COMES FOR A MOVIE AT MY PLACE (people seem to only reed the title)
- I'm 20 years old, she is almost 18 and looks 9/10.
- First 3 dates were great, yet she gives me the cheek when I try to kiss at end of date.
- Has no problem at all with me touching hair, hands, back etc. And I do it quite a lot.
- Stood up on 4th date (overslept and apologized), agreed to make it up to me and come for a movie at my place tomorrow (As I see it - for her, a movie is just a movie...).
What is really happening here? I feel like she is "shy" and "conservative", yet I know this mindset of mine is very fucked up. So 2 questions : 1. How should I behave tomorrow? 2. What to do if she again gives the cheek again? Is it possible that she just takes things slowly?
aleddito 5y ago
Update on what happened bro?
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I cannot believe that all these dildos here are saying to next her. She is agreeing to Netflix and chill, and everybody here is cackling like a bunch of oldmaids about the '3 date rule'.
Shit. If you listen to them, you deserve to be incel.
GrandmasterHurricane 5y ago
4th date and you still haven't kissed. Youre a bitch in her eyes. Eject now. Cancel those pla s u had with her, delete her number and text thread, delete her off all your social media. Move on. This one is wasting your time. Go work on yourself some more and approach other girls.
BusterVadge 5y ago
You're an orbiter. A ticket for free food and entertainment. Next her.
rpsheepdog 5y ago
I don't wanna be "that guy" but I'd use caution when dealing with a girl who is under 18, I know laws exist that allows adults to date underage girls but that is some major thin ice, especially if you have sex with her. Furthermore if she is still in high school her whole life existence is most likely very limited and she probably plays all kinds of drama games.
Lastly, dog, you have been in orbit, cancel the movie date, and tell her that you have to go to the gym, and then go to the gym.
[deleted] 5y ago
This is what I was thinking. Tf is a 20 year old doing dating a high schooler.
[deleted] 5y ago
I personally believe if she doesn't put out in 2-3 dates she's not into you
majorketone 5y ago
3 dates and not even a kiss is not good bro. Follow the three date rule.
DadOnDabs 5y ago
3 date rule? 1 date rule. She has 1 date to show me why she deserves a second. Doesn't have to end it sex but for damn sure not a fucking cheek kiss ????????
The_Lightskin_Wonder 5y ago
Well anything more than 1 date and she's technically doesn't need the 2nd date lmao
rpsheepdog 5y ago
this right here!
AlexideTocque 5y ago
It sounds like you're hamstering. You're rationalizing her behavior of why she hasn't slept with you. You can try to go on the date and seduce her, but I think she has already put you in the BP category. I would use this as a learning opportunity for why you need to be more assertive and ghost.
Pluglord 5y ago
Overslept lol. You’re an orbiter.
[deleted] 5y ago
Uhhh this is an easy one, next that girl
Call me a prude, but I'm 21 and my man this is the prime of our lives.
The focus of your life should be on your hustle, your mission, your vision, your grind to get to the lifestyle you dream of but with work can and WILL get to.
Girls are a distraction from that, which is fine, so is hanging out with the boys, watching some TV or a movie every now and then, listening to music, going to a concert, going to clubbing, going to the museum, travelling, etc
Make any one single of those things your purpose and oh boy are you in for a rough ride.
Now you might be wondering that I portrayed quite the slippery slope, which is fair, but I'm using this as a setup for my main point.
If it's been three dates and nothing physically tangible has come out of this, the investment you're putting into this one girl vs what you could be putting into your hustle is out of balance at the moment my friend.
HARD NEXT/IGNORE, if she hits you up you only make your appearance if it's to go to her place or for her to come to yours.
Salut
trytobiz 5y ago
You are 100% correct, very helpful comment and that mindset is defiantly something I will adapt.
But if the date at my place ("a movie") is already set (tomorrow) - I see no reason to cancel it. I will try to escalate, and if she still "cheek kisses", I just NEXT.
GrandmasterHurricane 5y ago
Dude stfu. You had 4 opportunities already and you hafent done shit with them. I kiss girks on the cheek just to say hello. Its over. The last move you can make that can make you look good and restore some dignity back into your weak self is for you to CANCEL on HER! It's over. You already lost. Move on.
white_girl_lover 5y ago
She fucked another guy when she "overslept". Whatever. Plenty of other girls out there. Where do u think you can improve on?
[deleted]
antariusz 5y ago
Right, and she’s “making it up to him” because the other dude isn’t returning her phone calls.
white_girl_lover 5y ago
Shes gunna flake again and say she underslept this time
boy_named_su 5y ago
Hey you know astronaut John Glenn? Cuz you're an orbiter
mazraj99 5y ago
She isn't interested, stop talking to her and see if she comes back.
Black_m0ngoose 5y ago
Orbiting at 1,000,000,000km/hr.
PurpleSweetz 5y ago
You need to escalate as much as possible when she's over your place for the movie. Don't be a bitch about your intentions or "try and play it safe". Go get it.
If she declines, it's a hard next.
Zanford 5y ago
You're a beta orbiter. Suggest drinks at your place. It's been 3 dates (well 4 with her flaking) If she declines, that proves it.
trytobiz 5y ago
You only read the title my friend. She comes for a movie AT MY PLACE. Not going out with her to the theater.
Zanford 5y ago
Ah right. Well in that case, she most likely still considers you an orbiter in light of everything else (stood up, denied kiss)...nonetheless, have her come over, maybe tell her what to wear, and once you are there, physically escalate.
P.S. Hugs and cheek kisses are worse than nothing. If a girl ever 'gives you the cheek', don't kiss the cheek, just shrug it off and go 'cya around' if it's at the end of the date.
NexusReflexX 5y ago
Everyone is saying next, but she offered a reschedule. If she comes over escalate aggressive ly. If she still denies your advancements just tell her to leave. This is her last chance.
If she fakes tomorrow next and drop her completely.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Most of the comments on here are uniformly negative.
Let me give you an alternate explanation:
She doesn't want you to think she's a slut.
If she lets you touch her a bunch, that suggests she's not repulsed by your physical presence. Women that don't like you at all as a man will not want you to touch them, and they will signal it in a number of ways from saying "don't touch me" to acting repulsed when you, and / or pulling away, putting distance, etc.
When I was in high school, women typically waiting for at least 1 month before having sex. And that's if they liked you. Once they had sex with you, then if you were good in bed, the sex would last indefinitely until one or more of you got bored. Also, college destroyed relationships because people were usually brainwashed to be an individual, just like all their friends, and go off in different directions. But I digress.
Anyway, you made it to Date 4, and it sounds like you have the greenlight. Just assume the sale and proceed like she wants you. Make sure you two are alone and that there are no interruptions, and then escalate, but don't necessarily assume you will get laid and assume that if you don't, it's bad. But if you don't have a long steamy make-out session with lots of heavy petting, you should probably start the dread and move on to other women because it signals that even if she is into you a bit, she's not so much into you that she can be swept away by your attempts to arouse her.
Edit:
Also, your logistics... why are you trying to kiss her at the END of the date? You should try and get her somewhere and into a situation where she will feel comfortable making out with you, somewhere where you two can be alone together without interruption. When you try to kiss her at the end, it's expected, and she suddenly feels pressure. Also, tension has been building all evening. Kissing at the end of the date is also a sitcom cliche. You see it in the media all the time. It's predictable and boring. You signal that you lack imagination when you do stuff like this.
GrandmasterHurricane 5y ago
Women made YOU wait for 1 month. Other guys were fucking on day 1. Thats what you dont get. If shes "making you wait" or you lack the spine to realize that youre getting played, you need to understand that that is not a norm.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
I was talking mostly about guys in high school and how things escalated with their girlfriends, not my own personal experience.
I've had girls who give it up on the first date, and I've had girls who wait a bit. Also, sometimes I'm the one who is making them wait.
I prefer the latter because their willingness to delay gratification signals that they might have some character and not be completely impulse driven. You're also assuming that because a girl waits, she isn't attracted, but that's not always the case, and you're assuming a guy can't tell the difference between the two.
Also, haven't you ever had a girl offer you sex, but then you turn it down because her eagerness to give it to you turns you off? I know I sure have. That's how attractive women feel. Guys are constantly offering them unsolicited sex, and the novelty of it wears off, and then it becomes a nuisance. Guys who are trying to get laid quick are also signalling a lack of impulse control, and possible desperation, as in, if they don't seal the deal right away, some other guy will get in there, which, let's face it, can be true. But if you come from a position of abundance, you don't care, because you can just go fuck somebody else, which you may already be doing.
Anyway, I think that one should try to get a kiss on the lips at the end of the first date IF one is certain that one likes the girl. If she doesn't give a solid kiss by the 4th date, there's probably nothing there.
If a girl fucks you on the first date, she's not blown away by how amazing and attractive you are, she's a tramp with poor impulse control, which admittedly, is MOSTLY what our modern mass society produces. Chemistry is cheap. You can feel it with a lot of people. If she fucks you just because she feels chemistry without knowing much about you, she'll then fuck the next guy she feels chemistry with, and the one after that.
Also, this is leading towards an AWALT debate...
GrandmasterHurricane 5y ago
I'm not gonna read all that man
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Lol.
throwawayflatwhite 5y ago
I see where you are going with this. But how can you distinguish between girlfriend-material-girls who are somewhat more responsible with giving away sex and sluts who are playing hard to get?
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Well, time will tell. Some girls, the smart ones, will sow a few wild oats in their teen and early college years, and then settle down, meaning, they KNOW they are behaving in a slutty manner, but are only doing it to get it out of their system. Then they settle down with as high a value guy as they can find. This will manifest as have several serial monogamous relationships where the experiment a bunch with a guy they find a attractive.
The stupid ones will get greedy and fuck as many guys as they can get their hands on.
Then you have the ones that are trying to be virtuous. They can still wind up getting conned by guys that are out of their league, until they get smart and settle. Or they can never wise up and just get perennially used, which is easy because their SMV drops over time, so even as they lower their standards, they get used by guys whose SMV is going up.
Then you have women that won't put out until marriage... but then become sluts after the fact when they find the sex dissatisfying.
Then you have the sluts who just embrace the ideology of sluttiness as being virtuous, and they don't try to hide it, but try to get it accepted. They'll get used by high SMV guys, and try to exploit low SMV guys in exchange for provisioning.
I think, to answer your question, it's about motivation. What is motivating the girl in life? Does she want a family, a career, wealth, etc? Does she have values? Does she go to church? A strong family? How many boyfriends has she had? What is her sexual past? Now, girls often lie about their sexual past, but not so much the other stuff. So, if she's a careerist who wants to climb the corporate ladder, is irreligious, is in her 30s, it would be hard to believe she's only had a few partners if she's hot. Also, watch how she acts around other guys. Does she flirt or act reserved? I'm frequently in a social setting where I see all kinds of behavior. The girls that seem the most respectable are the ones who don't flirt with other guys in front of their boyfriends or husbands. They act reserved and limit the attention they pay other men. They avoid sitting near them, and if engaged will make excuses to go do other things, as they don't want to lead anyone on. These are women that are secure in their romantic partner choice. On the other end of the spectrum, you have women that ignore their partners in social settings, or even disparage them.
I would also say that sluts don't typically play hard to get with guys that know how to arouse a woman. Meaning, if a woman says she's not going to sleep with you, but she responds to your arousal techniques on the first date, that's an example of a slut being a slut. On the other hand, if you suck at arousal, the slut will hold off sleeping with you because she thinks you aren't into her, or you're gay, or don't get it. If enough dates pass without you pushing through her LMR, she'll get bored and move on. Many women define their value based on how much resistance they put up for you to get through. They view girls who give it up easy as cheap, worse than prostitutes. They don't want to think of themselves that way.
throwawayflatwhite 5y ago
Good points, thank you
offbeast 5y ago
too many dates with no escalation, next her. also make sure you know your areas laws of consent if shes considered a minor where you live.
manwithoutwire 5y ago
Lmao. I made out with 3 girls at the club last night, small venue too. I'm average looking but it's obvious I lift. All decent looking too. She clearly isn't interested, even girls who aren't interested in a second date hand out kisses like candy in my experience. She must really not respect you if no kiss yet, even then I'm personally not interested in prudes, there are too many women who want to be sexual out there to deal with stiffs. The answer is obvious - NEXT.
You're a prince, and the entertainment this time sucked, so you seek more.
DoYouConcur29 5y ago
Put your hand over the side of her neck and jaw and gentle pull her toward you so that its a mouth kiss. If she rejects it as this point - she's either very inexperienced and shy OR not interested.
trytobiz 5y ago
Well, from what I can see - it is very reasonable that she is inexperienced.
DoYouConcur29 5y ago
Then you may be in a good position here. So what was the outcome of this date?
DaishobuDeku 5y ago
First of all, there's a common three date rule. If they don't have sex with you past three dates SHES NOT WORTH IT. You are the prize, not her. She's WASTING your time. However, she is coming over to your place tomorrow. So in regards to your questions...
Escalate non-stop. Experiencing resistance, try again in another 5 minutes. As long as she doesn't leave, it's basically free reign to keep going. She's coming over to your place, great time to fuck her after wasting so much of your time...
friendandadvisor 5y ago
First of all, the fucking 3 date rule is a general guideline, not an unbreakable Law!
Some of the great ones here have even gone for a 4th date, and scored BIG.
The rest of your post is good.
[deleted] 5y ago
When the next one wanders along, don't touch her hair until intimacy is established.
chazthundergut 5y ago
Cancel the movie date. Tell her something came up, and stop texting her altogether.
She is using you for your time and validation. Stop giving them to her.
Her pussy < your time. If she's not giving you sex, don't her your time.