Met a very hot girl at a bar on a sat night, took me to her place, gave me ASD “one night stands are great and all but no”. Cuddle, morning comes, makeout etc and escalates until she tells me to fuck her.
Afterwards we chill, talk, watch netflix. Goes on for hours. Feeling like i’m overstaying, i say i should leave but she says noooo as she continues to cuddle me. Finally leave at 7pm Sun. I’ve had girlfriends in the past but never really connected with someone that fast.
We text throughout the week pretty continuously (until we go to bed and picking up in the morning.) I ask friday if she wants to hangout. she says yes definitely! I go to a pregrame with her friends and go out. Have to leave early because i had an early flight for vacation (told her about this prior). She sends me home, worried that i’d miss my flight, makes me put an alarm in her phone to match my alarm so she can call me to make sure i make the flight, kisses me goodbye and says see you when you get back.
Weird part, I text her the next morning telling her i made it, few back and forth, then i ask her if her and her friends went anywhere else after? no answer. I saw on snapmap she did and her location didn’t move until the morning (possible one night stand, idk just a guess)
5 days later i’m back and text her, asks me about my vacation sounding genuinely interested, few back and forth, ask if she’s free this weekend...ghosted.
That was 2 weeks ago. I felt we really had a connection, she definitely showed interest and cared about me but then nothing. I could tell through social media she ended up going away with friends that weekend. Then last and this weekend she was also away. My point is she couldn’t have hung out with me on the weekend anyways this past few weeks.
Do I text this girl again? Theories are she’s not that interested, found someone else, or is genuinely very busy but me reinitiating contact could respark it. Shit doesn’t add up. Thoughts?
Edit: She still likes my instagrams and watches my stories (if that’s relevant)
bluefingerblue 5y ago
For the love of Christ stop texting so much. You probably fucked it up with too much texting. I’m sure she thinks you’re infatuated with her.
Also stop asking her if she’s free this weekend. She doesn’t know what you have planned. What if you want to do some boring ass shit? Propose an actual plan.
If it’s been two weeks since last contact, I think you can try one more time. “Hey let’s do x at y:30 on z day.” Lead. Make her tell you no. If she says no and doesn’t offer to reschedule, move the fuck on.
papahstax 5y ago
Why do you sound so mad lmao. Probably did text too much but it wasn’t more than she was - equal amount. Also I only asked if she was free one time and expected a yes or a “no let’s reschedule” but i see what you’re saying
helaughsinhidden 5y ago
Use texting for logistics only and just for something in the next couple hours. "Hey, just got off work and I am free. You want to meet at IDK at 9pm?" It puts pressure on her to decide to commit without time to make excuses to bail. If she can't, never be butt hurt, just reply "Ok" and try again in a couple weeks. When you try again if you fail a second time, then wait 3-4 weeks.
Why you don't have text conversations. Your life needs mystery. Stuff like vacations, work, school, or whatever you kids talk about should be done in person. You are letting her take up your time and satisfy her feelz for free. To get what you need, you have to be there in person so you have a chance to initiate game, isolate, and escalate.
PraiseBasedDonut 5y ago
Cut the bullshit and move on.
Quaternionz 5y ago
I've had stuff like this happen. Some girls have a pathological thing they do where they dive in super fast and then suddenly stop caring, just as fast. Love is like a drug for them. They get a huge hit and then come down from it and want a break.
You should have left sooner and not taken the dive with her. Dish out your attention more sparingly. She'll value you in a more deep and stable way if she has to work for it.
I have one girl I'm seeing who is self-aware about that dynamic. She never stays too long when seeing me because she's had past experiences where diving in too fast spoiled things for her. Most girls won't be that self-aware about it though, so you'll have to manage the dynamic for them.
papahstax 5y ago
Well that’s shitty. Probably should have texted her less to make her want my attention more but the goal wasn’t to make it a one time thing. I could see us going somewhere
Quaternionz 5y ago
Yep, that's the same thing I said when I fucked up in the same way. Men are often happy to just jump straight into a relationship. You can feel like you're a year in and it's only been two weeks, and that's fine with you. Girls are less into that. And moreover, getting too comfortable too soon makes you tend to fuck up and do beta shit.
If you want her to stick around and you see her as long term potential then let it simmer. Keep other plates around so you can be dating/banging someone else while it simmers, so that you won't start to feel needy.
papahstax 5y ago
That’s exactly how it felt. I like that advice. Thank you. What’s the appropriate time to wait and way to reinitiate? I’m content with waiting/doing nothing for now because it’s already been a few weeks.
Quaternionz 5y ago
I'd consider her a dropped plate and move on. Game other girls. I know you probably really like her, but remember that if you found a solid girl once you can find one again.
Don't try to salvage it. She might pop up again in the future, but I'd go with permanent zero-contact unless she proactively reaches out.
MartinMcFlyy 5y ago
Didn’t read anything. No. Never chase anything but financial opportunities or liquor.
JerryLawlerPigFace 5y ago
Did not read. The answer is no.
papahstax 5y ago
so ur answer is based on the title? lol
JerryLawlerPigFace 5y ago
Yeah. It is. You shouldn’t be chasing women. That’s not what a high value man does. One of the main tenants fo TRP is a paradigm shift in which that old mentality of “should I chase this really hot chick” now makes little sense.
papahstax 5y ago
I get that but it’s kind of semantics here. Since I last spoke to her over text, there’s a lot of variables at play so by chase I really meant “do i text her one more time”
JerryLawlerPigFace 5y ago
You have every single person in the comments telling you no, don’t chase, dont text her, don’t do anything other than move on and let her text you. Feels appear to be setting in to warrant a post such as this, so my advice is to next her, or get other options immediately
mrpoopistan 5y ago
There's your problem right there.
This reads as insecure.
papahstax 5y ago
How? She doesn’t know my intentions. I was just seeing how her night was going. We went to a shitty bar and her friend lost her phone so i assumed they bounced
mrpoopistan 5y ago
It "reads" as insecure.
​
Remember, women are trying to find ways to rule guys out. You ruled yourself out by caring what she did after you left.
oytrp 5y ago
You were too available which shows you aren't a high value man. She lost attraction.
BuckNekkid18 5y ago
Just came in her to laugh at OP
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
This entire account reads as one Beta move after another. I could go through this point by point, if you wish, but you would really benefit from starting from scratch and reading everything in the sidebar. You must be really cute, because frankly I'm amazed that you even managed to bang her.
And the answer to your question: obviously not.
You're infatuated. You're borderline stalking this girl, for God's sake. Just be happy that you got the bang and made a cool memory, now move on with your life.
papahstax 5y ago
Well hey man I came here for advice/to learn - i discovered this sub yesterday. If you want to break it down go head; it will probably help. Also I met her at a bar and banged that night so it was an entire different aspect. I agree the texting part is beta but that’s only part of the story. But no I am not going to text her.
Psychological_Radish 5y ago
Good on you for getting the bang, but I tend to side with Rollo on the issue of genuine ASD/LMR: if a girl isn't eager to fuck my brains out, I simply remove myself from the situation. I don't think that a lay is worth risking your reputation, especially these days.
Next time just get up and say "I'm heading out," not this wishy washy "I should leave" nonsense.
The constant texting was already addressed elsewhere in this thread. You're being too available and it seems like you have nothing better to do than text her. Bad way to go.
Why are you stalking this girl and wildly speculating about her sex life? This is obsessive behavior.
No girl gives a fuck about your vacation unless you met the Pope during it.
Dude, you had a ONS with some chick from a bar. Let's have some perspective here.
More pointless stalking.
Your behavior probably made matters worse, but her initial attraction likely wasn't all that high to begin with. After all, it took a whole night of coaxing for her to get turned on enough to fuck you.
It's not.
If you're thinking that this encounter was some divinely inspired meeting with your Soul Mate™, then get that idea out of your head. You met a girl, had fun, and you ended up in bed together. Nothing more. It happens every day to countless people around the world.
No. At this point you wait for her to reach out...which may never happen. And you need to be cool with that possibility. In the meantime, bang other girls.
You might have felt like you had a "connection," but that is nothing more than a figment of your imagination. The only thing you actually know about her is that she's hot. Everything else is just your brain's irrational projection. For all you know, this girl is a total cunt (indeed, it is very likely).