Hi I found your subreddit and it looked like a good place for advice with men. Ive been looking for some advice on my relationship with my boyfriend lately he seems frustrated with me lots, I dont know if its something im doing or if he's going through some stuff? He doesn't talk to me about stuff like that mostly he talks to his guy friends so I'm a bit confused what to do.
We been dating since January and its my first real realationship. We met New years and I was done with highschool already in the past fall so I wasn't 100% if I was going to college or not so we decided I could move in with him like during the transitional fase. So we been living together maybe now for about 3.5 months now?
I think at first he was a little irritaed because Im a little absent minded and stuff but these days I dont know if he's angry at me or angry at work or something but I obviously dont want him to be angry at me, you know?
I dont know I just need a guys perspective because i dont know how dudes think you know? I searched google for "mens reddit realationships" and found this subreddit after r/theredpills so I thought I should ask you guys.
Anyway If you have any insights id appreciate it thanks!
greycloud24 11y ago
you are one of these two things 1) an internet troll, trying to bait people (although i doubt it will offend anyone here). 2) a person who is on the wrong channel.
i agree with walktillyoucrawl, the easiest fix to your problem is more blowjobs and more sandwiches. this will force him to be happier with you. if he was angry this will prevent him from staying angry.
4ft10azn 11y ago
ok
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
More blow jobs and more sandwiches.
4ft10azn 11y ago
seriously?
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
No. I mean it wouldn't hurt. But it seems you have it built up in your head. You are hamstering and there is no real issue. If the dude isn't treating you right you should leave him. But most of the time if you imagine there is a problem, a problem will manifest. Give him more space, make him go out with his friends at least once a weekend. Successful relationships are ones with two independent people who grow together.
gg_s 11y ago
Relationships are fundamentally transactional. A man seeks to obtain valuable feminine resources from a woman (sex, care) in exchange for his own valuable masculine resources (strength, guidance). Successful relationships are ones where this exchange remains lucrative. If either party rescinds their offer or fails to deliver, the relationship will falter. Recission is the principle behind dread game.
The "two independent people" study-buddy narrative is bullshit. Feminine women are naturally dependent.
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
Maybe I just never think of the woman sitting around waiting for me but you are right.
4ft10azn 11y ago
I mean he usualy is out with his friends unless we go out together sometimes. whats hamstering?
[deleted] 11y ago
Oh, man. You don't know much at all about Red Pill.
Go to the RedPillWomen subreddit (link to the right) and they'll get you up to speed.
39andNotFine 11y ago
Pro tip. If you wouldn't take a woman's advice about meeting/dealing with women. Don't offer advice to women about meeting/dealing with men. You really cannot help them. Especially in a male space like this where you know there are trolls, attention seekers and haters. Replying to the OP is a waste of time. Who could trust a fish that goes over to the next boat and says, how do I get that fisherman over there to catch me and keep me? LOL.
It is a male trait to problem solve. Resist the urge here and do the right thing. Tell them it will all work out, if it's meant to be it will be and let the deary go on her way.
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
Truth. However I like to show that we can be an open community to all genders. But let's totally see if this chick will post to gonewild
gg_s 11y ago
Why? TRP is expressly male-oriented.
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
The world is watching after that beta creep decided he was suddenly entitled to women.
4ft10azn 11y ago
I just looked gonewild up thats mean
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
Op please deliver
4ft10azn 11y ago
stop it!
lurkeryouredumb 11y ago
Oh my gooooooooood. Shut up stupid bitch.
You're the one who wandered in here looking for attention so you deserve everything you're getting.
If you're trying to invade this space then frankly I think you deserve worse but everyone has actually gone really easy on you.
4ft10azn 11y ago
stop it im not stupid bitch
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
Right not gonewild but a pm. I'm pretty low key too.
4ft10azn 11y ago
why are you being so mean to me? your a jerk
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
I think there is a song about it :) http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cej49JtMmjM Just messing with you because everyone here thinks you are a troll you shouldn't take it personally. We can verify authenticity with a GW post for all the guys here at TRP.
4ft10azn 11y ago
i don't want to do that
Pushnikov 11y ago
It's your first relationship.
Who cares about him. Maybe he's just an asshole, maybe he's bored with you, maybe he got what he wanted and doesn't want to deal with you anymore.
This is the same advice we would tell a guy around here. Find your own path. Be your own person. Find what makes you happy. No man can do that for a woman, and no woman can do that for a man. What you need is to decide what you want for yourself and go find it and learn how to be better at getting it. You're young, plenty of time to go out there and learn.
4ft10azn 11y ago
well I mean I care about him obviously since hes my boyfriend. and i try to do what he wants but you think maybe hes bored with me? I dont know about that though because hes off wokring so much i dont see him as much right now, you know?
Pushnikov 11y ago
That's the worst logic. You don't obviously care for someone because they're your boyfriend. You care about them, thus they are your boyfriend. Otherwise anyone could come in and say "I'm your boyfriend" and then you're obligated to care about them.
The most valuable thing someone told me about a relationship is that people always have time - for the right people. He doesn't have time for you because he doesn't want to have time for you.
You don't have to care about him. Go do your own thing. Go be a better person and stop worrying about anyone that gets in your way.
FinnianWhitefir 11y ago
I really like how Patrice puts it. Numerous times during the Black Phillip Show he'd go "I tell people we're not together. I'm with her. She's with me. Either of us can choose to change that at any minute."
4ft10azn 11y ago
thats what I meant. I mean I care about him so hes my boyfriend.
Walktillyoucrawl 11y ago
When I say I work a lot. It usually means you aren't very high on my priorities list.
4ft10azn 11y ago
no its just because hes busy right now with a few events all at once, its not like hes always super busy
[deleted] 11y ago
This is simple: you think it's all about you. It's not.
You moved in too fast.
4ft10azn 11y ago
I do? what do you mean?
laere 11y ago
solipsism
4ft10azn 11y ago
what?
[deleted] 11y ago
This is what we mean by "solipsism". All humans are, to a greater or lesser extent, solipsistic -- they think the world revolves around them. Females are emotionally solipsistic -- they tend to think that emotions in non-communicative individuals are caused by something the woman did. This may be the case, but is not always.
Your guy is a psychologically complex individual, with many cares, concerns, challenges and complications. If you are interpreting his behavior as reflecting on you, either 1) you actually did something you know you did that pissed him off, or 2) you're being paranoid.
Red pill deals in generalizations, which women are generally poor at interpreting. (See, there's a generalization right there, and 9/10 women would be pissed at it.) Really, honestly, truthfully... if you learn nothing else in the next 10, 30, 365 days, learn this; it is not. always. about. you. Sometimes it is a coincidence.
He won't tell you about it, fine. He probably hasn't told his friends either. (You are jealous of his intimacy with them, well, male intimacy comes from shared activities and interests, not shared secrets and communication.) He will either talk about it, or he won't. If you want to be a good woman, let your man be a man. "Strong, silent type", right? John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Humphrey Bogart... you think they kvetched to their ladyfriends about bogusness in their lives? Not. freakin'. likely.
So, he's got a problem. He's working through it. If you can help him, go ahead and ask, but if you can't, then let it go. I know that's hard, but that's the way it is.
And you guys moved in together too quickly. You don't know enough about each other to really be able to relate properly. Moving out might save the relationship; otherwise in my opinion it is possibly doomed. But, then again, what the hell do I know? I'm just a guy on the Internet.
What's the one thing you need to learn in the next 10, 30, 365 days? Go read it again, and take it to heart.
I wish you well. Treat your man well. ;)
edit:words
4ft10azn 11y ago
that its not always about me?
AlmostRP 11y ago
More information needed...
How old are ya'll?
Do you feel like he is higher value than you? As in, if the other response of "more sandwiches more blowjobs" was accurate, would you be willing to do that?
Any more specifics on actual times he was frustrated with you, specifically?
Overall, I'm not sure this isn't a troll, but you could be really lost. /r/redpillwomen may be a better source of answers for you, but I'll try if you can give more specifics.
4ft10azn 11y ago
Im 20 and hes 34. higher value? liek he definitely makes more than me. He does event promotion and stuff like that.
uh actualy he gets irritated things like when were out at a club or an event if I go off and dance with guys and stuff? which I think is silly because its just dancing. Or if I leave the apartment a mess or im late getting back or late going somewhere. And I am doing better on things like you say like putting it in my mouth when he wants. At first I wasnt and it would piss him off, you know?
whats redpillwomen? I thought this was were you were supposd to ask guys questions.
AlmostRP 11y ago
Oh shit. I try to be nice in this subreddit, but I'm having a hard time not chuckling at this. You are pretty lost. Click the link I gave you and ask this question there. They may get annoyed but you are too much to help for what is mostly men trying to help men... You need to learn the very basics, and I think you can probably get that best from other women... ( /r/redpillwomen )
4ft10azn 11y ago
ok I'm sorry
AlmostRP 11y ago
No need to be sorry, props to you for trying your best and looking for answers.
4ft10azn 11y ago
I tried to ask them but when I made my post it said I cant post there
FinnianWhitefir 11y ago
So you do something, he gets irritated at it, you think it's silly, and I'm guessing you go do it again? I would likely grow irritated and distant were my SO not listening to me about the things that irritated me. And I'd expect that vice-versa.
4ft10azn 11y ago
I guess thats true?
FinnianWhitefir 11y ago
You need to communicate more and have a dialogue. I don't understand if this means "I guess that is true, I'm going to keep doing it, no reason to change my life to make my relationships better" or if it is "I guess that's true, I should look at how my ignoring his irritations are affecting us and stop doing things that cause problems in my relationship while being clearer to him what things I wish he would change".
4ft10azn 11y ago
I guess its my fault for doing it?
FinnianWhitefir 11y ago
That isn't an answer to the clarification I asked for. But yes, if someone keeps doing things they know irritates their partner, I would claim it is that person's fault for the relationship being bad.
4ft10azn 11y ago
i need to try and be better
captainbloodd 11y ago
Most guys would get irritated if their LTR (girlfriend) they lived with left them in a club or an event to go dance with another guy. That's just not something you do to your man. Unless of course you want to either piss him off, or have him go and try his hand with other chicks.
4ft10azn 11y ago
no I hate when hes pissed off but its just dancing, you know?
captainbloodd 11y ago
No, I don't know.
4ft10azn 11y ago
i dont understand. dancing? I don't know how to explain dancing. its like, dancing at clubs at stuff, everyone knows what that is
captainbloodd 11y ago
Oh, you mean dancing? In my country we call it a prelude to fucking.
4ft10azn 11y ago
i dont do that!
captainbloodd 11y ago
You don't do that "now"...
4ft10azn 11y ago
I would never do that!
[deleted] 11y ago
Women, stay the fuck out of this place.
4ft10azn 11y ago
i just wante dhelp
[deleted] 11y ago
Then go to /r/redpillwomen
4ft10azn 11y ago
ok Im sorry
4ft10azn 11y ago
I tried to ask them but is says I cant post things there
needathrowawayplease 11y ago
Trollolololol.
A-Red-Six 11y ago
Yeah man. The entire post, along with all of OP's comments, are just screaming troll.
Even if it's legit, this shit doesn't belong here. She's not going to get the advice she's looking for in this sub. /r/relationship_advice or /r/AskMen would be better suited to stroke her ego and tell her what she wants to hear.
4ft10azn 11y ago
whats that?
caxica 11y ago
You moved in with him after a month of knowing him? Wow. That was a really dumb thing to do. Give him space and be nice to him
4ft10azn 11y ago
I guess it was dumb but ok
caxica 11y ago
You guess? Loooool
Youre irreparably stupid
lurkeryouredumb 11y ago
Poor grammar: check. Terrible spelling: check. Obviously can't formulate a thought that isn't about her: check.
/u/4ft10azn Irreparably Stupid Bitch Status: Extremely Confirmed
4ft10azn 11y ago
no im not stupid!
lurkeryouredumb 11y ago
Lurker, here. Made an account just to confirm that yes, you are a stupid bitch. :)
4ft10azn 11y ago
stop it im not I dont care anyway
[deleted] 11y ago
If you aren't, you sure did something stupid. A 20-year-old knows a 34-year-old EVENT PROMOTER for 3.5 months and moves in? That's pretty dumb.
caxica 11y ago
1.5 months
[deleted] 11y ago
Thank you, even dumber.
4ft10azn 11y ago
everyone laways says im dumb i'm not your just being a jerk to me!
[deleted] 11y ago
Note: I did not say you are dumb. I don't know you, that would be inaccurate. I said you did something dumb. Very big difference.
4ft10azn 11y ago
why is that dumb?
[deleted] 11y ago
[deleted]
4ft10azn 11y ago
ok
theroyalalastor 11y ago
You're posting in the wrong subreddit, this one is full of pathetic misogynist neckbeards who have absolutely no experience being in a relationship or even having an extended conversation with any woman who isn't a vapid psycho. Seriously, run away from here. If you want to be able to stand your boyfriend for another week, never mention /r/theredpill or anything related to it near him, and pray to god that if he does find it he's smart enough to know it's crap.
You won't get insights on here, just broken men trying to break everyone else so they can actually feel as confident as they pretend to be. /r/relationship_advice is probably where you want to go.
[deleted] 11y ago
Trollfail.
RPthrowaway123 11y ago
Fail
4ft10azn 11y ago
wow! lol thanks i'll check it out :)