I receive shaming shit tests, but only from men. I'm talking about when someone's beliefs don't align with mine and they say something condescending and shake their head in disappointment, or when they attack me for something I didn't do that is completely unnecessary to be done in the first place and has nothing to do with them. I've responded in a myriad of ways. Agree and amplify makes me feel like a bitch since it involves strengthening their argument and feeds their flame further, pressure flip unnecessarily escalates the situation, and disagree and amplify doesn't make any sense to use in this situation. The only viable response seems to be to snicker and ignore or to ignore all together. Maybe I just answered my own question, but I'd like your feedback on this. Thanks!
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vandaalen 6y ago
Example
strikethrough123 6y ago
I was at work putting some product on shelves and a middle-eastern Muslim dude starts talking to me asking where I'm from, I tell him I'm middle-eastern as well and he asks me if I pray with hands by my sides or hands folded (He assumed I was Muslim, I am no longer Muslim), I told him I wasn't Muslim and he resorts to shaming, shaking his head, and scoffing. I pressure flipped and it escalated to an argument.
Another example would be when a customer shamed me for not helping the owner out with purchasing wholesale product, which in my head made completely no sense. I again pressure flipped by asking him if he always meddles in other people's business.
WhorehouseVet 6y ago
Good for you to stand your ground. I think people are just looking for confirmation bias, when you don't fit their stereotype, they get annoyed.
I secretly want to tell these people to GTFO.
atlastic1 6y ago
"The lion does not concern himself over the opinions of sheep" - my favourite TRP quote of the month. When some rando can make you angry in an instant, your mentality is wrong, nobody should be able to make you feel anything without your consent if you are being stoic. Who cares what he thinks? Just another religious sheep - his beliefs will lead him straight into the jaws of the wolves, leave him to it.
Also working retail customers will say anything to get discounts and perks, they get away with irrational arguments most places because the customer is always right, essentially they just want to annoy you into helping them.
trpthrowaway2003 6y ago
Are you young or something?
Why does everyone around you seem to think they have any say in your life?
Instead of pressure flipping, in that situation just tell him you aren't looking for his opinion on the matter and then walk away.
This sounds like the owner is complaining behind your back.
It also sounds like you are putting up with some whacky bullshit at a shit job. Go to Udemy.com and learn some programming or networking and get outta that place.
strikethrough123 6y ago
Yeah, it's a temporary necessity for now. I've been dealing with shit tests like these for a while. I'm 20 and look younger, so I can understand why someone would want to try to mold me into their image. Thanks for your feedback!
Arhamzubair 6y ago
Why wouldn't A&A work? Its pretty robust in that sense. Work on your comedic reflexes. Take an improv acting course so you can think on your feet.
strikethrough123 6y ago
AA is my usual MO to handle shit tests from women, but shit tests from men are quite different and involve much more power-seeking and comments with a threatening subtext. If you AA with some of these shit-tests you're backing off from a challenge and you'll lose some leverage.
Desadarius 6y ago
Ignore or laugh or agree and amplify