I'm just going to say it: I hate how Reddit and Seddit in particular loves to take a dump on "nice guys". The feminine imperative, for instance, is strong in this thread. Sad article, even sadder thread.
Here's the argument underlying seddit's reasoning:
- Nice guys finish last. They have trouble in relationships, and even attracting women in the first place.
- Therefore, nice guys are emotionally weak, needy, entitled and manipulative.
Just take a shit already. Whoa, whoa there. There is nothing wrong with "nice guys."
I think most people in this subreddit (and the author of the article, I suspect) use the term "nice" as defined by the book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy."
Great. So when we say "nice guys finish last" we are only talking about these so-called manipulative needy people. Wait...why would we only talk about these guys? And the genuinely nice guys who are having the same trouble?
the idea that "nice" people are actually not so nice because they are typically "nice" with strings attached. Strings that even the "nice" person may not be aware of, such as hoping/expecting that the girl notices him after all his friendly gestures, and then getting bent out of shape when after years of supplication she marries a "bad boy" instead.
Strange that. A guy showing interest in a woman that he's interested in. That sounds...horrible. Reddit is all about making this sound pathological. Also, you want to know the epitome of "strings-attached"? Every woman you've ever dated. When a woman wants you, she also wants something from you. But I don't fault women for being this way, it's actually fucking normal.
And that has led to some not-so-nice revelations about who we might be as "nice" guys who finish last.
Know what is missing from this guy's discussion? Women. They are totally missing. The strength of the female imperative is so strong that women aren't even mentioned, they are like gods from another world, watching the feeble men scramble to try to figure out the right sacrifices and the right ceremonies to appease them.
No, nice guys finish last because women desire evil men. Oh yes, the conversation looks very different when women enter the room. Every HB knows something of the tragedy of wanting to want "the perfect guy", the guy who would make her happy, the decent, respectable, hard-working man who would care intimately about her needs. But she just can't go through with it, because she knows such a move would imply a great sacrifice for her. Such a man could never unlock whole areas of woman inside her, that can only be penetrated by an evil man. And once she's known such a man, no merely decent guy would do.