titlegore, I know.
So there's this girl I run into every once in a while - absolutely gorgeous. I've known her for a few months and I see her maybe once a month because we run into each other at the same social events. We always talk a bit and as far as I can tell she was at least somewhat into me. She's usually sweet and bubbly but reserved in one of those "you need to make a move on me or else nothing will happen" kind of ways. You know the type of girl I'm talking about.
Skip to last week. We see each other again at some event. We don't talk for the first hour or so. I've got my people, she's got hers. Eventually everyone breaks up and everyone is mingling and she makes her way over to me while I'm standing alone and starts chatting me up. Just general stuff at first - job, life, favorite shit etc. then suddenly she starts bringing up sex and kinky stuff and whatever else comes up. This goes on for like 2+ hours and all the while she's following me around the room from table to table and up to the bar with me. I didn't buy her a drink so her flirting for drinks isn't the reason.
Eventually everything is dying down and people are leaving. We end up in a group of 4ish people by the end and all of a sudden she calls an Uber and leaves with a wave and I'm left sitting there dumbfounded as to what just happened.
Maybe I didn't indulge her enough when we talked about sex. Maybe I should have kissed her. But a part of me was thinking maybe she was just being nice because both her and I are really close friends with our only mutual friend at the party. Then again she could have left my company at any moment and gone to talk to someone else but she didn't. It could be any number of things but I'm confused.
Anyway I messaged her on Fb messenger because the few times we have talked online it's been that, and I ask her if she wants to get a drink sometime. She didn't even look at the message even though she immediately responded to her when I said hey like 5 minutes beforehand.
So I guess I got rejected, but I'm still confused as to why.
-
Where did I go wrong?
- Next time I see her, what do I even do?
And please before you comment about abundance mentality and going to find someone else to fuck, know that I posted this for advice on this specific situation and interpreting it the right way and treating it as a learning experience.
abudun79 5y ago
I cannot see rejection in your story. That's where you're wrong. You've been a sissy and afraid to do anything worth a rejection.
She tried to get you to hit on her, she tried so hard. You completely disappointed her to the extent that she leaves alone without a proper good bye. And she recognizes, that you need some buffer (txt) to try to hit on her. That evening you just played along her jokes instead of playing with her emotions and her body. After that you just text her. How can she take that serious?
Next opportunity (best approx. 27 days later): Don't avoid her, see if you get close again and recreate a situation as you wrote about. And then MAKE YOUE MOVE! Touch her casually, more often, look her in the eyes, go in and kiss her. Don't act shy. What do you think, why she talks to a friend about sex so much?
TrenGod37 5y ago
Next time you see her act like nothing happened just play it cool. Rejection happens. It’s better to say “who would have the balls to do what you did” not many guys would and wonder what if.
At least you manned up and took action don’t let it discourage you. Act like it never happened and keep improving. Who knows you might be the one rejecting her down the road
Pluglord 5y ago
Eh. He pussied out at the party and tried to regenerate the vibe through facebook.
TrenGod37 5y ago
I didn’t read the post just the title
Pluglord 5y ago
> Where did I go wrong?
You sat with her alone and talked about sex for 2 hours and let her go home without making one move. Seems pretty obvious to me. You blew this one pretty bad. She threw the ball in your court and you threw it right out of bounds. It happens. Stop dwelling on it.
> Next time I see her, what do I even do?
Greet her if need be. Keep convo short and sweet. Talk to other girls,
CaptDeadlift 5y ago
You're completly in her frame and orbiting at this point.
Clearly have oneitis for this woman and my advice is to go NC and stop taking away the chance of meeting new women from yourself because you're seeing only from the information given.
OneInAZillion 5y ago
Haven't talked to her since, so no I'm not? Also I don't intend to orbit or be her friend. I don't hate her I'm just not into getting demoted from whatever that day was to 'friends'.
Again I haven't talked to her since but if we run into each other in person it's unavoidable that we'll talk because if I just avoid her the whole time I might as well be wearing a suit made of salt.
This particular instance is just baffling to me which is why I'm trying to learn from it.
CaptDeadlift 5y ago
Well I don't befriend women and I am blunt with that. For example if she says that we should be friends I follow up with a "got enough of them".
I was just saying things on the way you portraited the situation.
FearGarbhArMait 5y ago
You went wrong when you couldn't make a move in person and did it online. Sack up my mans. There is more women out there.
2comment 5y ago
How were you rejected, you never escalated to begin with?
DaveyOneBite 5y ago
You bitched out in person and then tried to make a move from the safety of your computer.
OneInAZillion 5y ago
This is true.
RivenHalf 5y ago
You rejected yourself lmao you literally didn't do anything. Okay, she was talking about sex for 2 hours and you did...what exactly? Absolutely nothing. You didn't escalate, you didn't initiate kino, you didn't try and leave the venue with her, you didn't push and pull, you didn't lead her, you literally did nothing here and then counted it as a rejection? You need to read...a lot. Soft next her, monk mode for a month or two and just read game because you're lacking it. Good luck.
Backfrominceldom 5y ago
Been in this exact same situation except I was around this girl more and I bitched out harder than you did. The girl literally threw herself at me at some point and I just said I was tired.
After that I texted her and she rejected me. I never got another chance, deservedly so because I showed her I was a bitch.
You might still have a chance in person but the only course of action now is to be really, really good and make all the right moves the next time you see her. Because in her head you're a bitch now.
spider514 5y ago
Well at first she put herself in your orbit because she perceived you as alpha and a possible AF. You failed to escalate because you were afraid of the repurcusions which is a valid excuse but remember her hamster will rationalize as you not being alpha. Game over next this girl and if she reaches out then set a date and escalate slowly. I believe you'll still get rejected so when it happens just shrug it off and pretend its no big deal. A true alpha does not fear rejection, he actively seeks it because he knows deep down that there's other options (abundance mentality) or is confident he'll get his way (he does not pedestalize women he is the prize aka someone who values himself) My two cents anyways.
W_O_M_B_A_T 5y ago
The only problem here is you don't have other plates you're fucking.
This is because you're not approaching women.
Metalgear222 5y ago
No reply, is her reply. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. Shrug it off, only half-smile to her. Game other girls. This isn't bad nor hard.
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OneInAZillion 5y ago
Lol my bad about the reply before. Same time I wrote that I was in another thread talking about why Hillary sucked ass at debating and got mixed up, and the part about "no reply is her reply" fit perfectly in what I was saying in my other conversation.
Anyway you're right.