Marriage and money are two distinct compounds in a solution called commitment. This solution is either permanent or more recently, mostly temporary. I will focus on the latter. The problem being that marriage and money are a solution similar to mixing alcohol and water. Alcohol being the woman's contribution and water being the man's. When separation happens, the solution is considered alcoholic though diluted, and the rightful owner of the whole solution is deemed to be the woman. It is now the man's burden to prove a water content even though it may be larger.

I got to see this for myself

Here goes,

I got to work for three days with an elderly couple. I will call the man, Mr The woman Mrs. So, Mrs. Is from a rich family and her folks recently died leaving her a boatload of money. Mr. was invested in housing industry and lost a lot of money during the housing bubble burst. Nevertheless, for the last thirty years he has supported the wife 100% and she was a teacher with no money until daddy died and left her money. All her medical and life bills he paid and provided a good lifestyle for her.

Mr. got sick and had a lot of medical issues. She slowly and surely turned into Cruella. She became mean and when her daddy died, she even wanted to kick him out of his own home. She tried to get him declared mentally incompetent so that she could take over the ranch property. She tried to get him thrown into an old people home. She started hanging with a retired younger lawyer while he was at home sick pampering him with money. But fate had a different plan. Mr. got better but still disabled. Mrs. was diagnosed with a terminal disease that is guaranteed to kill her in less than 5years. The tables had turned.

Now here is where the marriage and money comes into play. Looking at her past, he took care of her. Paid all of her medical and other bills. But now that it was him she naturally saw him as a non provider. Mr. came across her last will and testament, somehow. Her will had zero provision for him. She had even put her friends and her brother who also received a large amount of money from the dad. And am talking millions. A man who had taken care of her for 30 years. Zero kids. He had given her close to 500k in loans for a failed business. not a single penny did she will him.

Mr. saw the light. He started going to casinos, massages, meeting friends and doing a lot of activities. Mrs. bed bound stays home with her nurses. She cries a lot. She says he does not care anymore about her. She even revised her will to give him 2/3 of her money when she dies. He does not really care any more. He has enough for himself. This is a grandpa who took trp teachings that late in life. she constantly blows his phone but he is Ubered somewhere with his new 50 something yr old girlfriend. Mr. realized that his wife that he has dedicated his life to for 30years was willing to throw him under the bus in the 6 months he was sick. He is divorcing her. Grandma has turned into a bitter old hag. She gets most of the money, but he has enough to live comfortably for the rest of his life. He gets none of hers.

Lessons

'Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable: Anthony de Mello'

The inevitability that is AWALT should not be seen constantly in negative aspect. it is something a man should embrace as truth, regardless without question, and live life accordingly. think of it this way, if you keep running straight even in an 100 mile open field, inevitably you will come across an obstacle.

My example touches on this subject of relationships and money. Knowing the inevitable nature of AWALT, prudence dictates measures to be taken to avoid what we term divorce raped. However much you love your wife, separate your finances. If you haven't yet, start doing it slowly. Eventually either death or a divorce will happen. If not yet married, make an iron clad prenup. Famous last words, 'she loves me and the kids. She will NEVER do that to me' once a woman decides you are no longer her mate, selective amnesia sets in.... very quickly. She will not remember the kidney you gave her, the endless nights you spent at her side when she was sick, the money you loaned her, the support you gave her etc.

It is inevitable. The system is designed to favor her.

Don't be one of the many men who cry that they were divorced raped. Your tears are useless. You are the idiot. Your belief in the marital institution is your downfall, whether by ignorance or choice. If you are married, make sure to have a safety net because unlike Mr. Grandpa, you might not have a million dollars to fall back on.