1yr LTR. We hadn't seen each other for a week, she came over yesterday. We fucked, had dinner, went to bed. This morning I wanted round two. I started caressing her, she started giving me a handjob. Then I started playing with her pussy but she was completely dry. I used some spit and lightly touched her to turn her on, but she said "I'm not turned on at all" and moved my hand away. That ruined it for me and I stopped her from giving me a handjob. I then withdrew attention (started working on some stuff on my laptop) as I felt rejected and didn't want to reward that behavior.
She started pestering me, trying to get my attention back. I replied to her but didn't give much. She started asking "why are you sad? What is wrong with you?" and similar things, to which I replied I was fine. She kept doing that for a while then left my house for work. She came back 2 minutes later, crying and asking why I was acting so different. I told her to not cry and that I just felt off. She begged me for a kiss, I gave her one and she left.
Is her reaction positive or negative? Will her attraction to me be strengthened by it (dread), or diminished due to the bad emotions?
Should I avoid withdrawing attention if she rejects me in the future? Is it perceived as being beta/emotional? Or is it just a right consequence of not rewarding her?
rad_dynamic 5y ago
You are retarded bro. She turned you down verbally and you felt rejected so you had a little tantrum like a little bitch. You should've at least tried to turn her on. I would've said "not yet you're not. I know you want it" and kissed her with a big cheeky grin. I would then tease her beyond comprehension, then just stop escalation and be like you're going to have to wait now. She will go crazy horny 10000x and now you can do whatever you want, call her a fucking slut, she is now yours.
"Why are you acting so differently?" = Why the fuck are you being a bitch and not the man I thought you was? You aren't even willing to try and have fun in bed and attempt to turn me on?
Just because your dick was hard and her pussy wasn't wet doesn't mean she's denying you sex, it means that you are terrible in bed and do not understand the concept of turning somebody on.
ChadTheWaiter100 5y ago
This is so true. I think we need an article dedicated- how to turn a woman on because so many men are clueless to this.
dani098 5y ago
he did not have a tantrum, he "with drew attention" Its the TRP way.
s\
stokacanec2 5y ago
She turned me down after I tried turning her on. I caressed her body, kissed her, teased her pussy, and tried stimulating her. She did turn me down verbally twice before I stopped (I ignored the first time).
Is it really normal that I have to try hard to turn on my LTR? My understanding was that she should be turned on easily if she's into me. That's why I felt rejected, my brain instantly assumes that she's lost attraction.
I don't want to feel like I'm begging for her pussy or trying hard to get her turned on. I read SGM but there wasn't anything on how to deal with situations like these. Can you recommend some material to understand what I am doing wrong and how my mindset should change in these scenarios?
c4toyourdoornobeef 5y ago
mate you spat on your finger and rubbed her pussy. that's not gonna turn her on.
ConsciousnessisaGift 5y ago
Are you gunna have to try and turn on a woman you see on a regular basis?
..... yeah. The novelty is gone, and now she knows you pick your boogers.
Of course you have to be attractive to your ltr, what the fuck are you babbling about?
xesup2 5y ago
Is not matter of novelty. You always have to turn on a woman, or she can't enjoy sex.
ConsciousnessisaGift 5y ago
Sure, but novelty is the best aphrodisiac there is, for both men and women.
Rkingpin 5y ago
I understand why you felt rejected but you are misunderstanding the use of attention withdrawal
She did not flat out say no sex
You needed to turn her on. People forget female arousal works different
You cant just stick a finger in and expect her to be wet
Dominate your bitch. Tease, grab, spank , bite. Release the beast son
phatphreak666 5y ago
Yes that's it...
lvl100life 5y ago
Should have let her continue the handjob tbh.
She showed signs that she wanted to please you even if her body wasn't playing ball just yet.
Guide her, tease her, talk dirty.
Go with the flow and escalate, slowly.
asktrp4433 5y ago
imo you fucked up and should have done something to entertain yourself - or work on your laptop - until she's more awake. some girls legit just get dry af when they're sleepy.
Rudeyyyy 5y ago
Spit doesn’t work. Learn basic anatomy. I don’t have to insult you because I think everyone else has done it already here.
MisterRoid 5y ago
I don't get why people give you so much shit. The way I look at it letting your girlfriend deny you sex is a slippery slope. Let it happen once and she's going to be more likely to turn you down in the future. I don't think you should even pretend to be fine with it, because this is not good girl behavior. She should have sex with you or give you a blowjob and take the load in her mouth to please you even if she's not turned on. Don't listen to the beta cuck telling you to settle for a handjob (how pathetic).
RedKnightTime 5y ago
She didn't reject you. You rejected her. You're the one who refused to get a handjob here, and then you had a little tantrum and acted like a little faggot. No frame whatsoever.
Didn't want to reward what behavior? That it was first thing in the fucking morning, and you got butthurt that you "carressing her" wasn't enough to make her gush out her cooch all over the sheets or something?
All you did was show her that you're a butthurt little faggot who will whine like a bitch when things don't go your way.
Negative. A better way for you to handle it would have been to give her a kiss on the forehead and tell her something like, "It's cool babydoll," and then pull her over to lay on you, let her lay on you and jerk you off. If you want to turn down a handjob, just pull her over on you anyway and then take her hand away and lay it on your chest.
Dread does not increase attraction. Dread is not something you "do." Dread is a side effect of being attractive and the natural things that happen to a man when he is attractive.
Know what's not attractive? Being butthurt that her pussy wasn't wet just because you wanted to fuck her.
She didn't reject you. I'm not sure what behavior here you think you're punishing or some shit. All you did was show a complete lack of abundance and a complete lack of frame.
stokacanec2 5y ago
Thanks for the analysis. It helps me understand.
I think I internalized TRP in the completely wrong way and it's ruining my relationship. I can't help getting rid of the following thought processes in my mind that start from TRP principles:
"She is always wet for an Alpha" -> she doesn't get wet for me -> she doesn't see me as an Alpha -> I get upset and think about her cheating on me
"Women give sex, men give attention" -> she doesn't give me sex -> she doesn't get my attention
"When facing LMR, withdraw attention" -> as above
Logically these steps make sense to me, but I probably misunderstood what TRP was trying to say. I would appreciate your input on how I can see these principles under a more positive light.
I felt like acting everything was fine would have encouraged her to reject me more often in the future. As if she thought "I can get his attention without providing sex, so why should I bother?". This is why I didn't want to make her think it was OK to refuse sex and have my attention.
How can I recover from this situation? Act as if nothing happened?
How can I stop this toxic ways of thinking?
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htbf 5y ago
You can stop by posting threads like this and take the advice to heart.
You understand how you fucked up and that's a big step.
whiffofass 5y ago
Certainly feels like it increases attraction. Even in my own case I didn't give two fucks about a plate until she applied some dread game. I felt like I wanted her again
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RedKnightTime 5y ago
"Dread game" isn't a thing.
Dread isn't something you do. That's what I mean when I say "dread does not increase attraction."
Dread is an increase in attraction. It's an effect, not an action.
ConsciousnessisaGift 5y ago
You’re confusing push pull dynamics and dread.
You wanted her cause she didn’t want you, as soon as she wanted you, you’d want her less
whiffofass 5y ago
Pretty much. It's silly. I can't even be mad at women for losing attraction or friendzoneing me for getting oneitis/going beta
civilizedfrog 5y ago
By doing this, you showed that you get butthurt when you don't get sex.
tikitheman 5y ago
Dude stop asking for sex. This bitch knows what your silly little caresses mean
Your caresses are essentially asking for permission to fuck her.
IssaBigLife 5y ago
She didn`t reject you, she just wasn`t feeling it at the moment. If she does it multiple times then that`s a big red flag. Next time she`s dry eat her out, she`ll be flooding in no time.
stokacanec2 5y ago
She does it from time to time. Some times I can turn her on by persisting, other times it ends up similarly to what I described in the OP.
I don't understand why she is not consistently turned on by me. Every time this happens I just get more and more paranoid
IssaBigLife 5y ago
Find something that works, cause if you don`t find a way to satisfy her sexually you`re gonna have a big problem.
stoic_style 5y ago
She's a women and this is an LTR, not a plate. Women's arousal will change throughout the month and due to life in general. Don't be insecure about it. If there are more flags then the occasional lack of arousal then you should start to be concerned.
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cdogg75 5y ago
I think you're getting your gf confused with your hand.
stokacanec2 5y ago
I think that I incorrectly internalized TRP and that Twitter is ruining me. All I see on TRP and Twitter manosphere is stuff like:
"She is always horny for the right guy"
"If you aren't fucking her you're her orbiter"
I also see a few people such as Andrew Tate with harems of extremely hot girls that do whatever they say. I think about all that shit and then my GF doesn't even get wet for me, so it makes me feel like a failure.
How can I stop this way of thinking?
htbf 5y ago
How old are you? How long have you been exposed to TRP?
Thotasaurus_Rex 5y ago
There's a fine line between training a women and getting pissy you didn't get your dick wet.
In my experience, nothing gets a girl hornier than breaking up with her.
I never bluff but everytime I've broken up with a girl they've immediately wanted me to fuck them and do as many dirty things as possible.
If she knows your withdrawal of attention is just temporary because you're blue balled she will lose respect for you.
1 day of no sex is forgivable, when it becomes a trend then you consider breaking things off.
rexchan91 5y ago
seen fine on me, my presumption is she is in her long-term provisioning phase where she is looking for a beta to cry on, and you just pass her shit test by walk away from her bs. this is just my opinion anywhere
Kommanderdude 5y ago
Tl;dr Op is a barely functioning retard.
You’re doing it wrong.