To successfully approach a woman, you should do the following four things.
1) You must have something on your mind more awesome than her
2) You must be unshakeably positive and exude joy
3) You must bring enough confidence for the both of you
4) You must take the dominant position in the conversation
You must have something on your mind more awesome than her
Remember the movie Men in Black where the two government agents would use a pen to erase people’s memories who had seen aliens? Women have that same power. A beautiful woman will wipe out all of our thoughts and emotions and replace them with her and only her. This is why most men sound stupid when they talk to beautiful women. They completely forgot who they are, what they like, what their boundaries are, etc…
Women, however, are not attracted to men who only have them on their mind. If she is the only thing in your head, you may get “locked in” and follow her around all night, annoy her, stare at her, get mad if she talks to another guy, etc… Even if she thinks you might be cool, she will reject you immediately if you get locked in because there is a chance that you won’t be cool and she will have an annoying stalker chasing her all night. Women have a deep, primal ability to sense when a guy is “locked in,” which causes them to go into fight or flight mode. Furthermore, if she is the only thing in your thoughts and emotions, you will become too emotionally invested in her, and she can also sense that. (I explain all this in my article on emotional investment).
I live in a gay neighborhood and gay guys hit on me a lot. I have no problem with it (I actually like the self-esteem boost), but “locked in” guys are terrifying zombies. I can tell by the look in their eyes that fucking me is the only thing they care about, and they will say and do anything to get to that goal. They say the stupidest gibberish to me, and don’t seem to catch any hints that I was disgusted and afraid of them.
The key to not being emotionally invested is having something more awesome than her on your mind – it can be other women (preferably multiple other women), hobbies you enjoy, interesting intellectual ideas, a more fun party that you can go to, the song you are listening to, etc… Sometimes I think about my perfect day (surfing stoned at the beach) and I put myself in that emotional place when I talk to her. I get relaxed, calm, blissful, and somewhat stupid (it’s amazing how you can ignore stupid bullshit when you’re happy). She needs to feel like your life is more fun than hers, and she needs to act right so she can join yours. This is easiest when you actually have a more fun life.
Another key to not being emotionally invested is by staying active in the club: motion creates emotion. You should always be doing something - buying a drink, finding your friend, texting somebody, etc... Even when you approach, she should feel like you are on the move, you have better shit to do elsewhere, and you will walk away at a moment’s notice if she is boring, mean, etc…
Women can subconsciously sense when you’re on a mission, and the moment you just stand there dumbly or show that she can throw you off your mission she loses attraction. For example, if I am at the bar buying a drink, I will strike up a conversation with the woman next to me, but I will continue buying the drink. No matter how hot or famous she is, don’t let her perturb you, change your emotional state, or alter your behavior. Until she gets emotionally invested enough in you, she has to feel like you would rather be doing something else and you are just talking to her to be nice.
Another perk of having your awesome life on your mind is that you can weather the ups and downs of the approach better. Getting rejected by another human being, or even just feeling negative vibes from them, is one of the most painful, soul-crushing things that can happen to a person, but the best way to handle that is to immediately put yourself back into your happy place so one woman rejecting you means nothing.
I had a rich friend who used to buy the VIP section at the club and fill it with hot girls. I would still game other parts of the club and I soon realized that I did better with women when he had the VIP section – not because the women actually cared about VIP, but because subconsciously I knew I had a more “fun” option I could go back to.
You must be unshakeably positive and exude joy
When you approach, every ounce of your being must exude joy and positivity, as if the deepest parts of your soul are completely happy. Like I said earlier, I put myself in the emotional mindset of experiencing my perfect day.
Of course, most of you are not happy: your life sucks and you are riddled with anxiety and fear. When gaming, you must put all your anxieties and worries in a mental box in your brain, and label that box “for later.” One technique to stop short-term anxiety is to meditate for like 15 minutes, let each anxious thought cross your brain, and either come up with a plan to fix it (I am skinny so I will go to the gym tomorrow), or tell yourself you will do your best despite that anxiety (I am short, but I will do as well as I can given my shortness). Once the anxieties have been “resolved” then go forth and have fun – even if they reappear tell yourself you will deal with them later. If you’re having a bad night, or something angers you, or you get sucked into the emotional vortex of neediness and unhappiness, go to the bathroom or outside, take a deep breath, and put yourself in the happy place again.
Fun, happiness, and positivity always win. Always. A lot of people, men and women, are dealing with anxiety, depression, pain, and sorrow, so being around an unshakably positive person is like being around a crack dealer who is giving them something they can’t get anywhere else. There is no guarantee that a woman will like you, but even the angriest, most pessimistic woman has way less excuses to reject a happy guy than a “tough” guy, or a bragging guy, or an awkward guy, etc...
And no matter what – be positive!! Even if they girl is talking about something sad, or tries to piss you off with a shit test, or the place you are at sucks, or any negative thing happens. No woman wants a stranger to come up to her and be negative, no matter how true or relevant to the situation it is. Period. Even if you are generally a negative, pessimistic person like myself, put that away when you approach people.
Bring enough confidence for the both of you
Never forget that in almost all approaches, WOMEN are the shy, insecure, anxious ones, which is why you must approach them, and not vice versa. Even when you approach them, they still have anxiety because it takes women some time to decide if they like you. Most guys don’t realize that if a woman is being shy, unresponsive, standoffish, or “stuck up” when you approach her, it is often because SHE has anxiety and insecurity, and she is still feeling you out.
That’s why, not only do you need to approach her with confidence, you must bring enough confidence for her as well. By this I mean that you should respond to her AS IF she was into you, for at least the first five-six cycles (by cycle I mean, you say something, and then she says something, etc…). Oftentimes a guy will approach a girl, she will react with anxiety or standoffishly, so he the guy will get anxiety, causing the girl’s anxiety to increase, leading to an anxiety spiral that kills the interaction. The man can prevent this by acting like she responded positively to his approach. It is very bizarre and unnatural – it literally feels like the scene in Weekend at Bernie’s where the guys pretend to hang out with a dead man. But by “endowing” her with fake confidence, her anxiety will often disappear.
Of course, if she goes more than 5-6 cycles being standoffish and cold then maybe she really doesn’t like you. This is your judgment call to make. Some girls take a long time to warm up, and will start to like you, while others are not into you but will talk to you just to be nice. Nevertheless, most of the time if the woman is still there talking to you, she has at least some interest. Remember – she can leave at any time. And furthermore, if a woman is not sending you any obvious signals, she may still be interested, which is why you must assume attraction.
Do not take the submissive position in the encounter
Women are very aware of the power dynamic in approaching. I’ve asked a few women why they never approach guys, and they almost always say “If I approach, he has all the power because he has the option to reject me, ignore me, etc... If I make him approach, I keep the power.” To women, the person making the approach is taking the weaker position and giving the approachee the power to reject him or her. These same women, however, want the guy to approach confidently – they literally want the man to act dominantly as she is trying to force him into the submissive position.
What these women don’t realize, and I do, is that “submissiveness” is completely in your head and depends purely on your feelings and actions. If you don’t “feel” or act submissive, then you aren’t. Period. I don’t approach as if I am the weak one asking for acceptance, but the powerful one accepting her. I even say absurd shit like “thanks for coming” or “I’ve never seen you here before” as if I was the owner and I was “letting” her be there. If she asks if I own the place, I say “no, but I act like I own every place I’m at.” My entire tone and demeanor is one of “I am the boss here, I can make you leave if I don’t like you, and you’re lucky to even talk to me.” This isn’t true, of course, but I act that way. If I’m in a Starbucks, I imagine I own the Starbucks, even if I am clearly just a customer.
This is an incredibly important point. Humans are wired to see relationships as a dominance hierarchy, and men and women have approach anxiety when approaching strangers because they feel like they are the inferior ape in the tribe “asking” the alpha for something, who is likely to say no. We are wired to feel extreme anxiety whenever we do something that we think might annoy the alpha or cause the alpha to reject us, and that anxiety is designed to paralyze us so we do nothing. The only way to overcome that approach anxiety is by feeling like we are the alpha “accepting” the woman into our awesome life.
This is much easier said than done. Many of you have deep feelings of inferiority that reach to the bottom of your soul and have been ingrained into you by traumatic experiences over your entire life. These feelings of inferiority and anxiety are exacerbated by society and the media, which make you feel like if you are not fucking a beautiful blonde every weekend then you have failed as a man. Every interaction with a woman becomes a pressure cooker because you feel like if you fail then you think you are a worthless loser.
Here is my attitude: I do not give a fuck if I ever get laid again. My life is awesome and sex with beautiful woman is such a tiny part of it that it if every woman on earth hates me, I will still be completely happy. Of course, I don’t really mean this – I still want to have sex and if every woman on earth hates me it might hurt my feelings a little. But if I have the mindset that I never need to get laid again and I will happily walk away from any woman, I take away all the power from any woman who wants to make me feel bad about myself or wants too much from me. I have known many beautiful women who were terrible, miserable, deeply depressed losers, so I will never supplicate to a woman just because she is a woman or because she is hot. You can only make me feel bad if I actually did something wrong, but I am always trying my hardest to be a good person and I know the difference between right and wrong so good luck with that shit. I also know that I can get laid, so if any particular woman says no, I can find a million women hotter than her that will say yes. I also know that every woman is a completely different person – if some fat, ugly, homeless woman rejects me, that doesn’t mean that some gorgeous supermodel won’t say yes.
“Put yourself in a dominant position” does not mean be a rude, loud, arrogant douchebag. Rather, as the dominant one who is “accepting” her into your awesome life, you must be calm, relaxed, warm, enthusiastic, friendly, and empathetic. Nothing is more dominant than being warm and friendly to a complete stranger who might reject you. By being positive and friendly no matter how she reacts, you show that you are so much above her that ever her worst reaction will not affect your positivity. Many women you approach will immediately shit test you, do something rude, or act weird, and you must plow through it by refusing to become overcome with anxiety or submissiveness. It is hard to keep this emotional frame at first, but once you get used to doing it, approaching is a breeze.
Once you take the dominant emotional mindset, women lose their magic. You no longer see yourself as asking some heavenly angel for a blessing, but rather as approaching a frail human being who has insecurities and anxieties and probably sucks in a lot of ways (as most people do). As much as I hate misogyny, I admit that sometimes a slightly misogynistic mindset helps guys get laid. If a hot girl is a pathetic loser, misogynistic guys will often treat her like a pathetic loser, letting her know that she can’t fool him and make him submissive.
Dominance is also physical. I will not speak to a woman until she is turned all the way towards me (shoulders square with mine), has her full attention on me, and I am physically comfortable. I often see women at bars comfortably sitting in a stool having a drink, and a guy at some weird, uncomfortable angle behind her trying to talk to her – that guy is in the submissive position. I absolutely will not accept that. Imagine you are Jay-Z welcoming guests to a party – if some rude guest will not turn all the way to face Jay-Z as he is introducing himself, do you think Jay-Z will stand there and try to continue the conversation? No, he will move on to better things.
Because of my demands, I immediately write off most girls because I cannot speak to her in a dominant way. If she is in a VIP section and I am not, I am not going to stand on the edge of the VIP and try to lean like some loser who wasn’t invited. If she is sitting and I am standing, I am not going to bend over to talk to her. If she wants to talk in an uncomfortable, cramped place, I try to get her to move and if she won’t, I move on.
I also don’t approach any girl who isn’t going to bring positivity. If she is clearly upset, or crying, or trying to start drama, I am not going to go over there and try to “help” her. I also don’t approach girls that are clearly with a guy, girls that are clearly doing something where they don’t want to be disturbed, girls that are too wasted, etc… A lot of guys may say that I’m giving up a lot of good opportunities this way, and they may be right, but I think I my way leads to a lot more high-percentage closes and is overall more fun for me.
The mechanics of the approach
Given my requirements described above, the actual approach is pretty straightforward.
First, make eye contact with everyone. Say hi to every girl you see, with only extreme exceptions (she’s clearly there with a guy, etc…). Wave if she’s far away. The warmer her reaction, the more conducive she is to being approached. But keep doing what you’re doing as you’re saying hi. If you’re going to buy a drink, keep your body in the motion of buying a drink. The worst possible thing that can happen is that she gives you a weird look or looks away, and this usually only happens if she’s there with a guy. No matter how unattractive you are, on a biological level it’s hard to say no to a happy person saying hi to you.
If you’re in a social crowd with people you know, talk to everybody, men and women, so you don’t look like some creeper that just wants pussy. In fact, in a mixed crowd of friends talk to the head alpha male and then introduce yourself to the girls almost as an afterthought. But eventually introduce yourself to every girl there – it’s only polite.
Instead of using clever “lines” or openers, I usually just introduce myself (“Hi, my name is Woujo”) or sometimes just say “hi, how are you?” In fact, I am against using canned openers because I want my approach to be authentic to the environment and the situation. If something about her or the environment really strikes me, I might comment on that thing first (“Dude, your sneakers are the shit” or “Isn’t this DJ awesome?” or “look at that weird guy dancing in the corner”).
I normally hate tricks, but here are some tricks.
All humans have an intense desire to be accepted into the tribe, so I might use an “acceptance” opener like “hey, thanks for coming” as if I own the bar, or “are you new here? I’ve never seen you before.”
Another trick: If you approach with words and a demeanor that make her feel like you guys already know each other, she may subconsciously be tricked into thinking you know her. Examples of “familiarity” openers are “hey, how are you,” “hey how was your day,” “what’s up,” or something that strangers don’t normally say to each other but familiar people do.
Another trick: if you are with a friend, introduce your friend first. Walk up to a group of girls and say “hey, have you guys met X?” For some strange reason, this almost always works, even when the girls have no idea either who either of you are. I am not sure why this method is so successful. It may be because of the familiarity principle, because 99% of the time if somebody is introducing you to somebody, you know that person. It may also be that the girl does not feel threatened by either of you, because your friend is not doing anything, and you are introducing your friend, so you are not “asking” for anything. For whatever reason, it works.
All that said, I don’t really ever think of my opener. Because I am having fun and feel confident, when I see a girl words just spill out of my mouth because I want to talk to her. I understand that I am this way because I have a ton of practice, but my point is that this shit should eventually just become muscle memory for you.
The second line
Because women are insecure and have anxiety, you usually need to push the conversation for 4-5 cycles before she gets into it. I think of approaching like trying to start a lawnmower – sometimes you have to pull the cord a few times before the engine starts running on its own. Your ultimate goal is to get her to the point where she opens up to you and starts talking about herself in a deep way. But girls are not going to want to open up to a complete stranger at first, so you need to pull the cord a few times.
For the second line, I often use a line that could have been a first line. If I started with “hey how are you” my next line might be “Hi, I’m Woujo.” I’ve found that a great second line is “what did you do today”? “What did you do today” works because of the familiarity principle – that’s not something you would expect a stranger to ask. It also works because everybody did something that day and that thing is usually the most important thing on their mind.
Other “second lines”:
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“Do you come here often?” Or “Have you been here on EDM/house/hip hop night before?”
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If you know the owner or promoter or something, I may say “do you know owner/promoter?” This is a version of the acceptance opener, and it kind of scares the girls into thinking that they are supposed to know the person.
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“You seem like a nice/interesting person” – I don’t normally like to say “you’re cute” because if she’s hot she gets that all the time and if she’s not she knows I’m lying.
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“Are you guys out for a special occasion?”
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If it is daytime, I may ask a question relevant to the environment “what are you shopping for today,” “what band did you come to see,” “who is getting the abortion today”?
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“I had to come talk to you because nobody is partying harder than you and I love positivity.”
- I might also use the gushing positivity opener, where I say “I am having the most incredible time ever” and then tell her a funny story of something that happened to me that night.
One thing about second lines: don’t ask something too probing or weird. For example, don’t ask “where are you staying” or “why is your friend sad?” That shows too much emotional investment in her.
As you can see, it’s not rocket science. Your emotional demeanor is a lot more important than the words you say. Your goal is to just make the second line relevant to her feelings and the situation. These lines are the absolute most basic ones – you will be able to think of more creative lines when you are actually in fun situations where cool shit is going on around you.
If you pique her feelings, she will get interested and want to talk to you. That’s all.
Final steps
The next step? Forget everything you just read. Anxiety feeds on thoughts, so the more thoughts you put in your mind, the more reasons anxiety can find to express itself. You should just DO and not think. Everything I have written here is technically true, but you should get to the point where you are executing this without thinking. You should be thinking about your awesome life, not little tactics to get girls to like you.
My website: http://www.woujo.com
My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/woujo3
My facebook: http://www.facebook.com/woujonation
GoblinSpammer2017 9y ago
For the hopeless, where do you find hope? I don't have much left honestly. Almost at the point where I say, "why bother. If I can't get it right by now, I never will."
I know this post is to be helpful and l am not trying to debate it but to understand where someone like me is coming from, people have to know honest thoughts.
[deleted] 9y ago
Excellent guide for when you're past a certain stage. However, for anyone with AA, I would recommend doing some brutal drills to start out:
If you think these drills are challenging or you "can't do it", no matter what your skill level is, it means you still have AA.
Future_Alpha 9y ago
I know Woujo is an endorsed contributor with a great many upvotes, but when I see or hear a grown ass man using the word 'misogyny' I cannot take anything he says seriously after that.
Also, I have tried this myself, it gets a girl to be friendly, but it won't necessairly give dates.
What about push/pull and frame control?
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Eclectiqque 9y ago
wow, this is my favorite article on TRP (possibly on reddit). thank you so much for writing this - it's what most of the people here need and also a nice refresher for the older ones.
one question for you, as you seem Red Pilled enough so that your answer will matter for me (I also remember your name from older articles):
Very positive, brightest smile type of guy, high energy, unshakeabale positivity
Both of these guys are described by you. However, IMO they are different. I tend and am the second one, although from time to time, depending on the mood, I am 1. I'd be mind eased if you'd tell me there's a combination of these two, but don't lie to me.
What do u think?
[deleted] 9y ago
I saved this post in my personal 10 page limit TRP archive.
[deleted] 9y ago
What should I do if she only gives one word answers? It becomes exhausting to be the who is doing 90% of talking. And if I don't talk, the conversation just dies.
Weaponier 9y ago
I would recommend moving on after 5-6 cycles if you are doing that. There are more women out there that need our attention.
Duchenne4089 9y ago
Your posts are fantastic, Woujo. Keep up the good work.
thrillhouss3 9y ago
I think it's important that you said, you don't need sex. Of course this goes against every man's primal need but psychologically you need to learn to not let it be the target of every single interaction because it won't make you focus on the moment.
It's even okay to walk away from something that's going good sometimes. It will help reassure you that you have power and cement that confidence.
Good write up OP.
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GeorgeKarlin 9y ago
Thanks for this Woujo. Reading you is such a pleasure. You really try to go deep on the procress. Since I like to play with words, here's some comments of mine.
Keep writing bro
"Women have a deep, primal ability to sense when a guy is “locked in,” which causes them to go into fight or flight mode"
People, men and women have a primal ability to sense when someone is locked in. It's called being creepy. Nobody likes being locked in by someone creepy
"She needs to feel like your life is more fun than hers, and she needs to act right so she can join yours. This is easiest when you actually have a more fun life. "
No, life is not a competition (actually a part of life is, but not when you meet someone). She needs to feel your genuinly interested in her, not because your life sucks and you need someone to feel better. If you frame yourself "my life needs to be more intersting than her", it's gonna be bad right from the start. you will perceive everything she does as an attempt to trick you down. You always gonna be defensive and you gonna have to use a lot of ressource to meet someone. Just meet someone.
"Women can subconsciously sense when you’re on a mission, and the moment you just stand there dumbly or show that she can throw you off your mission she loses attraction" I think the point is not the mission. You're here to meet people right? Don't lie to yourself. The idea is don't drop everything you do if a pretty girl gives you attention. So many guys (including me) get locked in when a pretty girl talk to them. Don't. Have a fun night regardless of her attention. You demonstrate it by not getting stuck with her. You let her space. You don't need her. You like her, but you don't need her. You don't leave your friends all night because a pretty girl is here. You stay with her for a while to discover if you're genuinly attracted to her. Then you say something like "It was nice meeting you but now I'll go back to my friends. Then you ask for the number or you go back to her latter. Just let her space.
"You must be unshakeably positive and exude joy" I disagree with this. You don't have to be unshakeably positive. Because life sucks most of the time. Life is hard. trying to be unshakeably positive is called lying on yourself. The point is get your shit together. Deal with the shit. Own it. Then you'll be able to love life, understand others and make everyone happier. But don't lie to yourself by trying to always be happy and never show others that sometimes you feel like shit. You connect with other by sharing your feelings, but not in a needy way of course
"Bring enough confidence for the both of you" Yes. Yes yes yes. Very well said. As a man, you have to take the burden of the approach. And own it. Women love it.
"Do not take the submissive position in the encounter" I prefer "Take the lead." Because nobody knows what to do. Take the lead and take her to your own, fun world.
"Many of you have deep feelings of inferiority that reach to the bottom of your soul and have been ingrained into you by traumatic experiences over your entire life" Actually all humans being have feelings of inferiority. We ALL HAVE. Thoses who don't recognise it are liars or don't understand themselves. When you own your feeling of inferiority by self improvement, you learn that this feeling of inadequacy can be owned. That's when you become charismatic.
"If you’re in a social crowd with people you know, talk to everybody, men and women, so you don’t look like some creeper that just wants pussy." This is so important. Be there to have fun with everyone who's ready to have fun. Don't just be a shark looking for pussy. Have fun with guys, fat ladies, old ladies, everyone. Everyone sense it when you're just talking to the hot ladies. It sucks to be with someone like that. Don't be a shark.
GoblinSpammer2017 9y ago
What do you do when you can't afford "fun"? Give up?
GeorgeKarlin 9y ago
What do you mean by that ? I'm not sure to understand your question.
If you're at a party and you don't have fun. Maybe it's because you're too much in your head. Then Go to the toilet. Breathe. Clear your mind. Relax. Go back and engage others. Say anything that pops into your mind. Share your thoughts with others when you're relaxed. Find the funny guys/girls. Anyone that makes you enjoy the night. You'll start feeling "in the zone". When you're in the zone, it's easier to meet new people and bring them with you. Help them get in the zone with your energy. They will like you for it.
If you can't afford fun maybe it's because you're passive. Aka you wait for someone to give you fun. It's a problem because you need someone to feel fun. Start to create the fun yourself. Then include others. Don't be an autist that pretend to have fun alone. It's a hard process but I think that's the way. I have set myself an easy goals to have a positive mindset about any party. How many people I never met before have smiled tonight thanks to me ? If it's one, I'm happy.
Maybe you can't afford fun because something sucks in your life and you need to deal with it before having fun. If you go out as an escape for your problems in your life then it's gonna be really hard to have a fun night. Work hard on your problems during the day. Then your brain gonna let you have a fun night.
And If you really tried, sometimes it just suck. Nobody is really fun, it's just the wrong party. Then go home, get some rest. It's not you fault. You're better than before. Keep going next time. You're better because you tried.
The main point is to be the creator of the fun. Initiate fun for others. IF some are not receptive. Don't let the negative thought go in your head. It will stuck you. Breathe. Let go. Try again. Again. Again. Then if nothing works even you tried several time, Just Stop. Don't be too hard on yourself. Get some rest and repeat.
GoblinSpammer2017 9y ago
Jesus christ....I wasn't expecting some sort of spanish inquisition!
A simpler response would have been fine. Being real with people doesn't mean you got to be condescending.
GeorgeKarlin 9y ago
I'm not condescending, I did my best to answer your question.
I like to be very precise with my words. Sometimes it's confusing.
Did I answered your point ? Because you don't give me any info.
110101010101011 9y ago
This is the best point to me.
BloodRedAlert 9y ago
Good read. This is all the approach guide needed. Also I saw some rocket science version of this somewhere here. Awesome post.
max_peenor 9y ago
Absolutely fucking correct. For those that have a hard time finding this in themselves, I recommend that also try an add curiosity to the list. Be curious about all those people out there. What are they doing? What's that machine they are using? How did they learn to do it? What's the end goal? How does someone do this? You get the idea. Sometimes they will just want you to go away. That's ok. However, people guard talking about themselves, but they love to talk about what they do. It's the forge of pride in the vast majority of people. Work that forge.
So my mother's husband (married after my father's death) is as dumb as a box of rocks. However, he is this completely. He'd approach a dog and ask it how it accomplishes a shit with such nimbleness, if he thought the dog would actually tell him. He's a decent enough looking guy (no homo) but obviously older and a bit slight. This guy has a rolodex thicker than Ron Jeremy's cock folded over itself two dozen times. He fucking knows everyone.
I too have been THAT guy, but as with so much with the pill, it's hard to see diddly shit in yourself unless you can witness it in someone else first.
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[deleted] 9y ago
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GeorgeKarlin 9y ago
Good job bro. You're starting to own your shit. Happiness can't be faked. You're becoming happy by overcoming your shit.
Can you be more specific about what you did?
Good job !
GoblinSpammer2017 9y ago
I've never had much luck in life with women. Even ones friendly to me. This part of life has been stagnant forever. The one who did happen to come my way screwed me over big time.
I never been popular. Back in school I was the guy who always got picked last in gym class. Proms were a joke. Adult life has been stagnant just about all the time.
Nothing much has changed even far into my adult life. I don't understand alot about this stuff and confidence try as I might, fails. With rejections, being invisible, and what my ex did to me, I really don't know what there is to be confident about. How am I supposed to feel confident towards women when none most of my life notice me no matter how good or decent I am?
I don't have the looks it seems. And it all seems hopeless because my build is slim. Women just don't seem to want what I have at all.
I try so hard to stay hopeful and positive but I got nothing to show for it.
I read your post. It sounds good but without having anything regarding women ever that's worth anything , what exactly is there to feel confident about. I'm trying to understand.
Woujo 9y ago
Women don't notice men or approach them. It's the man's responsibility. Men have to take the lead. You've never done that so you can't say that women won't like you.
Your problem is that you suffer from feelings of inferiority. I have a program to work on that, but you have to take it seriously. It's a long road. PM me if you're interested.
[deleted] 9y ago
"You must be unshakeably positive and exude joy"/ "Bring...Confidence"
Many a lonely boy would be so much happier if he only learned this and dared to show some happiness and positivity in his approach whilst remaining masculine and 'leading' her.
Half the stuff I see on her claims that you should pretty much Cave-man the poor girl into going somewhere with you, it'll work...maybe...if you're rock-solid with your game...but it's far from ideal, especially if you're not Greek-statue handsome.
Anyway this is another great write-up that people need to see, well done that man once again.
CQC3 9y ago
That was honestly the worst advice.
Most people can't fake positivity, they just look like dopey fools. You should be about as positive as you feel, if you're not feeling very positive then don't fake it.
The difference--for my moping friends, is that you have to find within you some basic joy of life to balance the negativity. I'm a very negative person in my vibe and demeanor, but I'm also fairly talkative when given the chance and I joke a lot and am quite good at making people laugh.
What we call negativity seems to have varying definitions. Negativity to me is not actions or words but simply a charge. Some people are negatively charged and others are positive.
OP says that people who are feeling anxious and depressed are attracted to happy people like crack, well that's not true. People who are truly negative (but not necessarily in an unhealthy way) can find overly positive people annoying as fuck sometimes. Some of the people I liked the most in life were not "happy" people, but you know what? They had grit and guts to bear their misery with a grin. I wouldn't say they were happy, but they were not broken men. Far from it. What matters regardless of demeanor is to exude the will to overcome. Some say that's confidence, others say it's positivity/optimism, whatever you want to call it.
I want to make a concession here and mention that OP also did say "joy", which I think is a different matter. People exuding joy are definitely more magnetic, but what if someone is fairly negative in their vibe but they exude joy?
Comfort is the most important thing, and if you're just going against your nature and faking a positive and outgoing persona, you're going to fail or be crushed eventually under the self imposed burden of performance. Take it from an antisocial fuck like me, what good is socializing when you won't allow yourself to do it from a place of comfort instead of deceit?
Be like me, be comfortable in your misery and maybe, just maybe you'll attract some happy and positive people who want a place to rest their bullshit and sit with someone who makes them feel like the negative and anxious things they think are not social taboo to feel and let out.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
DonaldBaelish 9y ago
It's all fun and games untill someone comes and yells "Never smile , motherfucker".
[deleted] 9y ago
Whilst homey sits there with a penis as useless as his opinions.
[deleted] 9y ago
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ag_blank 9y ago
well, that was almost english
i bet you get a lot of kittens moist with your 'fly' way of speaking
[deleted] 9y ago
I like your artwork.
self made or farmed out?
ThePermanentGuest 9y ago
This is THE approach guide. Comprehensive and full of truth.
This times 10. I believe it was Napoleon Hill who advised a reader to act like he were the mayor of his city. The reader then went around town with an air of confidence, smiling at everyone he saw and making small talk.
Your mind is a powerful tool. Dominance and submission are choices you make independent of others.
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 9y ago
So when trying to be relevant to her feelings, how do I do that without being too probing or seeming too emotionally invested? You said asking, "Why is your friend sad" is too probing, so I assume asking "Why are you sad" is the same thing.
Woujo 9y ago
I would never ask why are you sad because I don't fuck with negativity.
SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 9y ago
Do you have any other go to lines to get her talking about her feelings?
serious_loser 9y ago
Rush hour, train is packed.. asshole mom has a baby stroller the size of a sedan right in the aisle . I squeeze my way past it.. I'm standing directly behind this stroller, baby wakes up , starts crying, then proceeds to projectile vomit about 9 gallons of what looks like cottage cheese... it went all over this woman reading a book.. the whole train smelled like dogshit and roadkill.. everyone was green and trying not to puke.. the mom just got off at the next stop.
calloberjig 9y ago
Solid guide Woujo!
Reading through I realized I subconsciously do most of this already, but so great to see it broken down succinctly.
I lost it. Well done.
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Pamphlet__ 9y ago
I may add that this guide also applies well in others areas of life.
I have an interview tomorrow and it's a good reminder to:
1) Keep abundance mentality by having coming opportunities in mind (to release stress)
2) Be positive and enthusiastic (as it's a good motivation indicator)
3) Being confident (that it becomes obvious that you don't doubt in yourself, you know your worth deep within)
4) Maybe I should be careful with the dominant aspect during the interview, but to keep in mind to show my boundaries and values.
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Woujo 9y ago
Every man has these tendencies. The only difference between men and women is that men can overcome them and become an alpha male, while women cannot.
iloveturks 9y ago
Excellent post dude, I'm going to try that "so glad you could make it out tonight" line this weekend, that opener really intrigues me.
I see a dialogue something along the lines of:
Me: "hey yo, glad you could make it, it's awesome that you came out tonight"
Her: "do we know each other / are you a promoter here?"
Me (with a shit eating grin, very important): "no, but we will / no, but having had a look at you, I'm happy you're here / of course, they call me boss nigga around here"
Woujo 9y ago
I use that opener successfully at 34:50 in this infield:
https://soundcloud.com/user-180514241/life-infield-audio
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elcarlosmiguel 9y ago
haha audio infield is a new one
oddisay 9y ago
https://youtu.be/4wuB_IQVPlg
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Roaring40sUK 9y ago
Great post!
A beautiful woman will wipe out all of our thoughts and emotions and replace them with her and only her. This is why most men sound stupid when they talk to beautiful women. They completely forgot who they are, what they like, what their boundaries are
So fucking true.
Approach is by far my weakest area of my whole life.. I will come back to this post again in the future.
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GoblinSpammer2017 9y ago
I never understood that and yet the same people who normally tell someone not to be like that, will tell everyone to be themselves. So stupid.
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Kingern 9y ago
Well, fuck.
I knew I wasn't cut out for this game anyway
Hulegu2 9y ago
Well written with examples that make it memorable. Great Job!
DadOnDabs 9y ago
Too much post. Trim it down and maybe I'll give it a read.
[deleted] 9y ago
Shut the fuck up dude this is fantastic. Stop playing so many video games and jerking off so you can raise your dopamine receptor sensitivity and have the mental instruments to digest a damn good post like this. i would suggest posts on beating your attention span issue but they would require an attention span to read in the first place.
max_peenor 9y ago
I upvoted both of you, because you are both right. The truth is that if you were to take that tome into a board room, you'd be driven from the company. Likewise, if none of those board members spend time reading deep, thoughtful prose, as is this post, they'd be ignorant shits that wouldn't be where they were.
So stop being dicks to each other and realize there is a place for everything.
[deleted] 9y ago
All due respect, I completely disagree. You would never tell Rollo there's a "valid" opinion that TRM is too long and wouldn't fly in a board meeting. There are short posts and long posts. Some posts take more than one sitting to read, or more than one read to digest. That's the nature of writing and forums. If someone can say something more concise and not lose meaning, by all means. That was not the case here.
I will not be coerced into sugarcoating. TRP is not a safe space. People have been harsh with me and in retrospect you come to appreciate it. We have to become tougher not just physically but mentally as well.
Thanks for the "upvote"...haha
max_peenor 9y ago
No one said anything about the validity of any point. This was about presentation. You have to know your audience, your target and the environment. This is public forum 101.
mynameisalso 9y ago
What a scumbag attitude. I'd love to see op post a picture of him and his girlfriend or whatever with a timestamp. All his advice is based on men in black, and something that happened to his buddy.
Don't take relationship advice from someone who hasn't been married for a minimum of 15 years. These are the people that will show you how to make a relationship work.
Also think about this. 1 man telling this sub what all women want and need. All women don't even want men, so how can this be true. Op seems like a self absorbed shit heel trying to plug himself.
[deleted] 9y ago
'Scumbag attitude'? What a perfectly asinine view to take of such a nicely structured, useful, approach guide.
If you are suggesting that someone who doesn't conform to your own subjective idea of 'X Lothario', 'Y Serial Shagger' or 'Z Pick-up-artist' can't possibly have anything worthwhile to say and shouldn't be listened to, then not only are you foolish in the way you think, but you are also foolish in the way you spend your time on this Subreddit, learning nothing.
disposable_pants 9y ago
He's either trolling, lost, or both.
mynameisalso 9y ago
First off not all women are the same. To say so, or that x tips... Is extremely condescending. To both men and women. To anyone in a real relationship. That they could have just followed these steps you can have a relationship. This isn't the way the world works. It isn't the way people work. This is blatantly obvious to anybody who has ever been in a real love based relationship. This is such childish snake oil bullshit. And the proof is in the pudding. His entire post was about plugging himself. And you eat it up.
newName543456 9y ago
LOL
You get your panties in the bunch over someone saying AWALT, yet you assume everyone wants to be in long-term marriages.
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[deleted] 9y ago
You clearly possess some higher-level of knowledge that us mere, blatantly unlovable, mortals can only aspire to.
It could always be that an article with "Tips" in the title is aimed at providing some general good advice though rather than rock-solid, guaranteed-to-never-fail and utterly unbreakable rules...just a thought.
It is the exact kind of autistic literalism that you clearly possess that keeps people down and miserable.
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trpperr 9y ago
All women are the same. As are men. We are animals, contrary to what you would like to believe. The only thing that sets us apart from other animal species is our brain, our mind and our capability of abstract thinking (as far as we know for now).
When it coms to "real relationships", if you have any kind of animals near your place of residence, check their mating rituals. Cats are a good one.
Caloing this childish snake oil bullshit is flat-out wrong. Shit works just as he described. I hope you can see it some day, but it is you who must want to see the truth, hidden from you, even though it is in front of your bare eyes.
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