Hey guys, I've been trying to spin a couple plates this summer but I keep catching feelings, and it's starting to affect my work life (stress) and lifting (inability to focus). One day I'll feel like an ice cold pimp, but other days I feel that oneitis feeling creeping up even though I have two other plates who are in love with me. I'm really at a loss here, abundance isn't helping me much, and I feel that my focus is being shifted inward. Is there anything else that I can do to get the inner bitch out of me besides fucking even more girls (that doesn't seem to be helping my mindset)?
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break1ngbard 7y ago
What worked for me was setting the tone for completely transparent, safe-space conversation about past sexual encounters and craziest things we've done before with others.
When you start to think of the picket fence shit remember that hoe-shit she did with Chad and it should help to keep her in plate status in your mind.
Tl;DR - Learn more about her so that she becomes more AWALT and less unicorn.
Doctorpepperpants 7y ago
Thanks for the input, I've never tried that. Usually I go into it with the mindset that I'm the greatest dude she's ever been with just to maintain my frame and her interest level, but I never really considered honestly communicating with her so that I can see her for what she is.
break1ngbard 7y ago
You've gotta have an open mind - but it'll help you to remove pedestals completely.
htbf 7y ago
If you're truly in love, the way men can be for a girl, it will disgust you but won't kill the feelings. It's incredible how easily present feelings override rationality when in presence of a girl you love.
The only way to move past unwanted feelings is to take distance from the girl.
The real question in your case is why are your feelings for her distracting you ? I'm assuming you're having fun each time you see this girl and she likes to be around you too and that you too are fucking the way God intended. It should make you feel happy, confident and desirable. Is she doing things that make you doubt her attachment to you ? Are you desiring to spend even more time with her ? Do you feel you could drop her and be happy without her ?
Doctorpepperpants 7y ago
Really appreciate the input. Those are certainly questions that I've been trying to figure out the last couple of days. You're correct, when we are hanging out, it is amazing, I'm actually starting to get comfort tests from her rather than shit tests, and she has expressed to me how she wants to only be with me. What is throwing me off is how her phone is constantly blowing up with other dudes asking to hang out. We're both into photography so I have an instagram and noticed her posting pics with some of her guy friends. She also cut our time short last weekend to do a "modeling" shoot. It seems that her words aren't really lining up with her actions (even though I know she isn't fucking anyone else), but I'd hate myself for hard nexting her if the problem really lies within myself.
htbf 7y ago
I know that feeling, and I hate it too. I see a girl I'm with chatting with another dude by text and I feel it in my guts. I see her laughing with another dude and I have act quickly or it consumes me.
I'm not completely sure you can kill it. I was able to turn it down a bit by keeping a hold on my own feelings and consciously reminding myself that she's not special.
I really like this article and it helps a bit but again, I have to consciously remind myself of the theory to keep my feelings in check :
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4fw60s/man_affections_vs_boy_affections/
Doctorpepperpants 7y ago
I'll definitely check the article out later, thanks again. Yeah I have dealt with some serious oneitis before discovering trp, like most guys, but am completely thrown off by how I am still experiencing those same feelings in my gut by a plate especially when I'm spinning two other girls. You have a good point, I'm going to try to do my best to view her for what she is.
htbf 7y ago
Would you say your other two plates are as hot as her ? I noticed that I completely forget about my oneitis when I have a very hot girl in front of me.
Doctorpepperpants 7y ago
I'd say she is the hottest plate right now, I even went into it knowing that she was not relationship material because there were some red flags. Ironically the other two are actually well raised with strong father figures and never had any red flags. Man it is crazy how emotion can override logic even in situations like this. I'm thinking the best bet is to spend less time with her and more time with the girls who don't take it for granted.
vandaalen 7y ago
Having feelings for your plates is not the same as oneitis and not necessarily bad. You need to learn to manage your NRE though:
http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/07/23/how-to-deal-with-new-relationship-energy-nre/
http://www.francoseduction.com/neediness-management-2/
blackedoutfast 7y ago
how often are you seeing each of these plates? try to space it out so you only see them once a week or so. and stop doing relationship/date type stuff.
Doctorpepperpants 7y ago
Thanks for the advice. All of them are once per week, except this one girl who I've been seeing for 4 months who I've spend sat and sun together. That might be my mistake right there. What threw me off recently is that she cut our time short, which is equivalent to me cutting sex short with her.