Women are already telling you everything you need to hear. You just aren’t listening.
—
The road to Camelot.
For decades I would hear men complain about how they can’t figure out women. For most of those years, I agreed with them. The problem is that women are pretty clear on how to figure them out. Men just refuse to accept it. It took over 45 years on this planet to realize Legal Cohabiting Female (LCF) was an absolute firehose of truth for the past two decades. I did not drink until I had to wash down the pill. Now, I’m not saying that women give us hints about them. Yes, they do that all the time. I’m saying they outright say the words.
I have spoken at length about my many years with LCF. In this post I will share some of the absolute bullshit truth that I rejected and how it got me to where I am today. However a little background first would be helpful.
From my perspective, our marriage was a lark; I didn’t think either of us thought it would last. (I’m starting to think her purposes were more nefarious, but that’s not important now). She got pregnant quickly and then Dr Jekyll made her appearance—cue every shitty behavior you can read about on MRP. I supplicated and she took control of the roost, and predictably sex mostly disappeared. This is textbook stuff and lasted for about five years. The sex itself wasn’t very good from the beginning, but she was incredibly hot and I was happy enough just to pump a load in her and leave it at that. Most women would let me do whatever the hell I wanted to them, but she wouldn’t to the point of freaking out if I tried anything outside of the norm. I made a grave mistake of confusing this for her being more virtuous than all those other women, instead of realizing that she just was not super into me.
Now on to a small sampling of the the truth she fed me.
—
The first truth: “I want better sex.”
After not having even touched her in months she said those exact words to me. Um, ok. So I started initiating frequently. She would be agreeable. I fell into a routine of eating her out, sticking my dick in her for a half hour and then finishing her off by hand. Any attempt to do anything else and she would resist vigorously. She wasn’t saying she wanted more sex. She said she wanted better sex. The big problem with this is she was not attracted to me enough to agree to better sex. Nevertheless, sex was still pretty frequent for a couple months until we needed to move to another state.
Then things got weird. One night she did something she never did before—she spontaneously gave me an eager blowjob and swallowed, despite jizz being an apparent form of kryptonite to her. Wot? And then she insisted I hunt her down and forcibly mount her from behind. A couple nights later she wanted to stand in front of each other while her masturbated. The list goes on but this renaissance had three big problems: 1) only her ideas were acceptable, never mine, 2) we never did the same thing twice, and 3) it abruptly ended after a couple months…. about the same time she invited a “mutual” friend we met from an IRC channel to visit.
You see, I knew she was talking to people online, but I thought it was just play. No, it was serious business and these relationships were far more advanced than I realized. Years later I finally realized that was happening. She was not getting better sex from me; she was practicing her ideas of better sex on me before getting it from other guys.
Protip: if a woman suddenly changes her sexual behavior, something is up. Unless you have made significant progress on your attractiveness, she’s got plans and they don’t include you in the end.
—
The second truth: “I don’t want to get a divorce.”
So, this visit has predictable results—she fucked the guy. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it settled like this. First, he left to go back home after spending a couple nights with him in hotel room. (I swear to every deity ever worshiped that if she ever again brings a man into my home for as much as a handy her world will fucking end on the spot, something she mostly realized back then too.). Second, that we should both do some exploring to see what it is we want and need from life. Third, we weren’t going to get a divorce because when we find ourselves or some stupid shit like that, our marriage can become stronger. So there you go; she unilaterally opened up the marriage.
So my critical mistake here is this: being a rational male I figured she would find who she wanted and leave me to be with them. Yeah, no. She was telling the truth. She did not want to divorce me. Being married was an association to my wallet, not my cock. She wanted access to those indefinitely and it’s super convenient that she didn’t have to fuck me to get them.
A few months later, I went on a three week business trip to Europe. She sends the kids to grandma and invites the stunt cock out to plunge her tuna patch. Despite opening up the marriage, she lied about the whole thing. Of course, so did I; this is when I inaugurated my rampage which culminated in a few Dear Penthouse Forum moments. From this trip on I was regularly getting sex from other women. She was working hard to get this one guy to move to the Bay Area, which she did succeed in doing eventually. She resumed fucking him in secret. This was the most closeted Open Marriage in history.
Eventually, she confesses. In the defense of the hamster, I was not very happy about the whole thing when it started and I am a scary, aggressive person, so I could see how she would rather keep it secret. She says the guilt got the better of her. Which takes us to a watershed moment in my life…
—
The third truth: The King Arthur Speech
So this long, painful confession occurred on neutral ground, somewhat reinforcing that she might have some real fear of my reaction. Yes, I got very upset, but didn’t lose my shit. She detailed it all, including the visit I mentioned above. Eventually, I get to the question every man gets to in this situation: but why?!?! Here is her answer (this isn’t an exact telling, as I don’t remember it word for word, but it covers the points).
"You are like King Arthur. You are strong and have a lot of power. You have a castle. People do what you tell them. You are brave. He is like Lancelot. He’s exciting, adventurous and likes to try lots of new things. I like the way he makes me feel. But he can be stubborn and gets angry when things aren’t his way.. (Note the last bit was in reference to how he treated her.)"
Yeah, the guy with the castle is the Beta Bucks. The impertinent guy that does whatever he wants and really knows how to swing his proverbial sword is the Alpha Fucks. That’s ok, right? Because she’ll just leave me without drama and everything will be ok, right? No but being a dumbass I actually encouraged her to spend more time with him, hoping it would seal the deal. I was careful to be supportive and not think she and I had a problem. All I was doing was normalizing this behavior for her—dick elsewhere, wallet at home. I brought a couple of my fuck friends and two of my more durable mistresses out of the closet, though she doesn’t know but a small fraction of what I actually did. This only gave her the impression I would never leave her no matter how many cocks she juggled while taking whatever she could from me. Everything was perfect in her world.
And this is where I fucked everything up for both her and myself.
It bears to note that as she got in deeper with this guy and then the branch swing to the next guy that was even more important to her, I was getting less and less vaginal moments from her. They had to deal with her tantrums and spit fights. (I will admit the first guy held frame a lot better with her shit than I did.). Again, I was taking the easy path. If she fucks other guys, I don’t have to deal with her Typical Female Behavior. Seemed like a deal at the time, but ultimately was weak and pathetic.
—
Her lie to herself
Earlier I noted I mentioned the “ our marriage can become stronger” bullshit. I think this is what she really expected after her play years were over (this transition deserves a whole post on its own, but that’s for another day). It explains why to this day she still tries to talk up our marriage to other people, even as I disengage more and more from her. The problem is there is no marriage because there is no intimacy. I tried. I did. Every attempt led back to same conclusion—she simply doesn’t want me. When she thinks of great sex, she remembers those nights away from me, not those nights with me. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
I see on her what I see on a lot of women her age now. She is miserable. When I was younger women this age didn’t all look like this. I to am war whery.
Yay feminism!
—
What did I learn?
Everything, but here are some cookies.
1) There was only a small moment in our history that she saw me as attractive. I fucked it up by being a dopey romantic instead of a sexual creature.
2) Women will not leave you unless they are forced by you or by her new cock. They will happily juggle as many men as they will allow.
3) LCF is not a bitch. She is not a whore. She is not stupid. She’s just female.
4) Trying to engineer a solution for a woman using a man’s perspective is retarded. She was never going to leave on her own and the end result for her is misery.
5) Hoping that things will take care of themselves doesn’t fix anything. She was never going to leave.
Hoping is nothing. Doing is everything.
sadomasochrist 8y ago
I did not at all read this the way you did.
She did not cast you in a BB light.
What she ultimately said is what all women want. They want to destroy their relationship. That's how it works. The honeymoon period is over. When pair bonding chemicals are doing their job, she's too high to even give thought to this kind of bullshit.
You wrestled her back from the depths of hell, she told you that you are genuinely making her tingle, but she doesn't have control.
She wants to regain control again and destroy it all over.
You are beating yourself up too much here. You're positing that the only thing you didn't do is care less than not caring.
Basically she is looking for someone to beat the shit out of her and leave her.
Your post is thinly veiled that you already know she has BPD. Chill out man, you did okay for yourself, get rid of the guilt and enjoy the rest of your life.
max_peenor 8y ago
I fucked up a marriage. Here is the funny part. It doesn't matter. Marriage itself is over in modern western civilization. So while I see my errors, worrying about it is about as useful as fretting over the arraignment of deck chairs on the titanic.
It just doesn't matter.
BPD is often confused with a woman that has learned that tantrums are an effective way to get what they want. Once I hit my limit and was willing to burn down the world with her, the behavior immediately pivoted. BPD doesn't resolve like that.
albino_red_head 8y ago
I have to wonder about the guy that got invited over and she stayed with him in a hotel room. How the fuck did that ever come about? Were you not around when those decisions happened?
max_peenor 8y ago
He booked a room in the same hotel. As I was unpacking, she informed me he had arrived and she wanted to go see him.
albino_red_head 8y ago
that makes it sound like she went to see him for 10 minutes and then fucked, but...
max_peenor 8y ago
Shit. Sorry. I was talking about the other incident. No, this visit was planned and he was staying at our place. My impression was he was a mutual friend and there was nothing up.
There was something up.
I told them to get the fuck out after the night of the first inauguration of her whore-itude.
SasquatchMcKraken 8y ago
There are really only two things that I think are grounds for instantly killing the marriage and walking away: her harming the kids, and her cheating. The moment I found out about it I would've been out the fucking door with a quickness. That isn't something you can tolerate and maintain any self-respect. Also, Open Relationships are a con trick. She can always get more dick than you can pussy, and she's 1,000x more likely to fall in love with one of her side pieces than you are. There's a reason history doesn't record a single instance of a woman maintaining a harem of men: she's bound to fall for one, and it typically doesn't take long. You've been played, my friend. At least you're in the right place.
rolledrick 8y ago
Why is your self respect contingent on the woman you fuck only fucking you? I'm not trying to flame, I'm genuinely curious what is it about monogamy that makes it so important for you? I realise this is the standard thing everyone does and expects, but I don't feel that need to make the agreement "and you won't fuck anyone else right? Only me from now on? Promise?" it just seems so childish.
SasquatchMcKraken 8y ago
Because in a monogamous relationship a woman is getting security, companionship, and (most of the time) resources. The man is getting companionship and exclusive access to her vagina. If some other dude is getting my wife or girlfriend's pussy for nothing, while I'm getting it on top of my duties as husband/bf, I'm getting fucked over. If she's a plate then no big deal. But as far as exclusive relationships go you're basically asking "why does the woman have to hold up her end of the bargain?" There's also the more primal question of whether or not any kids you might have together are actually yours. And women know this too. That's why 99.9% of the time they feel the need to hide their affairs. It's never "just sex" when a woman's giving it up to another man, because sex is the vast majority of what she's bringing to the table in the first place. Otherwise you'd just be friends. Have you ever dated a chick you found ugly because she had a winning personality? Neither has any other man.
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max_peenor 8y ago
This is very true. This is ultimately why eventually it came down on me like a mountain. No amount of pussy that wants you will make up for the one you are attached to that doesn't. The only way out of that burning forest it to unattach yourself. And thanks to the pill, I simply don't give a shit any more.
By myself! Don't think I haven felt like a titanic idiot at times.
SasquatchMcKraken 8y ago
It sucks to learn the hard way but I think most of us have in one way or another. I certainly did, luckily with gf's and not a wife. And at least you're now ahead of about 85% of men in America. I plan on getting married one day on account of wanting to have and raise kids. I don't want to be anonymous in any future blood line. But I've already accepted that a degree of detachment to whatever woman I marry is essential and permanent, precisely bc I've seen too many stories like yours. I like your forest analogy, but I'd tweak it and say you always have to be prepared to burn that motherfucker down and walk out. Too many guys get stuck deep in the woods with no weapon, gasoline, or matches and end up wasting away (or get eaten alive).
MickeyDeMaria 8y ago
Shit man, your marriage reads like Dangerous Liaisons.
max_peenor 8y ago
I remember watching that movie with her. It came out shortly before we met. She thought it was disgusting. She was very verbal about it.
Well, well, well, m'lady. What thinkest thou now?
le_wolfe 8y ago
Men want more (pussy). Women want better (dick). We can never get satisfied. That's how we saved our asses for thousands of years. For anyone who scorns at this, tries to conceal it or suppresses it, has indeed lost their ancestral marbles.
aanarchist 8y ago
one thing that's really important to learn is that if she considers you good enough anything and everything you do is the right thing, vs if she considers you not good enough anything and everything you do is the wrong thing. you could be dumb as a brick, have shit technique, no social skills, tiny cock, jobless, homeless, unshowered, rank breath, if she's convinced herself that you're an alpha everything you do and everything about you is hot, if she's convinced herself that you're a beta nothing you can possibly do will convince her otherwise, until she sees you with another woman more attractive than her. any faults you have are endearing quirks and eccentricities when you are her alpha, and when you are her beta they are proof that you are not a real man. while experience does help, the only thing that matters if how spun her hamster is and how it impacts her perception of you. there's no such thing as a man being bad at sex, just women who aren't attracted to him. if you get in her head the right way you don't even need to say anything or do anything, it'll be the best sex she's ever had just dry humping you.
[deleted] 8y ago
Game mom and sister make sure she knows about it too. My ex fiance was "talking" to another dude while I was "talking" with her sister and sometimes flirting with Mama. Talking with her sister involved stuffing more then her stockings during the holiday season. She cut the other dude off real fast. I never showed up to our wedding tho. Life's been better since. Always hold leverage over your bitches
Rian_Stone 8y ago
get out of her frame. women play women games
[deleted] 8y ago
I prefer leverage to amused mastery. I'm more direct in my dickery. I'm more confrontational and less amused as a person works better for me
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Roaring40sUK 8y ago
I fucked it up by being a dopey romantic instead of a sexual creature.
This. Women will lure you into being the dopey romantic, with there own romantic words, and when you do, thats the beginning of the end for them..
nofilmynofucky 8y ago
TL;DR
perhaps I have read this wrong but tbh it just seem as if you're still letting her walk all over you, so despite your claims about having learnt from the experience you haven't done shit to change the situation.
It's great that you can finally see this for what it is but without practical application, knowledge is useless. You're willfully avoiding practical application, which is far worse than ignorance. Your attempts to justify your complacency in your own slavery is nothing more than male hamstering.
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max_peenor 8y ago
http://archive.is/jqVJZ
Goddamn it. Try this again. We don't allow hot linking to asktrp? Ok. Easy fix.
nofilmynofucky 8y ago
Yeah still not seeing the part where you stop being her BB. Sounds like yall are still married and you're getting cucked regardless of how you dress it up
Rian_Stone 8y ago
He is, I don't get what you expected.
A few articles, hit the gym, and he can kick her out of his life, and his kids will be OK and 100% his custody?
He's got his constraints, he's running his mission, and accepting concequences for his actions. he's also his only judge.
Thats all we do here, truly.
max_peenor 8y ago
Woo! An edgelord. I'm honored.
I fund my children. Not sure how you want to dress that up.
LavaPipe 8y ago
He isn't an edgelord, he's correct. You are a beta bucks and you are funding her and her sexcapades too. You can fund your children without being cuckolded
max_peenor 8y ago
I sure as fuck got the kids tested for paternity, that's for sure. Nevertheless, in this modern era those of us that actually have sex, unlike the Supreme Gentleman above, can share this important tidbit of information: our plates are fucking other men too. It's just the way it is now. You need to stop thinking about how you fit into her world and concern yourself what you get out of her instead. All sex is transactional? Fuck that, these days everything is transactional.
[deleted] 8y ago
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Rian_Stone 8y ago
She's a roommate/babysitter.
max_peenor 8y ago
No, she isn't. My wife left me decades ago to fuck other men.
Correct. I don't touch her.
As for legal divorce, the process would be significantly disadvantageous to me. I structured it so it is the same for her. The only reasons I should go through it is if a) I'm expected to be faithful or b) I want get married again. Neither will ever happen. Never, never, never.
Rian_Stone 8y ago
Interesting. What kind of leverage do you get to make it there?
Have you read red-curious post on finding divorce lawyers?
max_peenor 8y ago
Context is important. During the dot.com bubble I was at one of the poster boys for "irrational exuberance." Given when I joined and my position, there was no mistaking I was going to see some money. However, back then we were largely kept from cashing in our equity until at least a year after the IPO. (Bless google's little heart for ending that tradition.). So you have a situation where people think you are going to have money but you don't actually have money.
This was a great year for me, because I got to see how people would act without being able to do anything about it. And everyone turned into total shitstains--even my own blood. I told the CEO about this over some drinks and apparently he had plans too--he was going to divorce his wife so he could hitch up with this blond bombshell 15 years his junior. So he gave me a number.
Now, this will not work for everyone, because I'm not a very materialistic person. It's just me. I absolutely don't judge those that are. Do your thing. As such, I couldn't see how the hell I was going to spend all the cash on hand--ever. So the law firm knew exactly what to do.
They created a series of irrevocable trusts that purchased a number of assets with a cash reserve to deal with contingencies. Each family member was granted a number of "shares" to the trusts that gave access to the assets, but could not move them out of the trust under any circumstances. In other words, they can enjoy the benefits of the trust but they can never bleed the trust. LCF and I have equal shares, whereas the kids have second tranche shares. The law firm maintains a third tier tranche as retainer going forward. I am the trustee now, but that will be transferred to the voting shares after I die; despite that, none of them can change the terms of the trust.
So basically, if LCF wants to be a cattle rancher in Oregon, she can absolutely do that with her shares. If we divorce, she gets the equal number of shares as me. But there isn't a swinging dick or dry pussy in the universe that can utilize my money for a coke and/or cock habit.
The best part? They think I lost it all from that company in the crash...
[deleted] 8y ago
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max_peenor 8y ago
Well, yeah. She went to Whole Foods today and stocked the fridge. Oh, and my youngest daughter's two coaches got their checks today too. Boy, she wasn't happy one of them raised their rates. She got the same daughter a new iPad because the previous one was ancient and there is this math program that is infuriatingly slow on it. I told her to pull the trigger on that one, because she was a little nervous about dropping a G. She's on her period, so I guess I'm dropping a quarter ever couple hours to keep her from bleeding everywhere. Then there was the martini I made her a little bit ago. It was a long day. She is going to do the hen thing later while I get back to work; I have an equity placement proposal to critique; not sure how happy they would be about it if they knew I was tipsy at the time. kek. Meanwhile, she turned up the AC (money down the drain) because it's strangely humid today and combined with the shitty, smokey air (wild fires near) everyone is coughing.
Dear god, how can my wallet survive this?!?! Oh, I know, running a household takes money. Raising my children takes money. She better be fucking spending my money. I have high exceptions from the kids.
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mrninja1097 8y ago
There is no information about women we can not learn through observation. Every action points to a specific sign but instead of looking at the cause we stay fixated on the finger directing us. I really think that most problems a man has with a woman he found enjoyable at one time are a reflection of his character. Very rarely do men or women change their behavior without a stimuli prompting them to. As a man of status, it is your job to direct the stimulus offered to the people surrounding you.
Quality fucking post.
nofilmynofucky 8y ago
While op is clearly aware of TRP truths, he remains the BB in a marriage where his wife cucks him consistently.
No amount of rationalizing changes this fact. OP is funding the life style of a whore, it's as simple as that.
mrninja1097 8y ago
I'm not caught up on whether or not OP is a cuck. It doesn't matter what OP is. His experience is valuable and instead of making the same mistakes other people will adjust their course and take a greater degree of control in their lives and responsibility for their actions.
eslong 8y ago
I know you want to raise the children but the bitch needs to go. Shes having her cake and eating it too.
Send her packing bro.
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VictxrSenpai 8y ago
What the fuck was the point of this? To point out obvious shit about women, while your own "woman" continually treats you like shit? To act like you have some Red Pill knowledge, while you dont even apply it to your life and stay in some shitty, cuckhold marriage? I cant be the only one who read this and thought "wtf am i reading?".
max_peenor 8y ago
I try to be civil around here, but eventually it gets tough with the steady stream of incels and autists.
Did you read every third word? There is no marriage. That was dead long ago.
I own a woman? Last time I checked, we just get our turn.
Sidebar ----->
Spend time reading instead of thread shitting, like I've seen you do frequently.
VictxrSenpai 8y ago
Thread shitting cause the five cookies you give at the end were obvious as fuck and nothing new or suprising. But i guess if they help someone out there reading this post, then I cant hate .
max_peenor 8y ago
If you have it all figured out, then perhaps you should unsure TRP, because it isn't just this thread you've shat in.
PaperStreetVilla 8y ago
Take a week and cool off.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4ekpvg/endorsed_contributors_respect_the_tag/
LiveAFTSOV 8y ago
What is the point of your writing? What is the problem you need to "do" and take care of?
max_peenor 8y ago
More of a did, than a do. This was a long time ago.
That's the point.
LiveAFTSOV 8y ago
That's what im saying. I dont understand what you took care of. I read your words, and I took away your out look on the situation.
I didnt sense there was a problem from you. You were getting side pussy and intimacy, maybe you wanted to get rid of the leech?
I just dont understand the thing you "did"
max_peenor 8y ago
Ok, got it. Good question. I think if we just went our separate ways when she wanted to open the marriage up, things would have gone far better for her in the long run. She'd have her CC ride. She'd find some BB dipshit and play pretend-love until the end of her days. Instead, she's out of options and stuck with someone that doesn't give one fuck about her. I know I hurts her. I can see it on her all the time.
Second, I am grossly disappointed in myself that I didn't leave when I that guy showed up for our Vegas trip and she wanted to go fuck him. Clearly, this was not about us finding ourselves and then coming back together in an actual marriage. I should have held strong, left left like I wanted to leave and put an end to it for good. It would have devastated her, but fuck her, she clearly didn't give a shit about how I felt all those years either.
Those are the shoulda dids.