Had a few first dates that have ended similarly and would like some insight.
Scenario 1: HB8.5 early 30s intelligent but a basic bitch (Netflix,naps,gossip, wine). First date, venue one fun and a few drinks, venue 2 & 3 more drinks, came over wanted to stay the night but too tired to do anything and it was too late to kick her out. I did try to escalate but nothing more than kissing. Never heard from again after.
Scenario 2: Bumble date, late 20s hb7. Great night venue 1 and 2, brought home, had drink, escalated and out of nowhere she just decided she had to leave. Of course I call her bluff and just say 'sounds good'. Didn't get up to see her out and she got upset and said I was 'such a guy'. Probably will never hear from.
TL:DR Fairly good first date results but not closing or getting 2nd shots. Girls have a great time and are under my frame til it's time to get down on date 1.
Edit: thanks all for responding!
alpha-zach 7y ago
Scenario 1 isn’t LMR if I read it right. You just didn’t manage the night well. 3 venues is a lot, especially with drinks at each. She’s not bullet proof.
no_delay1 7y ago
Should I have cut short to 1 venue and goodbye?
I rolled with it instead and she got drunk on her own..
Noted, appreciate response
alpha-zach 7y ago
2 venues is fine. 3 if it’s a quick hoping around. 1 hour at each, maybe 2 at the 3rd venue. Just gauge if she’s getting drunk or tired.
Zanford 7y ago
Just read up on LMR / ASD, the general philosophy about these will apply here, unless you have some specific issue like dick stank
no_delay1 7y ago
No stank. Lol
swimminginblue 7y ago
One step forward two steps back
no_delay1 7y ago
Lol that's net negative
cl3537 7y ago
What are you doing step by step when you get them to your place? If a girl is willing to come back to your place after a date she is DTF but you still have to lead and not hesitate in the face of shit tests or resistance.
The problem seems to be there.
Scenario1 was cringe worthy, you let a girl stay over without fucking her. That is awful how does that even happen? find your balls.
The problem seems to be there.
no_delay1 7y ago
Your response to scenario 1: noted. Would agree with you. Only explanation I can offer is being tired after closing a place out and lots of drinks.
As far as scenario 2:
-open apartment door.
-show my place
-offer couch
-make a drink together
-put on music
-chat and escalate
-kiss
-heavy kissing
-pickup and carry to room
-keep going etc
cl3537 7y ago
Scenario 1:
I still make/have made the same mistakes you made, dates are too long, go too late and I hesitate when/if going back to the sex location. Your dates are too long, your intention is not deliberate enough and your intention of sex is not being clearly communicated.
After three bars and drinks don't do anything in your place except escalate and go for sex. Push her up against the wall start making out as soon as you enter your place and then take her to couch,floor or bed and seal the deal.
Scenario 2: How much escalation/sex talk happened before you took her to your place?
'Sounds Good' is not good its still butthurt and clearly fake. Just give a sly smile and back off and do something else and then you can continue later. The trick is to change the subject and not make her feel totally awkward so she doesn't leave.
Sometimes you won't succeed and the girl really doesn't want a ONS but if you act butthurt or can't even bring her to the door you are burning that bridge.
NeezaPatricia 7y ago
it's usually understood when a girl ended up in your place after some drinks that you'll have sex. with all the rape culture and harassment pervading the media and the current feminist state of the law, i'm willing to bet she's setting you up for rape or any some sort of harrasment. after some heavy kissing and petting she's banking on you to be so horny to stop.
no_delay1 7y ago
Maybe but don't think my scenario fits.
cannibalstreudel 7y ago
Here's a better question... Why would you want to see girl #2 again? That's super shitty of her. Disrespectful. I'd soft next her and let her reach out to me... Or not. And move on.
cl3537 7y ago
He acted butthurt she wasn't going to put out. There is no way this girl is contacting him.
What is with this angry next next next crap with every women who isn't a robot who doesn't do exactly what you want?
Terrible advice, I would reach out to her, 1 day after, pretend/ignore the LMR and ask her out again to a bar near your place and take her back to yours. If she agrees to go back to yours she will be ready this time.
If she doesn't take your text or doesn't agree to meet than you know where you stand and can just ghost her. The good thing about getting close is that you made your intentions clear and its very likely the next time you meet she will fuck you.
no_delay1 7y ago
Agree. Done.