Throwaway account here.
I realize I may be asking a loaded question to the TRP community but I would like everyone's honest opinion.
Background: I had invited this girl that I had been seeing (technically a friend I would have physical interactions with) to a midwest destination. We both live in opposite coastal cities and I wanted to visit this midwest city but not by myself.
I contacted her initially to see if she would like to come and she declined since she was seeing someone at that time. A couple months later she contacts me out of nowhere (no communication since initial contact) and she states she would like to visit that city with me as well and that she was no longer seeing anyone.
I book her flights and my own to this midwest destination as well as lodging and a rental car. We both arrive to this city and we have a great time initially.
On the 1st night, she refuses my advances, saying she was too tired and hot. That's fine. I felt I would be able to succeed on the 2nd night.
2nd night rolls around, we both go out to meet up with her friends and she completely ignores me the entire night. I start drinking heavily (along with herself) and try to distract myself by talking to another girl in the group. After a long night, we finally get back to my place and again I try to initiate physical contact. She pushes me away this time, saying that she was too tired, too upset (she had been arguing with a friend from back home) and too hot. I roll back onto my side of the bed feeling extremely frustrated, enough so that I wouldn't fall asleep for the next hour.
After being frustrated for an hour, I woke her up and stated that if she wasn't going to do anything physical over the course of the weekend, she could pack her bags and leave (this was 5 am in the morning). She promptly asks "seriously? I was going to wait and see over the weekend" gets up, packs her bags and leaves within 10 minutes.
After a period of 12 - 14 hours after the argument which resulted in her leaving, I cancelled her flight, which I had paid for from the midwest city to her home effectively leaving her to pay for her own last minute, expensive flight. I also haven't notified her of the cancellation, and I'm working under the assumption that we will cease communicating in the future (she unfriended me on various social networks)
Question: Was I in the wrong for canceling her flight and leaving her to get back on her own? I'm still on the fence about this since I feel like it was implied there would be physical contact during the trip and I did provide lodging, car rental and flights. I just feel morally wrong since I had let her go off on her own at 5 in the morning and I also cancelled her flight back to her destination.
Would appreciate honest opinions /r/asktrp. Thanks.
Luke631 9y ago
Your actions were beta from the beginning. She was using you from the start, and you thought exchanging a plane ride and a hotel for some sex was fair. You reacted like a butthurt, angry beta. Why not just pay for a hooker next time?
Learn TRP. Get over yourself.
FrameWalker 9y ago
LeTemps,
Stick around and learn to be a better man. Many of us recovering nice guys have had our own irrational nice guy dickwad moments. Learn to be free like a Pook (read book of pook)
PayneGreyWolf 9y ago
You are a reprehensible human being. This post belongs on /r/neckbeardthings. You epitomize the "Nice Guy" persona that is incessantly ridiculed on this website.
TheThunderBringer 9y ago
Holy shit, you're the most self-centered, greedy, backstabbing, presumptuous asshole I've had the misfortune to read about in months if not years.
KyfhoMyoba 9y ago
Yeah.
Respect.
mechakingghidorah 9y ago
OP,I'll tell you what my great uncle told me:"All men pay in one form or another"
Next time just skip the middle man and see a prostitute.
23490865243879526487 9y ago
Guys I think it's a re-post from some other sub from about a year ago.
[deleted] 9y ago
Yes, you are in the wrong here. You did not, at any point, indicate your intentions with her were any more than platonic. In her mind, she was expecting to meet you and her established friends, all while getting a free plane ride- a sweet gig. Instead of being alpha, you were being straight manipulative and entitled.
MaunaLoona 9y ago
You missed the part where she called him out of the blue, mentions that she is single, and wants to go on a trip with him. She knew exactly what she was doing.
_edge_case 9y ago
Wow, you are a major asshole.
awesomesalsa 9y ago
Did you even get a refund or was it 100% out of spite? Also you should have had the decency to tell her
[deleted] 9y ago
Well you were acting like a child but neither were you obligated in any real sense to pay for her ticket, it was yours to rescind but also very childish of you to rescind it at all. You weren't in an established relationship, you didn't have any justifiable recourse to her not sucking your dick.
Now if she was your fiancee and fucked around behind your back while on a trip then yeah, you could rescind airfare as a way of dissolving a toxic relationship. But there was no real prior relationship between the two of you, you spent a chunk of change for a chance at pussy, you made yourself a beta bucks and responded childishly.
copralalic 9y ago
I understand the impulse, and empathize, but you were in the wrong and you have since realized it.
Niess 9y ago
this is so messed up haha
[deleted] 9y ago
You are an asshole
cascadecombo 9y ago
No, he is just an immature idiot. There is a difference.
Kind_of_crap 9y ago
You want to get pissy about her not being into you, then whatever, but canceling the flight is a real dick move. Like borderline psychopath shit. You need to grow the fuck up.
JP_Whoregan 9y ago
You paid for her flight, you paid for the rental car, and you paid for lodging, in a strange city full of HER friends. And you expected her to not only respect you but also find you attractive? You were her chauffeur, not her fuck buddy. Cancelling her return flight was an act of spite committed by a sexually frustrated man. You have a LOT to learn.
UCANTBUYMEHOTDOGMAN 9y ago
Fuck you. You deserve nothing and no one.
pupplenupple 9y ago
Covert contracts to purchase sex are the work of a man who hasn't got the stones to hire a whore and call the transaction what it is.
nickcorvus 9y ago
World class scumbaggery. You should feel ashamed for behaving in such a whiny, entitled manner.
I_like_big_titays 9y ago
There are some other questions that are factors. How long had it been since you last saw her in person? Did you get fatter? How flirty was the conversation leading up to the trip?
Long story short the game was played poorly, but the only reason you lost was because you chose to. Outcome independence would have prevented this and been a non issue. I would not have canceled the flight, but probably would have told her to find alternate lodging.
I_Am_Soulhuntre 9y ago
Yes, you were wrong.
Granted, we don't have all the info - but given that it is human nature to spin a story to their own advantage I have no reason to believe you acted better than you told us. Frankly this was fairly doomed from the start - out of now here, after being frozen out you just lay out the cash for the flights after essentially a single phone call? Not a great move. Others have told you why.
The real core of the issue is this idea (paraphrasing) "But, but if she doesn't put out I throw her out, right guys?" being completely divorced from it's underlying concepts and contexts. This is why TRP and alpha mode are more than just checklists, more than just blindly parroting advice and thinking it is invariant.
There were a lot of options here, options to maintain your frame and a position of strength without being a vindictive asshole acting like a spoiled child. There is a radical difference between a strong alpha setting your conditions and expectations and a bitter, revengeful beta with blue balls having a tantrum. This was the latter.
The most telling part of your problem can be found here - "I roll back onto my side of the bed feeling extremely frustrated, enough so that I wouldn't fall asleep for the next hour." Why? Why are you so invested in fucking this girl that you let her refusal dig into your brain like that? Do you not see how the desperation rolls off you at times like this? It's just so needy.
You might be a great guy with your act together... but in that moment? No one would have known. So after having a quiet tantrum for an hour you toss her out in what I am sure was a totally in control, mature and self assured frame of mind right? I am sure you weren't acting like a man in the grips of a fit of petulance... right?
Mind you - I am not saying you need to give girls a free ride in your life and not give a shit if your getting what you want, I am saying that situations dictate responses. You should strive to act from the frame of a reasonable man who has a lot of options, resources and decent self control.
What should you have done?
Personally? I would have gone the fuck to sleep. The next day I would simply have gone on with my day and had a great time - with her preferably, without her in any case. Let her spend the day with a relaxed guy enjoying himself who is not emotionally desperate to get his dick wet. When the night came I would have brought out the bedding needed for her to sleep on the couch and let her know the "guest room" was ready for her. Not with anger, but amused and good natured acceptance of her desires to not be intimate.
That's it. No anger, no desperation. My boundaries - her choice. She can decide if she wants to make me an offer good enough to bring her into my bed - and I assure you, my acceptance would not be guaranteed.
Throwing her out in a strange town, at 5am then cancelling her flights and not even having the balls to tell her that? Desperate. Needy. Beta as hell.
Ken
Goldfulgore 9y ago
The red pill was never intended to punish women for their behavior but to set boundaries on your own. I am glad that you rebooked the flight tickets
AlienSunrise 9y ago
So you went and hung out for the girls night out and she treated you like one of the girls? What a surprise. She was sleeping and you woke her up and kicked her out and canceled her flight because she would fuck you? So you just sat there like a pissed off little kid and woke her up when your tantrum hit its peak. These posts are why TRP gets its bad rep. Yes youre in the wrong.
ButtholeInterest 9y ago
Your first mistake was expecting sex by paying for her flight and all that jazz. Second mistake is paying for her flight and all that jazz. Your third mistake was your frustration and the result of it. Forget about her and move on, take this as a lesson. Don't listen to the people here judging you. Just acknowledge your mistakes and move on to the next one. Personally I probably would also cancel her flight out of spite, because fuck her thats why and save yourself financially.
redbluepilling 9y ago
I'm upvoting this as an example of bad behaviour. I suggest others do the same. It shows how you can be so jaded, trying to use TRP to explain your actions and way of thinking instead of trying to change those for the better.
This is a train wreck. It can't be serious. There's zero redpill behaviour in here.
Step 1. I'm scared to go alone to some place I really want to go to :(
Step 2. Let's go with a girl and pay for her so she'll have sex with me.
Step 3. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?
Step 4. Let's meet all her friends in this city (wtf?) while I do my best to not be alone--stay in her group and get drunk!
Step 5. I'm pursuing her, why isn't she having sex with me!?
Step 6. Temper-tantrum time. Frustrations hit the limit and burst. Apparently any time you're able to 'stand up to' a girl it's RP...never mind the fact that it took these silent emotions all this time to come boiling to the surface...
Step 7. I didn't consider the possibility that she might not have sex with me and I didn't handle it like a man to move on and enjoy my time in the city / meet many other eligible women. Instead I chose to be bitter, emotional, and reactive, without stopping to consider how I may have made mistakes.
Step 8. Stemming from step 7, I was a vindictive asshole, upset that I didn't get my peepee touched. I'm super alpha.
[deleted] 9y ago
I really like this response. This reply reminded me that TRP views equality so much better than feminism or butthurt-betaism.
It's not often we talk about womens rights on here as such, but its true that she had no obligation to have sex with him, just as the guy wouldn't if the roles were reversed. Standing ovation for step 7. ♂
DocTomoe 9y ago
He failed when he bought the plane tickets, thinking it would entitle him to anything. About as BP as it gets.
♂
vandaalen 9y ago
Exactly. Typical Nice Guy behaviour here.
♂
trpbot 9y ago
Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/redbluepilling by vandaalen. ^[History]
[This is an Automated Message]
LeTemps1212 9y ago
Ok. So i understand I did a lot of things wrong. Should I have not cancelled the airplane tickets?
alisonstone 9y ago
You agreed to pay for it without specifically stating what you expected in return. You fucked up, so just accept it and move on. Don't give her hundreds of dollars if she isn't your girlfriend or wife. If a friend offers you a ride, but then halfway through the trip he demands that you suck his dick or he'll dump you 50 miles away from civilization in the middle of nowhere, how would you react to that?
And I'm guessing you don't get any money back for cancelling the ticket so late. So you literally gain nothing except for fuel for your revenge fantasy. That is the wrong move because she'll very likely shit on you to to her entire social network and if there is any overlap with yours they will hear about it too. You abruptly woke her up at 5am demanding sex and threw her out for not giving it to you. You will be labeled as a creepy rapey guy.
You played it incorrectly. If you want to salvage something after you realized that she isn't going to have sex with you, you could have been civil about it and asked her to pay you back for the plane ticket or get some other stuff (i.e. she pays for meals, etc). It is not practical to turn vindictive because you get nothing. Not only do you burn any possible relationship with her (which you may not care about), you may have burned an entire branch of your social network.
[deleted] 9y ago
I wouldn't have cancelled the ticket. That's pretty fucked up leaving her stranded. Her not wanting to have sex with you is a bummer but that shit happens all the time. Drinking heavily because of your feelings is very, very beta. Most girls would not even kiss you if you coped like this. Sorry man, nothing to salvage. You fucked up and exhibited real beta behaviors as pointed out by redbluepilling. Learn and do better next time. You should apologize but that would require contacting her and at this point the bridge is so destoyed it's far better to disappear entirely than cross her path ever again.
booofedoof 9y ago
Now what if she had been planning on having sex with you but was just finishing her period? While you night not have a problem with that, maybe she wanted to wait until she was 100% done so it would be more special.
KyfhoMyoba 9y ago
If it were her period, she would've said so. Women have no problem with saying this.
truchisoft 9y ago
Whoa, dense as plutonium are we?
I have a friend just like you, that phrase means "i do not acknowledge any of my mistakes, but i will tell you "yes" just so you stop making me feel broken"
redbluepilling 9y ago
You should have swallowed your pride, humbled yourself, and realized that this was your series of mistakes. I hope you're able to learn and change your ways of thinking and actions in accordance with RP instead of trying to use it to justify what you do.
RobertCarraway 9y ago
Well, you put the money on the line when you bought the ticket in the first place. She didn't owe you anything - still gotta push the right buttons. I would have told her you expect her to pay you for her flight back. Tell her if she refuses, you'll cancel and then she'll be stuck with an even bigger bill. Tell her you thought there was an implicit understanding that sex would be involved, and that the lack of sex means she can pay her own way home. There was a medium ground to take here that wasn't so passive aggressive.
Idontlikekarmawhores 9y ago
You did the right thing cancelling, but honestly why did you ever bought her tickets? She's using you as a mta machine, I would ask for the money on the first flight back. Next time don't invest on a future "plate" only if she is already giving you something..
TheVTM 9y ago
You have no obligations over her.
I'd have cancelled aswell.
Cut your losses and move on.
[deleted] 9y ago
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ghostofpicasso 9y ago
What is 'LMR' ?
betarex 9y ago
Last minute resistance
Pushnikov 9y ago
I really don't know where you read that. He said "A girl I had been seeing" - "who lived on the other side of the country, more than 3000 miles away" - "technically a friend who I WOULD have physical relations with" doesn't actually say, "I fucked her before." In fact, "I WOULD could mean that he WILL POSSIBLY HAVE IN THE FUTURE, not necessarily, "A friend I DID have physical relations with."
So, I'm not saying he didn't, I'm saying I don't see it clearly laid out that he got laid by her.
loganal 9y ago
he says it in the comments somewhere. I should have said that
Pushnikov 9y ago
Ya, I found it afterwards. Cheers. I couldn't find my comment though to edit, and gave up. lol.
cascadecombo 9y ago
What are you a feminist? Seriously, shame on nothing. The guy is an immature brat.
Also, he does not say he fucked her, he said had physical interactions with, a very open ended phrase. For all YOU know, it was just a simple peck on the cheek once or twice.
Not to mention, she never agreed to have sex, and OP is crying like a spoiled child who tricked someone into coming and is upset when everything didn't fall into place like he imagined.
As for the flight, back with what I just said, he fucked up. She should be able to do things on her own so whatever OP wants to do is on him, but he (as yet to be stated) did not make it clear that he expected to sleep with her.
Guy probably came off as creepy and sex deprived, and of course who would want to sleep with that? No one. OP grow the fuck up, learn that it takes more than some brief interaction in the past to make her want to fuck you when you are offering her a free vacation with no prior agreements you were her beta orbiter.
Think of it like, you invite a friend who is a musician to go on vacation with you, the guy used to play for you but had a contract and couldn't anymore. Suddenly when the contract ends he wants to get out for a bit, and takes up your offer to hang out. Upon arrival you expect him to start playing for you again despite no prior notification of work.
[deleted] 9y ago
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cascadecombo 9y ago
I go straight to associating the type with the vocabulary they used. Simple as that.
And I saw later, but me being incorrect does not change the rest of my point. Since you didn't refute it I can assume you agree. Am I mistaken?
[deleted] 9y ago
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cascadecombo 9y ago
I think this is a part where we differ. OP needs to be called out on his immaturity and such in a very clear way, there is no hand holding here. Not to mention being able to handle harsh comments is rather important.
OP had a golden opportunity, but he jumped at it far too eagerly. If I were him I would have told the chick that that's awesome lets figure the plans out while talking to her on a personal level to establish I still intend to be doing things with her. If that seems like a bust, simply continue on with life.
LeTemps1212 9y ago
Whoa this thread kinda blew up. I actually do agree with you cascade combo. In retrospect I maybe could have emphasized the physical aspect a bit more, but I wouldn't exactly know how without coming off creepy.
I do feel bad about kicking her out at 5 in the morning however. That is still up for debate. I've rebooked her ticket since.
cascadecombo 9y ago
Two things, one you have to be comfortable in your own skin. People pick up on that and if you feel awkward even talking about that kind of thing, well how can you expect it just to happen?
Another thing is, how hard can it be? You can easily reference the time when you did sleep with her to some degree. Bring up the party/event/date whatever when you got in her pants and put that thought in her mind. Hell conversations are easily steered towards sexual topics if you spend a few minutes talking on the phone.
OG-Wyze 9y ago
First off loganl, you seriously sound like some pathetic piece of shit who wants to candy coat it for this fucking retard. The truth and nothing less, deal with it. Shame on you... Jesus christ thats gayer than one man sucking another mans dick.
LeTemps... You handled that situation in the worst way possible, you basically acted like an immature child the whole time. You couldn't even try and flirt with her or seduce her... Noooo... You actually basically told her straight up if you don't put out gtfo... You really don't understand the dance.
And why didn't any flags go up when she calls you out of the blue for the trip, you ever think she just wanted a free trip? Or maybe using you to make her ex or bf jealous... No?
Its on you, all of it is on you. I think its kind of funny you fucked her over royally, But that's just me. Work on your fucking social skills bud, Like redbluepilling said you should of just fucked off and done your own thing, then she probably would of fucked you because she would know you could go out and get what you want and she wasn't the center of your trip.
So LeTemps; Absolutely childish and pathetic behavior, total and complete lack of social skills.
Loganl, you come off as some stupid faggot ass douchebag. "She knew what was expected of her..." So what because its "Expected" she should just put out, even if OP is a total bratty child... If you want money to equal sex go get a prostitute. I could break down your post and use a more appropriate vernacular... But fuck you thats what lol.
stickfiguresk 9y ago
I agree, but it should've been obvious that she had to hamster her way into not being a whore by not putting out right when she got there. She declined initially because she didn't want to seem like a ho. She was down for fucking, but OP robbed her of any remaining plausible deniability. Unless he's smooth as hell, which he's not, there's no way she'd put out immediately. The hamstered logic is like the reason escorts are legal: you're paying for her company. Her fucking you is up to her.
LeTemps1212 9y ago
I'm going to agree with you here loganal and I think this is the most constructive comment I've received on this thread in terms of help.
I've been convinced to rebook her tickets, yet I'm still struggling to figure out if kicking her out was a good or bad decision.
Just to clarify we have had sexual relations in the past and I had thought this was throughly implied throughout the entire trip. She even stated that "I was not going to be getting lucky tonight" on the first night, implying that I may on the second night.
[deleted] 9y ago
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[deleted] 9y ago
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KyfhoMyoba 9y ago
NON TRPers are voting.
This should tell you something. Something like "TRP is the opposite of what is upvoted."
loganal 9y ago
Who is linking this stuff there, wtf?
MaunaLoona 9y ago
Your mistake was to put yourself in that situation in the first place. She used you for the flight and you retaliated by cancelling the return ticket. That's fine -- she'll think twice about doing that to someone else.
Agent4777 9y ago
Dude. You are a first class cunt.
[deleted] 9y ago
A RP man shrugs shit off and pursues his interests. You acted vindictive and childish and cost her a lot of money unnecessarily, to "punish" her for not fucking you. This seems like pathetic, childish to me. I could not imagine a strong, self-sufficient man doing this.
You should have just enjoyed the rest of your time and moved on.
vandaalen 9y ago
Typical Nice Guy behaviour. Doing a favour and expecting to get into a girl's panties for it. Then being disappointed and getting mad about that it doesn't work.
Read and learn about yourself:
https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf
[deleted] 9y ago
Edit: Hello non-RP subscribers! Please remember that voting and/or commenting on this thread is against the rules.
Have a good day!
:0)
Why in the world would you ever pay for flights etc to hook up with a woman? If someone wants to visit and meet up with you - make them pay their own way. You invested a lot of money into a woman when you didn't have an established routine/understanding (ie she wasn't your plate or a FWB). Edit I see you mentioned that you have had intimate relations with this woman previously, this time around she clearly felt she could game you (and she did, since you re-purchased her ticket). Focus on local women, and don't bother with this chick anymore. She used you, and you played right into her hand every step of the way. Throwing her out and cancelling her ticket were the only correct decisions you made. Now, she feel vindicated since you coughed up the money again, and you look even more indecisive (and you're still the 'villain' regardless). When you pick a course of action - stick to it. That means considering your options and making sure you make the correct calls to begin with.
Don't waste money on women that haven't earned that kind of investment.
She was expecting a free trip, and she (mostly) got one.
Tell her that you cancelled her ticket, she'll find out soon enough when she tries to check in, but you should give her a head's up.
In the future, don't drop that kind of cash on a woman until she has earned it.
Idontlikekarmawhores 9y ago
Spot on man
[deleted] 9y ago
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[deleted] 9y ago
Drawing boundaries and refusing to let other people abuse those boundaries is important. I agree he messed up from the very start. That said, one thing that RP stresses a lot for men is "always be willing to walk away." I'm not sure how he went about sending her away, but I have read other accounts where a man will send a woman away after being intimate (because he doesn't want her to spend the night, or because he has other things to do). If he was calm during the process, then I don't see an issue with it - but if he showed any emotion, then the idea was solid but the execution was poor.
I don't have a problem with him cancelling the ticket. There's no law that says he had to spend that money on her to begin with. Revoking the ticket may make him look petty to her - but at that point, who cares? She accepted a free ride, I wonder if at any point she offered to pay for anything at all. The fact that he changed his mind twice (and bought a second ticket) just makes him look uncertain, and easy to manipulate. Not telling her the ticket was cancelled comes off as petulant as well.
In my mind, the 'best' way to handle the situation would have been:
"That's fine we don't have to do anything at all. You can pay me back for the two plane tickets and cover half the cost of this hotel room." If she balks and/or says "no way" then he tells her (calmly) that she has to leave, and arrange for transportation home because he's cancelling the ticket.
Everything gets taken care of in one fell swoop and he never has to deal with her again.
Honestly, a situation like that would probably teach her to think twice about using a man financially. Unfortunately, because he caved, she only walks away with a sense of "even if the guy hates me, he's still going to take care of me. I don't even have to pretend to be nice to get what I want."
bluePillBall 9y ago
A lot of OP bashing in this thread. I personally think he behaved well within norms, apart from one subtle (and one big) mistake. /u/redbluepilling as well as /u/AlphaAsFAQ are both way off base here. I had a very similar situation happen to me in Vegas about 6 months ago (except that me and the girl in question did not have sex previously, as is OP's case). So let me break it down, since I have some first-hand experience:
Perfectly normal to not want to go somewhere strange without a familiar place. This doesn't mean OP is scared as /u/redbluepilling claims, it simply means he's a normal non-autistic social human being.
This might be OP's first mistake. Since he didn't succeed on night #1, it was clearly a bust. At this point, he had two choices:
The best choice here would be (1). Incidentally, this is what I picked when I ran in my own situation. OP decided to go with (2). Now this isn't necessarily a mistake. Why? OP previously had sex with this woman. Spending a few nights in a city in the same hotel room alone with a woman definitely has sexual connotations. She knew exactly what she was implying, but she decided to be a bitch and OP decided to be a bit naive.
This is where shit gets real. She's no longer not only not responding to OP's advances, but she's also being a cunt. This is a tell-tale sign of a shitty human being. I just want to mention that this also happened to me! And at this point, all sexual attraction should go out the window. You need to distance yourself from this person as they will only bring you down.
Another mistake was trying (again) to get with her after a night of being ignored. Now, at this point, OP also makes the big mistake. He gets angry at not getting laid. What he should have gotten angry at is the fact that this other person he's being very nice to is not reciprocating the bare-minimum as required by any social norms.
Again, this should NOT be about sex. This is about her being a total fucking cunt and ignoring you even though you were overly nice to her. At this point, I would (and I did) confront her on a very socially normative level. OP may want to say things like "you're being a shitty friend" or "this isn't a proper way to act" etc. Conceptually, this should be the same conversation you're having with a male friend if he's being an dickish asshole.
OP is 100% justified in leaving her stranded and he is 100% justified in being upset. This is a question about self-respect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with breaking all ties immediately with a shitty human being. Some bridges need to be burned.
Here are some suggestions for next time. I learned these the hard way:
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RedPillFusion 9y ago
Your are in critical condition OP, whether you're aware at a conscious level or not.
Go monk mode (as /u/alphaasfaq suggested).
Take some of the literature in the sidebar with you.
Find yourself. Your real self. Your inner alpha that bends the world over and fucks it in the ass. Not the bitter beta bitching about being entitled to the reach-around the world withheld from you.
Your rest of your life will be miserable otherwise. And there's no way you're going to convince me that you are leading a fulfilling life after this story.
Deaddpooll 9y ago
What a fucking asshole!
The girl was smart not to put out for a whiny bitch like you.
AlphaAsFAQ 9y ago
Honest opinion? Ok.
So she's just a friend you would like to have sex with? You're probably already friendzoned and have no chance with her
She's either looking for a new cock to ride or a new beta orbiter to get free shit from. At this point it might be 50/50 chance, giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Now it's 100% beta orbiter. She knows she has found a guy she can get free stuff from by making him think he can get some pussy.
Weakest move possible. Throwing a tantrum you weren't getting sex. Her pussy is now a desert.
You set yourself up to fail and now you are punishing her for your fuck ups. This is just a scum bag move.
You have a lot of growing up to do and even more learning. You are very immature (that username confirms this) and have no idea how the real world works. Luckily there is a tonne of resources here to help you figure it out. If you're pulling shit like this on this sort of scale, I suggest you go monk-mode for at least 6 months and work on getting your life in order. To get that upset when getting denied sex from someone that was never going to give it to you anyway shows a very low level of self-confidence and a poor understanding of TRP basics.
redbluepilling 9y ago
Spot on, & a bit more eloquently put than I wrote it. I was in disbelief that something like this made its way into asktrp.
LeTemps1212 9y ago
I've since rebooked the flight for her after reading your post.
I do want to point out that I have had sex with her in the past, it's just we don't see each other often since we're on opposite coasts. While we were never dating, I had thought it was implied when I invited her out since it had been done before.
KyfhoMyoba 9y ago
Should've left it canceled. She's a freeloading cunt. She KNEW the deal when she accepted your invite.
[deleted] 9y ago
You literally could not be more beta. My wife and I are laughing at how beta you are.
cascadecombo 9y ago
Nope, nope, nope. You weren't even talking to her when it was suddenly happening. You need to be clear of your intentions, you don't have to say "I'm going to fuck you" but shit, you dangled a free vacation in front of her face and get pissy when she isn't hopping on your dick because you spent money on her.
real-boethius 9y ago
You need to be very clear and unapologetic about your expectations. Then if she reneges it is perfectly legit to withdraw your side of the deal.
redbluepilling 9y ago
Here's an important lesson for people reading this... women, unlike men, are far more fluid and the past means very little relative to the emotions that they feel in the present.
Also, be open to possibilities. Expectation is the mother of all disappointment.
bertmaklinFBI 9y ago
Briffault's Law. There is a reason its on the sidebar.
zyk0s 9y ago
WTF? Cancelling her flight was the only good thing you did in all that story. I guess now it's too late, but learn for next time: you expected an implied transaction (you paying for her trip so that there would be sex) and she took advantage of the fact it wasn't stated to get stuff from you and not give anything in return. That's fine and dandy, but you're entitled to do the exact same thing, i.e. since you never stated that you'd just pay for everything, it's your money, you can and should get it back. Don't listen to people saying it's "a dick move" or "dishonorable" or anything. Yes, it's petty, but women have no honor so don't apologize for this.
Just learn for next time: only pay for sex after the deed is done.
copralalic 9y ago
There is no point in getting angry at someone for being congruent with their nature. May as well be mad at the rain for being wet.
Of course she was a dummy for accepting a plane ticket and a hotel room from, and even sharing a bed with, a guy she didn't want to have relations with. It was naive of her and a grown woman should know better, but that doesn't justify his behavior.
real-boethius 9y ago
It was not naive at all. She knew exactly what she was doing - using him.
zyk0s 9y ago
Of course, anger is something he needs to get over, and he never should have been in a situation like this in a first place. My point though is that, supposing at the moment the girl left, OP was touched by the magical hand of the TRP gods and absorbed all of their knowledge at once, he would still have been correct to cancel her flight back with no remorse. He simply would not have done it in anger.
Idontlikekarmawhores 9y ago
I don't know why you got downvoted, why is everyone so obsses with paying for stuff? Op fucked up, yes , but that bitch didn't deserve anything, from the fucking beggining. OP CANCRL THAT FLIGHT
zyk0s 9y ago
Misplaced sense of honor and duty, not quite fully RP yet. Ultimately, It's not my money so I don't care if they feel like spending it to feel chivalrous. And neither does society.
duckducklandwhale 9y ago
Lol...lemme just say you fucked up for paying for some bitch's flight ticket. What's worse is it seems to be some rando bitch you dont even have a connection with. I dont spend more than 40 bucks on a chick, and that's for certain situations. You actually remind me of one of my beta friends (he's a virgin though) who's going to fly to get some post-wall, got a kid, trying to cash BB, pussy. He tries to act like that's not the deal, but it's the deal. It'll be a waste of money. Whatever, though at least he's not that much a sap that he's buying her ticket. As for the canceling the ticket thing....yeesh based on the story you came off more needy and beta that canceling the ticket after getting shotdown is all sorts of beta and band. It likely wont be looked at as standing your ground/having control of your balls ever. It'll always be looked at negatively. No salvation. With that, if you really dont care about this chick and your reputation, then who cares you did the right thing and got your money back. It's obvious that you do though...
real-boethius 9y ago
You are both in the wrong.
She used you to pay for her weekend with her friends with hints and implications of sex. Or at least knew that was why you were paying for all that stuff. I have no sympathy for her - she is a selfish user.
You screwed up in every possible way as others have pointed out. Never spend any significant amount of money before the sex and probably not even then.
You should have made your expectations clear from the start. And the first night you should have kicked her out after the "too tired" BS.
pupplenupple 9y ago
Never spend any significant amount of money you wouldn't have spent otherwise before the sex and probably not even then. Fixed that for you. It's still OK to take a woman on a weekend holiday with hopes of sex just so long as you'd be doing it if there were no hopes of sex. If you genuinely want someone to look at tourist shit with, or to help you put up your tent, or because you just hate empty hotel rooms, and have the money to happily pay for it, then go right ahead and spend.
Enjoy_The_Decline 9y ago
Why are you paying for a girls flights, wtf man
Youre not in the wrong, next her
redbluepilling 9y ago
Except for the fact that he did so many things wrong and then had a temper tantrum when he didn't get his sex that in his mind he was entitled to.
Enjoy_The_Decline 9y ago
You're right, shouldve read "youre not in the wrong for nexting her"
LeTemps1212 9y ago
I'm guessing the things I did wrong was paying for her flights? Or expecting sex?
gabrielatkd 9y ago
I think what you did wrong was expecting sex in account for the money. That is basically treating her like a prostitute of sorts.
cybervandal 9y ago
Both. You initially treated her like a princess and then had a tantrum when she refused to be a whore. I second No More Mr Nice Guy as a good read to learn how to avoid doing this sort of thing.
copralalic 9y ago
There is a book that will help you immensely. It talks about "covert contracts" that nice guys use to try to get their way via manipulation. You're probably not a bad guy, but acting out like that can make you seem like one.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=no%20more%20mr%20nice%20guy&sprefix=no+mor%2Caps%2C177
Toof 9y ago
That's a very good book and taught me that I need to communicate my desires and not be ashamed for having them.
Just as much as she is clear to let me know that she's not physically interested, I am free to let her know that I am physically interested in her.
Tends to work out much better when I'm totally clear about things.
666Evo 9y ago
Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. This is the first piece of "advice" I've dealt since finding TRP. If it's inadvisable, I need to know.
Would a good way to handle this have been something along the lines of informing her that you're going out for the night and for her to expect you to be bringing home some "company"? She can either leave, or hang around and listen to you fuck your "company".
Cue "he's got options/mustn't be as beta as I thought" hamstering and you're (closer to being) in, whilst actually being in another chick?
[deleted] 9y ago
Dude, he could have had such a great time with this. He makes a move on the first night, then realizes the girl he's with isn't down to fuck. He instantly takes a moment to be like "...shit, I fucked up." Then that moment is over. Now what? Wait... where is he? He's in a new city with new people that he'll never see again. What should he do?
Have fucking fun. Go out with the group, then instantly run game on any random attractive girl he sees. Party his ass off. He should do what he's supposed to do on a vacation, no matter who he's with. Have no expectations. Go fucking balls out. Tease girls, make out and walk away to talk to another. Who gives a fuck. He should have let go, but instead he held on tight and look where it got him.
Live and learn.
copralalic 9y ago
Saying you will bring back some other chick is not good. What if you were to fail? Then what? It's the same basic idea as ultimatums... not good.
My understanding is that the advice here should be the same advice as always: use your mistakes as lessons not yet learned, and maintain frame.
[deleted] 9y ago
[deleted]
666Evo 9y ago
This is why I come here. Constructive criticism.
If he even had a chance, the implication that he doesn't need her is all it takes. If she's going to respond, great. If not, you've gone out and had a great time regardless.