A few weeks ago I posted an article about how most adult men (post-college age) do not have close male friends, and was looking to brainstorm ideas regarding what to do about it, and the response was a bit staggering- it clearly resonated with people on this board. And in true RED PILL fashion, the majority response seemed kind of depressing: in short, men don't typically forge close friendships post-college age.

Most men post-college are either focused on a Long Term Relationship, from which they usually exclude new social opportunities (to their detriment), or are lone-wolf types focused on self-development. Regardless, either types usually only socializes with established friends rather than forging new friendships.

Yes, it's depressing, but what is the over-arching message here on THE RED PILL? When we sort out the truth about the way things really work, do we get butthurt about it?

No, we adjust. We shift paradigms. We work to become successful with the way the world really is.

(Aside: The other over-arching message on the RED PILL is that a man must eliminate need; women may need, men may not. Get over the fact that you very likely aren't going to make new friends the way you had friends in high school/college. Crush your need and reap success with what is available).

If we look to one word to define those old friendships, I would use AUTHENTICITY. The easiness of being yourself, the non-judgment of your friends, the way you could rip on each other but in a way that radiated ultimate acceptance, the multitude of nights you spent watching WWF or playing n64 that felt magical- I can look back on so many of those nights where nothing really happened feeling as though they are some of my happiest memories...

And then you used that same strategy in your relationships with women... and here you are.

And then those magical relationships changed (or, if you're lucky, you grew together)... suddenly, you weren't so close. Or maybe your friend's life didn't turn out the way they wanted and they're jealous or angry... or maybe your efforts to improve hurts their fragile ego.

Any number of things could have happened, but suddenly, you're the lone wolf looking to make friends... and you have no idea how.

The point is... those types of authentic friendships aren't typically made as adults... So, our reactionary paradigm shift here is to think of friends now as ALLIANCES.

And, like how you learned that male authenticity is dead when Gaming women, you are going to develop a similar skill set to socially Game alliances.

It's crazy to think, but maybe I'm not alone on this... as my friend circle dissolved, I was so focused on working on my Game with women that my male-to-female social skills became sharp and effortless, but my male-to-male friendship forging skills became weak and insecure due to lack of use!

It's embarrassing, but it's true.... so, the very first rule to male-to-male social game is:

DO NOT TALK TO OTHER MEN LIKE YOU TALK TO YOUR BITCHES.

This may seem like retarded advice to you, and hopefully it does... but I caught myself a few times using the same slightly-condscending snark tone when talking to new guys at an MMA gym I was training at and I felt mortified... then I saw RSD Tyler mention this as a common problem with men entrenched in PUA, so I thought it might be something good to mention.

In my last post, I had casually mentioned how learning the different between NERD TALK and VIBING was a break through moment for me, and I got a ton of responses asking me to post the RSD Tyler video I saw it in... and, for the life of me, I cannot find it, but I can do a pretty decent explanation of it:

My brain is wired for NERD TALK; I think a lot of men on this board may have this problem also- if you're here for more than immediately useful sexual strategy; if you have a genuine interest in RED PILL theory or truth-seeking, chances are your brain is wired for nerd talk. Nerd talk is conversation with a purpose, and that purpose is typically some degree of truth seeking, or entrenched heavily in details and statistics; Nerd talk is all about WHAT is being said; if you are any good at gaming women, chances are you are NOT using nerd talk, or very very minially (likely in the form of Power Talk).

VIBING is conversation without purpose; the purpose is solely socialization, and the positive feelings of all the participants. If you are vibing with someone, and they're recounting details of a story and there are factual inaccuracies, the vibing solution is to just go with it. Vibing is very easy and relaxed.

To draw an example to distinguish the two, take a conversation about a UFC fight:

Guy in your office: "Did you see the UFC fight over the weekend? I can't believe Nate KO'ed Conner!"

You, vibing: "Yeah, that was crazy!"

You, nerd talking: "Well, Conner isn't really a natural welterweight, and he wasn't ready for Nate's reach... I mean, yeah, it was impressive, but I don't really know what it means in the overall picture of Conner's abilities"

VIBING is essentially any variation of "Yeah, that was crazy!" whereas nerd talk is detail and analysis heavy. Always start vibing with someone, and if they seem to be open to nerd talk, proceed from there... nerd talk definitely can build relationships with people, but if the vibe isn't there as a foundation, you'll never get anywhere socially with them.

When you get good at understanding the difference, you'll see how conversations with people will often be a mixture of the two, or will often shift back and forth naturally... For example, two guys in my office are old school pro-wrestling; if you were ever exposed to that culture, there are two types of pro-wrestling fans- nerds and casuals, and casuals sometimes think they're nerds... so it can be kinda confusing. Me and one of the guys kinda felt each other out, and now we nerd talk about it... the other guy tries to engage us in nerd talk, but has tons of bizarre opinions and silly inaccuracies- when he talks with us, we revert to vibing with him... point being, once it becomes something more natural, you'll be able to distinguish between the two rather easily and know which to use in what situation.

Other MISC Social Tips:

• A lot of guys had posted asking about social anxiety; my own tip, besides daily mindful meditation, is to consciously remind yourself to SLOW DOWN when interacting with someone new.. I find that I am too quick to make comments, or offer information, or give an opinion... not only does it seem to eager, and ergo kinda desperate, but it runs against the vibe... always mind the vibe first!

• Always say LESS THAN NECESSARY (Law of Power No.04); remember, mind the vibe! It's not about facts and opinions, as much as it is building a fun and comforting environment. Also, saying too much runs the risk of over-exposing yourself with someone, or coming off annoying and desperate to impress.

• Take one second to smile and greet someone after visually recognizing them. It seems less robotic and far more authentic; remember, like with women, seeming authentic counts.

• Always mingle with everyone.

• Don't be afraid of small talk; pointless bullshit. For years I avoided little chats about the weather at work, because what did it really accomplish? It accomplished establishing a vibe with someone, which means so much more than conversation with purpose (nerd talk).

• Always mind the vibe!

Like my post? Read my blog; www.KilltoParty.com (UPDATED 03/23: The Evolution of Equality)