I realize that after years of avoid problems, rather than facing them, I'm not as well-equipped to deal with stuff as I used to be.
I used to have somewhat of a temper, and quick with a come-back if anybody talked shit to me. I even used to have women approach me somewhat, even if mostly just to say "hi."
Then I got into some trouble and somehow decided a "blue pill" lifestyle was the answer. Basically monk mode, but with a side of white-knighting and approval-seeking.
Anyway, since researching TRP, I realize that sometimes I'm sad when I'm supposed to be ANGRY. Or else I'm sad when I'm supposed to be HAPPPY. I feel like just realizing this is progress, but a part of me senses that I might need guidance to "reprogram" how these things play out sometime.
It used to be that I would not let anything negative bother me, whether or not I said anything or did anything. I sort of gave up I guess. Trying to focus on getting back on track. Shit has been bothering me, but I'm still going through the motions of being stoic and stern. Some people have called me out about it. It's like I'm telling myself I'm not bothered by the bullshit, but I still feel bothered by the bullshit.
Anxiety used to be a huge problem for me also, but now I don't know. Everything seems backwards or upside down or fucked off sideways.
Edit: And, I forgot, people are fucking annoying the shit out of me.
I'm just trying to walk my own path and be reasonable, and people have to fuck with me. Fucking up my food order, taking too long to count my change and messing it up, cutting me off in traffic, driving too slow, being on the phone in the turning lane sitting in traffic when you should be going, walking slow while texting at the store.
All the sudden I'm noticing people are fucking stupid. Everybody. I know I made mistakes when I started my first job. But now it seems like everybody is on the first day of rheir first job and the stupidity is bothersome. There's still nice people who know what's going on, but even as I make progress I sometimes notice some A-hole fucking off out of the corner of my eye. It's like all the sudden only the people I know already have any clue what's going on.
It's like yes, I want my change in full at the gas station. Are there that many people telling this cashier they don't want change? Or is he singling me out just to waste my time by asking me stupid questions? And then getting it wrong to further piss me off?
I'm done holding back and being a "zen atudent" steeped in equaniminity or whatever. Time to start yelling at stupid people.
360_no_scope_upvote 5y ago
Cute blog post, even better hamster for not being responsible for your own emotions
professor_mcamateur 5y ago
gee thanks. what color is associated with anger?
is it red? is that red pill or not?
yall are on and on about being stoic. i say its ok to get your point across when you need to be heard.
besides, this sub has deteriorated in quality of responses in the short time i've posted here.
rus9384 5y ago
Yeah, matrix screenwriters thought about anger when they colored the pill red.
I agree the red pill is a low quality now. Don't know what it used to be. But now it's full of dummies enjoying the decline, shit tests and dating pussies, not girls.
Rubbish27 5y ago
Calm seas don't make a good sailor.
A boat is safest in the harbor, but that's not what they are made for.
You only gain confidence once you are done doing what you are scared of.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Have you contributed to society in any truly meaningful way?
​
professor_mcamateur 5y ago
probably more than you ever will.but if you want to strictly talk about wage-dollars as "valuable contribution to society," then yes I have been earning wages since I was 14 and been through a lot since then.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
I don't understand this paragraph. Why would you let other people convince you not to be stoic?
professor_mcamateur 5y ago
That's the whole point. I used to be awesome at that and shit just wore me down over the years. Depression, anxiety. Shit started to bother me that hasn't since what feels like forever.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Maybe quit putting yourself in situations where you feel the need to be so stoic?
professor_mcamateur 5y ago
how about this: since when is being stoic the main virtue?
it's not very red-pilled in my mind.
people might say the way some dude knocked the other guy out like it didn't mean anything - was stoic.
almost as an afterthought: the main focus is not to act stoic. fuck that. clarify that theory.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Yes it is. Allows you to maintain and control frame.
professor_mcamateur 5y ago
well apparently i never did anything above and beyond being stoic.
"frame" is a new concept for me. as far back as high school i was doing "monk mode"
to be honest, i have no clue what to talk about to women, especially if im interested in them. so i just talk about random bullshit and sometimes its just OK
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Talk to them like they're humans that you just happen to have a romantic interest in. Read the sidebar in the main sub.
thrwy75479 5y ago
I think that you were repressing your emotions too much. It's okay to be bothered by things, this is normal. And, anger can sometimes be good. It's important to express that anger in constructive and meaningful ways, before it turns into bitterness.
Being stoic doesn't mean you try your best not to have emotions at all—this will make you go insane, or at the least lead to anxiety and depression—it means being in control of your emotions instead of letting them control you. Different people deal with their emotions in different ways, and you should try different things to see what would be the best ways for you to express yourself or release any pent up emotions. Remember, it's also okay to complain sometimes. Just don't turn it into a life mission. It's human. Otherwise, people will have no idea what you like or dislike.
Your being annoyed by every little thing means there's something (or multiple things) underneath that is/are bothering you. It would be beneficial for you to identify those things and work on how to deal with it. Maybe it's as simple as trying to be more assertive and letting people know when you've been wronged.
Lastly, depending on your age, this could also be hormonal. Over time, testosterone levels decline, and we can become more grumpy.