21M here and a FWB (18F) of a month or so wants me to go to a wedding this weekend. She knows I’m free Saturday and asked me to go with her. I could decline because I’m a recovering alcoholic and weddings always have drinks around. Should I go? Is that too serious? It’s a family friends wedding and she said her parents would be there.
Other questions-
-Is it a shit test when a fwb says “you’re the first guy to ever make me orgasm”? Followed by talking about how she’s sore after having sex. I think I did well handling it I’m just confused because she’s not the first to say the sore part but the orgasming part is the first I’ve ever heard that one. She was calling her best friend after we had sex and was excitedly asking if what she experienced was an orgasm. I would think you’d know if you did or didn’t. Thoughts here?
-She’s always saying “I’m the first guy to do ___” wether it’s in bed or small things like cooking dinner. For dinner I respond with “If you weren’t here I’d be cooking anyways but next time it’s your turn” she’s also a decent cook. Thoughts here? Are these short sayings shit tests?
Fairly new to trp so I appreciate the input. Sorry for the long post. The wedding thing is most important due to being on a certain day. The rest is just if you feel like answering.
asktrp4433 5y ago
>I’m the first guy to do ___
Usually means fuck-all. But since she called her friend I'm inclined to think she's legit with that.
Lots of girls hang out with nerds that don't know how to fuck.
EramSumEro 5y ago
Don't go to the wedding if you're worried about relapsing. Don't even put yourself in that position if you're not absolutely sure you can abstain. No one else is going to hold you accountable for your actions. Does she know you're a recovering alcoholic? You could tell her about your past but might risk devaluing yourself in the process, it just depends on how you go about it.
As for your other questions, I'm not getting the sense these statements of hers are shit tests. It seems like you have proven your value to her through your actions, and these statements of hers are coming from a place of youth and lack of experience. This is all probably still novel to her as she's only 18.
thrwaway10019 5y ago
She knows I’m a recovering alcoholic and is supportive over that. I’m not concerned about relapsing at the wedding because I’m in an outpatient rehab currently so I’ll definitely get caught and it’s not worth the trouble.
I definitely gained value throughout the process of explaining how I am a recovering alcoholic because I put a spin on it to make it a benefit to myself and others around me. Which is 100% true. In no way has it negatively effected my life or mental state. All positives so far.
Last paragraph of yours explains how I was thinking but I was more so on the fence about it which is why I made the post including that. Thank you.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Great work setting limits on your addiction, I absolutely struggle with it, only you know what is good for you.
thrwaway10019 5y ago
Thanks man. Addictions a bitch and I’m definitely cross addicting to cigarettes more than I’d like to but I just got some free nicotine patches from my providers in my alcohol program. I plan on trying them out.
If you’re looking to fix or better yourself addiction wise watch the film “pleasure unwoven”. I think it’s in YouTube. Kinda tough to sit through but has some great knowledge. It’s followed by a film called “memo to self” by the same guy. Same cringeyness to it but also just as knowledgeable. I recommend it to anyone trying to quit.
FixYourselfFirst 5y ago
If you want to go/not go to the wedding, decide for yourself. Don't let FWB pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. It's not like you are BF/GF.
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thrwaway10019 5y ago
I’m more concerned with going and meeting family/ escalating a FWB into an early LTR when I don’t want one right now. The way it’s going now is good and I don’t want it to start progressing and get weird.