Face it. At this very moment, if you're honest with yourself, you'd love to shove a piece of cake into your mouth, stop working those extra hours, and say fuck it, you deserve a break. Cozy up in front of your TV, grab a six pack of that IPA you've had your eye on for a while, and put your favorite sitcom on.
And yet one of several things may happen:
-
You indulge, you feel relaxed, go to sleep, and wake up the next morning feeling reasonably comfortable, albeit a bit groggy. You're not exactly skinny, but not exactly fat, and have some muscle. Your career is going pretty well, and are considering asking your boss for a 2% raise in a few months. We'll call this situation #1.
-
You indulge, you feel relaxed, go to sleep, and then next morning you have a little twinge of regret. It's so subtle that it's nearly imperceptible. But somewhere deep down, if you're honest with yourself, you're wondering if it was worth it. You look down and aren't 100% pleased with your body or financial situation. You sort of wish you didn't indulge quite so much last night. But your subconscious is excellent at what it does, protecting you from self-loathing, and you rationalize it. You're pretty sure you're on track to hit your goals, and you can learn to be happy with what the universe gives you in terms of relationships. We'll call this situation #2.
-
You choose to not indulge, and either do some work or chores you've been putting off, or relax without the beer and cake, perhaps reading a book you are interested in. We'll call this situation #3.
- Your indulgences are now no longer the beer and cake. Your indulgences are: A nice Chianti from your cellar. The latest Star Wars movie in your movie theatre room. Perhaps you just fucked a great looking girl who is finishing up her last semester of school. Maybe you order some expensive heavy Mediterranean takeout. You look down, and are extremely pleased with your body. You feel relaxed. When you wake up the next morning, you have zero regrets because you realize that your "indulgences" (if you can even call them that) are not going to hurt your goals. Your body is already at top shape, and you'll simply work a little harder at the gym and eat a lighter lunch today to compensate, bringing yourself back to before your indulgence meal. Your career is on track, so you know that spending time with Jennifer last night is not going to change whether or not your company succeeds. You have the financial freedom to be able to walk away and maintain your lifestyle, so buying that home theatre room doesn't take away from your finances. We'll call this situation #4.
Now before you act like a pain in the ass, and come telling me that there are a million different scenarios, and these 4 barely scratch the surface of all the possible types of nights, this is obviously meant to illustrate a point.
But what is that point?
The point is that these situations are sequential. The point is the twinge of regret. That little voice in the back of your head, knowing you could have better success if you really tried. And that one of the reasons you have not achieved those goals are that you have been indulging too much. The point lies in the links between the situations; the acts of will, the invocation of your choice, in which you move from situation #1 to #2 to #3 and finally to #4.
The point is that the only way to get from situation #1 to situation #2, is to realize you're being complacent in situation #1, and that you deserve better. The point is that the only way to get from situation #2 to situation #3 is to choose to act on that inner-frustration, and turn the dial up on your productivity. The point is that the only way for the majority of us to get to situation #4, is to revel in the discomfort of discipline, and stay in situation #3 until time works its magic, and the discipline compounds.
The point is that discipline plus time is what is necessary to achieve your peak potential. That giving up of your short-term indulgences is one of the best ways to achieve your long-term indulgences.
Continue reading on deepthrill.com or trp.red.
-Deep Thrill (anagram of the letters in "The Red Pill")
([deepthrill.com](http://www.deepthrill.com), [@deeperthrill](http://twitter.com/deeperthrill))
FieldLine 10y ago
I understand your whole post in regards to calculated indulgence and making optimal use of your limited time.
But how does one even begin to start such the process of figuring out what they really want? Let's take a potential goal that many men here can relate to: starting a family, and having kids. Before finding TRP, many of the men here bought into the BP Fantasy of raising kids with the assistance of a beautiful, faithful wife that would have your back no matter what. Reading TRP, these same men have been educated to understand that this fairy tale doesn't really exist - or, rather, it does but the deck is extremely stacked against them, and things likely won't play out exactly how they imagined.
Now, is this something one should work towards? It is possible for things to work out, but it's also possible to win it big by spending all day scratching lottery tickets, not exactly a productive use of your time. But if one were to take your advice at face value, since they want to get rich with as little effort as possible, they should get scratching ASAP to maximize their odds of winning.
It is just very difficult for me to truly digest your post because, while it sounds good on paper - figure out what you want, and everything you do should generally be towards that end - a lot of people, myself included, don't know what they want.
deepthrill Senior Endorsed 10y ago
That's a great question and perhaps the subject of a larger post.
But when I say start with that vision, I mean truly visualize it. Really pretend it's a movie in your head. Start filling in details.
As you start filling in details, your subconscious will guide you by making you realize which details can't come true, and the details which you do believe (e.g. visualizing the family having dinner together), what would have to be in place for that to come true.
What are the qualities of such a wife? When you're visualizing that dinner, what is going on in your head? How are you remembering how you and your wife met? What traits does she have, how easy was it to convince her to sign a prenup? How dominant are you, how do you handle stressors?
As you start filling in details your subconscious will keep you grounded as to what's realistic and you'll start to see the path between where you are today and that vision coming true.
[deleted] 10y ago
I think the biggest struggle that I have found is consistent discipline. I can be great for weeks and even months but as soon as there is a chink in that armor, I fall apart. Its kept me from achieving my goals and being great. The worst of it is I can be mediocre to good with out much effort at all but when it comes to being truely exceptional I fall apart. Its the single greatest struggle in my life and I cant seem to get past it
NeoreactionSafe 10y ago
Indulge Wisely
Yes, this is a very valid concept.
Avoid the repetitive indulgences where you eat the same thing or go to the same bar (or at home) and drink the large amounts of alcohol.
Make an indulgence a rare and special thing.
Consciously reward it as a positive.
But avoid rewarding a negative.
What does that mean?
Don't indulge after failure.
Don't reward a bad week and indulge to feel better.
Don't use the indulgence to correct a bad situation, but instead limit the indulgence as a reward for success.
Stop rewarding failure with an indulgence... you are rewarding losing.
Only reward your wins.
When things go badly stop partying entirely.
If you aren't winning much lately you might study Trump. (subtle joke)
Stythe 10y ago
This is key. You can't be fully on all the time, so make sure when you are able to be off you can afford to be. Eventually the process of working hard and rewarding yourself for that work will be natural and you'll end up feeling better about working hard. We are creatures of habit, surrounded by a culture that presents endless bad habits. Use your brain and start creating good ones. Routines that push you to the limit deserve to have a relaxing point afterwards, just don't get complacent.
TRP_Lee_zard 10y ago
Not sure if I understand correctly, but I think this might be a fallacy - if you perform at 100% all the time you are bound to fail at some point.
If you plan your goals and steps correctly there is a place for indulging, there is a time and place for a cake (cheat meal if you will).
Since I started in workforce I learned that best results are obtained when you plan for 80% of the capacity (leaving 20% basically on idle, or vacant/pleasure). Why? Because in case of any unforeseen circumstances you don't have any room for error (and keep in mind, you can only plan for yourself, not for others).
What I see in many of guys in TRP is: workout, work hard, gather capital for future...and then what? You are 50-60 years old, have millions and what then? Just sit back and relax? Looking back at all the things you COULD do then but cannot do now.
The key to successful life is ballance. -NoFap is only successful if jerkin' off took over your life - there is nothing wrong with spanking the monkey every so often, but if it's done conciously and not by habit or even worse an addiction
Honest introspection and moderation are key to life in my opinion.
[deleted] 10y ago
Exactly. I don't see anything wrong with having a night of just watching TV with some IPAs. As long as you work hard and are progressing in your career. We work hard and try to make more money, so that we can actually enjoy the money.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
StoicCrane 10y ago
Do nothing but to incite regret. If you have to second guess the answer is usually no.