I went and danced, outcome-independnet. The hottest girl there eventually started dancing with me, I only danced a respectful distance with some turning away (on my part) for a beat or two then turning back, and when she really warmed up so did I, however I kept my hands behind my back, so that she had to push against me to escalate rather than the other way around. I didn't take any steps toward her and, as mentioned, moved away several times and returned to facing her. Girl was totally into it. (Also she likely saw me 'reject' as in not dance with several other women on the dance floor.)
I felt a push, and was like WTF. Her much older female friend (not sure how they were friends) had pushed me. So I stayed outcome independent and started dancing with her (the much older friend), keeping frame. She was PISSED, like how dare I dance with her friend. I ignored that and just danced, in place, facing her and keeping frame. she got so pissed she started choking me, in response to which I grabbed her hands and removed them from my throat (this literally happened, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER would have believed this actually happens, I would have thought rapists are inventing these stories - this is why it's called "the red pill" and why some people think there's a hidden truth, like the matrix. There's 100% a hidden truth. It's not a cult or religion. It blew me away, how much this matches red pill stories - I simply would not believe this happens on the dance floor). Anyway she went away then, I just stood my ground and kept dancing. To be very clear: this means she had assaulted me on the dance floor. If a bouncer had seen this he would have thrown her out. So they all left, probably the superhot girl had a private talk with her.
Later the super hot girl was back with a vengeance omg she was so impressed by seeing me hold frame versus her friend. But I just ignored her, I don't need this kind of thing in my life.
Okay, so the question is: how SHOULD I have handled it. Do I need the permission of every girl's friends to dance with a girl? Isn't it enough that a girl wants to dance with me, why do I have to judge their friends' moods?
Just to be clear I'm fit and attractive but in my mid-thirties whereas this girl was maybe 21 at youngest. (no underage possibility or anything) Her much older friend was at least 38 but probably over 40s. I have no idea why they were friends.
Back at home, I was still processing this (yes, between us, it doesn't feel good to get assaulted when I did absolutely zero wrong) and I realize that perhaps in a way her friend was doing me a favor by being this super-hot girl's "protector". This is why this super-hot girl can come and dance with whoever she wants (in this case me) without having half the dance floor trying to grind against her. If her friend had to push away 10 people the superhot girl didn't want to to dance with, to present the clear opportunity for the friend to dance with me, is that really so bad for me?
So this is the reason why I feel that maybe I should have handled it differently - like explicitly looked at her friend (when the superhot girl is turned away) and ask via sign-language whether she will let me dance with her younger friend? (But likely the older woman would have shaken her head NO!!(.
This seems bizarre but it is what it is. How do you feel about this situation and how should I have handled it? (By the way I ignored them the rest of the night and left early, around 2, they were outside I just cheerfully said bye to them as though nothing had happened or I didn't remember who they were. they didn't reply. I still think the older one hates me and would present me as a rapist type person. if there were video footage it would totally validate my description, I believe I did not take one step toward the hotter girl and perhaps only even danced with my hands behind my back.)
thanks for any thoughts.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
That's right; she did you a solid in trying to strangle you. I just wish I had friends that would try to strangle me.
atticusfinch1973 6y ago
First of all, don't dwell on it. Doesn't matter what some silly tart did even if it was super inappropriate. You did the right thing by staying cool and not lashing out. You're completely over analyzing it. Just don't even think about it.
If anything, turn it into a joke and lean in and suggest if she likes choking you're used to it in a more private location.
And no, you don't need anyone's "permission" to dance.
However, if you're in your mid 30's I'd suggest dance clubs are not the best place to game women.
NavyBlueCrow 6y ago
Why? The mid 30's thing I mean
YouLoveThisBTW 6y ago
You are over analyzing all of this. And your post reeks of fear of appearing aggressive. Let me tell you a little secret. Male sexuality is aggressive. Today I asked my girl what it felt like to be horny. She didn’t understand the question, so I thought about how i would answer, and told her that when she turns me on my hands feel the need to grab her, hold her, dug into her. I feel, in my hips, the need to thrust into her. Male sexuality is aggressive. And the female is receptive. Her response: she feels a need in her pussy. A tingle. She literally said tingles.
Male sexuality has been vilified. You seem young, and brainwashed into thinking that dancing up to a woman is inappropriate. I’m in my early thirties. From my experience, the scene I grew up in, you sound insane. Why did you feel the need to reassure us, several times, that you didn’t take one step towards this hot girl? Your on a god damn dance floor in a club. It’s your job to move towards women. That being said, your fear was clearly misinterpreted as aloofness and found attractive. I use that a lot in my game. I’m 6’4”, masculine and fit but not swole. Girls notice me, I ignore them. Then I turn on the fun. They see me having a good time and they want in. It’s like fish in a barrel
In either case, no, you do not need the girls bull cockblock friends permission to dance with her. Asking is so fucking beta it makes me want to puke and she’d never say yes. The real problem from where I sit is that you would even consider asking means you are incredibly twisted up by feminism.
To wrap this up, she assaulted you. She’s probably hot for the little sloot herself, is a sugar mamma who never gets any, and reacted out of jealousy that she would justify by calling being over protective. A little insight for you, since you seem a bit dense: the hot one knew from the start this would piss off the bull moose, resents her controlling nature, was turned on by your aloofness and got up on you to kill two birds with one stone: get validation from the guy that’s not handing it out to every skank, and give her controlling friend the finger at the same time.
And yeah, she probably thought it was super hot that you maintained frame and was incredibly disappointed when you failed to follow through. Because one of two things would have happened.
Bull bitch would have successfully kept the hottie in her frame by vilifying you then acting upset at not being heard when she does. Ultimately she is threatening the relationship and more or less saying “if you’re really my friend you won’t leave me sad and alone and go with this asshole to bang, which I know you want to do but it’s only cuz your drunk and he’s clearly a predator and I just wanna save you etc etc etc. “ This is what happens most of the time that a cockblock really gets going. And it works.
The alternative is that instead of staying in the bull bitches frame, hottie jumps ship and enters yours. This is what you should have driven for, cuz it’s what hotties little panties wanted at the time. What do you do to achieve this? Go to dance with her, or go say let’s get a drink/smoke, then “Oh, wait, don’t you need permission?” Point to bull bitch with an inquisitive/ bullshitting face. I don’t smoke, but have often considered carrying a pack just to help with “get her alone” logistics. It works like a charm.
Bonus thoughts: you said if a bouncer saw it, she would have been kicked out. You got it backwards. Woman fights with man, man gets kicked out. I’ve seen it happen more than once. You’ve got a lot to learn.
econquest 6y ago
was the man dancing at the time? (that you've seen it happen "more than once). as in literally dancing, by himself, on the dance floor, surrounded by women who were into him? doubt it.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
No, IIRC, he was being strangled.
YouLoveThisBTW 6y ago
Dancing? Attracting women? It’s not relevant. A physical confrontation between a man and woman in a bar or club will 9/10 end with man kicked out. The bouncer doesn’t give a shit who started it.
Honestly, you sound incredibly arrogant and frankly, dense. I type all that shit, and that’s what you got from it? Just... wow.
econquest 6y ago
So, I actually quoted the part from the end, since I kind of zoned out the first time I read your paragraphs so I just responded to your last point.
This statement you just made ("I type all that shit...?") made me reread your long response, because it made me realize that you must have had a lot of gold buried in there. You did.
Your writing style made it very, very hard to read what you were saying. (You clearly read everything I had written perfectly though.)
I was only able to get your meaning by focusing very, very carefully and re-reading your long text. (You also got no upvotes or downvotes, as if nobody else read your thoughts at all.)
So two things I would advise is: 1) I don't see why you feel the need to add "you sound dense" so many times, as though that helps gets your point across to me. 2) Your advice is pretty interesting now that I have taken the time to read it, but next time I would suggest you write it in a way that is a bit clearer.
Thanks for your feedback.
RedPillIsTruth2 6y ago
it was her mom. hard next.