Recently I’ve been FWB with a plate and she’s been catching feelings. After hearing this from our mutual friends we had the talk, and I ended it with me saying that I enjoyed being with her, didn’t want a relationship, but would be open to one in the future. We were/are on the same page.
Since then she’s been shit testing the fuck out of me, more vocal about the shit she doesn’t want me doing, and even acted pissed off in front of a crowd at me after I hit a bowl. I’m not liking it, and it’s clear she’s charged up from the hint of commitment I gave her. The only thing girls care about is securing your commitment.
After waking up beside her and calling her on her shit, which she brushed off, I walked out and sent her a text asking to talk tonight.
The purpose of the talk tonight is to establish that I regret telling her what she wanted to hear, and to enforce the fact that I’m not looking for a relationship, and that I don’t want to be her cuddle buddy that she can just crash beside every night after acting like a bitch.
Any tips? Or good lines that cover the concepts I’m trying to put forward? Any advice for future interactions with this girl to keep her on the chase and make her remember that I’m not going to take shit from her? She knows it but seems to have forgotten, and I’m not ready to next her yet but it’s getting there. Thanks
effyouasshole 5y ago
If a plate or FWB does something you don't like, withdraw your attention immediately. There is no getting angry; there is no "talking to her". You just withdraw and focus on something else.
If she persists (which it sounds like she will), you soft-next. She will either get in line, or this plate breaks. But that's not a concern of yours, since you have abundance mentality and outcome-independence, right?
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
That’s word for word what I’ve been doing, it’s just been since we had the first talk. I was planning on telling her I wasn’t happy with our situation and I’d be withdrawing, but now I’m going to reconsider and establish this without talking. Thanks man solid advice.
DeeLad29 5y ago
I wouldn't overtly give it to her like that, she's not your gf. Instead I'd put her on the back burner for a few days (or weeks) while gaming other girls (which I assume you're already doing OP).
Why even spend any portion of your time thinking about a misbehaving plate? I'd soft next till she fixes her behaviour. If she doesn't, her loss.
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
Soft next, I appreciate the quality advice and will definitely follow it. Can’t let circumstances make me forget about the fundamentals.
oytrp 5y ago
Stop treating her like a girlfriend.
What you said in your first paragraph is all you need say. If she starts encroaching you don't need to waste your time talking, just soft next her. She'll get the picture and either fix up or bail.
Plates break, the important thing is for you to not give a fuck.
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
Needed to hear that. Thanks.
HIJKelemenoP 5y ago
My only tip is to stop saying, "catching feelings".
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
Shit tip
HIJKelemenoP 5y ago
Keep up the thigh pokes then. Seemed to work.
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
Fucked her twice mid party an had her tell me she wanted a relationship ln, thanks tho
HIJKelemenoP 5y ago
Lol..ok bud.
Notreallyme001 5y ago
Man up.
​
Women are gatekeepers of sex. Do you know why all plates are destined to fall? The shit-tests/comfort-tests become too great that no man can jungle. You will not see a single person on TRP who claims to have an 100% plate spinning record. It is just how it is. Hence the analogy to actual plate spinning.
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
I’m having no issue passing tests, it’s the presence of them i am beginning to dislike.
Notreallyme001 5y ago
Have you even read my reply. There is no solution to this. If you're venting, I understand. But don't ask for help because there is no solution.
​
No commit to relationship -> increase in tests -> bad behavior -> plate breaks -> move on. It's life.
Big_Homie_Mozi 5y ago
Yeah nope cya, plenty of other decent replies.