I've been feeling this for some time now and wondering if others have experienced this.
Background
Most of the time I am narcissistic, have self love, feel content in life, give 0 fucks about what people think, do anything to self amuse, and have 100% surety in myself-rock solid frame
I am usually grinding: lift multiple times a week, eat healthy, read a lot, meditate, work full time, talk to and hang out with friends, want to start my own businesses, have a FWB, trying to get more plates, etc.
The Issue
Days like today where I slept in, am just chilling and have more free time (still lifted, read, meditated today), I feel random periods of self doubt. I've come so fucking far in my red pill journey, one of those incel to chad stories, but I still feel doubt from time to time.
This weekend I hung out with 2 extremely BP people, and it made me fucking sad to see how deeply social conditioning inflicts them. I find myself not wanting to have male friends anymore, because all of my old friends, and even new guys I meet, spout BP bullshit about relationships, girls, have victim mentality, are always bitching about X or Y, and low vibration energy. I literally feel my energy getting sucked out, because of the negativity.
Very rarely, I'll randomly feel bouts of extreme depression. It's when I've been alone at home for a while, have not talked to anyone, and feel lonely.
I NEED time to myself. There are times when I want to be alone, don't want to be bothered, and could not imagine living with a girl. However, every time I feel this bout of huge depression, it's when I've been alone at home and not talked to anyone.
I'm a happy, life of the party type of guy. I love working to improve myself and find this journey to be a very enjoyable, but lonely one; I also find myself unable to relate to people, because I don't watch Netflix, haven't seen the latest "Game of Thrones" season, don't watch porn, play video games, etc.
Any Advice?
Do I need to strike a healthier balance and include some of those recreational activities more in my life? Or am I right in assuming that 99%+ of guys are just blue pilled and I can't relate.
Honestly, I don't even know what the fuck I expect from this post, but maybe someone else has felt/feels the same way and can help out, or an EC can enlighten me.
latelaranadecarlota 5y ago
Everyone gets down sometimes, it’s part of being human. Just accept it and take the time for yourself when you need it. I find it helps me to find little treats for myself during those times. If I want to lay around and read Reddit, I do so guilt free. If I want to grab some fast food and a milkshake so be it. I can come out if that time mentally refreshed and refocused. Constant self improvement is difficult and draining. I think it’s important to recognize down time and use it to refresh and prevent burnout. You can come out if these experiences with vigor and excitement in moving toward your goals.
RedPilledRoaster 5y ago
Meditation.
Rely on your personal achievements for self-confidence, not external factors.
Immune2DNP 5y ago
I meditate everyday.
Yeah, I always think towards my accomplishments and how far I've come. However, now that I've gotten this far, this is the new norm and I have even higher goals set for myself.
I'm still not sure what's causing this/how to resolve. Usually the next day things are good, but I'm not sure why I feel like this in the first place.
person8445 5y ago
I only scan read this, tbh I only really read the title. But I think I know what you mean. Try to distinguish logical thinking from emotional thinking.
Immune2DNP 5y ago
You should read the entire thing. Your answer is kind of applicable though, because I do feel extreme depression for no reason from time to time.
person8445 5y ago
I get it too. Not as bad from the sounds of it. But I'll make incredible progress - like, I can actually fucking talk to girls now (which already sounds lame that its even an achievement). I even fucked a girl from tinder (I know, hold your praise). Anyway, I'm proud of the progress im making even if I have far to go BUT even then, I'll still feel like shit for tiny stupid things like a girl taking a long time to message me or making mistakes in my game. Anyway man, typing that out actually helps realise how I can let my emotions override my logic xD
Immune2DNP 5y ago
Yeah exactly, also any progress is progress. I used to be totally autistic with girls and now if I know a girl is kind of into me, I can game the shit out of her.
I think when we have our little fuck ups, it brings back memories of who we USED to be, even though we aren't that person anymore. Maybe it's just me, but I'm becoming more accepting of any mistake, because everyone, even the natural born alpha chad, makes mistakes.
Mr_Badass 5y ago
Imposter syndrome. Possible Cyclothymic disorder caused by excessive mastubration (dopamine resistence ).
Immune2DNP 5y ago
I used to have imposter syndrome REALLY bad. I mean I couldn’t objectively assess how far I’d come. Now I only feel it once in a blue moon. I guess 1.5 years of improvement on a couple of decades of BP conditioning isn’t enough.
I have noticed serious progress though, so in another 1.5 years I’ll likely feel this even less frequently.
I don’t jerk off so it’s not that.