One of the major schisms in Red Pill/Blue Pill thinking is whether there can exist a natural "chemistry" between a man and a woman, or if the "spark" that she feels towards him is artificially manufactured, intentional on his part or not.
Let us suppose that Harry meets Sally at the local public library.
If Harry grew up surrounded by women, going to parties in highschool, eventually he might notice trends - certain conversations, habits, dress, or touching her a specific way tend to maximize his chance of scoring. He's learning how to create that spark of romance.
But let's say Harry didn't go to more than the occasional party, because he was busy doing other things, or he was just a loser with low self esteem. He never learned how to physically escalate, he never learned how to read the cues that Sally's just hoping he'll make a move - and suddenly, Harry is in college, surrounded by guys who seem to just "get it" and are sexing it up with hot sorority chicks, while he can't get more than the occasional date, on which he can't help but wonder if this girl made Chad wait six dates, four of which were at expensive restaurants, before putting out.
Harry's not a bad guy. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't know how to make romance happen. He doesn't know how to make "chemistry" happen, unless it's in the context of moles and Avogadro's number. And we can't fault Sally either, never in her life was she responsible to create a "spark" and woo her partner, so as far as she's concerned, the chemistry simply isn't there.
TRP is full of men who "get it", in that they are sexually successful. They tell stories to provide guys like Harry with the experience that they never got, to give them the means to create the spark themselves. This all sounds alien to women, because it is - it's like a martian showing up to Earth and pretending to fit in by reading textbooks on how to act human. Sally was never responsible to make the romance happen. None of this was ever even on her radar. All she had to do was show up to a party for the first time, and she simply gravitated toward the guy who "gets it".
Meanwhile, the Harrys of the world often discover that having social skills is not the same as being able to get a girl into your bed. Most guys who can't get laid are normal guys who don't like confrontation, go to school/work every day and drink with their buddies on the weekends. Social, well-adjusted guys who do everything by the book. But for whatever reason, they're still not getting laid, at least at the same frequency as Tony the jockstrap who dropped out of highschool and repairs cars for a living, but knows how to play the game.
To Sally, social skills and picking someone up to go home with are the same, because she goes out to a house party to be social and "whoops!", this guy said all the right things and touched her the right way, next thing she knows she's back at his apartment, but that just happened. She's not usually like that. She's not that kind of girl.
In the same story, the guy who took her home had to go through agonizing months of trial and error, in high school or later, to learn how to make it feel organic - like she was "just being social".
"Chemistry" means that there's some mysterious spark that indicates the relationship was "meant to be" - in that sense, Joe RedPill, who knows how to navigate the sexual marketplace, doesn't perceive chemistry, because he had to take the initiative to attract her in the first place. He had to make the romance happen. In contrast, 99% of the time, all a woman has to do is show up and let herself be swept along should Joe's game be tight enough.
But be careful not to conflate "chemistry" with affection. Joe RedPill can certainly feel emotion towards a woman transcending physical attraction, especially once he has invested in her. It just won't be the classic, magical experience peddled in childhood movies. The fact is, the Disney romance doesn't exist - at least for men.

[deleted] 8y ago
A woman get's gifted her sexual value by genetics.
A man's sexual value is a combination of things. It's a series of numbers added up:
The number adds up to a value, e.g 7 or 8 smv.
Men's value is a mixture of genetics and everything else that could make him more attractive (money or a big social group)
Woman's value is simply her existence + genetics, and her personality to a very small degree.
Love in the traditional sense of 'finding the one' is entirely wrong and a manufactured myth.
Attraction is simply 'Attraction at the current circumstances'.
She loves your circumstances, not you. Your personality might help you get more attractive.
Nothing in how you are in your brain, how you function, think and act, is ever a determining factor in a woman's attraction.
I see many men with their gf's, and I always predict when they will break up. Sick I know, but relationships end either by breakup or death. 1-2 years from now I don't think Joe who landed with 'the one' who doesn't lift or read or meet tonnes of people will be up to scrap for his gf anymore.
I realize relationships don't last forever. If you don't improve your smv, she will branch swing. Her unconscious mind is waiting to branch swing.
[deleted] 8y ago
Or maybe the difference is what you expect and want from a woman...? I didn't just choose my wife based on her looks. It wasn't just a small bit her personality. It was her values, her interests, her heart, her generosity, her dislikes, and a multitude of other things, to include that assssssss. What I'm saying is, maybe choose a woman based less on what you think she might look like fucking her, and choose a woman that you have chemistry with to have out of this world sex. Wtf do I know though. Seriously
CharlieMungerReader 8y ago
Even with a women with values, SMV still matters alot. It's a survival of the fittest. People chosing losers as mates is just very suboptimal.
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[deleted] 8y ago
You were her beta bux then...
[deleted] 8y ago
My policy on life is that there are no truly negative things once you adopt a realistic mindset (came from 50th law btw).
Because they are attracted to so little of who you actually are as a sentient organism, then they will never reject you entirely because of your personality.
The Current Circumstances must have at some point lost too many points.
When she says it's now you, it's me, she's partly true.
Nothing of who you are as a person (outside of sexual value) was the problem, it was her problem with your smv.
Many men with disgusting, petty and evil personalities are still attractive to women because of the sexual value they have.
In her mind she saw that you weren't going to be some Bob Dylan or something in the future after that incident, so she ditched.
Which is bullshit, because education doesn't gaurentee anything. Da Vinci was a bastard who wasn't let into some of the top italion schools and he turned out pretty fine.
My advice:
[deleted] 8y ago
Like other have said, what is the point waking up at 5 am? I wake up at 6 45am to get to work. If there was a benefit to waking up earlier, I would do that. I just always liked waking up when there was daylight.
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TheRedStoic 8y ago
Who cares what Chad is doing. You can't change him, only yourself. So don't waste the time worrying about him.
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[deleted] 8y ago
Here's one eye opener I learned after leaning down and putting on muscle: it's obvious that a larger number of girls find me attractive. The IOIs come in from all corners when I'm in public. The funny thing is, though, women NEVER approach. That is, unless they're drunk and/or high. The point here, is that even though a girl clearly wants a guy, she is restrained socially (to not look like a slut) and by her standard of extraversion in men who approach her. Imagine being that powerless? Even if you wanted that girl more than anything, your own ego and social cues would prevent you from taking action. In this regard, I'm fucking thankful the ability approach is in my court.
Motor-boat 8y ago
And in the same regard we can understand why they whore themselves out on social media. Because that is acceptable.
Imagine a situation where Sally sees Chad at the bar. She eyes fucks him for a few seconds before conceding to check her Instagram to see how many people liked her latest belfie. Twenty-five more likes. Chad would like that, yes, he would.
[deleted] 8y ago
Women care more about social standing and others perception of them, because they must. Survival demanded it of them and it's in their evolution. Men, on the other hand, could survive alone or in smaller packs. Less of a need to fit in. This is why risking social ostracisation for men isn't that big of a deal.
DamnDirtyApe87 8y ago
haha, this made me laugh.. thanks
FieldLine 8y ago
Great point.
This is what many guys realize, once they get out of the angry phase - the game is that much harder for men, because they are the ones who have to take the initiative, but it's always better to be the one in control.
Personally, I would never be able to sit around waiting for things to happen as a result of the actions of others.
[deleted] 8y ago
Could you imagine being an ugly girl? That's like a guy being ugly, fat and having zero ambition to change himself. I pity those girls.
FieldLine 8y ago
Dude, I can't even imagine.
Ugly girls really do have it worse than everyone.
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S4G3T34 8y ago
I was one for the first 29 years, so I'm pretty jealous of your finding it after only the first 20. Maybe the most bitter part of the pill is realizing how much time I wasted being a dumbass.
OmegaMan2 8y ago
So was I. I was over 30 when I started lifting and generally trying to improve myself. Everything worked out though as I've now been married for more than 20 years, have 4 children and my wife still rips my clothes off.
My girlfriend, who would later become my wife tried so very hard to show me what a good wife she would make, and so I took her up on her offer and have not regretted it since.
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StrangerDanGer707 8y ago
I just wanna say Thanks for the laugh ????. I really liked the part mentioning moles and avogadro number therefore thumb up for you ????✌️
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