, you will stumble fall. If you were raised beta like 80% of men were, myself included, then you will lose your way and revert to your default behaviors from time to time. What really matters is that you're here looking to improve yourself and your situation.
Reading and digesting the sidebar materials on the main sub is crucial to understanding the social dynamics of the world that we live in, and for maximizing your interactions with others in a beneficial way that improves your standing and furthers your goals. If you take time to process this information, you will begin to be more self-reliant and you won't need the opinions of others to set you on your path. Read the info. Let your actions be based on informed decisions you've gained from that info. Stop second-guessing yourself and learn to pick yourself up if you stumble on your path. You will know when you fuck up, and you will know what you have to do next time to avoid it in the future. Read the material. Good luck.
oldredder 9y ago
That being said the side-bar is woefully inadequate & needs regular updating with new materials including tons of RSD stuff now on youtube.
iq8 9y ago
I can do what i want and ask any question i want, fuck you if you dont like it i dont give a fuck
ShitArchonXPR 9y ago
I love having that attitude on Reddit, but then mods tend to ban me.
Misteralcala 9y ago
THAT'S the spirit!
Chewedsnatch 9y ago
You are one cool customer, internet tough guy.
Summertime_Dimes 9y ago
You sir have missed his point.
[deleted] 9y ago
It is hard to "read" the sidebar in the way you talk about it. You seem to talk about understanding how society works, but do you know how humans work? We're not in The Matrix world! We cannot just upload the knowledge into our brain and suddenly know it!
I honestly read the "sidebar" when I encountered TRP. Spent about a day or more just reading. However, as a typical human, I cannot really process and apply THAT much information. And trust me, as a programmer I'm quite adapt at studying big manuals and applying them to practice, safe to say I'm better than average at this. Still, I took a thing here or there, but that was it. In several days, I found out that I'm not much better than before - the only difference was now I knew I'm wrong about the world and that's what's holding me down, that I knew I'm wrong SOMEWHERE but I was still wrong and not seeing where. All these books and articles and blog posts were consumed, but not applied, because that's how humans work. That's why you study a specific subject for no longer than 2 hours a day several days a week in the university - information takes time to sink in!
And then in the end, what matters is how we change our behavior. Because that is the easiest way to change our morals, way of thinking, and habbits, and eventually, our paradigms and ideals. For example, you do not read about "approaching is fine" and meditate on the fact that "approaching women is fine and nothing to be nervous about" - you force yourself to approach and THAT way you change your views on "approaching".
That's why IMHO questions like "evaluate my behavior" are crucial. That's how HUMANS ALWAYS LEARN. We study, we do homework, someone (hopefully with more skill or knowledge) evaluates it, and we learn from our mistakes. There's a difference between seeking approval and seeking evaluation. I don't need you to approve my actions, I need you to apply your greater skill and wisdom to my situation and tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.
Of course, questions of personal prerence cannot be answered. We cannot know if someone's satisfied with his relationship or not, or wether he can find a better GF. But even then, these questions CAN be benefitial because often people are in deadend or abusive relationships but too attached to them to acknowledge it. So sometimes we CAN definetly evaluate person's relationship and tell them that breakup is the only viable solution.
When someone asks "is X alpha" then IMHO he's just simplifying a bigger phrase "If I would be a person who studied and applied TRP knowledge to it's fullest, disregarding my personal preferences and goals, would I consider X appropriate or not". And this is a very important question to answer in order for the person to progress faster.
This is exactly the same as when you learn any art form! When you're Picasso or Dali, of course you don't ask "wether this is a correct way to draw a human/clock" because you set your own rules and goals, you have your own style. However, when you're learning to draw, you do something and ask your teacher to evaluate your work, and it is evaluated based on common theory, disregarding your personal style. What could be viewed as a mistake in training could become your personal style in the future, but right now it's a mistake and it's good for you to KNOW so. But your lack of skill, lack of knowledge or even personal bias may prevent you from seeing it - and that's why you ask for evaluation.
oldredder 9y ago
Yes we can. I can. I do.
You have to force the information in at the highest speed possible so your subconscious gets it even if you don't know you did. Then you go at it one more time at regular speed. Then you try it. Then you go back to highspeed forcing the information in.
As you consume the information back-check to what you did/saw before that relates.
I can do it. Some can't. Too bad for those who can't.
[deleted] 9y ago
If you can give reference to some study or explanation of this method I'm all in to try it. I think I must be capable of that.
However, saying "bad for those who can't" isn't a good way to go about it. Every person is unique. People have different abilities. We have to respect that someone can lack in areas which we excel in and not discard them like that.
I mean, one thing to say someone is too rooted in his old ways and wants no change, other to disregard someone because he was not born with some predisposition.
oldredder 9y ago
It's called speed-reading and having a high IQ.
You try it, it works, or it doesn't. If it doesn't you need to slow it down & if your only speed is everyone else's normal speed then you can't do it.
Some people have all-around lesser-abilities and it's only obvious to those who have more abilities. I don't have to respect shit from anyone who can't keep up with me when that's what I need. I'll discard the entire human race if it suits me.
[deleted] 9y ago
we can internalise concept and then experiment with them
And as a non programmer strugling to learn to think like "you", I get your point. The issue is I don't work with the environment enough to attach the learned programing concepts to experience(even if it is limited or faulty), there simply isn't enough there. You may be experiencing the same issue,
but they don't ask for evaluations, they ask if it's alpha, which in it's self makes it beta because they are unsure of that behavior.
dali sucked at that BTW, he was a very poor student
[deleted] 9y ago
Am I wrong to assume there are two kinds of "unsure"?
One is when I'm hesitating to do something because I'm not sure if that's the right action. Like "should I quit my job and take up this new one". Here I doubt my judgement and can't choose for myself.
Other is reallistically understanding your human inherited flawness. When I'm handing in my homework that I've had no problem doing, I'm sure of myself (I'm sure I have applied all studied concepts correctly), but I'm not sure if I did it without mistakes, because I know I could be wrong in applying some knowledge that is new to me. I can be sure I did the best I could, but I cannot be sure I'll receive a positive grade.
There is difference between being self-assured and secure versus being overconfident and blind to your mistakes, right?
[deleted] 9y ago
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[deleted] 9y ago
Either I misunderstand you, or I am hamstering, or you misunderstand me.
I'm not "fearing" the future. Either way, if I receive a good or a bad grade, the future will be bearable. Well, you might say I am emotionally attached to it (of course I'd like to receive a good grade) but I can bear getting a bad one, and I think being emotional is fine (if you're unemotional why live?). It is irrelevant wether what I have done was to the best of my abilities or not - I am concerned wether or not I erred and how to correct that, because I want to improve myself at every opportunity.
So no matter what I do, especially at the stage of a huge paradigm shift, I'm interested in evaluating EVERYTHING I do. Did I say the right thing? Did I behave the right way? It's not that I fear I'll fuck up, but if I fuck up, I want it to be a learning experience, not a waste.
The alternative I see is to become sealed to any improvement. If I do not evaluate my actions and do not admit I may have erred, I have no way of improving myself because I consider myself fine just as I am - meaning, there's nothing that needs changing.
oldredder 9y ago
He misunderstands you. A long exchange I had with him indicates he's a beta-bluepill follower only hoping to pose as something else.
He is precisely that, firmly entrenched in the Matrix & can offer no helpful advice.
[deleted] 9y ago
Not the grade, the effects of the grade trouble you. And most of them are made up, exaggerated by your mind. If you understand that failing is part of a process, then you don't fear it anymore, sure it isn't fun, but there is no fear, no hesitation.
being emotional and and just dancing around life to stay away from bad emotions and running after good emotions are 2 different things
But trying to fix things is not improvement, is running away from failure, it's being sorry for failure, trying to compensate instead of learning and moving on.
Can you learn before you fuck up? Is it of any use to you, to condemnt previous mistakes instead of noticing ways of succeeding. Let's say you have a exam.It was comprised of exclusively course work? Do you train harder or better for the next one? do you learn from the failure or from the behavior that led to failure? People are so inside their heads that they don't realise that more is not better. That the system is not fair and that there is a difference between a normal "healthy" mental process and a effective mental process. You can rarely derive eficacy above a certain level from the process that everyone is doing, but you can move laterally, target effectiveness and then adapt it to becoming your normal(because you wont have as much cognitive disonance as the "normal" people in reconciling what you where thought to do and what actually works.)
I would describe it at worst as sealed to any criticism, even your own, but even taht is a stretch, yo do analise, you just cut the bullshit out that is not productive, you stop using moral judgements and you only use efficacy as a point of reference. Growth is not about feeing good about yourself, emotion should not be a factor. We live in a age where growth is effectively harder than stagnation, because there is no fear of death if we don't grow. So any reactive emotion will push you towards the path of less emotional hardship and that is not the best way to grow. I find myself repeating 2 things to men: If you stop you are as good as dead and comfort is toxic.
Evaluation and emotional judgements are two very different things for a man, not so much for a woman, and that is the process most men have been tough to use: you put everything in context regarding feelings and standard agreed upon optimal behavior instead of asking: what works.
You can, but you can also blame yourself for not aplying enough effort in a issue that required intelligence, enough force for a issue that required dexterity. We are hard wired to blame ourselfs not the process. We very often just do what everyone else does. It's very similar to the ancestral safety in numbers strategy. Take being nice to a woman. It's a great strategy all around. Women get their pick, hot men get to make babies and betas raise or get the scraps. It's almost as effective as capitalism in having an optimal distribution(most organic systems are like that) but you as the individual can go the simple way around, count your blessings, getting self esteem from not failing and getting security from not taking risks but the system doesn't give a fuck about all those values , but that is heresy. So when you do fail, or stagnate, it must evidently be your fault, your slip up. The system was good to you for so long, how could it disappoint and even if it was "rigged"(there is no human agency inflicting it's sinister will against individuals on a systemic scale) against it's still better than harrasing it. The alternative of trying, experimenting and failing voluntaraly over and over and over is madness. So you learn to be a better busy bee, a better worker, a better student and you continue to do effectively the same things over and over just harder.
[deleted] 9y ago
Thank you, that was very insightful.
I think these are the two most important conclusions I have from our discussion:
1) Unless it's a lifechanging decision, you should always try it youself and then ask. Instead of being unsure and asking "should I do this/that" or "how do I do this/that", try to form your own conclusions, choose a solution, try it, and if you are not sure after you tried, or have failed and see no way to actually do it, then ask for advice. This way you learn to accept failures and actually get your ass out of your comfort zone, instead of sitting behind your PC trying to minimize risks by having experienced people solve your problems for you.
2) You should not be constantly overcritical of yourself, constantly noticing your flaws and so on. It drives you into state of insecurity. Instead, you should act with full confidence, and later take time to evaluate your actions. This way you both act to the limit of your abilities without doubting yourself, and can learn from your mistakes.
[deleted] 9y ago
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[deleted] 9y ago
Oh I did suggest it today to a long time acquintance (IRL). Haven't talked for some time and had so much to discuss so it kinda slipped after many topics were tackled.
I regretted that I mentioned it. He defended himself for an hour with such passion... if only he'd use it to actually work on himself...
queensland11 9y ago
Interesting.
Spiderman48 9y ago
This is asktrp. Not telltrp
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
I believe that TRP and askTRP partially serve as support groups for individuals who took the pill. Even if they have read the sidebar I think they want an outlet--a group of companions, if you will, to share the progression, failures, and questions they come across in their journey to bettering themselves.
I personally use TRP and askTRP to remind myself about the core behind truly living to one's full potential. At times, I might ask questions regarding my actions, but it is not necessarily to seek confirmation about my "alpha-ness" or lack thereof. Rather, I do it to seek the opinions of fellow brothers so that I can expand my perspective on issues and/or circumstances that I come across now and in the future.
While I do not disagree that some posts ask "is X is alpha," I think we might be overlooking the benefit derived from these questions, namely the overarching lessons that could be learned from that particular situation.
I don't mean to sound all preachy, but that's my two cents.
[deleted] 9y ago
I think the askTRP sub is very important because TRP doesn't just click. You are constantly working on this shit. Also, there was a post of a guy that was taking all TRP points to the most extremist point, something about abandoning some girl in a foreign country because he thought it was RedPill.
He's trying, which is good, but he need guidance, which is important for most people here. I've definitely learnt from askTRP threads, even if I haven't posted my own shit.
So in a way the sub is just an extension of a more informal reading source that in ways, may be more applicable or relatable to real life then some of the sidebar material.
oldredder 9y ago
For those of us born alpha TRP does just click. It's for me nothing more than a way to track how many others are fake alphas and how many are real alphas that don't "need" the advice given here because they live it by default without instruction. Life experience, failure & success, are the teachers.
The highest return value of TRP and askTRP is for betas acting out as alphas to get what they want, which is fine, but it shows me you're not alpha when you have to ask the basic path. It's fine to ask for details, we're not all supergeniuses, but if you are so blind the path itself is invisible to you, you're beta, you'll be a faker all your life and you have to live with the fact natural alphas can sniff you out every time, just like packs of dogs can smell who is alpha and who is not.
You thought all that buttsniffing is something silly that dogs do for fun?
Pheromones & what you ate for dinner, how well you ate, shows how alpha you really are. Top dog gets the best meat and what's left over can be smelled by all the other dogs.
Perhaps you lack the skill but judging the fitness + fat, the smell of a man's sweat & clothing, I can tell who's alpha without a word being spoken.
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
Well put. Like some individuals mentioned above, people think reading this "extension" source has the same priority as other sources, say from the sidebar.
Misteralcala 9y ago
I see a lot of posts where people clearly did not take the time to read sidebar materials. This is the target I was writing for.
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
Unfortunate that people are too impatient sometimes.
[deleted] 9y ago
Support groups? Fuck that, the only reason it looks like that is that desperations creates traction on both subs.
Wanting companions is okay, being a pussy in highschool and being to scared to say or text the wrong things without the internet validating your actions is fucked up and using the internet as a crutch prevents you from actually growing.
Let's clear this: if you ask is X alpha, I guarantee you X isn't alpha, or wont translate as alpha because you are insecure about it in the first place. Using this comunity as a crutch won't make you more secure, failing and learning will.
Yes there is benefit, but the expresion should be: would a emotionally healthy man do X. And that is what people learn.
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
I don't see anything wrong with support groups. Some individuals need it, some don't. Just like how some people are better at things than others--you know, people who need tutors and those who don't, for example.
Can things be achieved alone? Yes, but why limit that route to everyone? People take different paths to the same destination, more or less (e.g. becoming a better man). Some people probably have went on their own way and failed but still be unable to figure out why without the input/perspective shared from others of similar interests. My bottom line is that I don't see a definitive RP way to going about becoming a better man. I see it as whatever individuals deem suitable for themselves.
No need to bash any semblance of systems that encourage and help others get through whatever it may be. Sure there are shitposts sometimes, but like all things, there is grime if you look for it.
I think you are perceiving support groups as an option that individuals resort to because they are weak, but I have to disagree.
[deleted] 9y ago
I don't see anything wrong with support groups
They are enabling a victim mentality and in the process making it both hard to move on and amplifiying the event's influence on the victim. People like validation if you validate a person for being suicidal you will inevitably push them becoming suicidal.
neither need them, some just find it to diffult to walk witout crutches.
beside genetic differences that manifest themselves only in years of focused pursuits intrinsic differences are pointless, they are an excuse for mediocrity.
That is a particularly big issue to former children without father figures, after a certain point you do not learn from mentors, you just feed a codependent relationship that inhibits growth in both of you.
because achieving is just a byproduct, it is meaningless, what matters is growth, the process is what counts and the easier you wiggle your way into doing something the less you grow as a consequence of it. You won't care about the hot blondie in a bus, but if you use a wing man for 30 years your game will be worse than not using one.
again, succeeding is not the point, "failing better" is and unless you are an idiot that just bangs his head on the same point in the door and wonders wy it doesn 't open, you won't repeat mistakes or not learn from them.
Of course not, but there is a definive way of learning and growing. And people often don't choose the optimal path, they choose the easy path. Trying to fake being a man is a extremely pervasive and unhealthy habit of this community. In real life I would pummel these types of attitude into the ground, but I understand that over the internet I may be talking to someone with mental issues or real serious trauma so I dial it back, but that is a world appart from the enabling attitude of most commentators.
I don't care about shit posts, I do this for fun. I care about seeing people suffering, coming for help and drowning in the sweet and bitter syrup of self pity. It's like seeing car accidents slowed down because the pain isn't as harsh. I get it, some prefer long and agonising, but they don't even really get to consider the fast alternative because most of the other people are agonising fans as well.
I have no problem with that. I do wan't you to consider that no greatness has been achieved in groups.(real greatness not nobel prise level greatness, when you have to award someone at all costs) Or why the shitiest and unrewarding of jobs encourage socialising more than the good jobs. We dilute pain in groups, and without pain we can't face fear or look foward to change.
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
Not everything is so black and white, my friend.
I'm not afraid to seek help (e.g. from TRP) on the way to bettering myself, whether it be having more sexual relationships, getting a better job, becoming more social, etc.
Yes--some people may think it's more "alpha" to do it alone and/or with minimal external help because fuck everyone and I should be a man, right? However, you're disregarding the different circumstances everyone is in.
Are they excuses to cop out and resort to alternative ways of going about life? Some people use it as an excuse, but other people require different approaches to best achieve the outcome. Then again, what's the outcome of bettering oneself? I did not mention anything about success being the point, but that you bring it up, I have to disagree.
Success is important. How individuals define it is another issue, but having a plan or a goal in mind to strive towards keeps people on their path. It does for me, at least.
Anyway, I suppose we can agree to disagree on this matter. We have different approaches in internalizing the idea of self-improvement.
[deleted] 9y ago
Nothing is black or white, that is what makes the slope so slipery. I am a control addict, a emotional sadist and a narcisist. I do not repress these traits, I monitor them. That is how you handle greys.
I didn't said you should be afraid. If you don't have the fortitude to pick the hard route come over here and assholes like me will make the easy route sound a lot less pleasent.
That is what being a alpha means. But being a alpha also means seeking help when you know you aren't strong enough to make the good choice. Being a alpha means taking charge. That means managing your shit without crutches or getting some crutches if you really can't handle it. Using crutches out of routine comfort or insecurity is however weak.
When you say best achive, what do you mean by best. Because that is precisely my issue. The pain, the failure is crucial to the outcome. Using a cheat sheet undermines the main point of the whole thing.
We are made to grow, to evolve, it's a very undermined natural urge.
pinche_trp 9y ago
Oh, gotcha. I'll start telling girls the story of my life and how I was bullied in kindergarten, or how I really loved that girl, but she kept me in the friendzone while fucking some jerk. Since I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks, I KNOW this is alpha as fuck. That's so simple. Do whatever stupid shit you want and disregard TRP's opinions = ALPHA. I will also start telling people that the sun is square. Fuck physics. Alpha overpowers everything.
No one here is seeking approval; we're all learning from each other. Asking if something is alpha or not is just an attempt to learn something new that applies to the OP's experience.
[deleted] 9y ago
Is working hard to improve my health, SMV and salary alpha? apparently not because I had to ask...
SuperDuperShibe 9y ago
I agree. I'd like to think that there are no stupid questions, because there is always someone out there who will learn/benefit from the answer, regardless of how obvious it may seem to others.
Yahoo Answers on the other hand...
forgeror 9y ago
How are people supposed to " fake it till they make it" without asking questions?
I was under the impression " fake it till you make it" was legit TRP stuff.
oldredder 9y ago
Asking questions is the coward's way out of just living life and learning from experience like real alphas do.
[deleted] 9y ago
This title makes no sense. what you're saying is if someone asks "Is working hard to improve my health, SMV and salary alpha?" the answer HAS to be no? It would make sense if just asking wasn't the alpha part, but apparently the thing you're asking about suddenly can't be alpha... this is completely retarded, OP go fuck yourself.
oldredder 9y ago
Go fuck yourself:
alpha is born, not trained.
An alpha may inquire about details but the over-all direction is BORN to us BY INSTINCT. I don't need to be taught to be alpha, I don't need to ask.
I can ask what supplements, hormones, etc., from a medical standpoint improve me better, ask about risks, etc., from someone with superior medical knowledge, with more life experience. That's alpha as the details are missing but the path is not.
For non-alphas trying to pose as alpha you haven't got any idea where the path even is. Which is why you're asking. Because you're not alpha.
[deleted] 9y ago
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oldredder 9y ago
And that's why you're an idiot and alpha-faker.
[deleted] 9y ago
LOL you didn't read my comment at all.
This post is saying if you ask if something is alpha, it's not.
It's stupid fucking logic because I just asked "Is working hard to improve my health, SMV and salary alpha?". according to this post, it isn't.
Learn to read next time you respond to something I never fucking said.
oldredder 9y ago
I can read just fine.
More downvotes for you.
[deleted] 9y ago
SO many pussies ITT, you people need a mommy not a internet forum.