I’ve noticed an interesting trend recently and I’m having some difficultly handling it. I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but lately all my plates having been treating me like a king. Sounds great on the surface, and it is, but I’ve been feeling guilty about it.
It just feels like all of these girls are putting their best foot forward to try to win me over. I mean I have been improving myself. Finally feel like I’m truly a catch, as opposed to faking it before. Problem is I’m not used to getting this kind of treatment from women, and I’m feeling guilty as a result. I have zero intention of ever getting into an exclusive LTR with any of these current plates.
They know I’m seeing other girls. Not because I told them, just through my actions, indirect comments, not responding to certain questions, etc. The only thing I’ve said to them about relationships is something along the lines of “it’s not that I’m opposed, it would just take me a while to get there with anyone.” And that’s a true statement.
Problem is, I wouldn’t consider any of these girls for an LTR. Am I feeling guilty because I’m leading them on? I honesty don’t know where this guilt is coming from. I’ve also been pretty clear about my intentions in terms of looking for something casual right now, which may or may not develop into something more.
So why am I feeling guilty that they’re treating me so well and trying to win me over? I almost want to tell them to stop acting like that because I’m just gonna let them down. But I have a feeling that could have the opposite effect of what I’m hoping it would do.
Can anyone relate? Does this guilt ever go away? Maybe I’ll just get used to it and won’t feel guilty in the future. But maybe I need to switch up my approach and be even more direct about my intentions when I know I’ll never commit to a certain plate. If anyone has any insight I’d appreciate it.
ZeppKfw 5y ago
I've been feeling the same. I think it's just that there's no more challenge anymore, they're head over heels for you, now what ?? I fixed this partially by upping my standards so only the girls that I really want are my aim.
bluefingerblue 5y ago
Interesting. Hadn’t thought of that. I think there’s definitely some validity to it. If these girls are head over heels for me, clearly I need to level up. I’ll keep this in mind. Thanks.
markinsinz7 5y ago
Just remember then that there are other guys on their side that they are fucking and giving the same emotions and requests for a relationship to.
It's all just a game.
bluefingerblue 5y ago
Yeah but I’ve been the other guy before. This feels different. Absolutely zero shit tests. “When can I see youuuu” texts. Canceling their plans to hang out with me when I finally text. Sex on demand. Blow jobs on demand. They keep trying to go for round two, round three, etc. They’re just acting generally pleasant. Always let me lead. Never question my authority.
Unless it’s just coincidence, and I have a solid group of plates for whatever reason, I can sense they’re behaving differently. I’ve had enough interactions with women to know what to expect from them. I’m not getting any of the usual bullshit. I’m not imagining this. They’re definitely acting different.
Edit: maybe they’re just reading redpillwomen lol
markinsinz7 5y ago
Hahaha unlikely women are not the kind to keep me open mind for redpillwomen they need to be directed to that shit either via their men or friends. Anyway we'll it seems like a lot is working out for you. You are supposedly at that epitome stage of in the game where you're not really trying and because you relax and chill out and act with natural frame girls keep on coming.
Good for you, what's the tldr of your story? Like from beta to being that 'other guy' to now? What changes did you make? How were you meeting all your women
bluefingerblue 5y ago
I'll try to give a TLDR.
Was a college athlete. Got girls occasionally just by being decent looking. Hung out with the guys who got all the girls (i.e. the naturals). I wasn't one of them. Had terrible game and no balls when it came to women. Was always acting in their frame. I was very supplicating.
Actually went through a three year dry spell after college. Was working 100 hours/wk at the time though, so didn't really have time for girls. Anyway was miserable, so I quit that job. Got back into lifting but was aimless in terms of career for a while. In the meantime I found redpill about a year and a half ago. It became my side obsession. Read everything. Practiced. Made a bunch of mistakes. Tried to learn from them. Kept improving.
Been through like three or four iterations of plates. In the first iteration, I developed a serious oneitis. About as bad as it gets. I was obsessed with this girl. She's still the best consistent hook up I've had, but I wasnt prepared for the challenges she presented. She hit me with every trick in the book, and I failed each and every time. It was terrible but also very motivating once it finally ended. I thought I knew the redpill material, but its a little different when you're in terminal oneitis mode. Either way that experience was very useful in hindsight.
Each time I've gotten a new iteration of plates, they've been slightly better and I have much more control over the frame. At first I was exclusively meeting girls online. I'll still use online occasionally, but now it's more from random shit during the day. Chicks that work at businesses I occasionally go to, chicks from the gym, interactions on the street, etc.
I've made all the basic changes -- my physique is top notch, I'm well groomed, good haircut, stylish clothes, etc. Spent a lot of time working on my social skills. I have a solid grasp of how to build attraction and comfort early on. I used to hate small talk, but forced myself to keep practicing it. Now that I'm good at it, I somewhat enjoy it. Just landed my dream job, so finances getting on point again. Also spent a lot of time understanding and internalizing frame. I feel like we always operate in my frame now.
For example, the other week this girl tells me she has the flu and was wondering if we could reschedule. She texts me this week and says "hey stranger how was your week?" I refused to answer that gay question directly. Bring her into your frame instead. I said "who's this? Just kidding you back to full speed?" Then she said "yesss, when can I see youuuu." Do you understand what I did there and why it worked? Making sure you always operate in your frame is an important key to going from "the other guy" to now. Also much better at sex now, they cum all the time, and that helps (sex god method).
I'm sure I'm leaving shit out but I feel like this is more than enough to work with.
izzyinjurious 5y ago
I always just did the who's this because I'm a playful asshole, but you stating to put them into our frame makes a lot more sense and gives me a different perspective. here, take my upvote.
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
This too shall pass.
[deleted] 5y ago
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grabthecactus 5y ago
Regarding point 3, is it only an inappropriate investment if its been previously stated that you were only looking for something casual?
[deleted] 5y ago
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grabthecactus 5y ago
I see, I got caught up on the word forgot to look at the overall message. Much appreciated
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bluefingerblue 5y ago
This is probably true. I've made a lot of improvements over the past year and a half. Plus just landed a new high paying job in a cool field. I think that bumps my SMV by at least a point. I'm still mentally adjusting to the new me.
Yeah I guess. I've taken enough L's to know what these girls are getting themselves into. I feel bad because I've been on the other side of it, but I doubt any of the girls that handed me L's felt bad about it like I do.
True. It's ultimately their choice. I was just wondering if telling them "I'm open to a relationship but it would take me a while to get there" is leading them on. They usually ask about it after the first time we have sex, and at that point I usually don't have enough information to definitively rule them out. So I think I can stand by my response as being truthful at the time.
Yeah I never really liked this idea. I threw out it there but there's a reason why I haven't done it. It's actually fun speaking in power talk and womanese.
This is the take home message from the comments. Don't know why I didn't think of this on my own.
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Thanks for the comment.
WiredT 5y ago
Dont feel guilty, they only treat you good BECAUSE they want you. The second that changes you’re a nobody lol
sexykavu 5y ago
man, as long as you're honest and upfront about your intentions, you have absolutely nothing to be guilty about. Think about how many guys these girls led on and still do lead on, think bout all the orbiters and 'friends' they have that they damn well know are into them. You think they stay up at night worrying themselves about it?
bluefingerblue 5y ago
I feel guilty partly because I'll tell them early on that I'm not opposed to a relationship, but it would just take a while for me to get there. Once I rule them out in my head, I feel guilty that they're still trying to earn my commitment. I know they don't give a fuck when the roles are reversed, but I also generally hold myself to a higher standard than your average woman.
sexykavu 5y ago
then tell them it's not going to go anywhere and let them go? I dont see what the issue is
person8445 5y ago
I feel what you are feeling sometimes. I think its because I try to hold myself to a high standard - I get one life, I want to live deliberately and exhibit a set of traits that I deem desirable; one of which is to not hurt other people.
Would a women try to hurt me? Or course. But why the fuck would I use that as my benchmark? I'll try to not hurt them if I can.
You geel guilty because you have the potential to cause pain, which is understandable. I don't have a solution.
bluefingerblue 5y ago
Exactly dude. I don’t have have a strong ethical code, but I do have a strong moral code. I don’t like intentionally causing people pain. I feel like that’s not a good way to live. That’s why I’m struggling with this.
Btw the redpill shouldn’t describe itself as amoral. It’s not about not having morals (i.e. an individuals own principles regarding right and wrong). It’s about being unconcerned with ethics (i.e. rules provided by an external source like our feminist-centric society).
person8445 5y ago
I read amoral as "you figure out the morality" rather than "immoral".
But yea I struggle with it also. At the end of the day if you are a high value male, women will be disappointed if they can't lock you down. I think all you can do is be honest (within the bounds of your ability to pull and stop plates from breaking). I don't lie to plates, but I don't tell them I will never date them either. I'm kind of ok with that.
bluefingerblue 5y ago
This is a stupid hypothetical but how would you answer if she said “would you ever be open to an exclusive relationship eventually?” Knowing that you’ll never be interested in an exclusive relationship with her for whatever reason, how would you respond? Keep it vague...along the lines of we’ll see? Or straight up say no?
person8445 5y ago
Yea difficult one. Normally, there would be at least like a 1pct chance that I would maybe be interested in that; so i wouldn't feel too guilty saying something like "thats moving way too quick I'm just enjoying how things are now" and if she pushes just "we will see". But yea basically non commital. I think if she was obviously infatuated with me I might be a bit more overt and say "im not looking for a relationship" - this would risk breaking the plate, but also hurt her less.