Before you hate on the title, hear me out.
I get a lot of interests from guys but I don’t multi-date. Once I get past to a second date with a guy, it felt like that’s it for me and I’d just ignore the other guys. I find it hard to have what you call abundance. My life is very fulfilled in many other ways and I have a lot of other things going on but I’d still get stupidly attached after just one date if I think the guy seems genuine.
This sub tends to think women have 100 other guys coming at them and they’d just accept advances from all of them. I find it hard to be one of those women. In fact I had the opposite feeling that guys were more likely to be in those situation where they’re just swimming in pussies, especially the good looking ones. If I like the first guy enough, I’m not gonna give time to the second guy who came to me because I felt that I much rather focus on one guy. It’s only fair right? Then I realised I gave exclusivity to someone without realising it. They didn’t earn it. They didn’t prove that they were worth it.
Did you feel that abundance / multidating helped you keep your feelings in check at the same time not stopping from you developing a meaningful relationship? I have yet to try it but even talking to different guys on OLD feels draining to me :(
FriendlyRebel 5y ago
(m/42) I can relate to this as well. I prefer to focus on one woman at a time. And, like you, I tend to get overly fixated ... in a way that probably doesn't serve me. I don't really have a solution for this but, at the moment, my approach is to maintain my one-at-a-time dating process. But I'm going to just try to be patient. And not indulge any of the fantasies and idealizations that inevitably lead to attachment. I think I'll just try to keep busy with other things in general. Not with other women ... other dates. At least that's the plan. : )
DiSysmic 5y ago
Male sexual strategy and female sexual strategy are miles apart. Go on RPWomen to ask questions.
boy_named_su 5y ago
In fact male sexual strategic success requires that female sexual strategy fails, as per Rollo
alpha-zach 5y ago
Each in its purest form maybe, but I doubt rollo really believes what you are implying here. The clear middle ground through a healthy marriage in which strong children are raised that have good prospects for their future, isn’t either sex failing it’s sexual strategy.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
This sub is directly aimed at men. We work differently to women. Of course, seeing more than one person at a time is going to give a feeling of abundance. It gives the ability to vet for something more serious, instead of feeling a scarcity mentality and just committing to whoever you're seeing.
You more have to figure out why you give your exclusivity to a person after one date. That's just fuck'n stupid.
notaquitteryo 5y ago
I dunno. I just kinda don’t want to build a relationship on the basis that we were getting to know each other while fucking someone else
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
What's wrong with that? It sounds like you are blue pilled. The whole 'be exclusive right away, otherwise it's not right'.
What's not right is giving away commitment before you know anything about people.
If you want to do it that way, do it. Just take time to vet people. Most talk shit in the beginning.
Blackhawk2479 5y ago
That is abundance. Choosing to be a serial-monogamist rather than playing the field of options does not make things any less abundant for you.
It’s nice to see you confirming a couple of TRP tenets for us though:
notaquitteryo 5y ago
Why is it abundance if girls you don’t fancy coming onto you?
redpharma7789 5y ago
Go be a thot somewhere else.
boy_named_su 5y ago
You dont need actual abundance, just abundance potential and mentality, which comes naturally from having a vagina and not being a fatty
notaquitteryo 5y ago
Do you actually feel abundant if all you getting are girls you feel meh abut while you trying hard not to think about the best one?
boy_named_su 5y ago
go meet some men you feel less "meh" about. Hang out at investment banker bars, or where pro athletes hang out, or whatever you're into
Mr_Badass 5y ago
It sounds like you're a traditional woman who might be a "hopeless romantic", that falls in love easily and loves monogamy. You probably only give a chance to the guy that you feel you have the highest emotional connection with.
volvostupidshit 5y ago
She sounds like my bpd ex. Careful bruh.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Ah, I remember love bombing.