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[deleted]

Posted 12y ago in Ask Red Pill - Permalink - Locked - 170 Views

Turned out the party was tonight... Whatever.

I wanted to make sure that there was no ambiguity that we were NOT there "together" so I wanted to avoid her for most of the night. She looked damn good though. I could have stared at her all night if I let myself.

I tried to do some beta things but man I was out beta'd by every guy there. A ton of them were flocking to her. I literally could not be beta enough on purpose. That itself was eye opening.

When we got there, we did stay together for a bit and I talked to her. I faced away from her but she was facing me. When listening to someone though, I always look right in their eyes and I did that. She moved closer, touching my arm. So I stopped doing it.

Anyway, I make it a point to avoid her for the rest of the night, but she's my ride back. She gets lost three times driving back and takes the long road. She wanted to find a place to eat though I did say I was hungry. I said everything was closed. She was so nervous. Edit: I even pointed out her nervousness which made her MORE nervous. I turned on my beta and started friendzoning. I think it worked. I started talking about her husband and kids.

Get to her house.

Husband waiting at the door.

Fuck... Man... Can't imagine what he's thinking.

In view of her husband, but out of earshot, she asks to meet up again and I'm like "whatever works".

No touching, no googly eyes, no flirting, nothing.

I think I did good. I hope he fucks her good tonight so she doesn't look for it somewhere else.

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3MinuteHero 12y ago

Yeah, you did really good from what it sounds like. Understand that you were fighting an uphill battle from the beginning. Trying to turn on your non-interest was sort of working against you, but there was really no other reasonable path to take. From what you're describing, your other actions seemed to work well.

But geez...waiting at the door? Poor guy. It's going to happen to him at some point, but that doesn't have to be you. It's headaches you don't need.

[deleted] 12y ago

Yeah, she just emailed me this morning...

46xy 12y ago

Go on...

[deleted] 12y ago

"Had fun last night, blah blah blah"

Piroko 12y ago

Wave off man, wave off.

_Molon_Labe_ 12y ago

I have to give you props for having honor. I know a lot of guys have the mentality that if she's straying, it's her fault and not theirs, or the husband is fucking up somehow, but that's just something I could never do. She should divorce if she wants out, not drag her and her family through the pain of betrayal.

46xy 12y ago

Wow. Good on you and shame on her.

I hope I never become this guy (the husband).

WorkThrow99 12y ago

Have you asked if they're in an open relationship? Maybe it's the case, and maybe the husband is just curious about who's the dude she's been talking about. It might not entirely be what you think it is from your perspective. Maybe she's trying to turn you into their toy. Hahaha

Decide what YOU want, and then tell her what you want. Get your answers. ;-)

RedditBlueit 12y ago

If she won't introduce him or even add him on Facebook, it is probably not an open relationship.

WorkThrow99 12y ago

Yeah, good point, missed that. It's the most probable reason why she wouldn't. Other idea being that she can do whatever, as long as it's "only sex" and he doesn't get mixed in anything else. At that point though, she'd probably pursue something more anonymous.

josephtkach 12y ago

An open relationship is just cheating without having the balls to admit it.

WorkThrow99 12y ago

So, if I have more than one girlfriend, and I'm up front about it to them, I'm cheating? I'm breaking which agreement? If we talked about exclusivity, and I told her I don't want to be exclusive, but I want the rest, and she agrees to it, how is that not a relationship, and how is that cheating?

josephtkach 12y ago

Arguing about the meanings of words is a fruitless activity, but if you don't have exclusivity, it's a very different kind of arrangement. The term "relationship" is, I think, intentionally vague and neuter. My real point is that if you are sharing your woman with someone else, she is not your woman.

WorkThrow99 12y ago

I'm only saying that because you bring out cheating, which is usually a loaded word, which isn't meaningful in this context.

But, yeah, it's a given that if you aren't exclusive, she isn't exclusive to you, unless you strike an asymmetrical arrangement.

Asymmetrical arrangements don't always last as long as other relationships, so you could then argue that you are going to lose her, and she won't be "your woman" either. But then, that raises the point that, when she wasn't with you, she fucked other dudes. What's the difference in her having fucked other dudes before you, and her fucking dudes because you permit it?

What makes her "your woman"? Is it because she is "stuck" in a deal where she isn't allowed to fuck other people, or, is it when she's allowed to fuck others, but doesn't want to, because she'd rather fuck you, and only you?

I'd rather be with a women who is allowed to fuck other dudes, but doesn't want to, who viscerally feels that she wants only me, than be with one who's "going along with the deal" but kinda resents it, and if it ever happens, will react like she fucked up and better hide it.

[deleted] 12y ago

I would not be involved in an open relationship with a woman with two men. That is only guaranteed to end up this way.

WorkThrow99 12y ago

Not if you know how to set your boundaries. This is what I want, this is what I find acceptable, and this is what I don't want. This is fine, and if it comes to this, I'm bailing out.

And what the hell. It's always been a guy with multiple women anyways, never the inverse. Ever see a harem of one girl with multiple men? I mean, it can happen when you are dating, but the guys are also seeing other women. If you are not ok with anything, speak out, kick her out and find another one. Jesus, you make it sound like you have no control what so ever on who you end up with. O_o

You know that if you want to have a relationship where you get to see other women, and she doesn't get to see other men, you can ask for that too. Nothing says you're going to get it, but you can ask, and gun for that. If she doesn't want to, you can just dump her and be alone, or get another girlfriend. Being by yourself isn't a curse, and at most, something temporary. (Unless you'd choose to remain alone, which, is your prerogative.)

And this isn't something you talk about when a baby is on the way, you lay this out as soon as possible in the relationship. Why does it seem so complicated for a lot of people on this sub?

[deleted] 12y ago

Go for it. I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm competing with another guy by design just to get pussy. There is enough pussy out there. The woman I'm talking about is extra hot but I'm at an age where I think with more than my penis now.