I used to be a massive beta orbitor back in the day and like this chick in my group at college to the point where everyone knew how thirsty I was for her. I eventually grew balls to ask her out, she said no, I got super sad and stopped talking to her and the group because she rejected me, made new friends and re-invented myself. Three years later discovered redpill and the rest is history. I became hyper aware of my beta-orbitor like behavior and now almost gone the other extreme to the point where I never ever hit on people when other people I know are around me.
Upon reflection, this event seemed to have affected me more than I realise. I meet lots of girls through friends but honestly never escalate and take it anywhere out of this innate fear of people I know talking about how I got rejected. How do I get over it? I don't care if strangers see me getting rejected, as I approach lots and get rejected plenty when I am by myself, but when others I know are around, it is a different story. Someone give me some advice. Someone give me a kick in the balls that I need.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I...D...G...A...F mentality. Zero fucks given.
Most people will respect your ability to hold frame, even if rejected. Most will secretly applaud you for having the balls to do what they can't.
Anyway, fuck em, hold frame, do what you want.
grwyscxle 5y ago
Yup, this. If I see someone approching on the street I don't say "What a loser he's approching" lol, I tell myself how he's great and awesome for that. It's natural.
Verderubro 5y ago
And put in practice. Never enough said, put in action.
nexther 5y ago
Chat to loads of women. Cold approach like it’s your profession. You don’t need to be sexual, you just want to make comments and chat to girls. When your comfortable with this, then “chat up” girls you like and turn the conversation sexual. The more you talk to girls, the more comfortable you’ll be, there’s no other tricks. If you work hard at this I guarantee that you’ll become comfortable and after 100 girls you’ll be so comfortable you’ll be able to say something crazy because you won’t give a fuck!
Ridabewa 5y ago
The first girl I ever opened after I swallowed the RP was in front of three of my friends. I got rejected in seconds. My friends all had a good laugh. As the day went on, I perceived they had all gained a measure of respect for me. Even though I failed, their estimation of me raised. In other words, you’re worrying about nothing.
BurnoutRS 5y ago
Mental blocks work like this
1) opportunity to do thing you want to do arises 2) youre about to take the opportunity when suddenly you doubt yourself 3) the doubt takes over, and you muster up some sour grapes excuse as to why you continue being a bitch
the next time the same opportunity arises, you start off one peg lower. It grows worse over time. Chances are, you are already very far down the line of passing up opportunities to approach. So much so that, psychologically, you have reinforced the belief that "Im a bitch who doesnt approach and If I did it would be a total trainwreck"
That statement has two parts. The first part is that youre a bitch, the second is that the approach will be a trainwreck. You're already a bitch, so the approach is gonna be a trainwreck and you have to accept that. But by forcing yourself to make the trainwreck approach... you become less of a bitch.
Now you should start to understand that "when I dont act on my desires, I recognize myself to be a weak bitch who wont go after what he wants, which in turn makes me even less likely to go after the things I want"
redpillparis 5y ago
Get comfortable being shameless. Like in my circle, the people expect me to pursue the girls I like without any fucks. Are they judging? Probably. Do I give a fuck? Absolutely not. Gets easier if you feel shame, after being shameless a few times.
Eartripping 5y ago
If you talk to your friends about what you're gonna do like right before you do it that might make it easier, if you get rejected just go back to your friends and laugh about it. You might even motivate your friends to start cold approaching. Just keep a positive attitude about it and they'll likely support you if they're good friends.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
No, it won't be easier.
While it may seem like a "consistency" psychological effect, it puts even more pressure on you.
OP is slowed down by social pressure, so that would make it even harder than if he didn't say anything and just did it.
OP just needs to let go external validation and do whatever the fuck he wants in life.
​
Eartripping 5y ago
Re read your post, I see you're talking about just anybody you know not specifically your friends woops. Honestly theres three reactions that people you know could have, either they'll be jealous that you got balls like that, they'll be impressed you got balls like that, or they wont care at all, the last one being most likely. Just hold frame if someone disapprovingly calls you out, which is really unlikely to happen. They fit into those who are jealous, girls and dudes alike.
the13thmonk 5y ago
I moved to a big place where I know almost no one
BullHorn7 5y ago
Go extreme to the point that normal social interaction becomes anxiety-free. From Sasha Daygame's book for curing approach anxiety: http://imgur.com/xDcpdK4
The other days have you do more tame 5bricks-style things like approaching random girls and saying hello or asking them to marry you.
prrraveen 5y ago
This thing is not going to disappear even when you become very good at it. But you will be less bothered by it if you keep pushing yourself. Hope it helps
rockyp32 5y ago
Some people can do it truly without caring. They fix the core of the problem and truly do not care. But most of us don’t put enough work in to get to that point.
thebestpossible 5y ago
The people you know are the problem. Why is their judgement overrulling your desire? Fuck these people.
the_Milkweed 5y ago
Your fear isn't just about rejection, its about perception. You are worried you are going to be perceived as a loser, a flirt, a failure, a fuck boy.
Let me tell you straight, by worrying about any of the above, you automatically project those things about yourself. You will be your own downfall. God damn, I see way too many posts about people who are supposedly red-pilled and yet they're still worried about mundane shit like this.
As the great cuck chia labaffoon once said "JUST DO IT"