To those swallowing the pill, and to those who are browsing, I have a few words for you:
"Nobody gives a fuck who you were, and if you were weak in the past, they will always see you for who you were and not who you are".
I'm writing this from a personal experience and standpoint, if you wish to disagree, state your rationale and you're free to do so.
Fast forward 1 year ago. I was a fat fuck living at home and playing video games. If you've ever thought about negative stereotypes of gamers, I would be up there with the rest. Then my whole life changed after I decided that I would make it better. Not just better, change my circumstances to be different than before.
Socially awkward? Check. Nice guy? Check. Lazy? Check. Virgin? Check. My life changed after discovering this sub. I worked out. I went out. I made out. I put myself in situations I never thought I would be in before. I am far from the ideal person that I want to be, but I'm getting there step by step.
My close friends and family commented on my progress. My male classmates did as well. I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time. It was then when I decided to put my new found self to the test. I picked up a chick at a party and we hit it off, in fact I managed to pull her friends as well. Everything went smoothly until I unveiled my past to the girl that I had eyes for. She went from puppy eyes to dropping me like as sack of bricks - she couldn't even look me in the eye. I was devastated with myself, even if I didn't show it.
Fast forward to one week ago. I met up with a chick and her friend that seemed chill and easy going. I didn't hit it off because I didn't put up enough of a fun or confident vibe. I didn't assert in that context or maintain a decent frame. Then again BOOM, I mention my past and I get dropped like another sack of bricks. She smiled and said that, "nah, it's cool", and I believed it. I don't even know why at that time. Texting her to invite her out again, I was met with a "not free anytime soon... good luck".
People always want to see the best side of you. They never want to hear about the hardships and toil that you go through, the suffering that makes you a better person. They say, "just be yourself", but actually mean for you to show the best version of yourself and never falter. This I believe is maintaining frame. Shit's hard. I would encourage every person swallowing the pill to try and make all these mistakes when you can, so that you don't do it when you can't afford to.
Tldr; keep your past to yourself.
[deleted] 10y ago
Worthwhile advice.
Life is, in many ways, about selling yourself.
No one wants to buy a car that used to not start all the time but now runs great. They want a car that's never had a problem.
Jax77789 10y ago
Just fucking lie. I use to talk loads of non sense and contradictory stuff to people just for my own amusement, it works better than playing it straight. People do not care as long as they are pleased at what you do/ tell them. In my social circles no one knows what I do exactly or where I work or what I want. I always remain vague and shapeless. I only let thoroughly vetted men in my reality and that's less fingers you have on a hand. You only owe the truth to yourself, other BP men and women can be freely BS'd and Gamed without any serious consequences. I cannot understand why you told these bitches the truth about yourself.
sorceryofthetesticle 10y ago
The naive wish that you might make a "real" connection if you're totally open with chicks. That's why. Gotta kill that hope because it will NEVER happen.
sharp7 10y ago
"real connection" here is really just "Maybe they'll like me even if I'm fat".
Every thing you tell a check is a "you have to deal with this" and the more they have to deal with the less they like you.
twatbutter 10y ago
In a RP society you could afford to open up to your woman because they were raised better. Nowadays "opening up" equates to being weak or weaker in their eyes, and makes them embrace hypergamy.
And let's face it- there's nothing that a basic bitch can say that is particularly insightful or helpful; they get shit in life handed to them on a silver platter
icecow 10y ago
What do you say when a girl or anyone asks you point blank what you do for a living? Conceptually, I've decided I don't want to answer when people ask, but I haven't figured out how not to.
Jax77789 10y ago
I am a law consultant, I just say I work at a law firm, I then quickly conflate with "I work at xyz which is just around this place and it is just fantastic because bla bla bla and bla bla bla, by the way did you notice that bla bla bla, now what about you ?" and the conversation will go away from the question of your precise job most of the time.
Or I am in a playful mood and say whatever crosses my mind. I once replied that I was a gunsmith to a girl who asked what I did for a living. Then I turned on neg/ asshole mode to drive the focus away from that, and poof, the conversation shifted.
Or you could just refuse to answer,I will definitely meet that question with a strange " No" sometimes, could give hilarious results.
fitnessacctasdf 10y ago
Just say you do secret work and can't tell them.
Agu001 10y ago
Tell them you're an ass model (for a gay porn mag).
People generally know to drop it when you don't tell 'em.
outercourse 10y ago
Deflect using amused mastery; for instance: "I'm a hand model." "I test new face creams." Shit like that. If you have penchant for honesty, you can always reframe your occupation in a more glamorous way. In my past I was in the sign business. Instead of saying that, I would say something like "I make sure that you can tell where you're going when you go out shopping." Simple reframing can make even the most base job seem purposeful, even if you don't personally view it that way. You could say you're a crossing guard, or you could say that your job is making sure all the little children get to school safely.
icecow 10y ago
"I'm a hand model, but was forced into retirement at 27"
hamsterbator 10y ago
same reason it's not cool for guys to wear makeup and it's a turnoff if you spend 24-7 in the gym. The want natural alpha DNA between their legs not some beta who worked hard to improve himself. They are programmed to maximize survival odds for their offspring.
PantsonFire1234 10y ago
They want the guy that grew up perfectly. Funniest thing is that usually this guy is the least hardened of all. (Not talking about Chad here).
Stationarity 10y ago
Of course women hate gamers. Don't you know you're supposed to be mining gold for her new purse, not some imaginary glowing staff?
stemgang 10y ago
Women will reject you for having a sad past.
But guys are more understanding, and many will empathize with your struggle to overcome hardships. Or just to lift yourself up from general lameness.
LifeMedic 10y ago
+1 Tldr; keep your past to yourself.
Doesn't matter what it is. Anything you give a woman is ammunition that can at some point be shot back at you.
PostingIsFutile 10y ago
And they don't forget either.
There's a joke that goes something like "A married man need not remember anything he did wrong; his wife will remember for him."
reigorius 10y ago
You are so right. Last girl I dated shot that vicious ammo at me. I was baffled. It came out of nowhere, unexpected, new and meant to hurt.
Beta me didn't drop here or eject, because that would have been the smart thing to do. I kept trying to make it work, but she was... being a woman.
It's a tough pill to swallow to be the one who always is at fault, no matter what a girl did. It's you. Your frame is not strong enough, you fail to set a strong boundary, you reek of hope and willingness, you give of a vibe of weakness and boom, you're a goner.
But back to the post, yes, keep your fucking mouth shut. Just shut it, until you're done talking about the poor, sorry ass failure look at me now you. Shut it. Women can be evil bitches that will rip right through your meager progress and leave you as a smoldering pile of ashes.
Dont make the mistake, they don't do it on purpose or to hurt you. In fact, see it as a gift. A gift to enforce your boundary, a gift to dump her sorry ass on the spot, a gift to keep your frame solid.
Trpidation 10y ago
100%. The reason women are like that BY NATURE is because men are meant to be tested. We need to constantly conquer things. Women challenge us so that we can conquer their tests. When we are successful at it, we feel more powerful and they feel more comfortable because they know you are the one with power. The reason why we're in the societal shitshow that we're in is because men stopped conquering and instead started taking their women seriously. Remember brahs, women are irrational by nature. No matter what they say, first consider that it's being said by a woman.
[deleted] 10y ago
Actually, I get it now after reading LifeMedics post. DON'T tell them about your past at all!
[deleted] 10y ago
Just to clarify, do you mean that until you're ready to be the new you and only the new you, don't tell them/talk about the old you? Basically, don't do anything until you can move forward and forget the past you?
trancedj 10y ago
Exactly. Don't share the old you with women you're trying to bang. Ever. They can't appreciate where you've come from and the obstacles you've overcome. Women want a shiny finished product. They could give 2 shits about how hard it was to polish.
[deleted] 10y ago
I've been thinking about this whenever there is something i want to complain to about to someone, relating to their own behavior. Trying to make it a point that when i state whatever it is that i don't like, it doesn't sound like something that could be used against me, rather something that i won't stand. This means that you are never going to tell someone that something bothers you while relying on their good will to change their behavior because they care about you, it also means that you won't make any emphasis on how it makes you feel, because you dont want to give them that power, that kind of knowledge. "Honey look, i really don't like it when you do x thing because it makes me feel bad, please dont do it?" never do this, even if they do care about you enough to listen and act, they'll never forget about it, at least on a subconscious level, and will use it against you when the time comes and they get mad or upset at you for whatever bs reason, it's what they'll resort to whenever they want to punish you.
Thinking about this makes me realize that there is more to it than just the way you put it, by making it a point to communicate it like this you are also telling yourself that you won't let this whatever upset you because you will get rid of it the moment it happens. You recognize it can upset you, and you don't give it the chance to do it.
Boovs4life 10y ago
So how would one make her change her ways? Or do we just drop her?
[deleted] 10y ago
You set your boundaries and take action when they don't respect them. Easier said than done though.
[deleted] 10y ago
Most chicks live a Disnified existence anyway, so treat 'em as children.
maxescapist 10y ago
Absolutely true. Girls want to have a fairytale (ending). They rather have a lie than the true you. Get rid of your emotions. The sad truth. But it works.
AceofRains 10y ago
Yep, happened to me too. (Gay) dude I blew it with the first time tried to hang out with me "as friends" at the end of the day on Christmas. He told me he was going to med school and needed adderol and what ever drugs for his interview. I encouraged him to do it without all the drugs and bolster sheer confidence because that is what your interviewer would like. I also explain that I'm stopping all the drugs so he can't get anything through me. I started telling him that I was a loser before and everything I gained now is because I found my confidence and started making a difference. Explained to him that he initially rejected me because I was developing severe onitis which now didn't matter to me because I was cool with being friends. Well wouldn't you know this guy turns around and calls me a cynic in my own home and tells -me- to change my habits and go to the gym (which I happily do.) My friends all know me as the most positive guy around so I had a hard time understanding how I was a cynic. The fact is even if he became really unattracted to me for once being a loser, I was able to see that he was and is not worth my time if he can't handle a med school interview without being Xanaxed out. Moral of the story- listen closely because that person who judges you for once being a loser probably is/was a loser their damn self.
TheRabbitTunnel 10y ago
If you think you are exempt from the truth of this post, you aren't. If you've given off a good impression (both women and men see you as alpha/cool/top dog etc) they are going to expect you had a good past and not really question it. To tell them you used to be overweight, shy, needy, etc is going to be a negation to the idea that you are this cool alpha.
People assume that alphas don't have "bad" pasts and wouldn't want to talk about it even if they did. So, to talk about your bad past is a negation to both of those, and thus reinforces the idea that you're not actually "cool" or whatever other positive ideas they have of you.
Women will lose a significant amount of attraction towards you in a heartbeat if you tell them about the old you.
PabloEscoba 10y ago
There is no need to explain your life story. The reason for your rejection is your approval seeking frame when you start yapping about your past.
NeoreactionSafe 10y ago
Should the master reveal his darkest secrets to his slave?
No... of course not... if he did that it would open vulnerabilities and threaten the very basis of the master being above his slave.
This is true for dealing with women as well.
Since masculinity is the polarization of yourself away from the androgynous centerline if you reveal secrets it's undermining your polarization process.
Why do Blue Pill men reveal secrets?
Because they are trying to imitate women. Women love to reveal secrets because on a subconscious level that's a strong feminine polarity... to risk vulnerability to a stronger masculine man. It's a sign of submissiveness. It's psychological surrender.
Don't imitate those females.
Seek polarity.
Be conscious of your actions.
ArkAngelEV 10y ago
this guy gets it. listen up bitches
Clint_Redwood Endorsed Contributor 10y ago
This is only half true. If the past you was a drug dealer, reformed gang member, in and out of jail a lot, damaged upbringing it can greatly increase your SMV.
I've seen low life degenerates throw out their sob stories on their past and chicks eat that shit up like it's cake. Just has to be the right context.
Nerd incel gamer virgin, ya no.
Edit I'll elaborate more.
Your past should be from a stance of hardship and overcoming them. Woman want to be the reason you overcame them. If you give them the story that you are trying to turn your life around, they will give you puppy dog eyes as they want to get the reason you turned it around.
If you give them the story that you were a fat nerd virgin, you just look like a weak, lazy ass man that can't do shit. There is no struggle in being fat or a social recluse, it's the easy method of life in our society today. You project a possibility of becoming a timid bitch which is why they are repulsed by it. The mere fact that you use to have those traits shows the possibility that they could come back again.
LifeMedic 10y ago
One thing you mentioned that I'd like to highlight was; Woman want to be the reason you overcame them.
I wanted to highlight this as this is them turning your progression into their win and is a quick way for them to beta you.
Origami84 10y ago
A sad but unfortunate truth. Out of honesty, it works out in reverse too: if my GF suddendly told me she had been a hooker before meeting me i would think dramatically less of her, no matter how she behaved in the last years.
12_f_taiwan 10y ago
One plate revealed to me what she was raped in childhood by her older brother (wtf). Since then it just feels weird and awkward.
azrise 10y ago
I couldn't understand the reason for OP's point until you put it in that perspective. Thank you.
AnInstant 10y ago
There's a lil difference between being fat gamer and a hooker, don't u think?
BridgetheDivide 10y ago
Atleast the hooker was getting laid and making bank.
verify_account 10y ago
woman view fat gamers as worse than males view hookers.
joseph_fuzzco_Jr 10y ago
Yeah, because some males like hookers.
vaelamin 10y ago
Yeah it makes me feel so bad for all these young kids who watch twitch streams and aspire to be like these fucking nerds.
_the_shape_ 10y ago
By a few degrees, but he makes a solid point - beware what you reveal about your past.
Recently, a plate of mine casually told me that a few years ago, she used to walk around bare foot on her university campus. Taking stock of my growing apparent disgust, she very poorly tried to argue in favor of walking barefoot outside versus using shoes, effectively magnifying my repulsion for trying to hamster her way out of it.
I told her, "I'm going to pretend I never heard everything you just confessed to me", but the stain remains, and now I can't help but keep my eyes peeled for other rancid, dirty liberal behaviors.
Purecorrupt 10y ago
That doesn't disgust me as it apparently does you, but I would end up calling her a dirty feet dumb hoe. Best part is she wouldn't be able to argue against the newfound nickname.
Origami84 10y ago
Not that much - in both cases, you are wasting your potential. Men, inside a couple, are valued as leaders and providers. Basically, to have a vision, and the discipline and wilpower to pursue it; the opposite of the basement dweller. Women, they are valued for their beauty and nurturing qualities- being pleasant, faithful, ecc. An hooker screams of someone which will prioritize money over relationships, with messed up issues with men, and giving a vibe of dirtness and illness. They are both repulsive, and its no surprise their partner would look at them and wonder "how could they fall so low?"
NecroticFury 10y ago
so more of women having inherent value that we should care about?
a woman sitting on her ass is not looked at as bad. a man whore absolutely is.
women always get the best of both, so no its not repulsive to have been a fat loser. that would not effect the future like being a hooker would.
Origami84 10y ago
I am not sure i understand your point. Anyway, yes, women do have inherent value - being pretty and pleasant is something you can be from day one, if your dna was good enough - and i am not saying that being a whore is overall better than having been a basement dweller, just that they are close enough. Maybe i just have higher standards for men, but i can imagine a woman messing up her life without feeling particularly surprise. A men should know better. Having something better expected out of you is both a positive and a negative bias.
[deleted] 10y ago
A hooker is using her potential a lot more than a basic slut who wastes her prime years on the CC instead of finding a beta husband who will put up with her when she's old. At least the hooker gets paid.
mugatucrazypills 10y ago
wives are just hookers on a longer term contract
hooker is a wife with a poor pricing model
CC rider is a hooker paid in tingles
frankly they're all better than BP basement mcneckbeardwarcraft
at least they're out there working/whoring with what they got
[deleted] 10y ago
A wife is more than a hooker. A wife charges also for childbirth and childcare, not just sex. That way, she isn't totally useless post-wall.
mugatucrazypills 10y ago
tell that to the guys who got divorce raped, more shit that's in the brochure that may or may not get delivered.
i still say whore
[deleted] 10y ago
Team Woman is better at financial rape than Goldman Sachs...
[deleted]
Origami84 10y ago
That is such a bitter answer....
verify_account 10y ago
We don't filter out the truth here because it's uncomfortable.
Origami84 10y ago
It's not the truth, it's an opinion wrapped in bitterness. I agree that the hookup system is messed up, and i believe that women (and men) should give more value to each other and how they spend their 20s. That said, to write something like that - and to imply that a damn prostitute is still 'better' than a shallow girl is wrong. It just hint at a personal resentment towards women in general.
NecroticFury 10y ago
well that wouldnt make it less accurate, just less correct in your opinion.
MGHOW_ATL 10y ago
Ppl only want to see the story of development onscreen in 75-second montages -- incomplete, romanticized, and glossed-over.
Nobody wanted to see skinny Arnold's pics till he was a huge star, and then only as a curiosity.
United-Liberty 10y ago
Yeah, there's a overwhelming risk that people will brand you as an fraud or imposter, atleast unconsciously.
marianasentmenudes 10y ago
At the same time who cares about what potential plates think about you. They'll just look at you as a sex object with the thoughts of you being an impostor coming and going every now and then.
spurdosparade 10y ago
As many redpillers said: for a woman, the worst type of Beta is the Beta that wants to be an Alpha. That's why feminazis don't like "game".
XofBlack 10y ago
Not just for women but for men too. I become disgusted when some beta tries to take charge of a group. Usually everyone just kinda ignores him and/or turns to the AMOG for confirmation
Dustin_Bromain 10y ago
To be honest, I've never had anyone think less of me because of my past. Maybe I'm missing out on an important experience.
winterequinox007 10y ago
I've had many guys in my life who respected me much more in a heartbeat because of the changes. It's the women that I've had this experience with.
muh-soggy-knee 10y ago
I think it depends on the woman.
I'm usually honest about my past, at least some of it, pretty early on. Reason being it's left physical effects that are immediately noticeable once clothes come off and I'd rather be rejected early than cause disappointment or disgust at my body. Which looks epic clothed, but merely adequate naked.
Some have bolted. Some have reacted with awe at the mental focus required to achieve the transformation. Perhaps recognising the lack of the same in themselves. But one kernel of universal truth does remain in this - Its near enough impossible to fuck a girl who actually knew you back then. Her perceptions will not generally change, even if you have gone from Jonah Hill to Channing Tatum
toneroma 10y ago
I'm not so sure it's universal. I was a virgin until my late twenties and by now, in my mid thirties, I've fucked 3 girls who I knew in my early twenties. That said, most of the reason I was a virgin for so long was because I set up mental walls and was, realistically, beta as fuck when it came to the idea of sex, and not because I was a fat, awkward gamer (gamer, yes, 'till death and fuck you, too).
After I finally stopped being a bitch and had sex, but before I met my ex-fiance, I had adopted a life-style that was fairly red pill and racked up a pretty good n-count (my story is in my comment history, if you care). After I swallowed a fresh, double-strength blue pill and got engaged, however, I gained 70 pounds and became... just ridiculous.
Since we broke up, I discovered this place and realized what an idiot I was, went back to lifting, upgraded my career and my life style, and fucked my ex's best friend who knew me best when I was at my worst.
To be fair, she also met me when I was at my best (just before the fall).
So yeah, I think it definitely makes things difficult, but it's not impossible. There are a lot of mitigating factors.
Also, my ex definitely found out that I fucked her best friend (they always find out) and that, in turn, lead to me seeing her for the first time in a year so that she could passive-aggressively rebuke me and generally be a snotty bitch. I don't think she expected me to be so close to being "back in form", and she was clearly having a hard time maintaining her bitchy frame while I was stoic and dismissive after openly having had sex with her friend. I ended up fucking her within an hour of showing up (she has a new boyfriend, btw), and now I continue to basically ignore her unless she sends me nudes or is offering me sex.
I haven't been secretive about having been a virgin until 27 since the first 2 or 3 girls I slept with, and it has never caused me problems.
At any rate, if you are sufficiently attractive and fit, you could probably tell women that you used to be a fat brony who once strangled a man and she would still let you fuck her in the ass.
tallwheel 10y ago
Now, that would only make her want to fuck you more.
muh-soggy-knee 10y ago
I think its universal that it makes it harder. But I would agree, I say near impossible, but not completely.
And on your last paragraph. It goes without saying that this is true but for a lot of guys being "sufficiently attractive" to balance that out is simply beyond their genetic capabilities. Unless you are extremely wealthy, or fucking HB5's or lower.
toneroma 10y ago
I disagree that genetics contributes much the way that you are implying. If you are 6 feet tall and 210 lbs @ 8% bodyfat and carry yourself like a fucking alpha, you could be missing an eye or have a poorly corrected cleft palate, acne scars, and a nose that looks like a porpoise and you could probably still get that pussy.
I have concluded from experience that as long as you are visibly very fit and you carry yourself well (ie show high SMV/confidence), then women will find you attractive.
I have observed that even high-value women would choose an intelligent, interesting, confidant, successful, masculine, and witty guy with a great body whose face was not conventionally attractive over a naturally "beautiful" man who waits tables at Applebee's and has no hobbies outside of watching football.
95% of a person's total possible SMV comes from things that you can control or improve. Lift, read, and fucking be an interesting, extraordinary person and you trump the guy with the million dollar smile unless all else is equal.
A great body combined with easy confidence will get basically any woman wet. Throw in a good brain and she will ache for you.
I've never heard of any examples of a truly fit/stacked guy with actual confidence having trouble getting into womens' pants.
So, I disagree that genetics are a roadblock for a vast majority of men. Women date/fuck guys that are less conventionally attractive than them all the time, and they aren't necessarily rich, either. Hell, women will date funky looking, dad-bod packing, unemployed slobs if they know how to wield confidence and send that alpha signal. We all know at least one example of that, but I challenge you to honestly present an example case of a stacked, easy-confidant guy who couldn't land an 8 or a 9 because his was a butter-face (buthim-face?). Women are inherently more likely to fuck or LTR this kind of a guy than a guy is to do the same with a female equivalent. Most guys would fuck/ONS a butterface within reason, but would be less likely to accept an LTR with them compared to a women in the reverse situation.
Heaven forbid I should actually accept a woman's word on this, but this comment from askwomen fits pretty squarely into AWALT from my experience:
Of course, she is side-stepping the very real fact that chiseled abs will make her wet (as is true for basically any women), if you are so confident and personable that you make her feel awkward and smart enough to make her feel stupid, then you have won half the battle. The other half is basically all physique, however.
TL;dr:
Hierarchy of SMV:
...
...
??. Face/genetics
icecow 10y ago
<rant, rant, warning> Why would you ever refer to yourself as fat fuck when you could say nothing or, at most say "before I was in to working out"?
Why would a guy say "I used to be a troll in my moms basement and play video games all day"? At most say, "back when I played video games before I could get out from under my mom's thumb" Even that's too much. If someone brings it up, better to just not react at all or send a vibe that you don't think about video games, that they are long dead like legos when you were 10.
Imagine some backward homely girl from Kansas whom wears a stuffy sweater after moving to California. She thinks the sweater (and her fat ass) is part of what makes her her. She thinks giving up her retarded look is selling out. She imagines herself wearing the clothes other girls wear and feels it doesn't jive for her (partly because she'd look ridiculous in them with her fat ass). She waffles between the idea of staying how she is or stuffing her fat ass in to the exact clothes that other girls wear with no sense of personal style, that wouldn't work for her, forever deciding to wear her stuffy sweater, bangs, and fat ass. She doesn't see the in between where she has room to progress, like wearing some jeans and a nice top, then working on her weight. No. She sees all of the basic improvements as giving up her identity, and 'not being her real self', and 'being fake'. When people look at her she will share beliefs that are consistent with her dress.. even if she doesn't believe them.
It works the same way for men. Who fucking cares about your past. Only you do, because you hang on to it like a homely girl from kansas.
The Nuke and replace method is supreme. Smoked pot for the last 7 years? Sick of it? quit. Hang around different people. (but my pot smoking friends are part of my identity!!!). You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, and every time you don't you are growing stronger yet another way. Part two, fill yourself with enough things that you don't have the opportunity to dwell. If that means working out 4 days a week, and bowling (shrug) 3 days a week, that will work. After that it's the art of letting time go by. You are that homily girl that decided to wear some basic jeans and a nice top, who stopped hostess cupcakes and mom's spaghetti recipe, and spends more time walking the local beach boardwalk, and investigating kale smoothies? chinese chicken salads?
Noone gives a fuck. You can even 'float' in to being the person you choose to be. Don't talk about your past that you don't like. It's just further living it. If need to for any logical reason, frame it like it's dead past, not the living past. Make sure the tone in your voice is congruent.
toneroma 10y ago
I should clarify that I'm not really one that would just volunteer that kind of information about myself, but I also value honesty and if somebody asked me, "How old were you when you lost your virginity", I'm not going to beat around the bush, or lie, or act like a bitch about it. I have been asked about, and answered honestly, by multiple women and it has never caused a pussy to snap shut.
Amused mastery and frame control are all you need.
Don't be a bitch and own it. Own it like a fucking man with a chest full of billowing chest hairs, each of them smoking a pipe and getting their dick sucked by a model.
Again, though, none of this is to say you should just be throwing that info around, which makes me question OP's social graces. I can't think of many contexts where something like "I used to be a fat, gross nerd, but look at me now!" would be relevant, especially with a girl you just met. This makes me suspicious that OP is basically working it into conversation on his own, which seems... Awkward to me.
LEGO_not_LEGOS_ 10y ago
Please refer to LEGO products as 'LEGO bricks and toys' and not 'LEGOS'.
[deleted]
redolas 10y ago
There is a cool-off period. After 20 years she more than forgot about you. Also, she's closer to the wall by now, her demands are going down. So yeah, it can happen.
But think of it this way: imagine the fattest girl you know. Now, if she ever got in shape, would you bang her? No. Because you know her, and because you still see the old her. If time gives your mind a reset, then maybe.
toneroma 10y ago
It had only been about a year, not 20 ;)
And honestly, if the girl had somehow attained a hot body, I probably would fuck her. Why wouldn't I?
redolas 10y ago
It would remind me too much of her old self. If I knew her as a hambeast, I'd never get in bed with her. Funny enough, if you knew somebody who was hot and is in worse shape now, I'll allow 1-2 SMV points below the usual. The power of first impression, maybe.
toneroma 10y ago
I think that if I knew her as a heroin addict or someone who loved drunken gangbangs at parties, that would be an issue for me, but my eyes work well enough to update my dick on the current situation. As for a hot girl letting herself go a little, I think you are right but the way I see it - if you knock 1-2 points off of a 7-9 (the "hotness range" on my arbitrary, personal rating system), then you are left with a 5-7, which is either still technically hot or, at very least, fuckable.
For clarification, in my arbitrary, personal hotness scale (APHS), anything 5 or higher is fuckable.
Battle-Scars 10y ago
Seriously, they don't even want to hear you're having a bad evening, they'll smell weakness. The past they do want to hear about is the time you got into a fight in Vegas, how many nights you spent in jail, how many cars you wrecked, how many times you had a gun pointed at you in anger, etc, etc.
foresculpt 10y ago
Correct, here is a recent post exert that follows the "outrage-cum-convert" trope from a female infested tech blogging site I frequent:
Now, to be fair she goes on to say that she is now convinced that him organising his thoughts or meditating was a good thing, (she doesn't say how long that process took, I'd assume after many long arguments) and all mothers should emulate this take-a-moment-for-yourself task that she now does (while listening to music) because mothers have the hardest job in the world. I think it just shows that they are only capable of emulating and mirroring a man's resolve/qualities when it's sold as strong and attacking it when it's weak.
WhySoRuff 10y ago
Ofcourse the guy with the username battle scars talks about smashed cars, fist fights and jail time. I re frame all experiences like these to my advantage and they eat it up.
"I shouldn't even be alive"
"OMG baby I'm so glad you are"
Yes.
[deleted] 10y ago
SO never let out weakness in your stories. Thus no stories about weak points in your life. Like that time you got that job after having no job.
Battle-Scars 10y ago
Correct, she does not want to hear about how down you were and how shitty you felt about yourself when you were unemployed.
You want to frame getting a new job as a goal you set and achieved. Done correctly with confidence, it will raise your SMV. What you don't want to do is frame it like "Hey, I got a job, am I good enough for you now?"
[deleted] 10y ago
This is one of those things that gets better as you age though. Since you mentioned your classmates leads me to believe you are in high school or college. So fairly young and a year transition is very short. But if you were a nerd in high school that won't negatively affect you when you are 35.
Hell, past the wall most women just talk about how good looking they used to be as if it somehow means they are attractive today. If when you are 30, if you talk about how when you were young you were over weight and had social issues, that will most likely not be used against you if you no longer have those problems. If you were a fat kid but are in incredible shape at 30 most chicks will not hold that against you.
For young chicks, being themselves means being a hot young chick. They don't have to pretend or even try most of the time.
This is just one of those things where you can give it time.
mugatucrazypills 10y ago
All this assumes the woman stops talking about herself long enough to hear anything you say.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm lucky here because my past looks good on paper, good scores for school, state sides for athletics and football, few charity things I didn't think much of doing at the time. However, I got that by not putting time in socially, I was compensating for the fact I didn't have the confidence to approach.
So on paper my SMV was high, but 11 months ago girls would rather watch paint dry then be 1 on 1 with me because I certainly didn't GET it. I started connecting a few dots myself, and found this sub. Tbh I haven't taken advantage as well as I could have, and when things were going well I forgot about TRP and let the girl know I was a virgin, instantly saw the difference and then we nexted each other I guess, got with another girl two weeks later cause I was sick of having no experience... It was so certain as well, real eye opener as soon as she got that bit of info
But yeah, unless you have a sound reason for not getting with someone, drop it that you are Virgin you'll probably get away no problem
[deleted] 10y ago
I can guarantee you that good school grades and charity work don't give you a high SMV.
icecow 10y ago
At best, if you are a smoking hot dude, and are introduced as a man with good grades, charity history women will use that as an excuse to hit on him blatantly, you know, because she is a good woman attracted to values like grades and charity work.
Noolaw 10y ago
Tell that to unwesternized Asian women. A's in school in a University in Thailand is practically a pussy magnet.
icecow 10y ago
Sounds like Asia's CC is the quest for betabucks instead of tingles.
TheBunBun54321 10y ago
Even though I'm a fairly young guy (19) i like to reveal how i used to be to peers who don't have faith that the work they put in on their diets and weight training will have any effect on them. I like to only reveal how i use to be as a way for my peers to know exactly is possible for themselves because honestly i changed so much physically in the past 2 years.
LifeMedic 10y ago
Peers, especially RP or MGTOW'ers knowing your past is entirely different. I don't have any BP friends so I can't speak on that.
My friends (RP/MGTOW types) know my past, and once in a while pasts come up while socializing. We do use our pasts among ourselves for camaraderie, teaching/learning points, etc.
However, we never reveal our or our bros past in front of a woman, regardless of who she is. Even a good past can be flipped by a woman to tear down a man.
i.e. I've had to testify for a friend who was being divorced raped because his ex-wife was calling him a "war criminal" in court. He had night terrors, she twisted that to mean that he did bad things while active duty and would do those same things to their children.
[deleted]
RedPill4LYF 10y ago
My rationale is if she has any issues with my past or whatever it's her perogative. I'm me, and I'm walking my path. She can choose to come with me if she wants, and if not, there's plenty more where she came from.
I don't view my past as anything to be ashamed of and so when they ask me personal questions I grab the barrel of the metaphorical gun in their hand and plant it square on my forehead when I answer. If she's going to play games with me she's going to find out what my true power level is soon enough.
I would argue women are more likely to treat your past as a weapon they can use against you if you reguard it as one when telling them anything about it. If instead you simply own your past then in my experience at least it's a good shit test of my own for them. Shitty women will reject me, and the women I want to scoot a little closer will respect me for who I am in the moment.
savedarticles 10y ago
nice man! Consider it the price you pay to learn. It's better to fail early on if it makes you a better man (which it has). Bitches just want to be entertained. Confidence, leader, being a success in life will get in their pants. Otherwise, they'll eject you. There's a million more. You won't be everyone's cup of tea. Personally, a little pain now is better than falling into orbit and wasting precious resources.
EmperorAurelius 10y ago
This is a really hard concept for me to grasp. I'm currently dating someone and I did the complete opposite of this thread on the first two date. We're going to be going on a third date but now I feel like I may have done damage that can't be fixed.
I just can't bring myself to have to lie or not reveal stuff about my past. I mean they ask.
LifeMedic 10y ago
If they ask just respond with a question towards them opening them up to talk. "Oh, let's not talk about that, what was your growing up like?" etc.. don't worry, they'd much rather talk about themselves.
winterequinox007 10y ago
I wouldn't lie, that would bite me in the back some other day. Being ambiguous will be enough
summervijx 10y ago
This goes for anyone. It's not just women. Every interaction should be viewed as if you have been read your Miranda rights. Anything you say can, and will be used against you.
eshua321 10y ago
Disagree. Once you have a woman hooked her stress level over your ability to land other women will skyrocket. If you give them nothing but confident arrogant prick.... they'll fuck you but theyll cut and run before they get left. Temper your message with your nerdy non player past and suddenly "I wasn't always like this", and you are the male version of a chick who fucks like a freak, but feels like a virgin.
outercourse 10y ago
You're projecting what a man values in a woman and equivocating it with what a woman values in a man.
The feminine woman, and even the woman who uses assumed masculinity to vet men, is always searching for the bad boy who recently decided to be good. She must know of your "bad" past because this creates value/dread.
In addition, being a basement dweller & gaming enthusiast does not qualify as "bad." That's reserved for men who do or have done something dangerous. Dealing drugs, motorcycling, fighting (competitive martial arts), skydiving, womanizing, traumatic upbringing, performing music, ect.
TheMGhandi 10y ago
She's jealous...that's all.