Summary

Went out with a plate I hadn't seen in a while, and before the date she told me "just so you know, we're not having sex". Using an IDGAF attitude, the night ended up with me in her bed.

Body

I had been seeing this girl for several months, only to end contact with her in early March when she uninvited me from a vacation she was planning because "I wasn't giving her enough attention".

Knowing that I was dating other people was always difficult for her to handle, even though she would try extra hard to win me over whenever she saw me. When I refused to become monogamous with her, she insisted that I had "changed" and that I wasn't being "true to myself".

Her hamster must have been close to a heart attack for her to come up with that gem- which went something like this: "You know that you care about me, and you want to be in a relationship with me, so you're just doing yourself a disservice by denying yourself that opportunity". Somehow she had spun it around that I actually preferred a monogamous relationship with her, but couldn't make it happen. Obviously, in reality I wanted nothing to do with a monogamous relationship, especially with a plate who is quickly approaching the wall.

I was going to be in her neighborhood in a few days, so I sent her a text asking if she wanted to meet up for a drink. She got back to me with, "sure, we can meet up, but just so you know we're not having sex". My immediate response to her was, "why would I want to have sex with a girl that uninvited me from her vacation?". She replied with "you just keep telling yourself that" and I ended contact until the date.

When I saw her text about no sex, I had a pretty good feeling that, contrary to what she said, we'd be getting it on before the night was over. Prior to going out with her, I actually went on AskTRP and searched for people with similar experiences, and found this post.

/u/FrameWalker had this advice to give, which I feel is spot on:

When she says anything to the effect of "were not having sex tonight" what it means is "I'm thinking about having sex with you" in womanese.

This is completely true; if at any point a woman is telling you that she doesn't want to do "X" with you, more than likely she's actually been thinking about doing "X" with you, and will be more than willing to do "X" with you if you don't fuck things up.

Consider it one big shit-test. When she says "I'm not going to have sex with you", your response should be, in one way or another, "I don't give a shit". To quote /u/FrameWalker again,

If you're a cool guy it's no big deal if she's not dtf because well honestly you're worn out from the strict sport fucking regiment you're on.

If you maintain frame, have an abundance mentality, and project an IDGAF attitude, all of that thinking she's been doing about not fucking you is going to land her right on your cock.

The actual date went like this:

• Shot down her initial suggestion of a place to meet because... who cares, she picked it (frame)

• Discussed all of my dating adventures since I last saw her (abundance mentality with anecdotal social proof)

• Showed off my muscles (SMV+)

• Displayed no overt interest whatsoever in fucking her (IDGAF) - although I did eventually escalate as I would with any girl

By the end of two beers at this first place, she was displaying massive indicators of interest so I suggested we change venues. We went to one more bar, had one more drink, and by that point she was practically slobbering with the chance to take a trip to pound town. We left and immediately went to her place and fucked several times throughout the night.

Lessons Learned

• If a girl tells you that she's not interested in doing something with you, chances are she's been thinking about it and is really just trying to convince herself she's not into it. In this specific case, it was probably some kind of ASD.

• Strong frame is everything. Starting off the evening by going to a place that she had suggested would have been the first crack in my armor, which she would have undoubtedly followed up with more targeted shit-tests. Shoot that crap down ASAP.

• SMV is king. If I had shown up with a lower SMV than the last time I had seen her, things might have been more difficult. Not impossible, but any time your SMV drops, you're going to face an uphill battle.

• Social proof, even anecdotal, is important in demonstrating your desirability.

• Lastly, the "I don't give a fuck", or "outcome independent" attitude is key, especially in this instance. If I had gotten all butt-hurt that she was ruling out sex from the beginning, I wouldn't have had a chance. Showing her that I did't care about where the night ended up was what made this whole thing possible.

I know that all of this material has been covered again and again by TRP, but I just wanted to add my experience to the ever-growing collection of stories that prove the accuracy of TRP teachings. Thanks to all of you who make this sub what it is, many lives, including my own, have been massively improved.