First off, by all accounts I’m RP. I train, fight, lift, have actual abundance, all the usual advice that gets thrown at guys here I’m doing and have been for a long time because those things make me whole. But my Achilles heel is women and wanting what I perceive as what I can’t have.
LTR and I broke up, our energy levels were not compatible, I have way more I wanted to go out and do things she was a homebody, sex was similar as in I wanted way more. But she was great otherwise, good looking intelligent had her own life, career, I really liked her. After we broke up I immediately found someone new and detached from the ltr seemingly effortlessly. The new girl is on paper perfect— cleans my house, buys groceries, cooks, sex all the time, high energy level, intelligent, good looking. If I had to make up a fictional character for myself to sleep with it would be her.
But this brings me to my stupid BP problem. Recently I can’t get the ltr out of my head. I’d go back to her in a second despite knowing it won’t work out. I lay in bed with the current girl and can’t stop thinking about the ex. Have dreams about her and all sorts of shit that came almost two months after we broke up. I’ve had so much sex with the new girl that I think I fucked my attraction for her out of myself because I desire less frequent lower quality sex with the ex..... This is like delayed onset oneitus for absolutely no reason. By all accounts I have it better now, I should be thrilled and while I hold frame no problem I’m constantly thinking about the ex. I felt like i had hot coals with the ex and the new girl is just a fire fueled by gasoline, not sure how else to explain it. Regardless I recognize this as some serious BP pussyboi thinking. Not sure how to proceed... there’s no contact with the ex. Should I just let time pass with this new girl? Break it off with her and spin plates? Take a break from plates all together? What would you do? Someone slap me.
WolfenSatyr 5y ago
It's only a BP issue f you dropped your current girl for the ex. You recognize the problem and want to avoid the temptation to run back.
There's nothing wrong with your mental state. Studies have shown that ending a relationship has the same grief cycle as death. You're just stuck, which happens. Most of us hit monk mode after a LTR to wipe the mental slate clean. The common advice is to hit the gym when she starts creeping back into your thoughts.
The danger of a rebound girl in my mind is that you're trying to continue the LTR with a new girl. Since she's not your former LTR the cognitive dissonance is impacting your life.
My advice is to hit up the training/exercise routine when the thoughts pop up. Even a single set of pushups is enough for me to get any of my former girls out of my head. Still keep the new girl around if possible but don't be afraid to cut her loose.
obi-xander 5y ago
This was helpful. The cognitive dissonance is absolutely impacting my life. It’s making me cold to the new girl despite having no reason to be. She knows somethings up but I cant/won’t explain to her the problem. But I find myself constantly being reminded of the ex it’s entertaining in a cruel cruel way:
SrslyNoMayo 5y ago
"detached from the ltr seemingly effortlessly"
"can't get the ltr out of my head"
Pick one
obi-xander 5y ago
No. I didn’t say it was factually easy to detach. I said it was seemingly easy to detach. As in at the time it seemed easy.
You seemingly can’t read. Maybe you can though. I’ve been wrong before.
SrslyNoMayo 5y ago
Easy there buckwheat. I actually identify with the delayed-onset oneitis thing.
cluelessguitarist 5y ago
I think you are into something, because this is a thing...
Porksonsdikshop 5y ago
This should be fun.
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