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Ask questions related to TRP, dating, life advice.
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WISE_TURD 6y ago
You did ok. If you'd have put in a good word for him, then that'd have been another thing.
Being machiavellian/dark triad isn't always the same as being alpha. Be machiavellian when your career's involved.
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WISE_TURD 6y ago
Trp has good articles on dark triad
Also check out 48 laws of power for more info.
kellykebab 6y ago
Yeah, but ignoring someone's request for help or failing to be nice to a former bully is hardly dark triad manipulation.
If someone was an asshole to you, you don't owe them the time of day.
WISE_TURD 6y ago
I think you have to choose between these two laws (48 laws of power): Law 2 - Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies Law 15 - Crush your enemies totally
kellykebab 6y ago
Well, you don't have to choose between those rules. That's just some book.
Using your enemies is a great strategy, but OP wasn't doing that. He gained nothing by being nice and helping the guy out. He just bitched out.
If he didn't see any apparent strategy, being cold and unhelpful would be perfectly fine. It's not like there's a major benefit to using your enemies that you don't get by using your friends. And if this OP's main reaction was disgust at this jerk, he should have acted on that. It's totally okay to softly punish enemies without spending all your time scheming over them.
boolDozer 6y ago
Now that OP wasn't cold, though, he's in a good position. He may not have a strategy yet, but may be able to approach the guy in the future for something. Let alone just growing a possible network, weak ties are powerful
NwAlf 6y ago
Agree with this. The jerk may think that he was nice and that could be helpful in the social arena, if OP shares it with the jerk. Now he has an enemy who thinks they are not enemies anymore, even though OP did nothing to help him (actually, the opposite). OP did a no-favour to the jerk, and he will be grateful (maybe).
I understand OP when he says he feels like a little bitch, but it was not so horrible at the end. As I said, now he has possibly a person who thinks he was trying to help, OP was someone who, apparently, tried to help him when in need (when actually did not happened). Truly machiavellic, I think, even if it was done with no purpose.
kellykebab 6y ago
Setting boundaries is as important as having a network. OP's bully will have a psychological edge if he knows that OP is both willing to put up with bullying and do him favors. This will incentivize the bully to take advantage of OP in the future, because he isn't worthy of respect.
Your strategy runs dangerously close to OP just being a doormat and punching bag for others.
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
You're being a beta bitch right now for reacting negatively for something so small.
Being alpha doesn't mean that you hold grudges for life and squash anyone who ever dared disrespect you. Being the alpha and the bigger man means that your life is so awesome and positive that old high school drama shit doesn't matter to you. You should have an attitude that you're so happy and you love yourself so much that you need to share and spread that love. I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but to me, you were the bigger man.
mr-satan 6y ago
The most important thing is that you're aware you made a mistake, in hindsight.
I personally think you were just trying to be a pleasant person. It happens. No need to get ultra-critical about it and call yourself a faggot.
[deleted] 6y ago
Stop being so hard on yourself.
That's it.
Licheno 6y ago
You did good. Pride doesn't mean you have to start streetfights with random douchebags that could beat you. Even if you were the most skilled fighter in the world, it is not worth it. When you are in these kind of situations, ignoring and even being polite it's the best thing to do
jb_trp 6y ago
Stop trying to get people to like you by being "nice," and instead be the sort of person that you can be proud of, whether everyone likes you or not.
Thizzlebot 6y ago
Eh I'm going to go against the grain here but maybe he changed. I'm literally cool with every single person that used to be a dick to me in highschool. Maybe try the high ground, Anakin.
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PaperStreetVilla 6y ago
Quit defending your ego and go lift.
if you're as he describes, you can do just about anything and make gains. You can eat catshit and pick up rocks and still put on 5 lbs in a 3 month span.
metric_units 6y ago
5 lb ≈ 2.3 kg
^metric ^units ^bot ^| ^feedback ^| ^source ^| ^block ^| ^v0.9.0
oldslut 6y ago
NMMNG would probably help you. i get the feeling that you might be getting walked all over in many parts of your life because you've been programmed to be nice and get along with everyone rather than stand up for yourself. i'm not saying you should have fought the dude, but you didn't have to lick his balls either
nartiz 6y ago
You did ok. He was not hired.
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[deleted] 6y ago
You can say whatever you want, doesn't matter. You held face, kept things good in the public eye... this kept him from being a drama queen for not gettting what he wants. You then told your boss not to hire him, which makes this bully an even bigger dunce. Really OP, seems like you unintentionally had complete control over the situation
NavyBlueCrow 6y ago
Look at this from the other side. You could say fuck off, argue with him, but for what reason? What would you gain? You were smart and you wasted his time. Being alpha isn't about "come at me bitch i'm gonna destroy you" it's about being smart and free of bullshit.
joedevice 6y ago
Pretty much this. Sure some people want to "show total domination at all times" however how does not doing that affect you. It won't lower your SMV, no-one saw. You told your boss he's not hireable so he didn't get the job. Hassle free on your end. I'd have done the same.
The only thing that's changed is your perception of yourself.
RunawayGrain 6y ago
What were you gonna do? Beat the shit out of him in the street? Have a beta emotional tantrum at the bully? Tell him to fuck off and possibly get into a fight with someone who's already shown propensity for violence? All of these direct confrontation scenarios on your job site present some serious possible negative outcomes for you, not the least of which is getting fired.
You just handled it in a businesslike manner, referred him to the person who's job it is to make hiring and firing decisions, then educated that person and let them do their job. You 'won' by virtue of handling it in the manner which produced the most consistent benefit to you.
kellykebab 6y ago
There is no benefit to helping a former bully.
The best option would be to calmly refuse to help without explanation.
Claiming that the only options are either a street fight and helping to further this guy's career is false.
You can set boundaries without throwing a fit.
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kellykebab 6y ago
Yes, you're right. The other guy is being ridiculous.
I wouldn't even reference the mistreatment, though. If he asks for help, just tell him, "nah," and let him figure out why. He doesn't even deserve to see you upset.
yes_we_can_t 6y ago
I agree with the /u/RunawayGrain. You have nothing to gain by telling your enemies they are your enemies.
You unintentionally handled it the best way. Next time do it on purpose the same way.
Frdl 6y ago
The guy had to come grovelling to a guy he used to bully to beg for a job. You can take solace in the fact that he's lost all self-respect. I think saying "sure I'll put in a good word", and then doing nothing is better than "nah". He's probably at home praying that you'll pull through. Nah, keep handing out your resume to gas stations.
nartiz 6y ago
Dueling until dead or being is best buddy are out of options I hope so well you ensured he was not hired and it's ok. The getting out of car to greet him yes it's ridiculous but why you are over thinking this?
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nartiz 6y ago
Then YOU need to address it. Almost and 0 is the same, in the end you didn't(fuck still thinking that it was to replace you) . You care for yourself and your siblings if you have any . The rest of advice is waste of advice
chippertrp 6y ago
Yeah, I used to be like this. That was just a reflex. Kind of like when someone puts out their hand you shake it. You see someone you haven't seen for a while and you say shit you don't mean.
Don't worry, as you get older, you'll be able to handle things like this better. Next time it happens, you'll do better and then you will get over this.
Zweihander747 6y ago
Want to stop being such a beta?
Easy. Just think about yourself. Only ever think about whats good for you, and you only.
Give zero fucks about whats good for anyone else, unless its good for you too, and to anyone who tries get in way of you doing whats best for you or tells you only caring about yourself is wrong, tell them to fuck right off.
Doing what's right for you is the most right thing there is in the universe!
[deleted] 6y ago
This isn't beta.
I've seen kids (way smaller than me now) that used to bully my in high school in the gym struggling & I've helped them with their form.
When you have a chance to truly ridicule someone that wronged you & pass on it that is alpha, not beta.
rockybottom69 6y ago
You need to align your actions with your feelings. Your actions in and of themselves aren't the issue. There wouldn't be an issue with you helping him, if on the inside you had forgiven him and not given two shits about the past because everything's cool gravy for you now in the present. The reason you feel bad is because you hate this guy but your actions were not in alignment with your feelings. It's a matter of acting in alignment with your thoughts and feelings. All of it needs to line up and not contradict. Life becomes a lot easier when you're not questioning your actions and beating yourself up over petty shit.
Go read NMMNG like others have said and start behaving in a way that originates from your best interests, not from a place of consideration for others.
Black_Pill_Pastor 6y ago
Worrying about what's alpha and beta is the most beta thing you could do. Quit seeking validation and trying to prove yourself. All alpha shit is just seeking female approval. Just do what you want and better yourself for you.
Kisstafer1 6y ago
It's okay, just stay beta, we need guys like you to raise our babies
[deleted] 6y ago
We need more men like you, makes our lives easier