I met up with a chick from OkCupid. She picked a pretty high-end restaurant. I usually aim only to get drinks, but it was near her place and that was where I wanted to end my night. Everything went fine, drinks, laughter, making out, a little fingerbanging, etc. When the bill comes, however, it was not cheap. I ask her to kick in what amounted to about 20%, just so I didn't have to pay the more-than-expected full-freight. She flat-out refuses to do -- "I don't pay for drinks"..."Men should do this"...blah blah blah. It's not like when we talked I was like 'hey, let me take you out.' No, this bitch straight-up just shows up, eats and drinks like no tomorrow, and expects me to pay. Well, fuck that. I was pretty insistent that she help pay something and she refuses, point-blank. I leave to go to the restroom, slip out the back door, and leave her with the entire bill. I go home and masturbate. She sends me a couple angry texts, but whatever. My question is: How would you guys have handled this? Am I in the wrong here? I'm not sure if this was the best play...
burneraccount11122
Posted 9y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 2.8K Views
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AranMakor 9y ago
For what it is worth, I've had similar experiences with females. Had one say, upon the group we were with talking about getting shots, say "I don't buy shots. If someone wants to buy me one, I'll drink it, but I don't buy."
I think you did mostly the right thing. I would have split the check into two tabs and paid the server for what you had. Based off what you posted, this was an entitled human who has done this before and someone let her get away with it. The buck stops here.
Espada18 9y ago
This is why I don't do online dating, shit like this happens way more than often.
mbillion 9y ago
P U S S Y - you should not have walked out - that is lame as fuck.
I guess without context its hard to say but it sounds like you may have not handled your front end work. When I am taking a girl out and expect her to pay for her share I at least mention it.
TBH it sounds like in your thirst you were talking a big game but when the bill came your little wallet hit you
burneraccount11122 9y ago
We didn't chat much up-front. I close bitches all the time sating, 'Great profile, lets grab a drink.' But this shit -- I wasn't prepared for it and didn't handle it well.
abcd_z 9y ago
Don't go on dinner dates. Arrange to spend time with the woman in a cheaper way that isn't as likely to trigger an unwarranted entitlement complex. Go to a museum, or go bike-riding at a park, or (my personal favorite) just invite her back to your place.
vicious_armbar 9y ago
It was the best play once you agreed to meet her at the restaurant and ordered drinks. But don't put yourself in that position in the first place. If you're setting up the date, and you're expected to pay, then you should be picking the location.
Ex: "Glad to hear you're free tomorrow night. Meet me at XXX. Does 8 pm work for you?" If she gives you any push back then sell the location hard. If she keeps on giving you a crap, and insisting on an expensive place; or dinner instead of just drinks cut the line. I like my women submissive and obedient. I'm not interested in ball busting gold diggers. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit!
oldredder 9y ago
That's a beta blue-pill expectation & it's up to us to hold frame as real men and BREAK that expectation into tiny shards of tears, recognition & her paying for her own fucking bill. Men are not ATMs for women.
Period.
jacks_not_surprised 9y ago
Genuis
oldredder 9y ago
Fuck that.
Right then & there I know she would have no place in my life - I'm not her ATM - and I would say "Men don't like being ATMs for women. I don't like it. Is that your final answer?"
You're not in the wrong whatsoever.
RedSunBlue 9y ago
This is where you fucked up.
Good job on the fingerbanging though. In a fancy restaurant no less.
burneraccount11122 9y ago
I didn't know what part of town she was in or I would have found a place. But this -- I'll never let a bitch pick a place again. Once burnt, twice shy.
[deleted] 9y ago
Well only if she doesn't expect to be treated equally in other areas
favours_of_the_moon 9y ago
Hahaha, fuck that bitch.
You were perfectly willing to show 80%. You were being completely cool. She picked a place she KNEW was over priced.
Shit test, PASSED.
Piroko 9y ago
You gave her your number. Otherwise I see no obvious problems.
TheRealMewt 9y ago
You do realize that once you call or text anybody after you get their number, they have your number in return, right?
soapbubble 9y ago
Block your id. Only *82 people you know imo.
oldredder 9y ago
or skiptracers. Or those who just flat out hack a phone.
That's what burner-phones are for. okcupid, plenty of ham, tinder, use a burner phone number / SIM.
Piroko 9y ago
There are ways of mitigating that.
Psiposa 9y ago
really, how?
Piroko 9y ago
(Grin)
[deleted] 9y ago
She stated that she was going to screw you over, you just denied her the opportunity to do so.
[deleted] 9y ago
Stick with the local coffee joint and arrive early so you already have your drink paid for.
[deleted] 9y ago
just pay, bang her, never see her again
[deleted] 9y ago
What the fuck? Firstly since she arranged the location she was inviting you on the date and should have paid, unless you were a pussy and asked her to suggest somewhere? Which is always a massive mistake, an alpha always takes the lead and arranges every place.
Secondly contributing 20%? You should have told her 50% or paid everything yourself, asking for a puny 20% contribution just makes you look like a low resource beta poorfag.
rebuildingMyself 9y ago
You and I both know that rule only applies to men so that women can hamster their parasitic ways.
burneraccount11122 9y ago
Fuck it, live and learn. I've just never had a bitch act like this.
throwdownshowdownman 9y ago
Lmao I laughed once you said "slip out the back" ballsy.
Humankeg 9y ago
Telling a girl to put in her share (even if its 20%) doesn't make you look like a beta bitch.
[deleted] 9y ago
Asking for her to pay her share is ok, but it can't be anything less than her full share or it screams "poorfag". If you really don't pay for girls drinks out of principle and not because you can't afford it all, why are you paying ANY part of HER bill? You either do it 50/50, or do it all and never call again.
Humankeg 9y ago
I said if her share of the bill happens to be 20%, the percent is arbitrary. I either do separate checks, pay cash for myself, or each of us take turns buying rounds.
I don't put up with cheap women, entitled women, and I have too much respect for women to treat them as common whores and escorts by paying their bills, and always feel as if I dodge a bullet if they never speak to me again after they have to pay.
ThePrince_ 9y ago
1) don't let her choose the venue, and failing that don't let it be an expensive restaurant.
2) I think by asking her to chip in 20% you're making it less likely for her to pay. At 20%, you're offering to subsidise her food/drinks but not shout it. A strange situation. If you put down cash for just the things you're paying for then you're not trying to buy her off and you can say you don't buy drinks for girls.
In this situation, I would almost just advocate taking the hit on the 20% and learn from it if you thought you had the bang incoming. However, what you did was way funnier but probably not ideal way of handling it going into the future.
Ultimately, prevention is better than cure.
AlphaAsFAQ 9y ago
The real solution. Next time you go to a fancy restaurant on a first date, you state up front that you will be splitting the bill 50/50.
Also, did everyone miss this:
Hahaha, brilliant.
burneraccount11122 9y ago
I wouldn't have had a problem picking up the bill if it hadn't been so much. I just wanted a little relief because I hadn't planned on dropping that much.
[deleted] 9y ago
Splitting the bill 50/50 should be at the minimum your standard operating procedure. Save the money! You don't owe bitches anything. If you insist on paying for a woman as an extra boost to layage chance, establish maximum limits you're willing to pay (say $50 total for meals & drinks) and pick dining spots accordingly.
GC0W30 9y ago
With all of my OKC dates, I just flat-out tell them all of my dates are dutch until the first wedding anniversary.
7 dates in, not one complaint or argument.
[deleted] 9y ago
Can you provide an example of how/when you do this please?
GC0W30 9y ago
I introduce myself, she does her intro, we do about 1-4 pages of back and forth messages being witty, or whatever, then I say "How about the [smalltown coffee shop with kino-friendly seating] on Smith Road at 7 tomorrow night?" Once she says yes, I literally type: "Just so you know, I always go dutch until the first wedding anniversary."
Incidentally, on my date from Sunday I forgot to tell her. When we ordered lunch [the town had NO good coffee shops or bars] I let the waitress know it was a split check. She seemed actually enamored of me, probably aroused, and amazed at my sense of humor and intelligence.
A bitch didn't say anything, but I did get a text back the next day when I tried to book her for a Friday night downtown drinking/ taxi/ fucking night that told me she didn't want to go out again. I drilled back and forth to find out the reason, because her stated reasons were bullshit. She seemed most hung up on my not paying for her ($9 with tip) lunch. I am quite glad to be rid of her. Honestly, I may have blown it up by proposing that kind of partying for a second date, but she seemed pretty worked up at the end of date 1. I'm booked heavy enough that IDGAF.
So, yeah, put that shit in at the front end.
[deleted] 9y ago
Ah, ok. I didn't realise that you meant you told them it was going to be Dutch before meeting in person. Cheers
[deleted] 9y ago
dutch?
edit** I just googled it.
Each person pays for themselves.
hairynavel 9y ago
Tell the server you're splitting the check.
Humankeg 9y ago
While I don't have a problem sticking an entitled bitch with the check, I do worry she would leave with out paying at all. I would definitely tell the waiter it's a split bill so that they can deal with her shit, not me.
Then go home and masterbate.
j0hnan0n 9y ago
Get up to use the bathroom, find your server on the way. Ask to speak with him/her where the chick can't see you talking, and have him split the bill then and there. Pay your half and leave before her half is delivered.
burneraccount11122 9y ago
Yeah. That's how I should have played it, and before we even ordered. She did pay though, according to her angry texts.
[deleted] 9y ago
Then go home and masterbate.
oldredder 9y ago
so now you know she fully had the cash to do so and still expected you to foot the bill.
Think about that. Let it sink in.
She's a parasite.
[deleted] 9y ago
Two strangers meeting for the first time should expect to split the bill. Whether that's 50/50, or pay for what you ate or drank, it doesn't really matter, but unless it's a business transaction and the other person is a client, they should pay their share. But this bitch wouldn't even pay 20% of it? Fuck her. You did the exact right thing by sticking her with the check.
[deleted] 9y ago
You did the complete right thing. If there was no hint or implication you were "taking her out" there was absolutely no justification for her expectation.
Leaving her with the entire bill was sticking it to her rotten baby, I like that. You could have paid your share at the back without her knowing and left, but the fact she had to pay for yours too maybe gave her some of her own medicine.
The fact that it was close to her home probably means she goes there with different guys pretty often, so just think of the poor suckers she's managed to get free meals/drinks off of.
Humankeg 9y ago
Paying cash for every drink each time it is brought is best. But you could have easily told the waiter st the end that its a split bill. I do that every time now when I pay card.
DocTomoe 9y ago
Don't make someone else suffer your problems. You took her out, you deal with the consequences.
Or you give the staff a very generous tip (and usually, I'm a strict opponent of tipping).
Humankeg 9y ago
Its THEIR establishment. It's on them to get their money. It's not my responsibility to make sure my date pays for them self.
And you must not be american, for in the U.S. tipping is not something that is not bothered with. Waiters and waitresses make this living wage off tips. I believe in Europe tipping is not a common thing. Proper etiquette allows you to skip or provide a low tip if the service was bad.
DocTomoe 9y ago
In which you brought a chaotic element. In Europe, when we cause a car crash, we don't leave and let the locals deal with the fallout. You are willfully creating a hostile working environment for them, you better show your gratitude.
And yes, I'm not American. Quasi-mandatory tipping is one of the reasons I would never get into a restaurant in the States.
winged_venus 9y ago
what???? dude, you are so offbase. you're blaming him for the woman's behavior. and making him responsible to other people for her actions. no. just no. HE didn't cause the car crash. HE didn't even drive. He's a bystander, and she runs off after she crashes the car and points at him to pay for it.
Humankeg 9y ago
They are providing a service, and taking my money. As long as I behave, I do not owe them anything other than the money for the goods I consumed. I could care less about the actions of some stranger I am meeting there.
Could_Care_Corrector 9y ago
"couldn't care less"
DocTomoe 9y ago
Their service is serving you food. Their service is not being the dumping ground for your failed attempt at pickup.
Remember: TRP does not mean being an asshole.
Think of it in a different manner: If I bring trash to the junk yard, I pay for leaving it there.
Humankeg 9y ago
No. Just no. Not my responsibility to make sure patrons pay their bilss. Whether its my family friends, co workers etc. Its the bar's job.
Madkids23 9y ago
Actually, in my area of the US we don't pay to leave garbage at the junk yard. It's free.
DocTomoe 9y ago
ಠ_ಠ
Madkids23 9y ago
I also disagree with what you were saying. Each individual is responsible only for themselves. If you meet a woman at an establishment, it's not your responsibility to pay for her, especially if there was no implication that you were going to.
[deleted] 9y ago
Fucking gold that you straight left.
I woulda done the same.
A++
CalvinHobb3s 9y ago
lmao I love that you slipped out the back. I died.
Entershikari 9y ago
Whenever a girl ask me for a drink I go :
" You didn't do anything to deserve it "
joshecf 9y ago
Damn it. There was this one time with my brother that a couple of girls we had met asked us to buy them a drink. This is what I should have responded!
I_Cum_Blood_666 9y ago
I just ask them to buy me a drink first.
[deleted] 9y ago
Lmao, care to elaborate on some of the responses you've received? Do you smile when you say it?
throwaway-aa2 9y ago
This bitch probably believes in gender equality too. Fuck her.
I know it sucks, but split the bill up front. Yeah that means you have to deal with what you dealt with at the start of the date... but isn't TRP about being a man, not putting pussy on a pedestal, saying what you want...
I_Cum_Blood_666 9y ago
"I want all of the benefits of being equal to a man but I also want to be put on a pedestal because I'm different and more valuable than men are so they should take care of me like the princess I am."
[deleted] 9y ago
Only thing wrong was that you left through the back door. Ideally you should've:
I_Cum_Blood_666 9y ago
One night at a club, i talked shit about this stuck up girl to her friend. She came up to me and asked if it was true that i was talking shit and i said yes and talked shit to her face. She asks if i want to drink with her. I oblige. Grabbed her hand and walked through dance floor with her up to bar and she just stands there. I let her know that i would not be buying the first round. She throws a bitch fit and stomps off. I find her and stand behind her. She proceeds to grind on my denim cock. Five feet from her alpha black boyfriend who "allows me to dance as long as he can see". Gold digging whores... thanks for reading.
aOs_Student 9y ago
As soon as you let her pick the location she had you pegged as betabucks. Live and learn to be more assertive.
bsutansalt 9y ago
More to the point, NO DINNER DATES. Save that shit for when you're already dating.
[deleted] 9y ago
I always used the angle they can come to my place and cook me dinner(yes even on a first date) That way they can "show off their good cooking skills" give them a little challenge. It weeded out the princesses that couldn't cook or find it beneath them to cook. Plus having my bed 15 feet away didn't hurt.
[deleted] 9y ago
that'd be cool if u want a chick with good qualities. honestly I just go for the movie at my place cause just wanna fuck and dont care about her ability to cook
McGauth925 9y ago
I like what you did. The only thing that might have been better - and I have NO clue as to how to accomplish it - would be to leave money for half the bill.
Strangeclouds420 9y ago
Did you respond to the angry texts at all?
burneraccount11122 9y ago
Nope. Not a one. New date with a new girl tomorrow.
Strangeclouds420 9y ago
Good. You're better than me. I woulda sent back a snarky reply or something hoping that she'd learn a thing or too. Pointless I know but that type of justice is effortless
burneraccount11122 9y ago
I used to be the same way. But one day you just kind of realize: I don't need these bitches, I've got my life on lock, and I'm content with myself. It truly is a weight of your shoulders to think, 'Whatever, ho, I'm good with or without you.' And to the point where it's not a front, but how you actually feel. It's important to remember, there are far less HVM than dirty whores out there. Some chick might fuck you up for a bit, but another bitch always -- always -- comes along. Keep the faith, my friend.
SeekingTheWay 9y ago
You insist on splitting the check.
Back in my BP days, I was on a third date with a girl, paying for drinks the two times before, still no progress. The third time I said to myself "Fuck this!". It was in a restaurant and I ordered a big steak while she only had a small salad. When the waiter brought the check, I told him to split it and I gave him a tip the size of the girl's check just to make my point.
She was so shocked. Later we were walking from the restaurant to public transport station and my apartment is directly on the way. Last two days, I invited her to my place for some more drinks, she refused, so I walked her to the station and returned back to my place. Not this time. As we got to my building, I said my goodbyes and started to open the door. What do you know - she was all "You know maybe I could have another glass at yours.". Banged her that night, never saw her again. And I could even figure this out before TRP.
[deleted] 9y ago
Well done! I'm sure you smelled your finger or knew from the finger bang she wasn't worth the cost of admission. However, if you did cover the tab, you would be deserving of two "round trips" to all three destinations AND a souvenir video. I personally would have paid and slipped out of her place in 2-3hours leaving her with happily swollen inner thighs, ass, upper and lower lips, nips, and an empty fridge. Oh yeah...NOFAP! TRP! Liquidating your assets! Cripplingalcoholiscm!
burneraccount11122 9y ago
Bro, I think you need a new hobby...