Quick context and background:I met a girl (i'll call her Jessica) about two years ago at a job i had and asked her out for a date. It was fun, and she proposed a second one. However, she then rejected my next two invitations saying she was busy, so i dropped it. Then she asks me out, but i (genuinely) couldn't that day and comms just eventually ceased.
About a year later, as i was dating my current ex, Jessica texts randomly and asks to go out sometime, but since i was getting serious with this other girl, i politely declined. Since then, she eventually comments some of my whatsapp status and have very concrete short convos.
A week ago i decided to ask her out again. She seemed pretty eager and accepted. The day before she sent me a voice note confirming attendance and what-not. But today, the day of the date, she completely dissapeared. Not even playing the voice note i sent her or answering the single text i sent. Naturally, she didn't show up.
I fail to comprehend her behaviour. She was so excited a moment ago! The night before the date, i went out clubbing with some friends and uploaded some pics of that to my whatsapp status. Perhaps seeing that i went drinking the day before of the date dissuaded her somehow?
It's been about four hours since the agreed time passed, and she shows no signs of life (i catched her online a while ago), Haven't insisted or texted again, and i'm planning on just dropping the whole matter unless she writes back with a good reasoning and a reschedule ('cause i'm into this girl.
Why did these events happened? I've never seen it (or being stood up) before and am baffled.
What should i do, if anything?
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Update: She called and claimed that she had some serious family matters and felt very ashamed. She proposed to reschedule for tomorrow or the weekend
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creating_my_life 5y ago
She would totally forget a date with Chris Hemsworth, too.
I'm sure her grandmother is sick or something. It has nothing to do with you not being attractive or interesting enough. Absolutely not. No reason to worry about that.
In all seriousness, she sounds like she wanted to go out, let her contact you and explain what happened. But there's no reason for you to chase her.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
I hope so, mate. She's clearly online at whatsapp and haven't send a single text. Still not heard the voice note i sent! I was thrown off balance by the drastic change in her attitude. I think to myself that, if she had an emergency or something, she could just tell me. Even if it was a lie!
Also, i appreciate your encouragement, mate :)
creating_my_life 5y ago
She just met somebody cuter than you, that's all. You're her backup plan. Work harder to be the next girl's first choice.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
Well, she just called apologizing, giving some family excuses and asking if we can meet tomorrow or the weekend. I told her i'll be available next week. What do you think?
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
You just reminded me that WhatsApp feature exists. Thank you!
SkorchZang 5y ago
She did this because she's a flake. Girls who're not flakes would politely notify you about the family issues and be mortified that she stood you up. Bitch is a flake and if you reschedule you can look forward to more of the same. Not that it's a huge problem, you just have to know this is what you're dealing with and always plan accordingly.
Expect her to not show up and have alternative plans, if she does show up you're pleasantly surprised and enjoy yourself like nothing happened. When she starts in with the excuses, be coy about it: feel free to interrupt the excuse flow without listening to much of it and drop something like "well we'll see what you wanna do to make it up to me, won't we" or stuff like "you say that to all the guys, don't you. Yes you do, you cheeky minx."
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
Good advice, all of that. Thank you! I liked those lines you suggest at the end.
blysol 5y ago
Fuck that. She doesn't get another chance to do that again, drop her and save your time.
Peter_B_Long 5y ago
Damn, strong oneitis for this girl.
Just next her and move on. You've been chasing this girl for over a year.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
Well, to be fair, i've had serious relationships with other girls during that time, as well as some flings. But i can see your point, perhaps i'm being blue pilled there
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Peter_B_Long 5y ago
I dumped an LTR of 5 years a year and a half ago and like you, I hit up every girl who I'd been wanting to fuck or who I thought I'd be able to smash. What's crazy is that most of the girls that agreed to meet up ended up flaking with no notice. They just ghosted me the day of. This one girl seemed willing to meet up for sure and hours before we were supposed to hang, she went radio silent. She later posted a story on IG of her at a county fair with friends. I was just like wtf, and just hard nexted all of them.
IMO just find new prospects and game girls who don't know you pre-TRP.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
Girls who don't know me pre-TRP? I believe that is some wise knowledge you're sharing there.
Peter_B_Long 5y ago
It's a hard truth that I read about here but I still went on to learn it on my own from experience and failures. I moved to a new state in February so everybody I've met here is post-TRP obviously and everybody treats me with great respect. Guys talk to me at their level or even higher, they show genuine interest in talking with me. Girls either submit to my frame or I learn to get along with them, but never become a beta.
I know it seems like a huge leap, but I recommend just starting a new life. Since I've found TRP, I've gotten a new job, new car, new friends, new LTR, new wardrobe, new habits, new hobbies, new location, hell even a new gym. I've just let go of my past life and shed it off like snake skin. The only constants I have are my family of course and like 2 friends from pre-TRP.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
Funny enough, in march 2020 i'm leaving the country. I have saved your post, and will read about people met at Pre-TRP vs those met at Post-TRP
BrutalMan420 5y ago
i dont need to read this to tell you the reason.
next
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
What a shame, man. Normally i'd drop it with all ease, but this time around i just don't comprehend
Randomjutsu 5y ago
Could be a family matter but if its not she can flake again. Maybe she has a boyfriend and is trying to keep this low key? Either way plan a fun date at night and escalate
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
She has mental problems....is unstable.
Stay away and move on....stop answering her text, calls, etc.
LodestarAuriga 5y ago
I think this is the sad truth. It would seem she is just low-key borderline. Shame!