Back story: Was with my girlfriend for over 4 years. Typical relationship shit. Ups and downs, but typically a healthy and happy relationship. Long story short, she "needed to find herself again because she was trying too hard to keep me happy and not herself" yada yada bullshit. We see each other for a few weeks after and then cut all contact.
In that time I got back in the gym, found and have maintained a couple plates, stepped my game up and so on and so forth after reading through TRP.
I receive this text about a week ago: "i’ve been thinking about you recently, us recently. i’m sorry we ended the way we did, i’m sorry i hurt you, i’m sorry i made you doubt yourself or what our relationship was. we had really great times and pretty bad times over the last four years, but i don’t regret any of it. i really started to lose myself in it all.. i felt so consumed by who i thought i needed to be or by who i thought i should be for you and our relationship and all the damage that has been done to the both of us just felt like a ship wreck and we were drowning no matter how fast we scooped the water out. i worried about my insecurities and jealousy. i lost sight of the things that mattered, like happiness and real feel it in your gut love. i’m not sorry we ended, i’ve found parts of myself the last two months that i’ve lost the past four years, and i look forward to rediscovering so much more about myself.. but i know what i did and how i did it was wrong, i apologize to you for that. you have your flaws like anyone else but you are a good person, and i’m sorry for making you feel otherwise."
She followed up with 2 more texts pretty much being pissed I didn't answer but I've been debating answering or not. No doubt about it I still love this girl so I guess thats my struggle in it all.
What's your advice?
EDIT: Thanks fellas. Didn't respond and went on my way. You were all right. She's a total hoe and I don't need to give her the time of day. Fuck that bitch.
hotrod1994 6y ago
Same shit happened to me, basically she broke shit off with me before truly giving me a chance because she all of a sudden had feelings for her ex came back. 6 months later she comes in and says she is sorry and was just going through a hard time yada yada yada. I end up taking her back and last month (5 months after she re-initiated contact) she decided to break things off again.
On another account I posted basically the same post on askTRP. Looking back on it now I mainly just asked because I was hoping the answers would tell me it was ok to take her back, not telling me what I actually needed to hear
Trust me, if you give her another chance, whenever it ends youre going to be kicking yourself for letting her back in. Some things just aren't meant to be, and I've had to learn that the hard way. Leave it dead.
chazthundergut 6y ago
"No doubt I still love this girl"
You are in a dangerous position here. Ghost.
Narcissist456 6y ago
If she meant any of the bullshit she spewed she wouldn’t have followed up with angry texts after you ignored her. This is all about attention/validation for her. Block her.
slimjim401 6y ago
Hes right you know, Same thing happend to me.... no reply is the best "fuck you cunt" you could ever do. Its validation and closure is what shes after and you owe her non of it
hawkeaglejesus 6y ago
lol, not much of an apology if she spends half the text pointing out his flaws and blaming him
[deleted] 6y ago
"Whose this?"
DiggerClam 6y ago
I can't believe how accurate the sidebar is.
Auvergnat 6y ago
you can't go wrong with a birthday cat emoji
Forgot_Pword 6y ago
gets pissed. well turns out she wanted attention, and a pat on the back for her apology and the "hard work" she did getting over it.
Give her props (mentally) for apologizing though.
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
How long have you been on this sub? What's the advice that we give to literally EVERY SINGLE ONE of you bastards about your magical ex?
Delete text thread, delete number, delete across all social media, block if you have to, and then go NO CONTACT for life
128bitworm 6y ago
Not your problem. Hasn't been for along time. Ignore and move on with your life.
that_italia_guy 6y ago
You still need to build more self confidence, esteem. And focus on your own needs. Otherwise you wouldn't have bothered posting this, because you would have had been able to make your own mind up about not bothering texting her back.
PBRistasty 6y ago
Made you doubt yourself or the relationship..... Pure projection.
She wants to find out if you still got dem feels for her.
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
She’s not entitled to have you answer. She’s not entitled to closure. Block her without replying. If you feel bad about it, Think about how she made you feel like shit, and how many ducks she rode, and then block that shit now.
UnluckyPenguin 6y ago
Sounds pretty similar to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7erd7v/revised_ex_wife_reaching_out_awalt/
Here's a great comment from there:
Thizzlebot 6y ago
Fucking nailed it brah. It's always about her and her narcissism. I broke up with my bitch and we got back together and she STILL didn't congratulate me on me getting my flight instructor cert while we were broke up and I had been working my ass off on that for a long time. Anytime you better yourself they don't give a fuck.
BasketCase559 6y ago
The fact that she turned hostile after you didn't respond should speak volumes. This text was disguised as an apology, but her follow up texts suggest otherwise.
lifeonlockdown 6y ago
What a fucking bullshit message. She knows damn well that saying all that would tear you up.
Ghost like you never got the message, and block her number.
ANY reply at all, no matter what you say will be validation for her. The great vacuum of silence will drive her little hamster into the insane asylum.
Serrano- 6y ago
Is that someone you really want to talk to? Fuck her she doesn't give a shit about you, sooner you realize the better
[deleted] 6y ago
She's looking for validation. Unless she's asking to meet up ignore her.
ieatxans 6y ago
Out of curiosity, validation for what though? I've been trying to figure that out as well. But yea that was my thought process on it along with a couple of close friends.
kick6 6y ago
She just got fucked&chucked so she doubts she’s “worth having.” She’s looking for you to still be torn up and “””lost without her.””” This would validate that she’s worth having. Rest assured: she DOES NOT want be had
[deleted] 6y ago
To see if you still have feelings for her. She wants to know that if she wants you back she can at any time. Don't give it to her.
ieatxans 6y ago
Easy enough.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Upvoting Carnac reference.
jay_jay_man 6y ago
Who is Carnac?
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Carnac the Magnificent
[deleted] 6y ago
She sucked random cock enough and feels she can settle now lmao
recursoinominado 6y ago
Not even that, she only want the "I still can get him (aka plan b)" feeling. As said before, she is feeling guilty and is using him for validation.
vandaalen 6y ago
To do what you should have done six mnonths ago: Block her everywhere and accept that she is dead.
ieatxans 6y ago
True. Phone number was the only thing I didn't block.
vandaalen 6y ago
You know what to do.
DadOnDabs 6y ago
Ignore her. Basic translation of what she said is, "I rode the cock carousel, met a Chad, he alpha widowed me, now I need a beta bucks. Come back to me!"
Ignore
martinger 6y ago
Exactly
fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- 6y ago
Step 1: Message from her to make you “validate” her “recognition” of things.
Step 2: “Fuck you” for not validating.
Girls who break things off to “find themselves” are either already fucking a new guy or just about to. This message to you was her way to alleviate some guilt by just saying it was something she “had to do.” Of course she doesn’t regret breaking up with you. She swallowed Chad’s cum. Maybe many Chads.
How dare you not acknowledge that she needed to consume Chad in order to know she may want you someday when all the Chads have had enough of her sluttiness.
Let me help you with your struggle. Should you get back with her at all, even for a night of fucking, you will taste Chad’s cum in her kisses. If you go down on her, you’ll be cleaning Chad’s cum out of her pussy. In other words, before you were a cuck due to circumstance. This time you’ll be a cuck by choice.
Narcissist456 6y ago
Exactly.
Thizzlebot 6y ago
It's a trap, send no transmission.
hawkeaglejesus 6y ago
Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.
I can give you a full in-depth analysis of her text message, but the short and sweet of it is: she's been pumped and dumped by multiple chads, her ego went to into panic mode and to quell it she needs to prove to herself that she's still capable of getting commitment, so she's testing the waters to see if you're still a good little beta bitch boy that she can use for emotional support and validation.
Verdict: do not answer her, ghost her ass, pass Go and collect new plates
speed3_freak 6y ago
"No worries"
That would be my reply. You got the text, you read the text, you think she's apologizing for something she shouldn't apologize for because you're doing great. You're not a terrible person so you aren't going to ignore it (this is someone you cared about at one time), but you aren't going to waste the energy talking about it or thinking about it.
No worries, have a great Thanksgiving. Any reply after that shouldn't get anything but a one word answer, or even better just a 'k'.
Remember, the opposite of love isn't hate or bitterness; it's apathy. Treat it the way you would treat a text from a coworker you care nothing about one way or another. Simple response that conveys that you don't care anything about having a conversation with them.
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
Too many words. The best reply us silence and moving on.
jay_jay_man 6y ago
Any reply would give her some validation, even if you responded with "eat shit" it'd mean she was worth responding to. No response is the best option, it sends the message to her that she's not worth anything to him.
speed3_freak 6y ago
I would think that a lack of a reply to something like that would more indicate that you're still upset about the situation and you're refusing to talk to her. Something like No worries would indicate that you aren't butt hurt and have completely forgiven her and moved on. She knows he got the message and if he isn't still upset then he obviously read it.
jay_jay_man 6y ago
This line of reasoning is the same as a woman deploying a shaming tactic to get a man to respond to her bullshit.
Our frame as redpill men is to focus on your mission, hitting the gym, meeting quality women, getting good plates, making money, etc. This chick could add nothing to OP's life, even reading her bullshit text was a waste of his time. Formulating a response even moreso.
OP should have done what I did, don't even waste time reading her message, instant delete. My ex tried to call me up from a hidden number
Her: "hey jay_jay_man (recognize the voice) [tries to say something]"
Me: "I'm busy right now, bye (busy with living my life)"
speed3_freak 6y ago
We'll just agree to disagree. It took me 8 seconds to come up with no worries, or about the amount of time it would have taken you to come up with I'm busy right now, bye. Only difference is that you are acknowledging that you received her text and don't care instead of ignoring it and making her probably assume that you're still upset about it.
Also, your frame as a redpill man isn't to focus on your mission etc, your frame should be that you can do whatever you want as long as you are proud for having done it. I wouldn't be proud of reading something like that and just dismissing it, but maybe you would. More than one way to skin a cat.
RedPillHanSolo 6y ago
Ah, the "wise and strong woman" act. Not only will you instill in her mind that you're plan B beta, you'll also admit to these babies:
"i hurt you"
I don't know if she did, but by answering to her, you're handing out power for free (essentially playing into her frame), so don't.
quicklogaccount 6y ago
Apologies accepted, maybe we'll bump someday.