Hey guys. I need some advice haha. I saw a cutie3.14 sitting on a bench in front of the library and talked for her for a bit and asked her to grab coffee. She agreed. We grabbed coffee and hung out, but she seemed distracted and rarely made eye contact but engaged in conversation. Then I bounced with her from one building to sit in another to show her a 'pond monster'. We were talking and I gave her some gum because she was saying that her breath smells bad and told her that this gum would make her breath smell good for when we kiss. We hung out for some more and she followed me to another floor to explore with some complaining that i had to overcome. Then we went back to the library. I forgot to kiss her (and tbh i was kinda scared to kiss on the first date). Was this a mistake? What are my next moves?
Help would be appreciated. Thanks!
Edit: I feel like i need to make up for this and want to know how i can do that?
askmrcia 6y ago
You should kissed her. That was actually impressive to walk up to her on the bench and then get her to hang out with you.
Then you turn around like the ATL falcons and choke. Did you get her number at least?
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Yeah I did. She has class til 10, should i offer to hang out with me then and try to go for the kiss?
got kinda scared because wasn't sure she wanted to, but now i am kicking myself lol.
moontripper1246 6y ago
You did good bouncing her around and turning it sexual when you offered gum.
Personally I wouldn't tell her to meet up with me after class. She's tired she gets out at 10, I can see her tomorrow and I'm already going out tonight. (whaduuup industry night). I'd text her tomorrow or wednesday.
"I bet your breath still stinks. Meet me for gum here at x..."
Don't be so scared. She thought you were cute, she agreed to get coffee with you. Then she entertained you with complaining b/c she's a girl and young and doesn't know what else to do. It's really really important that you turned it sexual, she didn't run away and she took the gum when you said you'd be kissing her later. Yeah you should have kissed her, but your new. You'll get better with time and practice. Be proud, you did well.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Hey dude thanks for your response. Ims try as you suggest. Fucking brilliant line didnt think of it. Will be using it LOL
boscoist 6y ago
Remove cutie pie and all variations from your lexicon. It will help us take you seriously. This did not read like a date rather than a casual meeting. Make a move next time.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Will do.
Is that because she didn't give many IOI's?
[deleted] 6y ago
I don't kiss on the first day. Don't give her the power to reject you, also it makes her wonder if you really like her or not which will increase her interest in you. Subconsciously we try to kiss on the first date to gauge if she likes us or not and women know this.
You already said she seemed distracted and didn't make eye contact, so she might not be that interested in you. You probably met her minimum attraction standards and she was bored. I wouldn't contacted her for a couple of weeks then ask her to go out again.
moontripper1246 6y ago
Holy shit, don't offer advice when you never go out with women. Please. I know it doesn't matter to you because you had sex last year, but this kid is actually trying and will mistakenly listen you your keyboard jockey bs.
Go for the kiss. Always. You set it up well in this situation. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
If you ignore her for more than 3 days she will forget about you and be focussed on the next drama/homework assignment. You did well getting the insta-date, capitalize on it before she forgets that you even hung out. You have the next two days comfortably to set something up. Do not avoid her for "a couple weeks" thinking she'll remember you. She won't. That's retarded.
[deleted] 6y ago
There's more than one way to skin a cat my friend. Everything I outlined works for me. I'm offering my advice.And what I said is true especially if the girl does not have a high interest in him for the beginning. I don't kiss on the first day (I don't force it). If she come's back to my place later that night then I'll go in to kiss but with intentions of fucking her. Second date I most likely will kiss or go further depending on the vibe.
Op should not feel too bad about not kissing her. As long as there is a decent amount of kino during the date and sexual eye contact. She'll know you have sexual interest in her.
This is not my experience, and that's all I'm speaking from. Like I said previously, I've had girls contact me in between dates asking weather we will meet again. I will say maybe what I'm saying might not be for a newbie, but it does work. And I'm not saying if they go out again don't go for the kiss, I'm just saying the first day I usually don't and therefore he shouldn't feel too bad that he didn't because it can work in his favor.
And if the girl is not that interested in the first date like he said
Then texting her in the next 3 days for a date is not going to suddenly spark her interest because her initial interest obviously wasn't that high. She'll most likely not show up, so he has to display some qualities that will make her more interested and in my experience the best way to do that is to not do anything. Then when you contact her a week or 2 later, that hamster wheel is going to be turning of what you could have been doing in the interim; "why hasn't he contacted me?"
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Wouldn't she think you're a pussy for not making a move though?
Will do, though i'm afraid she'll forget about me.
moontripper1246 6y ago
This guy doesn't make moves. Every girl just looks at him and flocks. He's got that super sick technique, bro listen.
You're a pussy if you don't make a move. Good eye catching that.
You're right. She will forget. Girls have the attention span of fish, and only women you fuck think about you weeks later.
[deleted] 6y ago
Only if you make it clear that you want to kiss her, but can't. This is my mindset with women. We are hanging out so I can get to know you; to see if you meet my standards. I've already assumed that she likes me moreover I'm not afraid to loose her. So I don't need to kiss you to see if you like me. When women sense this it increases their interest.
A high value man with a lot of women and activities going on in his life is not going to be scared of loosing any woman. And is not going to be so quick to contact a woman. In my case I've had women text me and ask when we were going to meet up again.
moontripper1246 6y ago
If your standards are so high that you won't kiss and fuck her, then you're going out with uggos. Get over it.
Duh. You kiss her cause it's hot. I get not kissing to build sexual tension but you keep bringing up these pussy reasons (ie. she can reject you, increases interest, I'm testing her against my standards). Quit giving advice to newbies.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm not saying that I won't kiss her or fuck her. I'm not forcing the kiss on the first date unless she's coming back to my place where I'll try to fuck her. If I invite her back to my place and she say's no and I drop her off at hers, I'm not going to be so pressed about a kiss. The second date I'm going to try to fuck though most definitely. All I was saying is that the purpose of the first date is to see if I even want to deal with you.
I did not say I don't kiss her to test her to my standards. That's the purpose of the date. I don't think those are pussy reasons; women run game just like men, you just have to be privy to it. If you try to kiss her on the first date when you barely know the girl in her mind she already has you, and if she's not that interested in you she will not kiss you. And if she does that and you then in turn continue to try to spend time with her you've already lost... and will find it hard to get what you want from her.
moontripper1246 6y ago
Don't get me wrong, I get that. But the bigger picture is that if your going out with a girl and just by looking at her you're not sure if you want to kiss/fuck her then she's not that hot. I know I'm being a bit of a dick here, but it still stands
The last two really aren't, but you gotta remember you're talking to a newbie. He's nervous about kissing her, he doesn't need any excuse (however reasonable) to hold him back more.
GrandmasterM 6y ago
Wow, just wow. You're quite a dick dude. Stop being so superficial
moontripper1246 6y ago
Cunt.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Thanks dude.
Can you clarify what you mean by this?
[deleted] 6y ago
Like leaning in to kiss her; having your body language fixed to go in for a kiss, but you don't. If she can tell you want to kiss her (body language) but you don't then she's going to see you are being a pussy.
moontripper1246 6y ago
What? That's not true at all. She's going to thin your fucking with her and aren't into her at all. If you pull her in close, lean her head up, look her in the eyes, brush your lips near her's then pull away, she's NOT going to think you're a pussy. It'll raise sexual tension. If you laugh after, she'll think your a dick. If you do it two more times, she'll think your to into her.
Get off your keyboard jockey bullshit and go kiss a girl you faggot. Holy fuck will someone else who actually gets chicks please turn up. Real slim shady. Please turn up.
[deleted] 6y ago
That's not what I am saying. What you've described I've actually done. What I'm saying is like when you're nervous and you want to lean in for a kiss but don't because you are afraid (Think those corny teen movies). What you described is different because there is intention behind it, and a fundamental belief that the girl want's to kiss you, you are putting yourself out there which displays confidence)
moontripper1246 6y ago
aahhhhh that's what you meant. Yeah she'll think he's a pussy if he does that.
Yeah I like doing that teasing kiss. But i've done it too much to where the chick is reeeallly angry about it
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Ah. I see. Makes sense. Thanks.
moontripper1246 6y ago
Don't listen to this guy. He's remembering shit from decades ago and making up the rest.
You did well. Go for the kiss. Set up a date soon, she'll forget you if you don't. Any questions, just remember to ignore that guy ^
[deleted] 6y ago
Dude I'm 22 a decade ago I was 12. All I'm sharing is what has worked for me.
Edit: I forgot my own age... Smh
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
How long should i wait? I was thinking id text her today and try to set something up for next week.
moontripper1246 6y ago
Nah. Wait till tomorrow, something like "you around the library?" "nerd lol" "help me get some fresh air, I'm tired of studying."
just pretend like you were studying too.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Thanks dude. I think ill wait till friday as you suggest.
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Texted the girl to meet up today and she said she has a lot of homework to do so is going to study and go home - typical excuse. I guess there wasn't enough interest there and I made too many mistakes?
moontripper1246 6y ago
.....or she's telling the truth and has a lot of homework and is studying loll
Look in Game you'll find that believing the more positive outlook will get you laid more, even if it's less likely to be true. It helps your ego more to believe that she's just boring and has to study instead of believing that you made a bunch of mistakes an aren't good enough.
At the same time though, you do have to acknowledge where you fucked up. (hard to do both isn't it?)
Great example! A few weeks ago I hooked up with a girl on new years eve. She was hot, great tits, really sexy in bed. But I drank so much I got whisky dick. I woke up still thinking I was the shit, but now I'm just not going to drink that much when I'm out. I failed but I'm not letting it destroy my ego. You've gotta do the same.
You got her to go on an instate with you, that's great. You didn't kiss her, next time kiss her.
I'd let it be for a few days and hit her up on friday trying to set things up. If it falls through, hit her up in 2 weeks as a hail mary. My friend just went out with a chick that he sent a dick pic to a year ago. Shit happens, keep trying
Chaddeus_Rex 6y ago
Had a day 2 with ANOTHER persian girl today. Holy shit, she shut down because i escalated too fast i think. I saw her walking by in class, got her to sit beside me, teased her and got her to give me her toblerone, and got her to walk me to my next class and sit with me while waiting for the prof to start. Told her we should meet up after class, but then she said that she is meeting a friend then. I told her to ditch her friend and come with me. Convinced her to hang out for a half hour, with the intention of obviously being longer. She came to our meet up with her friend (hate when girls do that), and i had alot of trouble getting the girl to leave her friend. Her friend is a giant fucking cockblock lmao. Anyways, we left, i showed her something cool and then told her to show me where she lives. As we were walking over, she got quiet and cold and her friend called (she was constantly worried about her) but i told her not to pick up and on the way back this got worse. Decided to see if shed give me anymore compliance, and she reluctantly gave it. Then she started looking for a wall socket to charge her phone and had closed off body language. She then found her friend and left for home on a bus cuz she was too lazy to walk.
Her friend later texted me from the girls number saying "thanks for taking my friend away from me and leaving me stranded. Good night". I was like dafuq? Made no sense - she returned with her friend on their shuttle bus perfectly fine. But i said "didnt realize it was such a big deal for you. You guys get home fine on the bus?"
Sometime later i texted the persian girl, saying sorry for moving so fast, didnt realize you didnt like it. Will keep it in mind for next time. Moving fast is what i am used to, hope you understand. I normally dont apologize but i like this girl and figured a good dose of beta game (i turned on some smooth, aggressive game that wouldve worked on a canadian girl and not on a persian girl that came from iran 5 months ago) would be ok. She said "Thats okay. No worries. Good night".
Sorry for dumping this lmao. I just needed to tell someone and get it off my chest.
Making mistakes again...lol