for a little background:
I am a surgeon and work in a cardiac surgery department. A lot of people work here:
-
11 surgeons (10 male - 1 female) (7 staff - 3 residents) me and her are residents.
- 30 nurses (3 male - 27 female)
The female surgeon is the one who came last to the staff. She has had a hard time adapting to the place (she is learning). The rest of the surgeons don't like how she does most of her work. She got yelled at two times for doing things the wrong way. A couple of months ago she did a minor procedure at 3 AM without informing the senior surgeon incharge for the night, everything went ok but she got yelled at for not informing the boss beforehand. Last week she did something similar and got yelled at again and went home crying (something that her male coworkers don't have the luxery of doing) Since then she has been scared to do anything that involves putting her hands on the patient, things like taking out the dreins when they are no longer needed (something she has been doing for the better part of the last year and anyone has never yelled at her for... because is ok to do that)
So it seems that there is no middle ground with her, she either has to do everything without informing superiors or she doesn't do anything at all. So what's happenig now is that whenever she works a 24-hour shift, she doesn't do almost anything (out of fear of being yelled at, she says) and the person that does the 24-hour after her has to do her work from the previous day and his own work for the current day. (like me that came today after her and had to remove about 7 dreinage tubes that were ment to be removed yesterday)
So when i asked the nurses why wasn't all this work done yesterday all the nurses (including both genders) said this:
"Because the poor girl is to afraid to do anything because you all are a bunch of misogynistic bastards that can't work with a lady... poor thing"
to what i replied:
"poor thing! she skips protocol by not informing the superiors about the invasive procedures she feels like doing at 3 AM! If i did that i would get yelled at too! i just know better... No one has said to her not to remove the tubes when needed! she has been doing it everyday for the last year without any problems."
They answered:
"You too!!! you are the only one she trusts and the only one she says has tried to help her feel like home (what they don't know is that this girl told me she wants to have a FFM threesome with me and my wife). She is a girl and you should take care of her..."
TL;DR: girl messed up at work, got yelled at for it, decided to do nothing from then on. The rest of the female workers think all man here are misogynistic bastards ganging up on the poor girl.
thanks for reading
Theophagist 12y ago
Sabotage her job. Get that fucking cunt out of your life before she does something else rash just for attention.
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
Rienfleche101011 12y ago
Here's what I don't understand.
If these people disagree with what we're saying (all 6000 of us) then why do they feel the need to waltz in here, bitch and moan, and make day old accounts?
I mean, I hate to use the "Get a Life" card, since us posting takes up a certain portion of our time.
But, we don't wander into SRS and waste our own time trying to trick them into thinking we're "one of them".
Even if OP is for real, we're still lambasted daily with this.
It's like they're keeping themselves busy by going, "Hey everybody, look how wrong these guys are! Throw me some upvotes!"
[deleted] 12y ago
wow that link.
apparently calling out the misbehavior of (certain) women and negative byproducts of feminism = being a cunt.
because on reddit, women are placed on such high pedestals that not worshiping them and believing they can do no wrong makes you a misogynist.
the only thing that makes me feel better about how wrong and obnoxious those guys are is that they most likely almost never get laid, so thankfully their retarded behavior is not rewarded with sex because women are disgusted by betas.
soapjackal 12y ago
That thread is like one giant strawman
/u/cooledcannon has been fairly level headed in his defense of TRP
/u/bluepillschool is inadvertently hilarious. I actually dig TBP because of the amount of comedy gold they generate trying to over-satirize TRP.
thataccountabout 12y ago
It's truly amazing how lame some people on this site are. /r/Thebluepill, seriously? TRP has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. For once in my life that gaping hole that I tried to bury with material goods, drugs, excessive computer usage, and pornography is vanishing as I slowly become more comfortable with me and less concerned about what everyone else thinks of me.
Let the haters hate. I fucking love you bastards for showing me the light.
snake- 12y ago
you have to understand the majority of people who frequent the blue pill subreddit are bored with their lives and have nothing better to do. i don't really understand why they put so much effort into it. i think they would benefit more if they put all that energy into a cause of some sort. a real one
edit: put a more realistic reason instead of "are fat unattractive lesbian feminists and pussy beta manginas"
pirateundies 12y ago
TIL people call /r/mensrights douchebags. I mean I get why TRP makes people uncomfortable but apparently it's wrong to care about issues affecting men.
DEVi4TION 12y ago
And a hate group.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
What the fuck does that link have to do with me? This thread isn't even mentioned there. And why the fuck do you care if poeple don't like the sub? The more people hate it the better off you are in the real world.
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
acomplishedRP 12y ago
oh, i taught you calling me a troll was somehow related to the link. sorry
[deleted] 12y ago
don't worry, i misinterpreted your post as the same, just from the comments and clicking the link. It's unrelated, but hey, it got you attention from the community for sure.
Looking forward to hearing how things develop with you, good luck. Trolls are amuck, so just focus on what you find valuable and apply it to your circumstance.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
yes i talked to her about it an expalined how things worked. She just said that she has been crying the whole week and that she will get used to the place with time.
EDIT: i have been here before on my main account, i just wanted to make an account only for this sub, that had a reference to TRP in the name. I.E: redpillschool and many others. you will definetely see me again. I am not looking for karma here, that's why i don't need to use my account.
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
acomplishedRP 12y ago
my exact words were: " why the fuck did i have to remove the tubes from six patients this morning? why didn't you do it yesterday?"
"Blah, Blah, Blah; crying!"
"That's not go things work, you need to do your stuff"
the only reason i removed the tubes myself was because i am not making the patients pay for her.
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
acomplishedRP 12y ago
that is absolultly what i have been doing with her. we are more than happy to help her. she was told to seek supervision for doing difficult things. but the tubes, that's symple, that was the first thing we taught her, she has been doing it alone for the last year without any problems or complaints. it?s like saying: ok so i can't walk a mile without supervision? then i won't take a single step. She is quite a dramatic bitch
MandaMoo 12y ago
I've got to agree. A "surgeon" that spells drainage "drienage" is probably a plumber IRL.
Plus, if a surgeon has time for this much BS with the nurses when on clock then he is a crappy surgeon and has more to worry about than what pill he took with his muesli this morning.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
What the fuck are you talking about? You don't know me... I already said i speak spanish and i bet i have greater command over your language than you have over mine. Besides writing is harder than speaking in a second language. In fact i speak your language so good that instead of thinking about me as someone from other country, you taught i was a dump or lazy american.
Do you think you can spend 30-something hours in a hospital without talking or getting to know the people that work with you for years? So should i go to work and not speak to anyone about anything? Asshole!
JonnyBeanBag 12y ago
I TAUT I taw a putty-tat!
soapjackal 12y ago
What a cunty response.
"English is my second language, chill out"
This response would help make you look like a reasonable redditor instead of a trolling ass.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Oh it was not the language thing that got me to respond like that, i am used to saying english is not my first language while on reddit and i had siad before on the thread. It was the second part... What do talking to nurse have to do with doing your job, as a matter of fact, i can't do my job without talking to them.
soapjackal 12y ago
Before your cunty comment I had no idea English was not your primary language. I misspell quite a few things since I reddit with my phone. Just be relaxed in your response and if someone is being shitty that's on them, not you.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
People commented on the errors before, they were nice, i gave a nice answer,
soapjackal 12y ago
That you did.
But you were still an asshole in that comment .
Not mutually exclusive.
Enjoy fixing your female surgeon problem, sounds like a raw deal.
Clauderoughly 12y ago
Don't engage the hamsters.
They will never see your point of view because they are not operating on any sort of logic. They are working from their emotional point of view, where they put themselves in her shoes.
Being yelled at = Bad!
yes even though she is breaking protocols, that are put there to cover her ass in case things go wrong, you shouldn't yell at her, you big meanie head.
She'll wash out eventually. She'll do what most women do. She'll get pregnant, and quit the field.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
She wasn't really yelled at, i just can't remember a better word in english to say she "got put in her place" the boss was hard on her but without really yelling at her, he was quite polite.
Clauderoughly 12y ago
Ahh I see what you are driving at.
Yeah, he didn't so much yell at her, and told her off for not following protocols.
Perhaps explain to her that she needs to take her ego out of this. She is getting told off for her own good.
It will make her a better doctor in the long term.
As for the nurses, don't worry about them. I worked with Nurses for 3 years and I know what a bunch of chattering hens they are.
90% of nurses under the age of 30 are just there, trying to cock trap a rich doctor into marrying them.
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
acomplishedRP 12y ago
In english i said
socal83 12y ago
sorry
undertheworm 12y ago
I know this sounds like typical 'old man', but it really seems to me that a lot of young 'uns these days (including plenty of guys) can not deal with any criticism, unless delivered in the most roundabout, and 'here all the positive things you did too' - ways. "Self-esteem"-centric-style schooling coming home to roost.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
the sad thing is that we constantly complement her on the good things she does. But it's not enough apparently.
30303030303030 12y ago
What is this? Hospital or help center for female egos?
Frankly, if you will be the only one not praising her she will be very attracted to you... ;)
acomplishedRP 12y ago
She is already attracted to me, more than i would like too because she just means trouble to me. I am not even interested on the threesome after i got to know her better.
favours_of_the_moon 12y ago
If you are "the one she trusts" then maybe she would be willing (and able) to hear it from you.
Also, START DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING. KEEP A JOURNAL. Because she's already twisting everything around.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
she says she trust me and i am definetely the one she talks to and hangsout with the most. but that could be a lie. i've caught her trying to play me too. like the other day, she was late to deliver a journal about everything she had done the last year to the resident's tutor. She ask me like out of nowwhere: hey, do you know if the tutor has a database of every surgery i have been in? i said: no, it is all scatter around inside the nursery and anesthesiologist journals... then she said that she was asking to find out if there was a place were she could find all the information organized. but i know she was asking to make sure the tutor hasn't got a quick way to find out that she made up something on her journal.
sometimes when i tell her something i did to a patient yesterday for example. She tells the story the next day to other people like if she was the one that did the things i did. i really thing she is obsessed with me! first she told me about wanting to do the FFM threesome with my wife (that i haven't done because my wife hates her, and my wife like big boobed blondes) and now she activly tries to be associeted with me by pretending i have her under my wing.
favours_of_the_moon 12y ago
This girl is DEFINITELY a disaster.
First of all, if your wife doesn't like her, that's a huge sign. Women know when other women are playing bullshit games and running bullshit scams.
You need to start DOCUMENTING all of this shit. This bitch is already creating her fake-ass story line where she failed, because you are all meanies who are challenged by the greatness of her vagina.
Do NOT be her victim. Names, DATES, places. Write down EVERYTHING. Cover. Your. Asses.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
that's a good idea about the journal, i will do that. and yes my girl hates her bones since she saw her for the first time.
favours_of_the_moon 12y ago
Maybe consider a complaint about HER. First one to the Authority Figure.
For example, she already slandered everyone there by spreading a rumor to the nurses that you're persecuting her based on her gender.
YOU NEED TO REPORT THAT SHIT. That's workplace hostility. And it's done to cover up her own incompetence.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Yes i reported it today.
favours_of_the_moon 12y ago
If they tell her it was YOU who reported her, that's a breach of confidentiality.
Know your rights. ;)
Anyway, you've done the right thing.
favours_of_the_moon 12y ago
You might also consider asking your wife her impressions.
Might surprise you what you hear.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
She thinks she is dump and lazy and doesn't deserve to be where she is.
pirateundies 12y ago
It sucks to get called misogynistic when you haven't done anything wrong, so just ignore those women.
That said - it sucks being new. And getting yelled at is not a good start at a new place for anyone. Has it occurred to you to throw in some explicit validation along with the criticisms?
"Hey, you're kicking ass with those 3 am surgeries. At the same time, you GOTTA remember to let the senior surgeon know or you'll get into deep shit."
You being right isnt the only thing that matters in interpersonal communication and I know if I was new I would really like to hear what I was doing right along with what I was doing wrong.
r_rships_account 12y ago
This is fair.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Yes i allways try to make good remarks when she does something good. At first i noticed she was kind of unstable so i've allways tried to be nice so she doesn't have a break down, leaving us one resident short, that would suck for the rest who would have to pick up the extra work. My main goal is avoiding her resignation
r_rships_account 12y ago
Is there some shortage of applicants for cardiac surgery residencies?
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Not really, 22 job offers every year for the whole country (thats more than we need) but have to take an exam to get in, once they are in, the spot belongs to them for the next 5 years. If someone quits, the spot can't be refilled till the year that person's contract ends. We had a guy resign 4 years ago and his place is still empty till next year, for that reason theres fewer people to do the job, if someone else resigns that would leave the rest of us really fucked.
30303030303030 12y ago
oh I can hear feminist heads exploding everywhere... Equality!
Stay away, she's not your daughter, she's not your problem. Make sure you have some papers that she didn't follow protocols cause from "you misogynist" talk to some ridiculous accusations there isn't much space and as you can see, all the nurses will say you fucking surgeon male pigs hate that poor lady. If I was you I'd walk with some recording device in my pocket.
And don't waste time on nurses/females. You can't teach hamster anything, you know that if you are subscribed here. You can be sure though they will say everything in defense of that lady. Clearly "She is a girl and you should take care of her..."
I love how women have it easier everywhere because they are women and for some reason they whine as if they had it harder... You literally have to dance around them and their fucking feelings to not get accused of some bullshit. She goes to HR with whatever having zero evidence and at very least you can kiss that promotion cause you will not be getting it.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
fuck dude... a journal, recording devices... this sounds like a lot of fucking work! that wouldn't be neccesary if she was sane.
30303030303030 12y ago
better safe than sorry
I don't know where you live but in most of "western world" countries when a woman goes to HR with any whine having zero proof you either have something to show for yourself or you gonna get damaged. You are a married surgeon, I'd do something to secure my stance.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
i know what you mean. But fuck! taking time to writte stuff, carring a device just in case at all times. i am lazy with that sort of thing. but yuou are rigth, i should at least record something. Oh! maybe screecaps from conversations would be easier and quicker!
30303030303030 12y ago
Anything, sms, mails will do, writing down stuff is indeed excessive and not necessary. You don't need hard evidence just something to show to HR if she goes full retard with few nurses backing up her claims.
As for now, keep her rather friendly. Unless you are her supervisor don't yell at her if she fucks up and focus on your work. That's what you are there for. She's a special flower and unfortunately will be treated as such by HR. Whole situation will most likely blow over but why risk? That's why I dislike most women at workplace. They bleed into performance. Anyway, we all remember "donglegate".
As for the title of this topic. Hamsters will hamster, you can't talk logic into hamster mind. Leave nurses to their job and do yours.
edit: btw, you gonna fuck her with your wife or not? :D
acomplishedRP 12y ago
My wife hates her. Only tolerates her because i say she is my "friend". Besides, my wife likes big boobs. :)
explodingham 12y ago
Misguided opinions from women? So what else is new?
cooledcannon 12y ago
Just wondering, whats the difference between a resident and a staff?
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Residents are in a learning period. Staff already finished residency.
r_rships_account 12y ago
She's on strike but still getting paid. "Give me a free pass to do whatever I want or I won't do anything and you'll still have to pay me."
I doubt she'll finish her residency.
jsh1138 12y ago
you're in a position of authority and you're expecting people on the tier below you to sympathize with your work issues. this is a mistake
what you need to be focused on from a business point of view isn't just that your colleague isn't doing her work, but also that she is actively recruiting your staff to take her side in this matter
you are going to end up with one hell of a problem over this if you or whoever is in charge there doesn't get a handle on this
acomplishedRP 12y ago
I just asked why wasn't this done yesterday, and got confronted with the responds i mentioned earlier. After i got the info i needed i told a superior right away.
thereisnosuchthing 12y ago
Sounds like she's trying to make a point like a petulant little child after she violated established professional protocol in what is a life-and-death field(meaning the rules are there for a good fucking reason, dumb girl) and getting told off for it - now she'll pretend she's been harrassed or frightened into doing nothing by the scary males she works with.
This isn't your world, it's real life-professional life, DO NOT DO ANYTHING personally with her, do NOTHING except make this situation known clearly to your bosses in nice language, file a report, DO NOT CONFRONT HER, she could possibly get all of you fired by threatening to lie about all of you or playing the 'you're evil mean misogynists' card.
acomplishedRP 12y ago
it would be better if she could just be replaced for someone else with less mental issues. but in my country if she quits, her place would just be left open for about two years and those of us residents left would have to cover the empty spot without any economical remuneration whatsoever. her spot (and mine) is owned, we own our jobs and they can't be offered to someone else even if she resigns.
thereisnosuchthing 12y ago
Wow that is horrible.
I am saying she is not so scared - she is playing a mean little girl game. She is trying to GET BACK AT (subtly) the doctors (bosses) who yelled at her - and all of you for 'not sticking up for her' (even though she's obviously WRONG ..women don't get that, they don't care about reality, reality to them is their feelings ABOUT reality as applied TO THEM only..not reality).
Tell your bosses what she's doing. Ask their advice about it. Just be serious - don't whine to them about her - just ask their advice. That way anything you do can be sanctioned by them first and maybe one of them will talk to her. What country is this that they'd put another surgical resident's work on all of you?
acomplishedRP 12y ago
spain
[deleted] 12y ago
[deleted]
acomplishedRP 12y ago
Yes i've taught of that. After the offer i invited her home to watch a soccer game with other friends and my wife, the plan was to see my wife's reaction to her before i introduced the idea of including her in bed. They had met before but for about 5 minutes. i knew she wasn't my wife's type but i wanted to give it a chance.
After i knew she didn't like her, i never talk to the girl about it again, because i am not interested in fucking her on my own. The only reason i wanted to fuck her was because she was into a threesome, now that that is out of the question i am not interested in her and ignore her most of the time.
I don't want to fuck her and then have to see her everyday at the hospital, fuck that! Nooooo!
[deleted] 12y ago
if she's not doing her job why hasn't she been fired?
report her for not doing her work. you're in medicine she's literally putting lives in danger
acomplishedRP 12y ago
because at the beginning the other residents have tried to resolve things without the need of higher intervention. It is not that easy to fire a resident, we are supposed to be learning and a low amount of fuckups are tolerated. she really didn't do anything bad to the patient, she just didn't informed, she got a long talk about not doing that because it could bring trouble, but trouble hasn't happened... yet.
this thing about not doing stuff started this week, it's new. the problem used to be she wanting to do things she wasn't supposed to do, now the problem is doing the bare minimun. from black to white, no grey areas. her taught process is not normal. she should be greatful she has someone supervising her and try to learn from her mistakes. what she is doing is: ok, i can't do this alone cause i am a women surrounded by misogynists... then i won't do shit! how's that!